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WRESTLING COLUMNS

Cruiserweight Wrestling Federation: It Could Happen!
April 5, 2004 by John Corrigan


Imagine a wrestling federation with only Crusierweights! How exciting would that be! Well, imagine on Saturday afternoons at 1:00 till 3:00 the CWF would be airing.

Now the Chairman would be someone with alot of experience in cruiserweight wrestling. It would be Dean Malenko! He seems like a business person and would be a great heel Chairman.

The Referees would be all the regular WWE referees. The commentators would be Josh Mathews and Ernest "The Cat" Miller. Ring Announcer would be Sunny. Interviewers would be Jeremy Borash, Scott Hudson, and Mark Loyd.

On to the wrestling, the titles would be X Division World, Tag Team, and International Championships. The X Division World Champion would be the best cruiserweight wrestler. This person would put his heart and soul on the line in every match. Someone who makes fans excited about the main event of the shows. The X Division World Champion would be Jerry Lynn! He would be a superface, acting as the "New F'N Show!" The next cruiserweight wrestler Dean would hire would be A.J. Styles. Styles would be a young, cocky heel who can back it up. Jerry Lynn and A. J. Styles would have a feud going on for about a year. It may be long, but it would have every possible twist, turn, and match to make it the best rivalry ever. Lynn and Styles would have excellent one on one matches, a great Cage match, an amazing Ladder match, and their rivalry would end in a 60 minute Ironman match for the X Division World Championship! Syxx-Pac would be a rebel heel always kicking ass and taking shots at the X Division World Title. Billy Kidman would be a great high flying wrestler. He would always be battling all the heels. Especially, with his manager Bill Alfonso at ringside. A major heel heat superstar would be Chavo Guererro JR. He would have his dad ref all his matches, so that his matches are "fair." As a mysterious threat to the X Division World Championship, the "Fallen Angel" Chris Dainels would always be gunning for the title. He would have great matches with the ever exciting superface Chris Jericho! Jericho would host his Highlight Reel with the most controversial wrestlers as his guests.

Onto the tag team division. The 1st ever CWF Tag Team Champions will be "Too Cool," Grand Master Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty. They would be a fun loving, fan cheering tag team. They would still dance after all their matches. They would have a tag team finisher called the "BreakDance," which would be a double top turnbuckle leg drop. The top heel team would be David Flair and Crowbar with their manager of Daffney. They would be crazy and act sadistic. Daffney would always back up her men. Another heel tag team would be a technical team consisting of Christian and "Prime-time" Elix Skipper. Skipper and Christian would always be on the mic teasing and challenging opponents. Rey Mysterio and Red would form a team called the "High Flyin Animals!" The tag team division would have great matches all the time. There would be a heel faction called the "Asian Invasion" composed of Tajiri, Ultimo Dragon, Taka Michinoku, Akio, Sakoda, and Funaki. They would interfere in the matches of the face faction called the "Mexican Men." They would consist of Vampiro, Juventud Guerrera, Psicosis, La Parka, and Eddie Guerrero and Super Crazy with a manager being Jose Lothario. They would continue many feuds without the year. There would be Tag Team Titles switching back and forth.

The International Champion would be Chris Sabin. He would be a great face always getting the last laugh in every match. He would win all the impossible matches like Battle Royals, TLC's, and Elimination matches. His rivalries would vary between Frankie Kazarian, Michael Shane, Low Ki, Spike Dudley, Hurricane, Paul London, Nunzio, and Shannon Moore. Frankie and Sabin would have battles to earn the right to be named the "Future" of wrestling. They would have 25 minute matches leading into high impact maneuvers for the finishes. Michael Shane would take the International Championship from him for 3 months, only to lose it back to Sabin. Shane would bloody Sabin as the Champion, but the night of Sabin's regain, he brutalized Shane. Low Ki and Chris Sabin would prove to be the best submission matches in the whole wrestling federation. All different submissions from all different countries would be used. In the most exciting display between the two, Sabin would use a Sleeper Hold into a Crossface! Spike Dudley would bring the extreme to Sabin as Spike would use tables just to punish Sabin. But, Sabin would get a little "hardcore" by jumping off a ladder and landing a Swanton Bomb on the hard concrete floor to pin Dudley. Hurricane and Sabin would be a comedic feud as when they brawled it was entertaining, but whenever the other was in trouble, the other would make the save. As they would team for a brief time, their segments and matches would score the highest ratings.

Paul London would get his first Championship win over Sabin, but it wouldn't be long before the "Future" would take back his rightful spot as International Champion. Nunzio would cheat more than Bill Clinton to get non title victories over Sabin. The tights would be pulled, eyes would be poked, low blows often, and many feet on the ropes would be used in this feud. Shannon Moore would prove he could go over the edge as he would use many inventive moves to score victories, however, he would usually lose due to him having the biggest feud in the whole CWF with............... SPANKY!

Spanky and Shannon Moore would have a huge bitter feud with it starting as Spanky proclaiming not to be a joke, and taking it out on Shannon. They would have plenty of matches with both men gaining numerous victories. Then, Spanky would challenge Moore to the biggest match of both of their careers, a "Ten Table" match! One wrestler must go through ten tables no matter what. The winner, surprisingly to many, would be Spanky who would go on to win the International Championship for 2 months. This inside of Moore would tear him apart, so he challenged Spanky, but Chairman Malenko would make it a Triple Threat adding Hurricane, who shockingly, would get the win. Now, with the roles reversed, Shannon Moore being the aggressive heel facing the fan loving Spanky in more heated battles. This would earn 2nd place in PWI Feud of the Year.

Now, with wrestling these days, matches aren't enough, we need interesting storylines. The most popular storyline would be when Billy Kidman would gain a losing streak and get pissed at his manager Bill Alfonso. He would get a chair, fold it out, and tell Alfonso to sit in the back and not even show his face while Kidman wrestled. Alfonso had enough and ran out during Kidman's match against Jerry Lynn for the X Division World Championship. Kidman spotted Alfonso while going for the Shooting Star Press, so Lynn capitalized and hit a Cradle Piledriver off the top turnbuckle on Kidman to win the match. Kidman got up and offered a hand shake to Alfonso, but kicked him in the balls, and hit the BK Bomb! The fans were furious at Kidman and wanted Alfonso to get help. After one full month of teasing and preparation, the "Manager of Champions" Bill Alfonso returned with revenge on his mind. As he called out Kidman, the arena erupted as the comeback of the "Suicidal, Homicidal, Genocidal" Sabu ran into the ring, brawled with Kidman, Alfonso set up a table, and Sabu hit a moonsault onto Kidman through the table! CWF's Sabu earned Comeback of the Year.

Earlier I mentioned Hurricane as comedic and winning the International Championship. Well, believe it or not, his hardest times were as the Champ. He would be defending his title a lot, due to unfair match making from Dean Malenko. Hurricane pulled a prank on Malenko, who got outraged, and started using his power to make life as International Champion miserable for Hurricane. He would send him on international tours for weeks, then come back to America for a Championship match, which if he succeeded would have to fight in a Battle Royal. But, no matter how hard Dean tried, a Hurricane went through all his sadistic plans and was always victorious. This led Hurricane to become the Most Inspirational Wrestler in CWF of the year. Dean even once said, "Wassssupwitdat!"

Well, I hope you enjoyed my idea for the Cruiserweight Wrestling Federation. Since the columns are for ever 2-3 weeks, my next column will be in 3 weeks where we have the inaugural show. Thanks and enjoy!

by John Corrigan ..


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