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WRESTLING COLUMNS

The Worst is Yet to Come!
September 3, 2003 - by Brendan Falconer


Like in all the worst horror movies, you wake up from a nightmare and realize it was true all along!

This is really going to suck! Really suck! What is? I'll tell you... The next couple of months of WWE TV.

'So what's new in that?', you counter, 'It already sucks.' And you'd probably be right. But let's face it here, all indicators are that on Smackdown! we're going to have a long-running feud between Undertaker and Vince McMahon. If that weren't bad enough we've got to face the realization that Goldberg is going to be the new World Heavy-weight Champion on RAW!!!

Read my lips here, this is a bad thing.

I'd been foolish enough to let my guard down and think things were looking up lately. Kane's angle was bearable, Angle is on top form, Tajiri's getting a push, Scott Steiner curtain-twitched HEAT... All was looking good. But you can count on the creative team at Titan Towers to shatter such peace.

I know that there's no real way to say 'No Vince, that's f***ing stupid, stay off TV for a while.' But even he's going to realize it's not helping his product when he's all over it, even all over RAW now, which had escaped him for a time.

Big Mark versus Vinnie Boy is hardly great TV at the best of times, but with seven weeks until the next Smackdown PPV I really fear for the weekly show. As if having Sable on there wasn't bad enough...

Bill Goldberg (Now wash your mouth out!) has finally gotten over... Slightly... After the Elimination Chamber at Summerslam. And that's all the company needed to decide that he gets the title. It's not exactly a respected belt anyway, so why in the blue hell are they going to give it to a man who'll be even worse at defending it that HHH? Are they hoping to draw back some old WCW fans? There's people far more deserving of the top spot; Jericho, Kane, Test, Ivory... The lighting guy... That dude in seat #134! Anyone but Goldberg!!! I don't give two tugs of a dead dog's cock who else you want to give it to, don't give it to the three-move wonder!

The WWE is at present just patching short-term solutions to a bigger problem, they want to rebuild ratings but don't seem to know how, hoping that by hiring in a load of old guys they'll bring back the fans. Throw it at a wall and see what sticks, not a lot apparently... Still there's always us die-hard's who'll watch any old tripe they half-heartedly pour out for us.

Observation of the week: After watching HEAT, where Steiner has his best match in ages and still reeks of crap and steroids. Why pay him the thousands they have when they've got Val Venis, who can do everything Steiner can, far better, for longer and is really damn good in the ring?

This week's cynicism and venomous outburst by Brendan Falconer, not Vincent K. McMahon's best friend!


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