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WRESTLING COLUMNS

I GOTTA SAY THIS
Wrestling HODGE PODGE Comments
April 6, 2004 - by Brad Dykens

As RAW was coming to a close this week, I was thinking "Hey I haven't seen Stone Cold yet." and realized that he'd probably show up right at the very end to save the day. But the show ended without a Stone Cold Beer Bash. I thought about the show and realized that there really wasn't any mention of him at all! I find it very interesting that Austin was missing just a week after he was involved in an alleged domestic dispute at his home in San Antonio, which saw police come to his residence. I'm probably reading too much into this anyway but where the hell was he?

The most bizarre feeling overpowered me at the beginning of RAW when La Resistance came out waving Quebec flags instead of French flags and Jim Ross pretended like they were from Quebec all along. Uhhhh hello? We're not stupid! We notice things! They should change their name from La Resistance to La Referendum.

If the WWE writing team is made up of four people, I just know there is one guy in there who is like really annoying and pushes his ideas until they are used (HHH anyone?). Sometimes there are just bonehead decisions made in WWE storylines that just piss me off. Chris Benoit is now being billed from Atlanta, Georgia! What the hell! Being from Edmonton was practically his gimmick, is it that hard for the company to have a Canadian champion? I'm not sure if Benoit really did relocate to Atlanta or what, but even if he did, he's FROM Edmonton and should be billed from Edmonton throughout his career. Especially when he is scheduled to headline the next Pay Per View, which takes place in Edmonton! IDIOTS!

In the same breath, other WWE wrestlers have fell victim to changes of hometowns recently. Chris Jericho, who is from Winnipeg, Manitoba, is now being announced as being from Manhatten, New York, which is where he was born, but STILL; Nidia is billed from Puerto Rico, and Gail Kim, who lives in Toronto Canada and made her return this week is now being billed from Korea -- what the hell do they have against Canadians anyway? What's next?... Introducing next, from Japan, weighing 285lbs, Test! There was an article on WWE.com the other day with Gail Kim & William Regal and they seemed to be a tad anti-American, which lead a few people to believe that they may be starting up that storyline once again, who knows.

I was absolutely thrilled to see "Eugene" debut this week. For those of you who don't know, Eugene is actually OVW mainstay Nick Dinsmore. He's been in OVW for a long time with a developmental contract and I was getting worried because it seemed difficult to find him a decent gimmick. But I think this simpleton gimmick will suit him really well. I wish Nick Dinsmore all the luck in the world, and recommend he find some old tapes of Mighty Igor from the 70s.

Welcome back William Regal! Damn I've missed you! I just wish you were fit to wrestle because you could headline any show with Chris Benoit. William Regal is pretty well done with his wrestling career and will most likely focus on an on-air personality roll as manager or General Manager kiss-up. He returned this week as the manager of the aforementioned Eugene character, which should make for some entertaining television.

Tajiri was a leading heel over on Smackdown!, and all of a sudden he's switched to RAW and he's automatically a babyface? It's things like that that makes WWE not believable. I hope Akio & Sakoda get a fair shake over on SD!, more on that later.

Shelton Benjamin has been a major surprise since joining the RAW roster. They have really decided to push him to the sky. He has had TWO awesome matches with Triple H so far and looks to be getting better by the week. It's about time Triple H start using his star-power to elevate NEW stars. There is even talk of making the main event at Backlash a 4-WAY, adding Shelton Benjamin to the mix. I just wish Charlie Haas was getting the same push on Smackdown!, more on that later.

So Mick Foley is returning for a Hardcore match against Randy Orton. Why is Orton so afraid? After all he IS a two-time OVW Hardcore Champion! --- seriously!

Lance Storm continues to get screwed on RAW, he said it best the week after the draft; he should have been drafted or traded to Smackdown!, where he could have a fresh start. He'd probably just get screwed over there too. Lance Storm could be a superstar; he should be in a tag team with Rob Van Dam, or facing old ECW Alumni in 15-minute matches on pay per view. Every time you see him you think "Okay this is the final straw, now they're going to build him up!" but nope! Then right back to poor old screwable Lance Storm. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Storm would be a main-eventer in TNA and become a major player in wrestling again. He should get his dignity back and say "F-U Vince!" and quit ASA-frickin-P!

Edge made what I would call, a boring return to WWE. I was a huge fan of Edge before his injury, but all he does now is spear, spear, spear. Did he forget all his other moves? Maybe he'll get back into it when he has a complete match, but I'm not sure Kane is the best program for him to start off.

Smackdown!'s big experiment isn't sitting too well with a lot of fans. Bradshaw was turned monster heel on a dime when he chose his job over his friendship with Farooq (Ron Simmons) who was fired both on Television, and two days later in real life. Bradshaw did a complete 180 on his gimmick and is now feeding off his financial resume to fuel his heel character. I personally love it, Bradshaw's beer drinkin' Texan shtick was getting older than HHH's ring entrance (which is about as stale as it gets by WWE standards). Bradshaw is getting pushed straight to the top with an immediate shot at the WWE title, most likely on PPV. He won't win, but it will make for a good storyline with Eddy Guerrero, whose list of potential challengers has greatly depleted recently. WWE needs to keep their champions strong with long reigns, and multiple challengers. Bradshaw is A-OK for now, but his push will fizzle out fast!

Someone who just presses my buttons is The Undertaker, who made a spectacular return at Wrestlemania as the Deadman, and then made a brief appearance on Smackdown! to take out Paul Heyman. And now he's disappeared again? He's going house show's again and it looks like he'll be starting a feud with Booker T. I'm just not happy with Undertaker's character right now, but that would change in a matter of days.

