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WRESTLING COLUMNS

OWW Editorial: The J to the T
November 26, 2005 by James Thomlison


Hello all, my name is James "JT" Thomlison, and as some of you may have noticed, I have taken over some of the editing duties here at OWW. Although, considering I edit 1 column to every 63 that Kirsty does, it seems odd to me that I would be labeled as Co-Editor. I think a more appropriate term would be "1/63rd Editor". Either way, I'm more than happy to help out, and in return for my "contributions", I've been rewarded with this month's editorial, which if I'm not mistaken, is late even as I sit here typing this. Fortunately, I know where Brad lives, and thus firing me is completely out of the question. Never mind the fact that 1200 miles and an entire country separate us.

But before I dive into who I am, and my thoughts on various things pertaining to the world of wrestling, I have a job to do! That job is to remind you - the loyal readers - of all the wonderfully talented columnists and contributors we have here, and that you should be reading them.

By the way, I hope you aren't busy, because it will take you at least fifteen minutes to read this column. No, make that twenty. Actually, make it thirty. I believe that's fifteen minutes past the standard set time for "fame". Hey, it's my only column, I have to cover everything, right?

First off, here's a little advice for all of you who write articles for websites. When plugging things, make sure you ALWAYS plug your boss first; in this case, BRAD DYKENS, who had an excellent column as always. See what I did there people? This does two things. First, it has them thinking "I like this" before they even read it, and it also allows you more leeway in your column because their ego is too distracted by the compliment. Here's another helpful hint. Do your own HTML work. Trust me, no matter what your boss / editor / 'person in charge' tells you, HTML is a bitch, and they will love you for it.

Rob Orchard chimed in with his run-down on the career of Eddie Guerrero. It's a very nicely done piece that fills in the gaps for some of you who may not have known Guerrero until later in his career. Everybody seems to have their two cents on the subject, and I'm no different. More on that later.

Calv R. also gave us some goodness, explaining why he feels Eddie Guerrero is the greatest Mexican wrestler of all time. He makes a very strong case, and due to my limited knowledge on the history of Mexican wrestling / wrestlers, I'd have to say I agree. If nothing else, it can definitely be said he was the most "successful" Mexican wrestler of all time.

As we all know, the WWE is not the only wrestling promotion. No no, there are plenty. One is such TNA, and their X-Division was the subject of Peter Le's submission to OWW. A quick little read that introduces us to some of the main players in the X-Division. It's a big help to anyone who may be new or may not be familiar with TNA, and it's roster.

Scott Bimms compares old school wrestling vs. new age sports entertainment. Admittedly, I'm not nearly as picky as Scott, but the article was nicely done, and a little trip down nostalgia lane is always fun.

Let me tell you all something. Randy Orton should never, EVER be forced into the face role again by WWE management (more on that later). One day, when he finally does go face, it needs to be because the FANS decided it was time, not McMahonagement. Justin Pulanski agrees that Randy Orton is a heel, and you should go read (and agree) with him. Cut him some slack on his 'setting a casket on fire' comments. Apparently, he hasn't been with us that long.

John Edwards article on Legends or Icons? got some of biggest numbers of feedback that I have ever seen in my short time here with OWW. Lots of feedback = good read. Do the math people, and give it a go. FYI John, when leaving Ric Flair off lists like this, and also STATING that Ric Flair will PURPOSELY be left of said list, be prepared to duck, because crap will get thrown at you. Personally, though, I saw exactly where John was coming from, whether I agree or not.

Adrian Cotton needed to vent about perceptions, if you will, and I really enjoyed his article. He makes very interesting points, and by all means people, like he said, leave the X-division alone!

But we don't just take submissions here, we have columnists too!

Official columnist John Simmons hits us with the good, the bad, and the downright ugly that was the Tough Enough experiment. I have to say I agree with most of the points that he made. Who knows what the hell they were thinking with Morgan? One point I think he left out (unless I'm forgetting) is that once it went from being a thirty minute reality television show to taking up 20 minutes of my wrestling time on TV every week, interest dropped like an anvil. Nobody wants to see Diva Searches and Tough Enough challenges crapping up our televisions (although, somehow the DS segments are always the highest rated of the show... ...men).

