HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
ECW (11/17) Extreme Exam
Our resident philosopher looks at a Homecoming edition of ECW

It was a reunion show, on many levels, this week. ECW came from the home of Extreme, Philadelphia. Also, a former top star in ECW returned home for a one-night stand. In addition, Paul Burchill put his and his sisters’ careers on the line against the mask of The Hurricane.

This Week’s Episode: Sometimes you Can go home again.

C.M. Punk stepped in front of the ECW logo. He got a monster boo from the crowd. Punk talked about getting his start in ECW before becoming a three-time World champion. Punk expected a long, loud standing ovation, the loudest in ECW history. Don’t hold your breath, kid.

The main event was announced: C.M Punk and William Regal v Christian and R-Truth. After that, Zack Ryder and Rosa Mendes walked out together. Rosa and Zack took their own microphones. Zack wanted to introduce the newest Diva, Rosa. Zack just oozed about how great Rosa was. Rosa then went onto a bizarre shopping story that bored everyone, even Zack. Zack wanted Rosa in his corner for his rematch against Shelton Benjamin. Rosa went on another rambling story about Mexican food. Jeez.

Shelton Benjamin then came out to shut the Latina Loudmouth’s weird ramblings. Shelton said he would rather put Zack in the corner and wrestle Rosa. Zack got ticked off. Shelton told Zack he should change his name to “Black and Decker” because he was nothing more than a power tool. Oh, snap. Zack said he didn’t want to fight Shelton, right now. Zack said not to disrespect his girl. Zack then popped Zack and he and Rosa left the ring. Shelton grinned at Zack. Zack better be really worried.

Paul Burchill came out with his sister, Katie Lea Burchill. It was Mask v Career in this battle. Katie looked nervous. ECW ran Hurricane’s great intro.The Emerald Knight emerged from the darkness to bring his brand of justice to the ring.

The Hurricane d Paul Burchill
Mask v Career Match

The Finish:

The two started throwing hard fists. Paul with a kick to the ribs and a bounce off the ropes. Hurricane caught him with the Hurri-Press (Thesz Press). Paul reversed an Irish Whip but took a Back Elbow to the kisser. Hurricane whipped Paul to the corner and then came off the ropes with a Flying Clothesline. Hurricane could only get a two count. Hurricane tried for his Eye of the Hurricane finisher but Paul powered out and hit a off-center Pele Kick. hurricane barely kicked out and Paul screamed in frustration. Hurricane tried, again, for the Eye of the Hurricane but Paul twisted around into a Northern Lights Bridging Suplex for a two plus. Paul called for Katie Lea to help him. Paul sent Hurricane to the corner but got blasted as he charged in. Hurricane mounted the ropes for a Hurancanrana. Paul still kicked out at two. Katie Lea distracted Hurricane, which allowed Paul to shove the masked man into the corner. Paul Jack Hammered Hurricane to the canvas but only got a two count. Paul just couldn’t believe it. Paul set for the Dangerous Buster but Hurricane Floated Over. Hurricane unleashed the Eye of the Hurricane but couldn’t make the pin. When he did, Paul kicked out. Hurricane went to the top rope but got caught. Paul punched away and then climbed the ropes, screaming “I Got Him!”. Hurricane blocked Paul and then hit a Top Rope Flying, Spinning Neckbreaker!

Grade: A

Katie Lea was in total shock as the reality sunk in about her having to leave ECW, along with her brother. Katie seethed at her sibling. The crowd stated singing “Nah Nah Nah Nah Hey Hey Good-bye”. Katie Lea cried as Paul told her that he was sorry.

Jay’s Thoughts: I can only hope that The Burchills get to move over to Raw. Smackdown may have won the honor of being the Top Brand at Bragging Rights, but it still feels like a B-level show. Katie Lea deserves a chance to do something other than play valet to her “brother”.

In the back, Tiffany talked with C.M. Punk. Punk criticized Tiffany for her drinking. Tiffany said she wasn’t a prude. Tiffany told Punk to loosen up and try being a human being. Punk was not impressed.

Lance…sorry…Vance Archer came out for another squash. This week’s victim was Johnny Andrews.

Vance Archer d Johnny Andrews

Vance slapped the taste out of his victim’s mouth and then Power Whipped him into the corner. Vance shoved Johnny into the ring post. Vance slid out of the ring and kicked at Johnny. Vance got back in the ring and punched away at his opponent. Vance hit his version of a Spinning Face Plant. Vance then finished off his poor foe with the Inverted Power Driver DDT.

Grade: C

Jay’s Thoughts: Vance is going to end up in mid-card Hell, I just know it. He just doesn’t have the right feel to become a top star in the WWE. He’ll likely be back in TNA before Wrestlemania.

Josh Mathews and Byron Saxton talked about Survivor Series. Byron pushed how unpredictable the yearly PPV always is. They then ran down the card.

Christian was lacing up his boots when Punk showed up. They talked about both holding the ECW title. Christian wanted to know if Punk was allowed to hold hands with a girl. Christian said Punk wasn’t straight-edged, he was a nerd. Punk got upset at the insult. Punk bragged about being a three-time World champion. Christian reminded Punk that Punk was a champion, while Christian still was. ECW went to break.

Josh sent it to another look at the relationship between the WWE and MSG (Madison Square Garden).

C.M. Punk came out for the main event. He got a less than warm reaction from the Philly crowd. He was joined by his partner, William Regal. It seems strange to see him team with Regal, considering Regal’s past Wellness Program issues. I’m just saying… The two shook hands as Christian’s theme rang out. Christian showed respect to his title by actually wearing the strap. He was joined by the rapmaster of the WWE, R-Truth.

William Regal and C.M. Punk d Christian and R-Truth

The Finish:

Christian tagged in and went to town on Punk. Christian came off the ropes with a Fore-arm Smash and then ran Punk into the corner. Christian nailed the Tornado DDT. Christian turned to pop Regal. Christian with the Morningstar. Christian tried for the KillSwitch, which Punk reversed into a Go-To-Sleep attempt. Christian got free from that and tried for the KillSwitch, again. Punk powered out and shoved Christian to the corner. Punk hit the Elevator Knee on the ECW Champ. Punk tried for the Running Bulldog but Christian stopped and hit the Slop Drop. Regal prevented the pin. R-Truth rushed in and took out Regal with fists and a Dropkick. Christian went for the KillSwitch but Regal nailed a Knee Trembler on the trapped Christian. Punk connected with the GTS to take the win for his team.

Grade: A-

Jay’s Thoughts: Could Punk be heading “home” to ECW? Punk v Christian for the ECW title would definitely raise the interest of fans. Punk would have to see that as a backwards step. ECW really needs a revamping of the top stars. WWE should maybe consider a bi-annual Draft.

Final Grade: B

Final Thoughts: The Burchills are gone. Sheamus is gone. Tyler Reks hasn’t been seen in months on the Black Brand. The WWE couldn’t try harder to kill ECW if they used a machine gun. I really think it’s time for ECW to combine with FCW. When Superstars gets a bigger push than ECW, something is seriously wrong. ECW is turning into a serious joke, which is sad for the poor guys who are doing their best to make the program work.

–Jay Shannon
TheHeadLocker@SBCGlobal.net
(11/18/2009)