HeadLocker — Jay ShannonThe Impact (02/11) Insight
Our resident philospher looks at the pre-Against All Odds edition of Impact.
There were more twists and turns, this week, on TNA. The fall out of the attack on Kevin Nash began. Plus, the Eight Card Stud Tournament got its final entrants.
The show opened with a look back at the various issues, including Scott Hall and 6-Pac turning on their long time friend.
This Week’s Episode:Hulk’s Moment of Truth
Hulk Hogan came out to the ring. He was not a happy Hulkster. He informed everyone that the Impact Zone was on full lockdown. Hogan mentioned that the people “up north” were noticing TNA. Hogan said no one would get out or in, tonight. Hogan said Hall and 6-Pac were out of line. Hogan suggested he might lace ‘em up, if needed. Eric Youing stormed down to the ring. The crowd started to chanted “Under-rated”. Eric said he was close friends with Nash, which is rare. Eric wanted Hogan to let Hall and 6-Pac in, so they could get what they deserved. Hogan cut him off. Hogan threw respect to Eric. Hogan said he gave The Band their last warning. They would not be allowed in the buiilding. Eric accepted it and said he would go out after them. Hogan said Eric should go off-property and bust ‘em up real bad. Hogan then exited the ring.
Backstage, Mick Foley was looking for Eric Bischoff. He was told Eric was in his office.
Hall and 6-Pac were skulking around outside the Impact Zone.
Back inside, it was time for the next 8 Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match. Orlando Jordan and D’Angelo “The Pope” Dinero faced off.
Orlando Jordan d The Pope
8 Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match
Pope hit a punch but Jordan came back with a Kneelift. Jordan with a violent Spinning Neckbreaker. Jordan with the Wind-up Backbreaker. The crowd started chanting at Jordan “You still suck!” Jordan boxed away but Pope went to town on Jordan with an Inverted Atomic Drop and hit a Flying Fore-arm. Pope with Knife Edge Chops. Pope hit The Coronation on the ropes. Jordan with a shot tot he throat and a Spinebuster. Pope kicked out at two. Jordan kicked at Pope. Pope began to box and then nailed the D-D-E to advance in the tourney.
Jay’s Thoughts: I like both of these guys. Both guys are great and deserve a push. Pope should do well in the tournament. He won’t win but he will do well.
Jeff Jarrett talked with Eric Bischoff. Jarrett knew what Eric was up to. Eric said Jarrett over-delivered, two weeks back. Eric was impressed. Eric admitted that he under-estimated how valuable Jarrett was to TNA. Jarrett wanted a spot in the 8 Card Stud Tournament. Eric said he wasn’t sure if Jarrett was ready. Eric denied Jarrett entry into the tourney and then cackled.
It was time for the second 8 Card Stud Tournament match. Suicide, who’s been MIA for weeks, took on Matt Morgan.
Suicide d Matt Morgan
8 Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match
Morgan moved Suicide to the corner. Suicide looked, physically, a little different. I’m not 100% sure if it was the same guy under the skull hood. Suicide jumped over Morgan, bounced off the ropes and kicked him, several times. Suicde with a Dropkick. Suicide with a Crossbody but Morgan turned it into the Fallaway Slam. Morgan with the Machine Gun Back Elbows. He followed that with a huge Corner Splash. Morgan with the Side Drop. Morgan with a killer Headbutt and the Flying Leg Lariar, over the ropes. Suicide came back with a Springboard Dropkick after bringing Morgan’s throat down over the ropes. Morgan went for the Chokeslam but Suicide flipped out of it. Suicide hit a Dropkick but Morgan shrugged it off and nailed the Carbon Footprint to euthanize Suicide.
Jay’s Thoughts: Was that the “real” Suicide? I don’t think so. KAZ is so much better than that. It is so time to retire the skull maks and bring back KAZ.
Foley knocked on Bischoff’s office door. Foley said he was willing to climb on board, if Abyss and JB were saved from Bischoff’s wrath. Eric said Abyss and JB were fine. Eric gave Abyss one of the two last spots in the 8 Card Stud Tournament. He gave the other one…to Foley. Foley and Abyss were set to battle each other in the opening round at Against All Odds. Bischoff said Foley needed a make-over. Bischoff warned Foley if there were any shenanigans during the match, Abyss would have to unmask on next week’s TNA Impact.