Columnist Joe L has decided not to retire, and I'm glad he did because he contributed his thoughts on the Big Red Machine: Kane aka Glenn Jacobs. I completely agree with Joe in everything he said about the travesty that is Kane over the last couple of years. Talk about a guy deserving a title shot... correction, title REIGN. I can only think of about three wrestlers on the entire roster that deserve a shot and / or reign more than him. Sadly, he remains relegated to jobbing and deflated pushes.

Many people have different opinions on the brand split, and most recently, the RAW vs. SD! feud. Columnist Antonio Figueroa finds it to be a good thing (both the split and the feud), and I happen to agree. I mean, seriously, no offense to Trips, because I think he gets a lot of unnecessary crap slung his way, but do we really need him giving twenty minute promos on BOTH shows every week?

Columnist Colm Kearns takes a look at the history of the Intercontinental Title (Part 1 and Part 2). Despite the fact that a lot of people think the IC title has fallen from grace, I still find it to be one of the most legitimate and respected titles in the entire industry. Be sure to check back in and catch part 3 (and possibly 4, I'm not sure).

For most of us, the passing of Eddie Guerrero was a dark and nasty reminder in this sport, one we see far too often. Columnist Johnny Larue echoes those sentiments, and explains how Eddie Guerrero may have saved his life.

Somebody actually defending the Boogeyman? That's right, folks. Columnist Landon Beck took on the tumultuous task of trying to convince people that the Boogeyman has the potential to be a big-time superstar. Now, personally, I can't stand the character or the thought of him every being in a WWE ring. But that's just me. My personal opinion does not take away from the fact this is a well written article, and it is very hard to argue with Landon's logic. Go read it!

He may have snapped. He may be psycho. He may be racist. He may be homophobic. But the fact is that the Ultimate Warrior is one of the most over wrestlers in history. He also happens to be my favorite of all time (although he has some people close on his tail and chasing). Columnist Avi Krebs takes a look at the man behind the mask ...er paint... er... oh just go read him!

Whew... pimpin' ain't easy!

Now that you know where to go AFTER you read my column (what, no shameless self plugging allowed?), let's get back on track. As I said before, my name is James "JT" Thomlison. I am 25 years old, and I underwrite bonds for a Bail Bonds company in Swartz Creek, Michigan. I love wrestling, and I love football. I also love flirting with Kirsty, but she's married, so shhhhhh. Lucky for me though, should her husband ever take offense to my playful advances, I have hired a very large bodyguard. He goes by the name of Atlantic Ocean. When not making passes at married women, I'm a columnist over at 411mania.com, where I cover ByteThis!... I'll pause until you finish laughing... ...done? Good. I also co-host (with my good buddy JP) the most positive article to ever hit the IWC, Hidden Highlights, where we take a look at all the little things you may have missed that make the product great. I cover some other stuff for the Movies and Sports Zone's there, but there's no need for that here!

If this wasn't my first column, it would be no secret that I'm am a HUGE mark for Christian. I am, in fact, quite possibly the biggest Christian mark on the entire planet. There's been a lot of news with him recently, so I'll start with that. I'm going to look back at the events leading up to last Saturday's episode of TNA Impact!, whilst sharing my boring and wit-less thoughts on the situation.

September 4th, 2001 - Christian officially begins his singles career. I officially begin my markdom. We will now skip forward because for the next 3 years, he had a relatively decent stature in the mid-card, and he spent it honing his craft, hoping to eventually hit main-event status.

WrestleMania XX, 2004 - turned on his best friend, and got a bodyguard, solidifying his full-blown heel status (which was already there anyway). One he would have for the rest of his WWE career.

November 2004 - Something strange started happening. All of a sudden, we started seeing more "Captain Charisma" jackets. We started hearing this new theme song. We started hearing less boos and more pops. We started seeing my "peeps" signs. Oh no... was Christian, this big pric of a heel, starting to get over? Yes, the chain of events had finally be set in motion.

January 2005 - April 2005 - Christian continued to get more and more over, and despite being heel, was seemingly one of the more popular characters in the entire E. He even came close to winning the 6-man Money In the Bank Ladder Match at WrestleMania 21. I'm glad he didn't though, because it would have been due to Tomko, and not clean.

