HeadLocker — Jay SHannon
My Destination X Predictions

Our resident philosopher breaks out his crystal ball, tea leaves and lucky coin to try and predict the outcomes of TNA’s off-set PPV to Wrestlemania.

Wrestlemania is about a week away. TNA wants to get to the fans first and take their PPV budget for this show. That’s not going to happen but this show will be

pretty decent. It si also going to be pretty predictable. A swerve or two may happen but most of these are far too easy to call. Welcome to WCW circa 2000.

A J Styles v Abyss
TNA World Heavyweight Title Match

Backstory: Ok, Styles teams up with Ric Flair. Abyss aligns himself with Hulk Hogan. Hogan gives Abyss his (Hogan’s) WWE Hall of Fame ring. That sets off one heck of a feud. Flair is ticked off that Hogan would give such a precious piece of jewelry to a bum like Abyss, instead of a stud like Styles. Flair and Styles are determined to get the HoF ring away from Abyss. Styles put his title on the line just to get a chance at The Monster.

Predictions: I have a funny feeling that hte ring is going to come into play. I expect Flair to steal the ring in an Undertaker-like scenario. Abyss will losehis magical powers and Styles will retain. The two will then feud over possession of the ring before Hogan does “The Power has always been inside you” speech and Abyss becomes super-strong and powerful.

Predicted Winner: A.J. Styles
Predicted Grade: B

Generation Me v Motor City Machine Guns
Ultimate X to determine #1 contenders to the tag team titles

Chad and Jeremy…oops sorry…Max and Jeremy Buck (Nick and Matt Jackson) came over to TNA from the NWA. They beat The Guns in their debut match. The two teams have gone back and forth with victories. The winners of this one get a tag title shot against either Morgan/Hernandez or Beer Money.

Predictions:The Guns and Gen-Me are going to steal the show. I’ve seen Max and Jeremy for the last two years go up against somoe of the biggest and baddest (SkullCruckers, Border Patrol, Joey Ryan/”Little” Guido, etc…) in NWA. This one definitely brought out the lucky Fitzgerald’s memorial lucky coin to makethe final choice. I have to go with experience in this one. Sabin and Shelley have done tons of X-Division matches. This is the Bucks’ first one.

Predicted Winners: Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley
Predicted Grade: A+

Rob Terry v.(Brutus) Magnus
TNA Global Championship Match

Backstory: Magnus took exception to Terry winning the Global (former Legends) championship. He tossed Terry out of the British Invasion and the World Elite.Magnus has now challenged the rookie for hte strap.

Prediction: Terry is the next British Bulldog, count on it. This kid is strong, handsome and ready to riot. I think he is going to squash his old partner, easily. Terry is also the star pupil of the Team 3D Academy. I think Magnus is going to try some shenanigans but the Big Man is going to come out on top with a Bulldog Running Powerslam.

Predicted Winner: “Big” Rob Terry
Predicted Grade: B (For British Bulldog, 2010 Edition)

Doug Williams v. Shannon Moore
X-Division Title Match

Backstory: Moore came in with the Hogan regime. THe twisted and tattoed Moore got thrown into the X-Division hunt by Eric Bischoff. Moore started spouting all kinds of cryptic comments. (Thanks to a buddy of mine who explained exactly what DILLIGAF meant).I won’t repeat it here. (smile)

Prediction:Williams is one of the weaker X-Division champions but I think he will survive Sunday with his title intact. I’m expecting him to face off against Kazarian in the next round of matches. That’s when he will drop the strap. Moore will slideinto a follower position, possibly behind Jeff Hardy (assuming Jeff doesn’t get sent to the pokey for his little “issues”).

Predicted Winner: Doug Williams
Predicted Grade: B

Matt Morgan & Hernandez v Beer Money
TNA World Tag Team Championship Match

Backstory: Beer Money is starting a good heel turn. They have followed Eric Bischoff’s orders to go after Jeff Jarrett, which earned them this title shot. Morgan is also getting ready for a nice healthy heel turn. He refused to come to the aid of his partner, Hernandez, during a recent Handicap match. Morgan has also whined and complained about how he is so much better than his partner.

Predictions: Beer Money is going to be your new tag champs by the end of the night. Morgan and Hernandez are on their way to a nasty little feud. Morgan will likely refuse to take the tag and Beer Money will get to double team Hernadnez. I’m hoping for a nice little post-match swerve where Homicide runs out ot help his old LAX buddy. Homicide deserves a face turn and LAX were one of the best teams around.