The Dudley Boyz; When Spike got drafted to Smackdown!, two things came to mind; 1) Oh my god they're taking his away from his brothers! 2) Awesome, Spike in the Cruiserweight division! Well the first thing was cancelled when DVon & Bubba were traded over to Smackdown!. Spike was immediately put into a feud with Cruiserweight champion Chavo Guerrero, and they had a really great match. The main reason I want the Dudleyz to remain on the same roster is because I think WWE could turn a lot of heads by recreating the old ECW Dudley feud by turning DVon & Bubba heel, and have Spike bring in distant Dudley family members for a big family feud.

That would be VERY cool to see in the WWE. Imagine Nova Dudley! Alexis (Laree) Dudley! Lamont Dudley! They seem silly but the characters in ECW were silly and they rocked! Too bad Big Dick Dudley has passed away he'd be dynamite.

I recently read that the Big Show is feeling the effects of all the wear and tear on his body lately. If you think about it, he's been full-time for over a year without any significant time off. I'm sure he's trying to work through the pain just because the roster needs him, but I think he should take some time off to get his energy back and return refreshed.

The Cruiserweight division is stacked with the most potential that it's ever had! Chavo Guerrero is a great champion, but why is he facing Rey Mysterio every week? He had a great match with Spike Dudley recently, so why aren't Akio, Sakoda, Nunzio, Billy Kidman, Ultimo Dragon, Shannon Moore and especially Paul London getting Cruiserweight exposure?!? Why are they holding back on Paul London, he's a rocket ship ready to take off. Why are the holding off on a major Kidman/London vs Akio/Sakoda feud?! That match better be on the next Smackdown! pay per view in June, or else! Shannon Moore was getting his ass handed to him by Paul Heyman and his goons a few months ago and should really be rewarded with a few title shots! I think the Cruiserweight division is great, but can be SO MUCH greater if they just give it some attention!

It seems like roster cuts have come often lately, let me give my thoughts on who should be released: Billy Gunn (stale, has nowhere to go), Orlando Jordan (needs to get beat up on the indy scene for a while), Johny Stamboli (no explanation necessary), Test (hasn't been good for a while), Stacy Keibler (i hate her), Scott Steiner (seriously, where else can you go with this?), Mark Henry (12 gimmicks that didn't get over), Rodney Mack (injury prone, not ready), Shaniqua (not WWE material), Jacqueline (paid to sit at home?).

I'm all for equal opportunity employment so I have a list of people I'd like to see hired to the WWE as well; Tony Mamaluke (reform the REAL FBI with Nunzio), Steve Corino (a US star waiting to happen), Kid Kash (he's good in TNA, but would be great in WWE), Bobby Rude (Canadian favourite)..

I read two VERY interesting rumors surrounding the debut of Japanese star Kenzo Suzuki in the WWE. The first rumor was that he'd basically take Tajiri's spot and be the leader of Akio & Sakoda, which is okay, but it's not great. The really neat idea I heard tossed around is to have Funaki turn heel and manage Kenzo Suzuki on Smackdown!. It would be fun to see Funaki in a different roll, and just wait until you hear just how well he can speak English!

The last thing I'd like to touch on is the television departure of the GREAT Paul Heyman. I reckon it's a good idea for WWE performers, especially those who do not wrestle, to take time off to refresh themselves and come back with something new. Paul Heyman is a genius and is not being used to his fullest potential. There was a rumor going around about starting up the ECW brand again, and giving them a 1-hour show on Television and having Paul Heyman be the General Manager. I think it would be a fantastic idea. As long as they don't go into it thinking it will compete with RAW & Smackdown!. Each brand has its own b-show; RAW has HEAT and SD! has Velocity. Well on Saturday night we have VELOCITY & CONFIDENTIAL on Spike for two hours, but on Sunday we only have one hour of HEAT; I suggest they put ECW on for an hour after Sunday Night Heat. Paul Heyman could run the show in a babyface roll, and the roster would include Tommy Dreamer, The Dudleyz (all 3), Stevie Richards, Lance Storm, Rhyno, Tajiri, A-Train, Orlando Jordan, Chuck Palumbo, Hardcore Holly, Rico, Nunzio, Rodney Mack, Dawn Marie and Gail Kim with Joey Styles and YES Joey Styles on Commentary. Also bring in Tony Mamaluke (to team with Nunzio), Justin Credible (to team with Lance Storm), Joey Mathews & Christian York, Roadkill & Danny Doring, and last but not least Jerry Lynn!

by Brad Dykens


Brad Dykens added:
Since I wrote this, I've read that Steve Austin went into contract negotiations with the WWE and they hit a snag and surprisingly Austin may not be back any time soon. It's completely unrelated to his issues at home, but due to he and Vince McMahon not coming to a comprimise on a contract. It seems Vince McMahon wants a piece of any action Austin may get outside of the WWE, and Austin wants to be independent..
Manfo44 wrote:
I will have to disagree with you on that about Triple H's entrance. Triple H probably has the greatest entrance in the buisness today. No one else has a great entrance, or an entrance for that matter.
Brad Dykens wrote:
I remember when I first saw Triple H's entrance, I was blown away. It was SO awesome. Looking back, the first time he did that entrance, he was coming back from his big quad injury which kept him out of action for half a year. The date....... January 7, 2002! Over two years ago, roughly 800 days ago. Now if my calculations are correct (and they are cause I used a calculator) that is about 114 episodes of RAW, plus 30 more for the RAWs that he came out TWICE, throw in 30 episodes of Smackdown! before the roster split, plus about 26 pay per views, and we'll guestimate 1 house show per week (114) --- so a grand total of 314 times that he's done the EXACT same entrance with no variations. That's the OWW definition of STALE!
wrote:

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