May 2005 - The push "seemingly" continued, as he cut some excellent promos on Mr. Cena, and pushed (excuse the pun) for a major move to SmackDown! (where at the time, John Cena was champion).

June 2005 - October 2005 - ...where do I start? Cena gets drafted to RAW. Okay, so they're on the OTHER show, but they're still on the same show. I can deal with it. Then, thrown into a three way with Cena and Jericho. Alright, there's another man in the mix, but you're there. As we all remember, he lost that match. Then, what happens? Drafted to SmackDown! while Jericho gets the one on one. We're still okay, you can get a fresh start on SD!. What happens next? Goes to SmackDown!, gets pinned in his debut match, gets jobbed to the Champion (in a NON title match I might add), has his push completely ripped from under him, and spends the next three months jobbing and getting pinned in tag matches (call it biased if you want, but it's the truth).

November 2005 - Declines a contract from WWE. Due to the no 90-day compete clause, signs with TNA within the week.

November 13, 2005 - Debuts at TNA Genesis with an amazing promo, and immediately inserts himself into the World Heavyweight Title scene.

November 19, 2005 Debuted on TNA Impact!, cutting a great promo with Monty Brown, and setting up his first match at the next Pay-Per-View, Turning Point (December 11th).

Now, most of the people... no, EVERYBODY who knows about me being the biggest mark ever, so when the news of his departure hit, I got numerous emails with "are you okay" and "you'll live, it'll be alright". Now, while these were all in good fun, but the fact is, they were all right. I welcomed the change. Let's face it, he was going nowhere in the E, and despite being possibly the most OVER guy in the E (okay, sans Cena and a few others) at one point, his push was going to continue to lay dead and unmoving.

Let me give you some stats people, because in every good marking out rant lies facts:

Singles Match Record in 2005: 3 - 9 (with two of his wins being unclean, and the third being on Velocity)

Tag Team and / or Multiple Person Matches in 2005: 2 - 21 (with one of the two wins being unclean)

That's a combined record for 2005 of 5 - 30.

In over half of the tag / multiple person matches, Christian was the one pinned.

Despite this, he was one of the most over guys on the ENTIRE roster...

And people wonder why he left...

Let's review:

- Spent an entire year jobbing and having his push killed despite the fact that people LOVED him.

VS.

- Has since debuted with TNA, is one of the top five over guys (don't believe that, go watch Genesis or Impact) in the company, and is headed towards a well-deserved push.

Truth be told, I couldn't be happier for the guy. He is financially set, lives 90 minutes from the Impact! Zone, and has to make only multiple appearances a month. I'm especially happy for him because he recently (as far as I understand) had a child. All in all, GOOD FOR HIM!!! Not only is his lifestyle much easier and more accommodating, he is helping an upstart (okay, you know what I mean) promotion show people there is an alternative.

...I promise, if you keep reading, there is actual wrestling discussion not involving my favorite wrestler.

There. I feel better. Now that I've gotten all necessary marking out of the way, can we finally get to some actual wrestling talk? Yes, kiddies, we sure can.

The biggest news of last week was obviously the passing of WWE Superstar Eddie Guerrero. What can you say after all that's been said? Well, not much, but that doesn't mean I can't give it the old college try. First, I will share (in italics) some of what I said over in the "other website I work for's" staff forum (hey, can't be promoting somebody else THAT much), and add in a little more since it was over a week ago:

"You'll notice over the course of the next week or so that any mention in my articles concerning this has been very, very brief. No, I was not saving up a big speech to submit here. The fact of the matter is that I just plain did not want to get into it. I am in a bad way about this, and what frustrates me even more is that nobody else can seem to understand why.

My parents, my friends, everybody who isn't a wrestling fan says the same thing, "He was on TV, and that's it. It's not like you knew him". Well, that is wrong. Completely untrue. The thing about these wrestlers is that we do feel like we know them. We know more about them than we do about people in any other media outlet. Yes, we may get information pertaining to other celebrities, but I will never feel closer to Vin Diesel because I know he just bought a new house. I will never feel closer to Latrell Sprewell because I know he has a auto customization shop. With wrestlers, on the other hand, this simply is not the case... especially with Eddie Guerrero. We knew about everything. His growing up in the business, his battles with drugs and other demons, his mental instability when he was the champ, his friendships with Benoit and others, the reconciliation with his wife, leading to the eventual happy family they had become. And most importantly, we knew that he did all of it, every show, every drop of sweat and blood, every bump, all for us. To say that all we are looking at are actors who happen to be athletic is absurd, and to be honest, insulting. We are looking at human beings. Human beings that we have grown to know and love. One such man is Eddie Guerrero.