Predicted Winners: Beer Money, INC (New Champs)
Predicted Grade: B-

Mr. Anderson v. Kurt Angle
Special Challenge Match

Backstory: Angle is pushing his new “All-American, super-support the troops until the audience is ready to hurl day-glo” gimmick. Angle is wearing this big dog-tagged shaped medallion that some widow of a service man supposedly gave him. He’s rolled out all kinds of military guys to try and rebuild his character after going through some personal struggles. Angle is basically sounding, for all the world, like Jimmy Swaggert when he talks about how he has followed the wrong path. What–the—Hell—Ever! Anderson, thankfully, comes out and states what half the crowd wants to say “Shut the Hell up and wrestle, already”. They’ve had a few battles where Kurt’s little trinket has sliced and diced the foremeads of each man.

Prediction: Don’t get me wrong. I live in a military town and support these brave men and women as much as possible. I just take offense to having it shoved down my throat. For that reason, I want to see Anderson decimate Angle. Unfortunately, that ain’t gonna happen. Angle is going to end up all bloody and look certain for annihilation. He is then going to draw on the magic of that goofy dog-tag thing and rebound to take out Anderson with the AngleSlam…or Hell rename it the ArmySlam or the All-American Slam.

Predicted Winner: Mr. America 2010 Kurt Angle
Predicted Grade: A (for America –of course)

Tara v Daffney
Knockout Championship Match

Backstory: Daffney gets a push after several of the top Knockouts left or got injured (KOng, Roxxi, ODB, etc…) She went all Psycho Princess on Tara and beat the daylights out of her. Daffney then cost Tara and Angelina Love the TNA Knockout title. Tara wants revenge, in the worst way.

Prediction: I’m actually a bit torn on this one. In the real world, Tara should make short work of Miss Zombie Hot. However, she is one of Hogan’s crew so it would make sense to put the strap on her. I think if Hogan and gang want to save face, this one ends in a DQ. I’d even put the twist in that it is Tara that snaps and gets disqualified. That could set up a nasty cage match at Lockdowno and/or a no-DQ battle from Hell at Slammiversary. So that;s how I’m going to call this one.

Predicted Winner: Daffney (by DQ), Tara retains her title
Predicted Grade: C

Eric Young & Kevin Nash v Scott Hall & Sean “6-Pac” Waltman
Win a Contract or get the heck out of Dodge match

Backstory: Ok, Hall and Waltman, aka the Toxic Twins (nod to Aerosmith), decide to jump on the HOgan bandwagon and return to TNA. They “shock the wrestling world” by turning on Nash and beating the crap out of him. Eric Young, Nash’s little buddy, jumps in the middle of the fight. The stipulations of this match are if Hall and Pac win, they get TNA contracts. If they lose, Waltman goes back to AAA and Hall goes back to rehab…err…indy wrestling.

Prediction: Ok, a blind man could see this one coming. I can do that analogy because I am legally blind, thankyouverymuch. Eric is serously going to get screwed in this match. The Band is going to reunite and Nash is going to take the dive. I could even see a “fingeroke of Doom” where Hall taps Nash in the chest and Nash drops like a ton of mud, only to have Hall take the super-easy pin. It will then be revealed that the attack on Nash was all a ruse to set this up to get The Band back together again.

Predicted Winenrs: Hall and Waltman
Predicted Grade: F

Kazarian vs. Daniels vs. Amazing Red vs. Brian Kendrick
Ladder Match

Backstory: Kazarian finally ditched the Suicide skull mask and Superman wanna-be outfit to return to TNA. He came back as Kazarian instead of Kaz. Guess TNA didn’t want a Taz v Kaz confusion. Whatever. Anyway, Kendrick recently landed in TNA after getting the boot from WWE. Red and Daniels have returned from some time off to lay claim to the X-title. Well, actually, Daniels got tired of running around the a curry plate on his head and got rid of Curry Man to return as Daniels.

Predictions: This match is going to seriously rock. All four men are fantastic. Kazarian is getting the top push, right now, so I expect him to take the win. All four are going to come close but Kid Lightning is going to strike and earn a shot at the X-Division title, again.

Predicted Winner: Kazarian
Predicted Grade: A

Final Grade: B-

Final Thoughts: The X-Division is going to carry this show, no doubt. Most of Hogan’s boys are going to seriously drag down the product to an old episode of WCW Saturday Night. Hall and Pac are a horrible addition to the mix. Abyss and Styles didn’t have enough time to really build that feud. This one doesn’t look great but it will be a nice alternative to the over-priced Wrestlemania.

–Jay Shannon
Jade89512@yahoo.com
?03/20/2010)