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WRESTLING COLUMNS

Things I don't Understand
October 29, 2004 by Elmo Jon


I went to a yard sale a few days ago, since there's always something good for a fair price waiting to be pick up. Well that day I didn't find much just until I was about to hit the road I saw a bunch a VHS at .50 cents a piece. Mostly crappy movies but then , there was a something worth the money, a Wrestlermania 14 tape! Well you all know that before I get home I was getting excited. But after I watch all the 3+ hours of an above average action there was something that caught my attention.

The Undertaker vs. Kane for the first time, even though they have fought so many times, this was special in several ways. First it was the first time as I recall early. Second watching the old school Undertaker with his five minutes entrance is always entertainment. Also the Red Monster was unstoppable and he was perhaps the first guy to ever make the Undertaker human. And that's the first thing I don't understand, what the hell happen to that Kane" Why he beat the crap out of the legendary Undertaker (and Pete Rose as well) and now he is jobbing to guys that are below mid-carder" Please somebody give me a clue!

Also I watch of the Degeneration X in their prime, which it makes me happy just to see an athletic Hunter Helms aka HHH not only in better shape but a little bit humble even though his gimmick is a cocky-don't give a damn dude, but know we have a dictator in & out of the ring. Second thing I don't understand, why HHH likes chicks that look bigger than him" First China looked like the poster child of the side effects of anabolic steroids when they were together, then he get hook up with princess McMahon and now she look like a bouncer in a Las Vegas Strip Club!

Ken Shamrock beat the hell out of The Rock, where's Shamrock now" Uff! Even Sable did some wrestling moves on Luna Vashon that day. The Nation of Domination was on full swing and JBL uses the classic mullet. The Legion of Doom put some heat on the crowd and the Rock & Roll Express still on the move. Third thing I don't understand" Whatever happen to those once great tag teams" I really miss Legion of Doom, Demolition, Hart Foundation and if you go back the list is long enough to fill 10 DVD's!

And then you have the Main Event: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels with the baddest man on the planet Mike Tyson, all of them in their primes! Shawn Michaels could fight a donkey and still makes a classic and the rattlesnake was in his physical and wrestling prime wish that put me in my fourth clueless question. Why current pay per views main events are not held by guys in their primes" I mean last PPV between HHH vs. HBK is not what I call a refreshing feud. HHH is no longer athletic or even has that impressive body he develop last time he went out and HBK with a mess up knee with over 40 years is not even fair to watch. But fans are to blame this time since they vote for him instead of Edge who really deserves the title shot.

I wonder if anybody in the WWE creative department ever watch those old tapes, maybe they can learn something. Sometimes some old stuff combines with a bit of new millennium could open the doors for exciting feuds, better gimmicks than Eugene, better Champions than JBL or even a decent tag team champ with no super heroes involve. So today I learn two things, there's always something good in the yards sale and there's a lot of thing I don't understand in this business.

by Elmo Jon..


Kirsty Quested wrote:
I know exactly what you mean. I've been watching all sorts of old tapes lately. I found Wrestlemania VI - and quite apart from that titanic match with Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, there was just so much MORE on the card than there are for more recent Wrestlemanias. Add to that ol' Jesse "The Body" Ventura matching wits against Gorilla Monsoon and even Steve Allen made the commentary almost more fun to pay attention to than the matches :) You were speaking of tag matches - this old tape had so many! The Rockers in their glory days, Demolition in one of their rare "face" matches, The Orient Express pulling nasty tricks, the Hart Foundation wiping out the Bolsheviks in 19 seconds, the Bushwhackers interfering in the Honky Tonk Man's ring concert - thank God! (I'm sure Elvis was rolling over in his grave at the impersonation, Honky Tonk was a great character but he couldn't sing a note...)

Wrestling today is far removed from what it used to be. I laughed at the promos being cut by the likes of Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior and I just thought it was so funny, big up to them for being able to keep a straight face! (I'm sure the Warrior spent much of his promo with his back to the camera because he was probably giggling). It wasn't nearly as "serious" then as it is now. It seemed like everyone - wrestlers, announcers, interviewers, fans - were having a lot more fun than they do now. It was almost a cartoon show back then. It's an era that's definitely long gone. If you watch the documentary on Bret Hart, Wrestling with Shadows, he talks about the shift in the direction of professional wrestling and you can almost pinpoint just when it took place. Even the style of wrestling itself has changed - there are not many of the ponderous greats like Hogan around these days.

There's a time for everything. Some oldies like me remember the "good ol' days" with a touch of nostalgia and affection, others refer to it as a "golden age" which while pious and a little melodramatic, is not that far off the mark. Wrestling continues to evolve as times change and I've no doubt that the era in which we sit now will also have it's time. It just makes me wonder what's coming up next. :)
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