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WRESTLING COLUMNS

OWW Editorial: Some Zest From The Quest
April 11, 2005 by Kirsty Quested


It occurred to me the other day, that as OWW's Official Editor, I've been somewhat remiss in my duties. I've been having so much fun reading and editing all the great articles that flood my Inbox, I've neglected a fundamental part of my job: the Editorial. And why should I pass up the opportunity anyway? I get to rant about two things very close to my heart: wrestling and this, the OWW website.

Deciding to pen a monthly editorial also provided me with the perfect excuse to get Sky Digital (the cable channels that carry RAW and SmackDown! here in New Zealand) for my home, an expense I had been humming and hawing about justifying. However, as editor of a wrestling website it just seems WRONG not to keep up with current events, doesn't it? This seems reasonable to me, does it seem reasonable to you? Getting the results online is just not the same thing, and detrimental to my position. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Unfortunately when I made this decision we were only three days out from WrestleMania 21 (also on Sky Digital) and the *%(&*#!@'s did not complete the installation in time for me to order the PPV. There was simply not enough foul language in my repertoire to encompass my outrage.

Speaking of outrage, who here has NOT read Laydon Rose's Attack On OWW Columnists? If you're easily worked up (like yours truly) then I suggest you give it a miss for fear of elevating your blood pressure. The column was titled "I'm Better Than Everyone" but actually I think the adjective we're looking for here is "pretentious."

"Pretentious: Claiming or demanding a position of distinction or merit, especially when unjustified. Marking or marked by an extravagant outward show; ostentatious."

Thank you, dictionary. And in order to try to remain as objective as possible, I did try to see Mr. Rose's point of view; however there was no room for my head up his arse along with his own. To all those of you who assisted in tearing this bottom-dweller a new one - THANK YOU. Some of your responses were extremely touching and a reminder of why Brad and I slog our guts out on this website. 'Nuff said.

I know I should have expected it with WrestleMania 21 approaching, but by God and Sonny Jesus the amount of columns I received in the lead-up to the big event blew my mind - and my Inbox. Can you say "enthusiasm"? It was fantastic to see so many of you articulating your thoughts, not just on the PPV but on many other areas of the wrestling universe. Rhey Higgins' second "Smark Remark" on Alberta vs Texas did, in a quasi-sort-of-way, actually commend Bret Hart - did you mean to do this Rhey? Too late if you didn't! Although don't be disheartened; the reins of Bret-bashing were taken up by David Temrick, whose misguided but nevertheless controversial "Who REALLY Screwed Bret?" article generated a response so huge Brad had to close the feedback for it. Not before I said my piece though. Twice. Speaking of the Montreal Screwjob, Brad recently informed me (with no small amount of frustration is my guess) that we're no longer accepting articles that deal exclusively with that travesty of an event. He was most emphatic about it (he may well have been anticipating my wailing response), and would not be swayed. Hmmm. It appears my feminine wiles may need fine-tuning. In the meantime, I would have to agree that perhaps all that can be said about the Screwjob, has been said.

In any case, the Columns section has not been lacking in controversy, oh my word no. K. O'Daillaigh's "Why Does The WWE Hate Islam?" provoked an enormous, but not unexpected reaction from many of you. Personally I think the Hassan gimmick is highly irresponsible given today's very shaky political climate, but it was the catalyst for what seems to have been the biggest pop of the night at WrestleMania 21. Hulk Hogan, in full Hulkamania attire, strode down the aisle to his old "Real American" theme and "beat Hassan into paste"... as described by Dave Hanson, who reviewed WrestleMania 21 at our request, having actually been fortunate enough to GO to the live show. I happened to be online when Dave returned from the Staples Center, and "listened" with mounting envy as he breathlessly described the event, after which he transferred his enthusiasm into the review, as all those of you who have read it will agree. Oh and Dave? "Gladiator" is a great movie - it has a New Zealander in it! And to return to the subject of controversial articles, Dave is no stranger to them; his very first column for OWW was an eloquent argument on why Undertaker should have lost to Randy Orton at WrestleMania. Eloquence aside, it certainly provoked a response from all of you! Brad told me he couldn't believe how fast the feedback for that column poured in, while I merely grinned smugly, having followed a hunch which predicted that very outcome. Dave says he doesn't care what anyone thinks; he's sticking to his opinion, but now that WrestleMania is over I can't resist... HA-BLOODY-HA!!!

