The WWE Ressurection
May 24, 2004 by Alai
After days of curiousity as to what to write my very first column about, I've got it. I have chosen to write about the formula to a World Wrestling Entertainment ressurection! Now, I've done quite a bit of work on this article, and I think I've found a winning combination.
First off, I shall unify the two RAW and SmackDown rosters. The roster split seems to be going smoothly, and it is a nice little touch for the respective shows to have their own unique elements to them. But I think that if this is done correctly, both rosters could meet a crossroad. Besides, the unification would lead to tons of great matches at the oncoming Pay Per View.
World Heavyweight Championship Unification
Chris Benoit versus Eddie Guerrero
Now, here's a match. Wrestling at it's finest. In a match like this, I'd be happy no matter the victor, but I think we'd have to give it to Chris Benoit. The Canadian Crippler deserves the honors after his ever-so-long trip up the ladder of success.
United States/Intercontinental Championship Unification
Randy Orton versus John Cena
An excellent match between two future World Champions. Another battle between equivalents, so I'd have to give this match to the one who's pulling in the most ratings. And that, my friends, is John Cena.
Tag Team Championship Unification
Chris Benoit/Edge versus Charlie Haas/Rico
The tag team division is definitely a peice of work. Personally, I don't prefer either of these two teams in the tag team division, but you have to give it to one of them. However, Chris Benoit will be busy with the World Heavyweight Championship, and Edge should be making a run for greater pastures. I'll give this one to Charlie Haas and Rico, and then get them to drop it ASAP. I can understand, however, that it would be hard to see the World Champion and a partner as great as Edge lose a match too two men who have shone no brighter than the mid card. But Charlie Haas would be heading into a Shelton Benjamin calibur push, so he'll pick up the victory over Edge.
Oh, but that's not all. Both the Cruiserweight and Womens Championship belts will be defended between superstars formerly from different rosters.
Chavo Guerrero Jr versus Shane Helms
I've already decided that Chavo Sr. will drop the title to his son immediately. It was a horrible idea that the WWE would hand it to a retired wrestler who is highly over-weight for the title. Once his son retrieves the title, he will head into a feud with Shane Helms. Hurricane will ditch his gimmick and return to his Three Count life-style, leading to a victory over Chavo Guerrero and becoming the Cruiserweight Champion.
Victoria versus Jacquelyn
If Jacquelyn is good enough to hold the Cruiserweight Championship, she ought to be a competitor for the Womens title. Howeveer, I love Victoria's style of wrestling, in fact, she's got more talent than half the men on that roster. Victoria's a gal that definitely deserves to come out on top in this one.
Now that the titles have all been decided, lets go into some (former)inter-promotional grudge matches. How about Mark Jindrak(accompanied by Theodore Long) returns to defeat his former tag team partner Garrison Cade(accompanied by The Coach.) I'd also take advantage of the Undertaker and Kane being on the same roster, restoring Kane to his one and only gimmick. He would put his mask back on, and the monsterous force that flourished when Kane first entered the WWE would be revived. He'd settle it with the Undertaker once and for all in a Hell in a Cell match, the Big Red Machine leaving victorious. Another interesting match could be Shelton Benjamin vs Rene Dupree, the All-American vs the Anti-American.
After the unification Pay Per View, I sadly admit that it would be time for the Undertaker to hang up his tights. He's a great influence back-stage, and should become that, and only that. His "Dead Man" gimmick could be passed onto Mordecai, a wrestler with impressive strength who looks to be pulling it off quite well.
We'd also have to take Kurt Angle off television. The General Manager angle isn't working, and it wouldn't be possible with the roster unification. I, myself, think that Kurt Angle is the greatest wrestler of all time, and deserves to get some kind of spot-light. But I can not think of anything whatsoever. However, if he did eventually get into the condition to where he could wrestle again, he'd have to avenge himself with a victory over the Big Show. Afterwards, a run for the World Heavyweight Championship would look quite promising. Just think: The classic battle between Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit, but this time, with the grandest prize of them all at stake.
