Don’t Cross The Boss
August 17, 2006 by James Watts

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Hi everyone this is James Watts, writer of the Hardcore Legends columns, back again with a point that suddenly came to me out of nowhere: the fact that the "hired assassins" of Vincent Kennedy McMahon seem to have a bright future.

You may wonder what the blue hell I'm blathering on about, but bear with me and all will become clear (I hope). When you look back on the careers of those who protect Vince and take out his enemies, you notice that they go on to have successful careers or memorable career events.

The first of Vinnie Macs' back watchers who had a relatively successful career was the Big Boss Man. This probably confuses you, and may lead you to wonder what Boss Man did that was so successful. Well, the Boss Man was the second superstar in history to hold the WWE Hardcore Championship (after Mick Foley) after he defeated Mankind in the first ever Hardcore Championship Ladder Match (no, RVD and Jeff Hardy weren't the first ones to have that match).

Then there was Ken Shamrock. Shamrock defended Vince around about the same time as Boss Man, and they held the Tag Titles at one point, as well as Shamrock holding the IC title whilst in the Corporation. Shamrock then went on to become the NWA World Champion, though that was with another company, so call that how you want to.

Kane is another one who watched out for Vince and became a success, holding nearly every major title in WWE, as well as the WCW Tag Team Titles.

Arguably the most successful of Vinnie Macs' protectors is The Big Show, who recently became the first man to ever hold the WWE, WCW and ECW World Titles, as well as being a former Tag Team and Hardcore Champion.

More recent guys include the "Next Big Thing" Brock Lesnar, who watched Vinces' back for a while and held the WWE title whilst protecting Vinnie Mac.

Which brings me round to "The Samoan Bulldozer" Umaga. If you've been watching Raw recently, you'll notice that Umaga, along with his highly annoying manager, has been on a rampage, destroying superstars here there and everywhere. But take careful note of who he's destroying. So far, Umaga has beaten two of the greatest superstars in WWE history in Triple H and Shawn Michaels, as well as one of the most popular superstars in recent years and former WWE Champion John Cena. All of these victories have come whilst he's under the "control" of Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

If this carries on, I could see an even bigger push for Umaga that could even lead to a reign as the WWE Champion, which will just prove my point that if you DON'T cross the boss, you can go on to greatness.

by James Watts ..

TombstoneCity1387 wrote:
I don't really agree with you on one point. That point is Umaga possibly becoming WWE Champion. The facts are as such: Umaga can't wrestle (his arsenal is extremely limited), everyone with a brain stem knows that he is really Jamal from back in 2002/2003, and his finishing manuver (if you can even call it that), the "dreaded" Samoan Spike, is completely useless. Anyone who actually believes that this joke of a wrestler could carry RAW as it's champion should really see a doctor. Face facts, Umaga is a horrible excuse for a wrestler and his manager makes me want to puke.
Tom Wheeler wrote:
You talked about minor figures, but you are forgetting Triple H. He defected from DX to join the corporation for a short time, and now he has the keys to the car kind of. Chyna also was with Vince at that time. Sure she isn't with the company now, and was on the Surreal Life, but she was is only female Intercontinental champion. I don't know if you want to ad Austin and Angle to this list since they were already names at the time, but they were in the "Evil genius's" staple of no-good-nicks.
Mosherboy wrote:
TombstoneCity1387, your right by saying Umaga isn't exactly the greatest wrestler, but then again, is John Cena? Is The Big Show? No. But they have been a World Champion in the past year. To be honest, I can't see Umaga winning the WWE Championship. Well, at least I hope he doesn't win the WWE Championship...
Craig Ferguson wrote:
I have to agree with you Umaga has had up to this point a very successful run and hes going to continue to "bulldoze" his opponents but he will most likely never become the WWE Champion. He does have a decent amount of wrestling ability (more then John Cena anyway) but his finishing move the samoan spike does not do him justice and is one of the worst finishers i have ever seen in my many years of watching wrestling. And by the way Big Show and Brock Lesnar already had Increadably successful runs before the teamed up with Vince Mcmahon.
Derek Trotter wrote:
Though what was that move he done on Michaels a few weeks back??? A Gorilla Press into a Samoan drop, that was impressive.
James Watts (Original Author) wrote:
Thanks for all your responses guys. I have to comment on several points though.

Firstly, Umaga can wrestle, as we've seen. From the Tree of Woe/Running Headbutt combo to the elevated Samoan Drop to the Flying Big Splash to the Samoan Spike to the Throat, Umaga has a wide and diverse array of moves. He also has a number of athletic kicks (like the one he used recently against Shawn Michaels) and he has that devastating running butt in the corner move that makes me cringe every time I see it.