Eroc Young waited outside for The Band.
Mike Tenay ran down the lineup as to the first round matches in the 8 Card Stud Tournament on Sunday. They are:
Abyss v Mick Foley
The Pope v Desmond Wolfe
Hernandez v Matt Morgan
Kurt Angle v Mr. Anderson
Speaking of those last two, Christy Hemme interviewed the two men in the locker room. Hemme wanted to know how the two would function as a team. Anderson said he would be able to carry Angle. Anderson boasted about how he would blow through his opponents to become the next TNA World Champion. Angle warned Anderson that if he screwed Angle, he’d snap Anderson’s ankle. Anderson called for the Drop Mic and did the Mr. Anderson, Anderson thing.
Angle talked with Eric Young. Angle warned Eric that he couldn’t beat Hall and 6-Pac. Angle said Eric would stay inside and he would take out The Band.
The X-Division title was on the line in a return match. Amazing Red came out to try and regain his belt. Doug Williams then waltzed from the back. His British Invasion co-horts were left in the back. TNA looked at how Doug won the strap.
Doug Williams d Amazing Red
X-Division Title Match
Doug with a Flying Back Elbow. doug with a Snap Mare into the Head Scissors. Doug rolled over and slammed Red’s face into the mat, several times. Doug went to the Rear Chin Lock. Doug with the European Uppercut and Flying Kneedrop. Doug with a Snap Mare and Running Knee. Doug went to the ropes but Red did his best Brian Pillman/Arn Anderson imitation as he Dropkicked Doug off the corner. Red with a fantastic Corkscrew Plancha over the top rope onto Doug. Red with a Missile Dropkick for a two. Red with a Corner Dropkick and a Jumping Spin Kick. Red went for a Hurancanrana but Doug countered. Red flipped around more than pancakes at Denny’s to roll up Doug for a two. Red with a Trouble in Paradise to Doug. Red went to the top rope and dove over Doug. Doug threw Red into the corner and finished him off with Rolling Chaos Theory (Rolling German Suplex).
Taz admitted being jealous of the move by Doug WIlliams.
The Beautiful People walked backstage. It was a 3-on-2 handicap match. Taz started doing a Jerry Lawler-like call for “Tamaytas”.
TNA looked at the Tara, Angelina Love feud. Now, the two are set to battle, after they deal with Madison Rayne, Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich.
Christy talked with Love and Tara. She wanted to know if they could get along. Love said “the past is the past”. Hemme wanted to know what the plan was. “It was going to get ugly…real ugly”.
B>The Beautiful People d Tara and Angelina Love
3-on-2 Handicap Match
Tara worked over Rayne. Raune reversed an Irish Whip and Lacey grabbed the ankle. Rayne jumped Tara and pounded away. All three Beautiful People attacked. Sky came in and sood on Tara’s hair and pulled the arms. Lacey with a Moonsault Elbow Drop. Rayne tagged back in and Fore-armed Tara. Both tried for a Clothesline. Love and Raune got the tag. Love took out all three Beautiful People. Love with a Spear on Sky. Lacey made th save. Rayne with a Sleeper on Tara. Love hit the Pump Kick on Sky. Lacey grabbed her “ugly stick” and cracked Love in the back. The ref didn’t see a thing but turned to make the count.
Jay’s Thoughts: Lacey couldn’t wrestle her way out of her clothes. She is possibly the worst wrestler that I’ve seen in years. A nice body and cute face only go so far. No wonder WWE booted her out of the developmental program. I don’t expect her to last much longer in TNA. Hogan and Bischoff aren’t impressed with, which is a Kiss of Death, right now.
Lacey attacked Tara’s knee with the Ugly Stick.
Christy tallked with Desmond Wolfe. Wolfe brought up the Forrest Gump “Box of Chocolates” quote. He felt that was bollocks (Baloney). He felt life was like a poker game. Wolfe ridiculed everyone in the main event. Christy giggled like a school girl as Wolfe made fun of Mr. Anderson’s way talking.
