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WRESTLING COLUMNS

The Latest Viruses To Attack Wrestling Fans Computers
August 24, 2003 by Christopher Nadjek


****Disclaimer- These are not real viruses, this is a spoof, a parody, a joke, maybe not a funny one, but none the less its not real.. Any questions, comments or Vida Guerrera photos can be sent to crcito@hotmail.com...

With a major SoBig virus going around infecting computers across the country, I did some research and found out about a new string of computer viruses named after pro wrestling personalities, so beware, and update your virus protectors to make sure you're protected.

Vince McMahon Virus- When this virus is contracted, it attaches itself to every program on your computer. Regardless of what you try to use on your hard drive the Vince McMahon virus is now a part of the program. Norton, McAfee and several other virus scanning systems are working day and night to find a removal for this virus but at this point there is no hope in site. This virus isn't new, and has in fact been around for a long time, but somehow is a stronger virus than many of the newer, younger viruses that have come out recently.

Triple H Virus- A very annoying virus indeed if contracted. This virus finds its way into your computer and attaches itself to the biggest and best program you have on you hard drive, and prevents any other programs from being able to be used on your system. Apparently it convinces the operating system on your computer that without this virus, it can no longer run successfully.

Kevin Nash Virus- This one is strange in that it finds its way into your system, but it never works the way the makers had hoped, so it's not much to really worry about except it will on occasion slow up some other programs.

Vince Russo Virus- This one just takes all the programs on your computer and mixes them up and tricks you into thinking you're using one program while actually using another. So if you open up Microsoft Word, and type up a long letter, or book report, by the end of the report about, lets say, the solar system, your printer will actually print out a book report about the Grand Canyon... and a picture of a topless woman.

The Hulk Hogan Virus- This is the smartest virus to ever be developed. Just when you figure out a way to remove it from your computer, it disappears on its own, leaving a small file you'll never detect that months down the road will prompt you to download new software from a website in order for your stem to continue working properly, once you do this, the Hogan virus attaches itself to that software and takes over your system once again, and the cycle continues forever., and ever and ever and ever...

Jim Cornette Virus- The difference between this virus and all the others is this one actually means well. When this virus is contracted on your computer it takes the newest, most unadvanced files and programs on your computer and makes them work properly, upgrading your system basically, but as soon as the Vince McMahon virus makes its way onto your system, it ruins all the work the Cornette virus has put in on your system.

by Christopher Nadjek


wrote:

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