Secondly, yes you're right I forgot about Triple H, and yes Brock Lesnar was successful before Vinnie Mac, but the Big Show I'm talking about was immediately after his debut at the St Valentine's Day Massacre in '99, when he interfered in a cage match between Vinnie and Stone Cold Steve Austin by ripping through the canvas and hurling Austin through the cage. He then began to be Vince's backup and bodyguard til around about WrestleMania 2000. He even became WWE Champ during that stage when he defeated Triple H and The Rock at the Survivor Series (I think it was around that time, correct me if I'm wrong).
Doug Hagen wrote:
In regards to TombstoneCity’s comment that the Samoan Spike is completely useless, well, anyone with a modicum of knowledge in the martial arts will realize that this finisher is actually more realistic than a majority of finishers that are around today. Within the portion of the neck that Umaga strikes, there is a bundle of nerves named the Brachial Plexus that runs alongside both sides of the neck and under the trapezes muscles. When striking this area with enough force, whether through a forward palm strike, backhand strike or thumb strike, the opponent can be knocked unconscious anywhere from 5-10 seconds when used correctly. Furthermore, the opponent is pretty much useless/stunned for a minute or two afterwards.

This is a classic example of the technique being applied:

In addition, wrestlers throughout their career re-invent themselves. Remember Kane as Isaac Yankem DDS? Mick Foley as Cactus Jack (my personal favorite), Mankind and Dude Love? Speaking of Mick Foley, is his Mandible Claw anymore valid than the Samoan Spike since both employ the use of pressure points? Or how about Shawn Michaels who employs Sweet Chin Music and it’s SUCCESSFUL EVERY TIME he connects. Just because Umaga uses his thumb on a pressure point, does not make it any less devastating than Sweet Chin Music or the Mandible Claw.

I do agree that Umaga as far as his development as of now, would not carry the company as the World Champion, but I can clearly see him as the Intercontinental or United States Champion. With further character development he could very well be a World Champion, but that is unlikely as non-English speaking, savage type wrestlers are not known to be World Champions in the WWE.
Mr. Mulluk wrote:
I do agree up to a point, but I think it's a great deal more to do with backstage relationships with Vince than on-screen ones. Remember that the Big Boss Man already had a long and storied career years before his Mcmahon enforcer gimmick, and Shamrock was bound to have a relatively high-profile career due to the fame he'd already earned as an MMA fighter, that's a whole heapload of free promotion for WWE before he's even stepped into the ring. Nice article though.
Nicole wrote:
First of all...your title makes no sence. It says to NOT cross the boss, but then you are saying that everyone he pics as a "assasin" has a bright future. But hey, who am I to judge column titles? So anyway...

You make a really good point. And I agreed with everything you said. All the superstars you mentioned had some pretty sweet things arriving in their near future. I would never expect the Big Bossman to be listed, even though he does deserve it, and I'm glad you mentioned him. Like I said, I agreed with everything you said, until I got to the second to last paragraph. I don't think Umaga will be the WWE champion. I just think he was used to make the match at Summerslam more intresting. And now he is feuding with Kane and that's not being pushed as much as feuding with HHH and HBK. But otherwise, nice job.
TombstoneCity1387 wrote:
Doug Hagen, you make a valid observation. The finisher in itself is devastating IF APPLIED PROPERLY. But if you look at how Umaga executes it closely, he isn't even striking his opponent with his thumb, but with his fist. Now granted, a punch to the throat, or the brachial plexus specifically, is just as debilitating as a thumb, but if that is the case, why not just punch the guy and not fake sticking him with a thumb? I'd rather watch Umaga just haul off and sucker punch the poor bastard in the jugular that watch him pretend to stick his thumb with athletic tape (AND THAT'S ALL IT IS, PEOPLE!!!) in the man's throat. And my point is, the "samoan spike" is a ridiculous move (and a waste of a perfectly good cigar) for Umaga when he has so much more potential in that department (i.e. the running Butt Crunch, the spinning torture rack neckbreaker, the gorilla press/samoan drop, etc.). It is my opinion that he should use one of those 3 moves for his finisher. And to Mosherboy, I d o in fact think that John Cena is a good wrestler. He's not great, he's no Kurt Angle, but the way he combines speed, animalistic power (FU'ing Big Vis), and a little bit of submission (the STF[U]), is amazing to me. Not to mention his mic skills are second to very few (Jericho and The Rock are probably ahead in that respect). My point is that no, John Cena is not a world-class wrestler, but he is definitely world-title worthy without a shadow of a doubt. Umaga, on the other hand, has a limited arsenal, little experience (with this character, anyway, he was much more impressive as Jamal) and is in no way worthy of winning the world title. Although, an Umaga vs. Edge match (because Edge is a whiny little bitch who will stoop to any low to keep the strap on him, example being the bitch-slap to Cena's father [DISGUSTING!]) would give me a good excuse to go take a crap during Raw.


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