In non-WWE-related articles, Jacob G.'s "Steps For Success For TNA" provided a well-thought out recipe to help the fledging promotion fight the might of the McMahon monopoly, and allowed many to respond with their own thoughts and ideas. If the TNA powers-that-be have not read Jacob's article, it will be to their own detriment. More than one person has mentioned to me that TNA may waste their enormous potential by repeating WCW's fatal mistakes; and while it may be just a tad too early to tell at this stage, it seems that if TNA does go belly-up it will be for that reason. D. Simpson penned a short but interesting piece on Paul Heyman's contribution to the death of ECW; apparently there's to be a resurrection in June though, something I'll be watching with great interest.

Possibly the award for "Most Effort" has to go to my fellow countryman, Ite Lemalu, who's Hall Of Fame Part One column blew me away. It is with great anticipation that I look forward to the next instalment. Ite, here's a Speights - good on ya mate!

Thanks to all of you who not only participated in the poll that saw me select Undertaker as the subject of my latest biographical column, but who left feedback as well, I really appreciate it. I'm currently facing a dilemma over who to write about next. Kevin Nash was not too far behind Taker in votes, so perhaps it's logical that he's next. I wouldn't mind. Kevin is extremely easy on the eye (I used to go ga-ga over the Diesel gimmick - woof!). On the other hand, the more I read about Chris Benoit the more I want to read. Trained by the late great Stu Hart, friend of the Harts and often, Bret reincarnated in the ring, I can't help being extremely tempted to delve deeper into the life of the young Canadian. Decisions decisions...

I haven't seen WrestleMania 21 yet. I keep trying to buy a tape of it off eBay but roadblocks are thrown up at every attempt - this copy got damaged, that copy taped the wrong channel, I thought I had a copy left but I don't... you would think that people would check their item before they list it. So if any of you out there know of a way I can get my frantic paws on a tape of that PPV, PLEASE email me before I go insane!

I did, however, see highlights on my very first RAW! Excited does not begin to describe my state of mind as I waited with breathless antici...pation. (Sorry, couldn't resist - I love Rocky Horror). I suppose I should have expected it, but the show seemed to be a forum for everyone who lost at WrestleMania to come out and bitch about why. At least Triple H was wearing a decent suit. Shawn Michaels' beige and lemon nightmare almost made me feel he deserved that pummelling from Hassan and Daivari. I had not seen anything as funny as Triple H's ring-rant though - when he exited the ring, still bleating down the mic, he passed a bandanna-clad fan intent on capitalising on his ring-side seat and brief moment in the spotlight by chanting "Ba-tis-ta!" at Triple H as he passed by. How much of a fright he got when Triple H got up in his face and boomed the last part of his threats directly into his eyes was evident in the speed with which he shut up. Ha! The lesson here being; think twice before you mess with Triple H - or if you do, be prepared to follow through.

My favourite part of the show was the Triple Threat match. It was the first time I'd ever seen one. Since Shelton Benjamin, Y2J and Christian are among my favourite performers, it was a special treat for me and I was thrilled to see Shelton take out the IC strap. Dave Hanson mentioned in his WrestleMania review that he thought Benjamin and Chris Benoit may have been hurt during the ladder match, and I must say Shelton looked a bit the worse for wear - that leg seemed to be giving him a certain amount of pain. Likewise Chris looked a bit rough round the edges. He certainly took a beating from Edge, no doubt about that.