I remember the first match of Eddie Guerrero's I ever saw. November 6, 1995. Almost 10 years to the exact day he died. It was Monday Nitro and his opponent was, fittingly enough, Chris Benoit. Here was this young, fresh, athletic guy who could really wrestle. I enjoyed Eddie in his WCW days, and I continued to enjoy him in the WWE. When he won his first and only Championship, I remember being so happy for him because of all the odds he had overcome. I then felt so unhappy for him when he just wasn't able to handle the pressure of carrying the belt. For months now, he's been telling Vince, Steph, anybody who would listen, that he was finally ready for another chance. He was ready to shine. It appeared that this Friday night, they were going to let him prove it. Sadly, this is a sight we will never get to see. The passing of Eddie Guerrero has affected us all in our own way, and for me, it wasn't a good one."

...and then of course came RAW and SmackDown! last week. You know, I told myself I was going to be strong in this situation. I thought "Eddie would want you to enjoy the show, no matter the content and / or context". I told myself I wasn't going to cry, because in this time where EVERYbody was crying, SOMEbody had to be the rock.... right? Somebody had to show Eddie (as he watched us all from above) that it was not all hurt and pain. Show him that we could remember the good and that it could be our beacon in this time of loss. That we could recall all of the positives and appreciate what he gave us, despite the fact he's no longer here... somebody had to, didn't they? Well, that aforementioned strength lasted about 17 seconds into RAW. I saw all these giants; these heroes, these big strong tough guys all up there crying their eyes out over the loss of their fallen comrade, and I lost it. And it would be far from over there. I lost it during the tribute video. I lost it listening to Chris Benoit. I lost it listening to JBL. I lost it when they showed the Benoit / Eddie moment from WrestleMania XX. I just plain lost it. If tears are really healthy for you, I certainly got my work out last week.

...Thank you, Eddie. Thank you for risking life and limb for me. Thank you for changing your life around, allowing you to be one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. Thank you for giving all of your blood, sweat, and tears for me. Thank you for entertaining me. Thank you for everything... I will miss you greatly; my thoughts and prayers are with your wife, children, family, and friends.

R.I.P Eddie Guerrero: 1967 - 2005

Image hosted by Photobucket.com


Of course, as everybody has said, the show must go on, and of course, Eddie Guerrero is not the only member of the professional wrestling business, which means I've got a whole lot more to cover.

I promise AGAIN, if you keep reading, there is discussion of wrestling not involving my favorite wrestler or the tragic death of another.

First off, let me warn people that not only am I non-witty, I like to rant! And there is certainly ranting going to go on, because" well, I'll get to that...

Secondly, keep in mind that I DO like the WWE product. Love it in fact. There are just things that I agree with, and maybe don't agree with. Please do not let anything I say lead you to believe I do not like the WWE, because I do. Now, if I say "The Boogeyman is a piece of crap and I can't stand him", feel free to take that at face value.

....The Boogeyman is a piece of crap and I can't stand him...

Oh joy. It's Monday night, RAW is over, and I'm not sober enough to finish this column" but I'm not drunk enough to NOT finish it. Lucky YOU..... Okay, not so lucky you. After deliberated with my subconscious, I decided that it would definitely be better to wait, rather than going on a drunk-ed ramble (not that it wouldn't have been enjoyable, but I'm debuting here!). Man, where to start.

Well, obviously we have Survivor Series this Sunday, and just because I'm going, that doesn't mean I can't bitch and complain where I see fit.

**WRITERS NOTE** I had this in on Saturday, November 26th. So if this goes up AFTER Survivor Series, I am not a jackass, and you can feel free to blame Brad.