Now, with a roster unification, there would be room to release quite a few guys. Who will we be handing the pink slips out too"
- Scott Steiner
- Val Venis
- Sylvain Greniar
- Chuck Palumbo
- Johnny The Bull
- Steven Richards
- Orlando Jordan
- Ryan Sakoda
And, finally, if you're not going to put him in the ring, send Johnny Nitro back to Ohio Valley Wrestling.
Speaking of ring time ... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET "THE WHOLE F'N SHO" FUNAKI BACK IN THE RING!
Of course, Vince McMahon has already lost quite a bit of talent one way or another. Lets get them back!
- This may not be a popular opinion, but the WWE needs Brock Lesnar back. This guy is a phenomenal talent, but Vince screwed up when he put him on the mic. Stick him with Paul Heyman, and let him run wild. However, I won't include him in the list of re-signees because he wasn't fired, he left the WWE on his own. Now, onto the list.
1. Lance Storm: Needless to say, Lance Storm is an excellent wrestler, McMahon just couldn't think of the right gimmick. I guess he wasn't looking hard enough, because it was right in front of him. Bring back the ECW Lance Storm, stick him with a vallet in Dawn Marie, and you have a United States Championship competitor.
2. Sean O'Haire: A very promising young athlete. I, myself, was surprised that McMahon would release a man of his size alone. But unlike the Batista's of the WWE, he had talent.
3. Kevin Nash: It's not important that they re-sign him, but he could add depth to the roster. But he's a much better heel than he is a face. Hey, maybe Big Diesel could run wild in the WWE once again.
4. Chris Kanyon: Again, the WWE can live without him, but he's talented, and could work a number of different angles.
5. Spanky - A spectacular cruiserweight. Bring him back, and either use him as a great asset to the cruiserweight division, or give him and Paul London the Tag Team titles.
What's next" Push your talent! Lets first take a look at contention for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Once Kane fits back into his mask, he should be a solid contender for the title. Rob Van Dam and Chris Jericho will be immediately pushed into World Championship contention. Eddie and Chris will remain top runners for the titles, as should Triple H. As I stated earlier, Kurt Angle should be a top runner if he is healthy. With a little bit of work, the ECW Rhino can return to his throne and enter World title contention. Then, guys in your United States division can make occasional runs for the World title. Here's what your. U.S title division should look like:
Amongst the top runners will be John Cena, Randy Orton, Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin, Booker T and Edge. All five of which can occasionally get a shot at the World title. Of the five, the first to get a major push should be either Shelton Benjamin(with the most talent) or Booker T(with the most experience.) A knotch under them in contention will be superstars still being pushed, like Rene Dupree, Mark Jindrak, and Eugene Dinsmore. However, as humorous as the Eugene gimmick is, that shouldn't last long. When Nick Dinsmore enters the United States title ranks, it will be as "Mr. Wrestling III." JBL, William Regal and Rikishi should all add color to the title, as well.
Next stop: The horrible tag team division of the WWE. Where to beg in"
- The Dudley Boys shall remain as heels, and become top runners for the tag team titles.
- Another excellent heel tag team will be The Basham Brothers.
- I'd like to team up Christian and Matt Hardy, and see what happens.
- Hardcore Holly and Billy Gunn seem to be working as a nice face team.
- Now that Grandmaster Sexay has been re-signed, Too Cool could be a good face team.
- A lot of cruiserweight tag teams should be thrown in, like Paul London/Spanky, and Shane Helms/Shannon Moore.
Lower down the card could be rather impre ssive talents in guys like Rob Conway, Rico, John Heidenrich and graduates of Ohio Valley Wrestling.
The Womens division is solid with Victoria, Lita, Jacquelyn, Trish Stratus, Jazz, Molly Holly, Gail Kim, and a promising Nidia. Plus, we can use vallets like Torrie Wilson, Sable, Stacy Keibler, Dawn Marie and Miss Jackie for that occasional bikini/lingerie conest.
And my favorite: The cruiserweight division. How exciting it would be if the cruiserweight title was defended on a weekly basic, changing hands between the likes of Shane Helms, Paul London, Rey Mysterio Jr, Ultimo Dragon, Shannon Moore, Spanky, Jamie Noble, Akio, Little Guito, Spike Dudley, Sho Funaki and Tajiri!
Under those circumstance, the WWE should run pretty smoothly. Until next time, this is Alai, signing off.
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