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WRESTLING COLUMNS

Monsters Of Wrestling
March 15, 2006 by John Corrigan


Throughout history there have always been stories of monsters. These fables were used to entertain people and scare the human mind. The Abominable Snowman, Bigfoot, and Loch Ness Monster are all examples of this tradition. However, tradition is always an aspect of wrestling that is disputed. There are many traditions that are carried down through wrestling generations. None, however, like the concept of wrestling monsters. There have been many through the years, all bringing different personalities to the "squared circle." I am here to bring to you now some of these monsters that currently wrestle today.

Abyss - In today's world, evil is always mentioned due to the numerous world affairs and violence. No one thinks of storybook monsters as today's common criminal. However by appearance, there is no one who looks more like the part of a monster than Abyss. After all, his nickname is the "Monster" Abyss! Some refer to him as a weapon of mass destruction, and others refer to him as the most original wrestler in TNA today. Abyss acts like a monster in all aspects of life. He never talks. The TNA favorite only grunts and screams with bursts of anger. He destroys his opponents with a fury of devastating power moves. The "Monster" is most known for risking his body in brutal matches. Most notably, the "Barbed Wire Massacre" at TNA Turning Point. He even needs the "Sinister Minister" James Mitchell to manage and take control of him. He truly strikes fear in his opponents and most importantly, the fans. Don't cross paths with this "Weapon of Mass Destruction" or it will be Doomsday for you!

Kane - The "Big Red Machine" has been dominating the ring for almost a decade. He has battled through all challengers. X-Pac, Undertaker, Shane McMahon, Stone Cold just to name a few. His monster abilities are very obvious. He has survived the most dangerous matches. He defeated The "King of Kings" Triple H in a Steel Chain match. He has endured two Elimination Chambers. He was even ignited with fire in an Inferno match! So with the physical aspects of a monster very clear, it's time to examine the mental aspects. Besides having a very bizarre childhood "I know it's a storyline, but just stick to Kayfabe," Kane has encountered many challenges in the WWE. He has always had women problems from Tori to Terri to the notorious Katie Vick. I enjoyed the "X-Pac and Tori Christmas Story." Kane also had to take off his mask in front of the world. That brought some destruction if you remember. So the man that has walked through "hellfire and brimstone" is arguably the #1 monster on RAW.

Boogeyman - This guy is whacked! He's definitely a monster that scares children. Now, I'm not sure if he's supposed to scare the fans, because only little kids are scared. However, he looks to be a character designed for kids to love. Whatever the case may be, Boogeyman is a true, worm-eating monster. His entrance is spooky. His matches are scary "because they normally suck." Boogeyman is a real monster, and possibly Smackdown's most intimidating superstar.

Well, that's about it for now. The future of monsters doesn't look promising, but you never know. Maybe a new monster is approaching in the world as we speak. He may not be a "Weapon of Mass Destruction", or a "Big Red Machine", and he may not be"Coming to Get You!" But, bet your bottom dollar that anything can happen in the world of pro wrestling!

I am sure I have missed some. Next time I will look at the monsters of the past. If you see any missing, or would like to debate some, please e-mail me at Capncrunch1@aol.com. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

by John Corrigan ..


Kevin Roberts wrote: I think I could name a few more monsters for ya:
Mankind- no, not the loveable Mick Foley in a mask, but the psychotic skitso, Mankind. I mean this guy "lived" in a boiler room for crying out loud. Thumbtacks, barbed wire, cages and oh yeah, the mangled ear makes him monster enough for me.

Papa Shango- my little brother when he saw this guy coming to the ring ........ nuff said.

The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer- duh.

Raven- he "crucified" The Sandman.

Doink The Clown- LOL, have a sense of humor. As a heel though, he was the Pennywise (Stephen King's "It") of the WWF. Mid-card monster for sure.

Mark Henry- Im gonna get it for this one, but Im just glad to see him getting a push before they release him. At least then he wont be a total waste of money.
Cody Chaney wrote:
This was a pretty slim list of your monsters and most of them are up-to-date I mean I love everyone who made the list and even had the pleasure of taking a candid photo with the monster Abyss but might I remind you that there is still more whom need mentioning.

Did you forget Kamala, The Ugandan Giant" That guy sent me behind the chair everytime I seen him, I WAS terrified as a little tike watching Kamala run amuck his strange face paint and wild attitude just made me wanna wet my pants even though as I grew up slapping his fat stomach came as a hilarity to me sense of humor.

Giant Gonzalez well I guess you get his Big Foot angle so you can see his monstrous presence and he done a splendid job battling with another monstrous Undertaker and he did it in style. (damn McMahon landed a near 8'0 tall beast of a man what a gem!). This guy had size and the right manager for his role even though I saw Wippleman as an Eeygore and not Frankenstein.

Nailz the psycho inmate who feuded with the bossman (think of all those inmates whom have escaped and this guy REALLY had a bad attitude) was a personal favorite of mine because his character was original and suited the purpose of battling solefully the Bossman. But this character done well in showing that monstrosity does come not only in fiction but in real life too.

Big Van Vader was scarier than all get out to me for the simple fact he was huge, he was intimidating, and if you guys remember he used to wear that Mastadon mask on his face before you got to see that terrifying look in his eyes now that was a spine-tingling sight to see when he wore than thing.

Lastly, I introduce the earliest of monsters who alike Kamala didn't terrorize me but was freaky as all get out and that fella was the Missing Link his make up and randomly placed hair and strange sounding voice to compliment this bizarre look and persona.

It was a pretty good column I just saw it necessary to squeeze in a few more guys who deserve to this honour of being a few of the monsters of wrestling.
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