First and foremost, we all know that Davari has returned to WWE television. While I'm happy for Davari, what I'm not happy about is his involvement in the main event between Kurt Angle and John Cena. You see, my hopes, my dreams, my everything, was all tied into the fact that I was going to enter Joe Louis Arena, and watch Kurt Angle get that ugly ass belt off my TV. Now, with Davari acting as "special referee", there's no way in hell that happens. What the hell? Is John Cena THAT great??? Must we continue to let him run through the entire roster, looking stronger and stronger each time (as he will now have to overcome TWO men to retain)? I can now only pray that that A. John Cena somehow manages to eliminate Davari earlier in the night, thus enabling a real ref to call the match. B. Davari gets knocked out early, and a new ref is sent in, giving us at least 10 clean minutes before Kurt gets the pin, and C. Somebody with power (a la Vince or Bischoff) comes to their senses and somehow, through kayfabe, overturn the decision. Let's remember though, this is WWE booking we're talking about here.


Then of course you have the fact that due to Eddie's untimely passing, Randy Orton has replaced him on Team SmackDown!. This obviously means he will not have his rubber match will the Undertaker. Again, what the hell! Now, the E is still advertising that he'll be there, but really, do I need to see the 20 minute entrance if it does not culminate with a match? Isn't that just wasting my time? I'm giving them a reprieve for now because it is one of the greatest entrances of all time, so I should be excited about seeing it.

Up next we have Trish Stratus vs. Melina for the Women's Championship. Great, so now somebody NOT EVEN on the RAW roster can win the belt, and take it over to the show that has two real female wrestlers if they're lucky. ...sigh...

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long. Did we REALLY need this? Think of all the people not involved in this show that could have represented RAW or SD!.

From RAW, take your pick from Chavo, Basham brother A, Gregory Helms, Snitsky, Cade, Murdoch, Rosey, or Tajiri.

Put them in a match with:

SD!: Boogeyman (I only list that because it's an option, not because I'd actually like to see it, although it would provide for a excellent pee break), Kendrick, Basham brother B, Hardcore Holly, Kennedy (speaking of which, he better get his ass a match by Sunday!), Paul London, Burchill, or Simon Dean.

Hell, two old farts giving us a bunch of bad spots in a match we could care two sh*ts about? I'd take Tomko vs. Vito at this point.

Fortunately, not all is bad in the land of Survivor Series. Ric Flair vs Naitch should own, as Flair has proven time and time again that despite his age, when he wants to go, he can go. As for Triple HHH, there's an entire column I could devote to how much people give him entirely too much garbage, but for now I'll spare you, and leave it at "the guy was a WWE Champion 5 times before he started dating Stephanie, he is not as involved in booking as you think, and the misconception that he won't put anybody over is (for the most part) complete and total bullcrap."

The SmackDown! vs RAW match should also be really good. Yeah, I'm semi-bummed about not getting to see guys like HBK, Carlito, JBL, and Rey Rey in singles matches, but how can you have Survivor Series without a SS match? You can't. Therefore, I really am looking forward to this match.

I'm assuming that Kennedy will somehow make an appearance, especially being so close to Green Bay. I bet he can't wait to get booed out of the building in Detroit. For those of you who don't live in America, don't watch football, or reside in a cave that magically has an internet connection, Green Bay and Detroit do not like each other very much.

I'm smelling Booker vs. Beniot for the United States Championship. Since starting this, it has been confirmed that this is match one in the best of seven for the U.S. Title. I was a little disappointed knowing I won't get to see Benoit win the belt live, but if this series is even half as good as their first best of seven, I'm sure I'll get over it.

I'm also thinking that MNM will somehow defend the title. Am I the biggest fan of LOD 2K5? Not really, but for nostalgia purposes, I'll take it.

I was originally going to wear my Captain Charisma shirt as my own little personal "F-you" to Vince, but under the circumstances, I've now decided I'm going to sport the "RIP Eddie" shirt. My backup plan for Vince? My father is wearing the Christian shirt. Take that, Vince... take that.

Now that Survivor Series has been addressed, let's move on to the rest of the wrestling world, and the important issues, like why in the hell haven't I seen Stacy Keibler in a month.

Dear Vince,

Put my damn wife on television, already!

- JT


Okay, okay, I'll be serious now.

Dear Vince,

PLEASE put my wife on television, already!

- JT


....I slay me.


