After two Pay Per Views inside of three weeks, WWE found themselves needed to wipe the slate and start some new feuds headed into Money in the Bank, which is traditionally one of their most anticipated PPVs. As a result, Raw was almost entirely given over to qualifying matches for spots in the Money in the Bank match, leading to some hotly contested bouts that served to carry the balance of the show. Oh yeah, and that Seth Rollins guy made his return to Raw, and he had more than a few things to say about that.
10. Or We Could Do That
So, Seth Rollins enters Monday Night Raw basking the cheers of everyone who now sees him as the next great hope against the inexorable tide of Roman Reigns, and proceeds to instantly cut a heel promo. Now, it was an awesome heel promo, and Seth Rollins can play one of the best heels in the business as long as the booking doesn’t undercut him to the level it did during his WWE World Heavyweight Title reign. However, this continues to affirm the “Reigns or bust” train that we’re stuck on out of, apparently, pure doggone stubbornness, and thus we have a heel who the audience wants to cheer, against a babyface that the fans want to boo. If this were anyone else not named John Cena (who at least justifies it by moving merchandise and driving WWE’s PR machine), we’d have already seen the double turn by now, but instead, we’re clearly going to continue to pretend that the sheer presence of a reaction is justification for claiming that the Reigns project is proceeding as planned. Buckle up folks, much like that alleged ancient Chinese curse, it’s going to be an interesting time.
9. Does WWE Have A CGI Budget?
More important than Sami Zayn continuing to win matches (this time against his evil alternate universe counterpart Sheamus, which now you can never un-see), and WWE actually trying to get the Heluva Kick over as an instant “Win” button, is that Sheamus seems to have finally snapped. We suppose if we’d been turned into a lame duck champion given the impossible task of getting Roman Reigns over, stuck in the League of Nations, and jobbed out in increasingly ridiculous fashion, we’d start getting a little frustrated too. We can’t help but suspect that Sheamus’ new “I really hate the New Era, fella” character that appears to have a tendency to shake uncontrollably and explode in rage could be a precursor to some sort of cross-promotion with his role in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which begs the question, is there a non-zero chance that WWE could find a way to have Sheamus morph into a rhinoceros on TV? Because we would entirely watch that, even if we’re on the fence about the actual movie.
8. An Argument For Paying Jobbers More
We may have mocked Ryback’s Internet rant about how lower card wrestlers deserved to be paid as much as the main event guys (mostly because it was incredibly self-serving and ignored the fact that Ryback was already being handsomely paid and given multiple chances despite being a bad wrestler), but if we’re talking about Heath Slater, whatever they’re paying him to get ridiculously humiliated simply isn’t enough. We thought the Social Outcasts might at least earn a spite push now that Adam Rose has been quietly dealt with, especially when they got the upper hand on the New Day before the match, but no, it’s all just a set-up for Heath Slater to get absolutely pummeled with a birthday cake. The next time you start complaining about hating your job, think about if you’d be willing to get thrown into a frosted bakery item for the amusement of millions. Heck, we’re considering running a crowdfunding account so we can make sure Heath knows his sacrifices in the name of slapstick wrestling comedy are appreciated.
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