Hall and 6-Pac were still lurking in the shadows, outside. It was time for the main event. It had a 20-minute time limit and TNA had more than 30 minutes left to go. Hmmm…something’s up. Desmond Wolfe came out alone for the tag match. Hernandez then joined his make-shift partner. Anderson was the next to arrive. He did his own intro, on the ramp. Finally, Kurt Angle was introduced. Kurt got a monster pop.
Mr. Anderson and Kurt Angle d Desmond Wolfe and Hernandez
Anderson refused to take the tag. Angle with several Clotheslines on Wolfe. Wolfe with a boot but Kurt wiht a Belly to Belly Throw. Angle popped Anderson and then took out Hernandez with a European Uppercut and La Bandera Clothesline. Wolfe jumped Angle and hit the Hammerlock DDT for a two.Wolfe wantd the Rower of London but Angle countered it into the AngleSlam. Angle got too close to his corner and Anderson tagged himself in. Anderson kicked Angle and pitched him out of the ring. Anderson then took the pin on Wolfe.
Jay’s Thoughts: This match really fell short of its potential.
Samoa Joe walked backstage.
Joe made his way into the Impact Zone. The crowd was solidly behind Joe. Joe said he came out to talk to A.J. Styles. Styles came from the back with his mentor, Ric Flair. Styles looked Rick Martel ala The Model in his flashy suit and shades. Joe said Styles absolutely disgusted him. Joe said the two of them were the best in the world. Joe said the two of them always gave it their best.. Joe said Styles gave it all up. Joe said Styles earned what he’s gotten. Joe said Styles threw it all away with the short-cut.
Flair took the stick. He reminded Joe that Styles is the champ and the flagship. Flair said Joe would learn about respect. Joe said if Flair came to the ring he would be limping his *ss to the hospital, afterwards. Joe said Styles cheated the fans out of a champion. Styles got ticked at that comment. Styles talked about how often Joe has switched sides. Styles wanted to know who Joe was to judge him. Joe sad he would bear his crosses. Joe said he has stood up to everyone, while Styles dropped to his knees and kissed up to his new “Sugar Daddy”. Styles was ready for a fight. Flair tried to hold Styles back. Joe ripped into Styles like a man possessed. Joe wanted the Muscle Buster but Flair Low Blowed him. The two of them assaulted Joe. The refs ran out to try break things up. Flair taunted Joe and then the champ and Flair exited the ring.
Styles was in the back and ran into Eric Bischoff. Eric was not happy. Eric didn’t want to let Styles to go without letting him know that there would be a special ref. Bischoff put himself into the match as the ref. styles freaked out and called Flair to say “We have a problem!”
Tenay and Taz ran down the updated Against All Odds card. Angle started to leave but Hogan stopped him. Angle said Hogan had bad intentions. Angle said he told Dixie Carter not to trust Hogan. Hogan opened the door and said that Angle show go to the ring because The Band was likely going to be in the building, soon.
Angle was in the ring, calling out The Band. 6-Pac hit the ring and Angle tore him a new one. Angle then went to town on Hall, slapping on the AngleLock. 6-Pac brought out a pair of brass knucks and pounded on Angle. 6-Pac with the D-X Crotch Chop. The Band kept assaulting Angle. Hogan’s music rang out and the leader of TNA strolled down to the ring. Everyone thought Hogan was aligned with The Band. The Band helped Hogan into the ring and they all did the nWo hand touch. Hogan asked The Band to lift Angle. Hogan had the brass knucks. Instead, he nailed Hall and 6-Pac! The crowd exploded. Kurt was stunned at hogan’s actions. Fade to black.
Final Grade: B
Final Thoughts: TNA contines to tread water. I have absolutely no desire to plop down $40 for their show on Sunday. Hogan and his crew really aren’t helping the product, they are killing it. I’ve had mixed feedback. Some people like the changes, but most, like me, liked it better the way it was. TNA is in flux and the next year or so will make or break the company. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
– Jay Shannon