I'm going to start over on the RAW side of things today. I know I ranted about John Cena earlier, but I didn't really get into why. I don't mind John Cena, and in fact, think he can (at times) be entertaining. The fact that he is "a fat pile of cash" cannot be denied either. However, he and Dave (Batista) have both had the belts for almost eight months now. What strikes me as odd is that fans can't seem to get enough of these two being champs. Aren't these the same fans that were screaming for JBL's head because "he's had the belt too long (8 months at the time)"? Exactly. All JBL haters can feel free to drink a nice tall glass of shut the hell up now. You can't have it both ways. Pick one, and stick with it. Personally, I think eight months is more than enough, and one of these two champions needs to lose the belt soon. Since I think the Spinner WWE Title is about the ugliest thing I've ever seen since Brad showed me his webcam, I'm taking Cena.

Trish Stratus made her return over the last month or so, and personally I could not be more pleased. She is easily the most talented wrestler (female) on the entire roster, and her promo abilities both as a face or a heel are unbelievable. Not only that, the Women's Division is getting some much needed life breathed into it.

Nick 'Eugene' Dinsmore collapsed sometime during overseas tour, admitted to taking painkillers, and has been suspended until further notice. He has been admitted to a rehabilitation center of some sort. Apparently, Dinsmore missed the memo everybody got that Eddie Guerrero DIED from crap like this. I wish him the best of luck and all that other polite crap people say, but I really wish people would stop killing their bodies. Especially a guy like this. I mean, even if he's working four shows a night, it's for what? ten minutes tops in little comedy spots and filler matches? I hate to be judgmental because I am not a professional wrestler, but it can't be taking THAT big of a toll on his body. I know he has a nagging knee injury, but still... GET IT LOOKED AT. He is not a BIG star, and would not have lost anything he had taken a month or two off to get it patched up, as opposed to hiding it and then driving himself to calapsure and subsequent suspension.

I like the way Carlito and Shelton are developing. I don't like the fact they've both had about five matches combined in the last two months. Seriously, these guys are your future, and you're giving them ten minutes of face time every third week. Somebody in booking needs to get on this like..... yesterday. I do love Carlito's finisher though.... oh... wait.

In lou of the recent tragedy, it appears that Chavo Guerrero will no longer be using the gimmick "Kerwin White". While I could see the potential in the White character (yes, I am sane, calm down), I can certainly understand the move, and am happy he gets to continue the Guerrero family legacy.

Edge has apparently injured a pectoral muscle, and will be out of action for some time. A lot of people give him crap for the events of the past year. But I only care about Edge the wrestler, not Edge the person. And for Edge the wrestler, who has suffered injury after injury (including neck surgery), I feel bad for the guy.

Kane has also injured his back, which is likely the reason for them putting the titles on himself and Big Show, and including them in the RAW vs SD! match. All of these situations allow him to still be out there, but not do the grunt of the work. I've always been a fan of Kane, but the man has been a little bit of a bitch since losing the mask. Had I have been a member of the booking team, I might have given him 2 months off, let him bulk up a little, and had him return with the mask. Of course, I'm a logical man, and stipulation #3 - B of the booking team guidebook is that you can not in any way be a logical man or make any sense whatsoever.

In moves shocking absolutely no one, Kurt Angle continues to be one of the five most entertaining wrestlers in the WWE. I used to be of the notion that I preferred "Dorky, Comical" face Kurt. I have since come to my senses and realized that I don't give two sh*ts what he's doing. Face, heel, goofy, psycho; No matter to me. It really is a shame he's getting divorced. I mean, don't get me wrong, it happens everyday and it's sad. I just kind of feel like a prick because I'm thankful he's so dedicated to his craft, which happens to be the exact reason they're splitting up... thinking about that now, I suppose that would make me a greedy prick as well.

Of course, the mention of Cade of Murdoch would lead me into the Tag Division over on RAW. Can we even still call it that? I mean really, who is sitting around in the back thinking "I have a GREAT idea! Let's put the belts on two guys who should legitimately be dominating in the single's scene! Wait! I have another great idea! Let's break up our only face tag team, and have a total of two actual tag teams on RAW, and make them both heels!"? At least SmackDown! is trying, with (I believe at last count) six or seven of them. It could be worse... they could be the Cruisers division, where the belt has become so none important, the last two title changes have taken place OFF of television.

