HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
The ECW (2/2) Extreme Examination

Our resident philosopher, Jay Shannon, looks at one of the darkest days in the new ECW’s short history.

Vince McMahon made a rare ECW appearance. He had a major announcement that would change the WWE landscape…forever. The dark storm clouds rolled in around him.

This Week’s Episode:The Future Foretold

 

Tony Atlas was introduced. He brought out (sigh) Abraham Washington. Abe was back for another time-wasting edition of The Abraham Washington Show. Abe was set to chat with Christian. Abe said he was NBC’s first choice to replace Conan O’Brien on the The Tonight Show but he turned them down for the WWE Universe. Sure he did. Tony got several good shots in on Abe. Abe said he should ask Vince to get rid of Tony.

 

Abe brought out “Captain Charisma” to a huge roar from the fans. Abe congratulated Christian on his win on Sunday and for being the longest reigning champ in the WWE, currently. Christian looked forward to future challenges. Enter Zack Ryder and Rosa Mendes. Rosa was poured into clingy white dress. Zack made fun of Gregory “Hurricane” Helms’s arrest for a drunk brawl. He brought up the mug shot. Christian suggested Zack was jealous that Helms made it onto TMZ and that both men are on TV but only Helms gets recognized. Snap. Ryder said he was in the Royal Rumble. Christian shot back “I’m Sorry. I blinked. I musta missed it”. Ryder pushed what a disgrace Helms was. Christian said everyone makes mistakes. Tiffany made a mistake giving Abe a talk show. Christian made a mistake being on it. Zack made a mistake when he thought his hair looked cool. Most of all, Zack made a mistake when he hooked uo with “Tia Tequila”. Zack Pie Faced Christian. Christian shoved Zack over the table and onto the couch. Abe closed the show, quickly.

ECW was in Memphis, TN. Shelton Benjamin came out for the first match of the night. He was set to battle his arch-rival, Vance Archer. ECW showed Vance’s attack on Shelton, last week. Vance grinned as he walked to the ring.

Vance Archer d Shelton Benjamin

The Finish:

Vance had Shelton on the match, twisting the arm. Vance pounded on Shelton’s back and then Power Whipped him to the corner. Shelton hit, chest first. Vance stood on Shelton’s chest and then stomped away. Vance with a Suplex. Vance went back to work on the injured arm of Shelton. Vance caught Shelton with a Side Slam. Vance locked up the arm and punched. Shelton kicked up into the head of Vance. Vance with another Power Whip. He missed a Flying Knee.. Shelton Clipped the knee. Shelton with a Powerdriver on the leg. Shelton went for the Stinger Splash but took a Back Elbow. Shelton Floated Over the Suples into a Neckbreaker. Vance sent Shelton to the corner. Shelton went for a Roll-up but they were in the corner. Vance then pinned Shelton with his feet on the ropes. The ref couldn’t possibly have missed that but counted anyway.

Grade: C+

Jay’s Thoughts: These guys are so much better than that. No finisher, just a cheap Foot-on-the-Ropes thing? Come on!

The Raw Rebound focused on Bret Hart’s return to Raw. Batista came out when Bret tried to slap the Sharpshooter on Vince. Batista “gently” beat down the Hitman. After Raw went off the air, John Cena ran down to aid Bret. That footage will air on Smackdown, Friday. I foresee Cena v Batista moving on to Cena v Triple H.

Yoshi Tatsu came out for the next battle. He had Goldust with him. Yoshi faced Trent Barreta. Caylen Croft was at his partner’s side.

Yoshi Tatsu d Trent Barreta

The Finish:

Yoshi fought to his feet and rushed Trent to the corner. Yoshi with a Back Body Drop and a series of kicks. Yoshi with the D-D-E in the corner and tried for the Rolling Bulldog. Trent blocked it and lifted Yoshi. Yoshi shifted his weight and completed the Rolling Bulldog. He followed it up with a Crescent Kick to the chest. Yoshi went up top but got cuaght. Trent wanted a Superplex but was shoved off the ropes. Trent ran the ropes and hit a Hurancanrana. When he didn’t get the pin, Trent argued with the ref, Scott Armstrong. That left the door open for the Cardiac Kid, Yoshi Tatsu, to hit the Buzzsaw Kick. Sayonara, Trent Barreta.

Grade: B+

Jay’s Thoughts: This was ok, but just seemed about a half-step off the pace. Maybe they knew what was coming, next.

Vince McMahon was introduced. The ECW crowd was big-time hostile to the Chairman of the Board. Vince said:

“In 3 weeks time, ECW will be going off the air.“.

He said a new, innovative show would replace it. It was the next Evolution of the WWE. Short, sweet and to the point. I’ve reported on every episode of ECW, except one. I knew this was coming but it was still shocking to hear.

Gregory Helms was in the ring to interview William Regal and Ezekiel Jackson. Regal taunted Helms about his legal troubles. Helms accepted that he made a mistake and was just there to do his job. Regal said it was about to get worse for him. Regal and Jackson attacked Helms. Helms fought back against the two men but Jackson took his out with the Mon-Star Uranage. Regal also hit the Knee Trembler. Christian rushed down with a kendo stick to clear the ring. Regal took a nasty shot with the cane.

Jay’s Thoughts: Wow! WWE is really raking Helms over the coals for his arrest. I wonder if Jericho will get the same treatment. Somehow, I kinda doubt it.

Christian was still waiting in the ring. Zack and rosa then came out.

Christian d Zack Ryder

The Finish:

Zack with the Rear Chin Lock. Christian punched adn slapped away. Zack with the Rough Ryder Leg Lariat. Christian punched Zack and climbed the ropes. Zack caught him, again, and tried for a Superplex. Christian fought back and then Crossbodied Zack. Christian punched away. Zack reveresed an Irish Whip. Zack punched Christian in the corner. Christian with the Flapjack. Christian stood on Zack’s back, forcing his throat into the ropes. Christian hopped over the ropes and Uppercutted Zack. Christian then Missile Dropkicked him again. Zack kicked out at two. Christian with the Springboard Sunset Flip but Zack converted it into the Accordian Pin. Christian kicked out at two. Zack threw Christian into the corner. Christian with the Pendulum Kick and Morningstar. Christian detonated the KillSwitch but ezekiel Jackson and William Regal rushed the ring. They went to teh floor and Regal hit the Knee Trembler. Jackson threw Christian into the steel steps. Fade out.

Grade: B+

Jay’s Thoughts: Not a bad way to end the night. I expect Christian to drop the ECW strap in the next 3 weeks to one of the young guys. That title could be renamed the Future Champions title, or something like that.

Final Grade: B
Final Thoughts: Well, anyone who has read me over the past few months knew I have been talking about ECW’s upcoming elimination. The time is almost here, sadly. I will continue to report on ECW, while it lasts. I will then switch over to whatever Vinny Mac and the boys turn Tuesday nights into. I must admit to being a little sad but life is about change. With all the original ECW guys gone, it seems right to let the old girl die. RIP, ECW, always missed, never forgotten.

– Jay Shannon
TheHeadLocker@SBCGlobal.net
(2/5/10)