The most disappointing part of the show was the women's segment. It's been a long time since I've seen the gals get it on, and I was looking forward to it, as indeed, was my husband, and we were spectacularly let down. One back kick from Trish and see ya later! All I can say is that I fervently hope the Women's Division is granted more time on future RAW shows, and that I get my paws on WrestleMania 21, so that I may see Trish kick Christy to touch for the title.

The main event - Batista vs. Orton - was a very solid performance by both wrestlers, even with the attempting-to-be-ominous-and-failing-miserably presence of Triple H at the end. Batista's hung on to his belt though, and that's the main thing. I would really love to see him have a decent reign - Triple H permanently at the top of the heap has just been screaming NEPOTISM!!!!!! If they're not careful, HHH's connection to the McMahon's will soon be to his detriment, not to his advantage, even as a heel. Since I respect the guy's in-ring ability, it's my fervent hope that the WWE powers-that-be recognise the inherent danger Triple H is in.

SmackDown! started off interestingly enough. With JBL, Booker T, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Kurt Angle and Big Show challenging the new champ, John Cena, for the WWE title, it looked like a very good start. However, Theodore Long dictating that Rey Mysterio would face JBL that night was, to torture a cliché, David vs. Goliath. I suppose it could have been worse. Rey could have been up against the Big Show.

The Cruiserweight match was great. Paul London defended his title valiantly against Billy Kidman, despite being busted open and losing so much blood I feared for his ability to remain upright. Kurt Angle's rant, followed by his swift dispatch of a hapless jobber (I thought the WWE was done with these? Maybe we'll see that young lad in the future) was for me an excuse to search the magazines on the coffee table for something else to do. My husband, who had been paying scant attention to the TV, perked up when the Divas began their bikini contest, but was soon yawning. "Some nice A, not enough T," was his comment, while I considered it an appalling waste of TV time and the feminist lurking not-far-below-my-surface screamed her outrage. I simply cannot BELIEVE that THIS contest was given uninterrupted TV time, yet we had to suffer through commercials while Rey Mysterio took on JBL. "Mysterio's been in control all through the commercial break!" trumpeted the announcer, and I gritted my teeth in annoyance that we should have missed some of his best moves while these watery bints pranced about onstage commercial free. When we finally did get the match back, poor Rey was being pounded into toothpaste. His almost-certain pin on JBL, however, was interrupted by Eddie Guerrero, an outrageous, but, given the promo cut earlier, not entirely unexpected outcome. I think we can expect the heat to turn up between these lads over the next few weeks.

Gratuitous though it was, I enjoyed watching John Cena celebrate his victory. I love how much time this guy gives his fans.

Overall, my first RAW and SmackDown! experiences were all I expected, and more. I thoroughly enjoyed them, and while I realise that my excitement played a big role in the positive outcome and that, when I'm over the novelty, my natural cynicism may well rear its ugly head, I nevertheless look forward to future shows with great optimism.

Hulk Hogan's been inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame and all I can say is, about-bloody-time. It seems to me a travesty that they've waited this long to induct possibly the best-known figure ever to set foot in the squared circle. I said "best-known" not just "best," before you leap up as one screaming that he can't wrestle. Whether you've loved him or hated him, he's been the face of pro-wrestling since its explosion onto the international scene in the early 80's. The man's a legend, and it is testament to his bucket-loads of charisma that he climbed to such iconic heights while not actually having much rasslin' talent. That takes some doing! Getting back to the delay in his induction however, I did hear that you have to be retired before they'll consider you, and ol' Terry's not long hung up his tights. In any case, Hulkamania now has its place in the annals of history - not that there was a shred of doubt about that anyway.

Grasshoppers, here endeth my first editorial. If you've gotten this far, thank you for taking the time to peruse the musings of your Editor, I appreciate it. I am, as always, eternally grateful to all of you who have made the time to pen articles for this website; without you the Columns section would not exist, let alone be so colourful, so keep it up! And of course thanks as always to Brad, who gives me pretty much a free hand with the columns, foolishly or not trusting my ability. Until next time my young padawans...

by Kirsty Quested


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