And speaking of the cruisers, it's not the division itself that pisses me off. It's the way that it's being used. You have guys like London and Burchill being restricted to Heat / Velocity / whatever, and I only see the likes of Psicosis, Juvi, and Super Crazy in tag matches...show of hands how many people see what's wrong with this picture? I like all of these guys, and I just wish they had more opportunity to entertain.

Don't even get me started on Rob Conway... okay, get me started. The truth is, Rob Conway has been around for years, knows the business, and is a good wrestler. So I'm not going to blame him for any character or gimmick I might not find particularly entertaining. In fact, to his credit, a lot of people seem to be really impressed with his work as of late.

Rob Van Dam will apparently not be back until early 2006. This flat out blows...

Oh, and I just remembered that Ric Flair faced Trevor Murdoch this past week on RAW... I think somebody in booking is playing pin the tail on the match card.

Okay, I think that's about it for the RAW side of things. Well, except for Triple H, but maybe another day...

There is another show, however. Actually, several more. But for now, let's worry about SmackDown! shall we?

First off, I love Teddy Long as GM. I really, really, REALLY love Teddy as GM. From the moment he debuted in the position with the ever cool, instantly turning himself face move of booking the 8 man Battle Royal (I believe Battle Royal), I knew that the E had picked a winner. Some people don't seem to like him however. What are you people smoking? And send some my way... wait, don't, I'm a professional here... (subtle *wink wink*).

I suppose I'll start with the champ. As we all know, big Dave is such a man beast, a double Chokeslam from two of the largest men just simply wasn't enough. No no, he had to be rammed through a windshield. I mean... ? We already know he's injured 4 - 6 weeks, are we trying to put him out til WrestleMania? I digress, he sold it like a champ and I'm sure he's fine. Dave is up there in age, and therefore I hope he is able to recover from this, and gets a few good years in there before he has to call it quits.

I've always been a fan of Booker T. While I can't stand to see him as a heel, I let that fact go because he seems to be more involved in storylines when he's the bad guy. I do that he should have at SOME point in the last 3 years had a title run, because the window on that door is closing.

JT: "Window on that door"? Are you drinking again?

JT: I do not drink on the sir, job.

JT: Your editing job? Your editorial job? You sit in a recliner in front of a computer while watching television...

JT: Okay, THEY didn't know that!

JT: Put...the bottle....down...

JT: ....only because it's you.


As I was saying, Benoit, like Booker, is one of my all-time favorites. The guy just flat out knows how to go. I really feel for him, as it must be hell he's going through over Eddie. I already discussed my thoughts on him not winning the belt, but I'll reiterate because I like using the > for some reason: Benoit winning the belt < Best of 7 for the U.S. Title.

Hardcore Holly is so underrated in my opinion. He is more than over with the crowd, and I count at least 10 devastating power moves every match he's involved in. Even a shoulder bump by Bob Holly looks vicious. Despite this, we all know he'll never get any sort of significant push. That's it, Vince is getting a letter!

Nobody draws heel heat quite like JBL, and he continues to do so in regular fashion. I cannot for the life of me figure out why he gets so much crap constantly. He shows up every night, and does his damn job. Be the biggest asshole on the entire planet. The crowd HATES him, mission accomplished. "But JT, he can't really do much in the ring!". Please, his brawler style fits his character perfectly. His entire career has been about been somebody who just got into the ring and beat ass, bar-room style. And make no mistake, some may be green, some may have limited move-sets, but EVERY single person on the WWE roster knows how to wrestle. Even Josh Matt-ew-s.

NEWS BREAK!!!: The Boogeyman is a piece of crap and I can't stand him...

...further updates as events warrant.

I really like the fact that the E, or at least SD! is trying with the tag teams. MNM, while still relatively new, has already made several strides in all areas. Not only that, I am happy Nitro was not destined to never succeed after that three month debacle as Bischoffs bitch. Oh, and the for the record, Melina has the SECOND greatest ring entrance in history. Don't argue with me. Regal and Burchill are fine with me, because both can wrestle and wrestle well. I've already said my piece on LOD 2K5. Nunzio and Vita aren't the greatest, but they can only help the Tag Team revival seemingly going on there. And as I said, while I'd like to see the Mexicools fighting the likes of each other in an attempt to help out the cruiser division, at least they're here, and at least they're wrestling.

I haven't fully jumped about the Ken Kennedy bandwagon (because I absolutely REFUSE to jump on bandwagons), but he is slowly and surely earning my respect. I also noticed every writer in the entire IWC has to say Kennedy twice when talking about him... Hey IWC, "Triple Nose" called, it wants it 'same damn joke over and over and over' back. That being said, Kennedy appears to be the goods. He's great on the mic, has shown skill in the ring, and seems to get better by the week.

In related news, I've completely jumped on the Lashley bandwagon. That man owns.

Randy Orton was and will remain one of my favorites... as long as, and this is important... HE REMAINS FANS UNTIL THE FANS DECIDE OTHERWISE, NOT THE BOOKING TEAM. Seriously, they were setback YEARS when they turned him face the night after he won a belt. It's like nobody in the back was paying attention to the fact he was getting over AS A HEEL. Nice work creative, nothing like watching a nice, young, upstart superstar getting booed out of the building within a month of his title reign beginning. He STILL isn't anywhere near as over as he was back then. Because back then, we booed him in that "we hate you but man you are cool" kind of way... now, he's gotten a little of that back, but now we mostly just boo him for being a prick. He hasn't lost much ground with me though. I know what he's capable of, and look forward to his future.

Mysterio continues to completely get ignored in the World Title scene. Not to be overly critical, but does the E not realize how completely OVER he is? Or even better, or completely OVER he would be as CHAMPION. We are a race of little needs and simple minds. We would eat him up as champ like stink on crap... wait... isn't that flies or something? What? Now I'm just confusing myself I should move on.

I'm going to get some crap thrown at me for this, but I think Simon Dean is entertaining as hell. Who could take a gimmick that bad and make us laugh so hard? Plus, he actually knows how to wrestle.. that is, when he's actually allowed to wrestle.

Wow, that was exhausting. Well, I hope you all enjoyed it, because as soon as Brad reads this I will be immediately relieved of duty, and subsequently fired. But that's okay, because now you can say "I know where that fired guy stands on sh*t". Kirsty, it was great working for you, and whenever whateverhisnameis screws up bad enough, I'll be here waiting.

Have a great December kids, Kirsty is back next month with her usual goodness. Until we meet again, enjoy the product, and remember... always mark for Christian Cage.

by James Thomlison
Brad Dykens wrote:
Despite the fact that I celebrated two birthdays and shaved 8 times while reading this column, it was very well done and I want to thank JT for his effort. One thing you forgot to mention was the unbelievable RIP Eddie FanJam that features many of the emails that literally poured in for days after the passing of Eddie Guerrero. Oh, I don't even have a Web Cam.
Phil T wrote:
"Just read your column James and this is the second time ever were I had to email the author and tell him what a FANTASTIC job he did. It takes a lot to blow me away, but you did it with ease. I haven't laughed out loud as much reading a column ever. I myself am no stranger to the world of lengthy columns, but yours was truly a pleasure to read. The sarcasm through out reminded me a lot of myself and was brilliantly done. Two columns of mine that if you haven't read yet that I know you would love are, "The Best of Times" and "RAW Frustration" Read these two and you will find we are very much alike especially in "RAW Frustration". I used a lot of sarcasm and for the most part people loved it. Have fun at the Survivor Series and if you see Vince or Stephanie PLEASE flip them off once for me. This will mark the first time in history that I will not be ordering the Series. I was on the fence and then when WWE named Davari as the referee to what could have been the best match of the night I told myself, "Don't order it because you are going to just be pissed when it's over!!" If you do take a sec to read my columns that I mentioned, send me an email and let me know what you think. Given you have 1/63 power at OWW, feel free to post this endorsement of yourself below the column. Looking forward to your next one James, DON'T CHANGE YOUR STYLE AT ALL!!! It's magic.
Jesse Lee wrote:
No offense, but this was a boring column. Actually, I just have one thing to say. I don't think crying is all from sadness or weakness as you made it seem to be, it just shows how much these people truly loved Eddie. I don't blame you for not wanting to cry, it's dumb to argue over the issue, I just want to make a point said that sometimes a person is crying while remembering the good times.
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If your email is intelligently written, they will be posted underneath this messege..
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