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WRESTLING COLUMNS

Over The Ropes 1: Hollywood Or Bust
April 1, 2005 by Paul Jordan


WrestleMania is a week out and it has definitely "gone Hollywood" but is that a good thing" The trailers are without a doubt hilarious. My favorite trailer is the When Harry Met Sally parody with Kurt Angle and Christy Hemme, mainly because Angle looks so stupid in it! Anyway, the promos hyping the event give the feel of WrestleMania as a big budget action movie. My question is: will WrestleMania be a box office smash or a box office flop for the WWE" Well, the only way you can judge a good movie is look at the plot and the actors involved.

Let's start with the Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio match....While this match will be great and no doubt a classic, I would love to have seen a WWE Tag Title Match at ' Mania. The Bashams and Haas & Holly could have been used in a triple threat scenario and you can still complete Guerrero's heel turn. Oh.... well they chose a safe bet. Either way, I can't wait to see this match!

Next, let's talk about the Women's Title match between Champion Trish Stratus and challenger Christy Hemme. While Christy is greener than a garden salad, adding Lita in as her trainer gives some believability that she might be victorious but it's not much. I'm not really expecting much from this match. If Christy wins however, it will be the true "nail in the coffin" for the already dying Women's Division

On to what can only be described as the stupidest match in WrestleMania history, Akebono faces Big Show in a sumo challenge. This idea had to be created during a sake hangover because it makes no damn sense. Hell, Piper vs. Mr. T in a boxing match at WrestleMania 2 at least had some heat on it from the year before. There is no build-up, it just feels slapped together. Big Show should be in the WWE title picture in my opinion but instead they stick with this piece of crap match.

As we go down the card, let's turn our attention to one of the two interbrand matches at this year's WrestleMania. Shawn Michaels faces Kurt Angle in perhaps one of most anticipated matches in WrestleMania history. That's not hype, that's the truth. This is a match that fans and wrestlers alike have been buzzing about since it was rumored last December. And why not" These two are without a doubt the best workers in WWE and to have them in the same ring is no question a wrestling fan's dream. This has "Match of the Year" written all over it.

We now go from anticipation to innovation, as it relates to the six man "Money in the Bank" ladder mach. In this match, the six superstars (Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Shelton Benjamin, Edge, Christian, Kane) try to retrieve a briefcase suspended above the ring. Inside the briefcase, a guaranteed contract for a World Heavyweight Title shot that is valid for a year. Now, I know what all you TNA fans are thinking... this isn't innovative... TNA does this kind of thing all the time. And you're right, they do. But this is a first for WWE and WrestleMania, it should be nothing but chaos. We will love every minute of it!!

The second of the interbrand matches at WrestleMania 21, Randy Orton tries to tarnish the Undertaker's undefeated streak at the granddaddy of them all. While I don't agree with turning Randy Orton heel, I think this match will be monumental. The ultimate clash of two different eras in sports entertainment. Young vs. Old. While Taker is in no way past his prime, his retirement has been rumored for later this year. If that's true, you gotta know, Taker will make it spectacular.

Before I turn my attention to the Heavyweight Title picture at Mania, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the return of Piper's Pit featuring Stone Cold Steve Austin. These two men are perhaps the most controversial men in the business today. Add live mics. Do I have to say any more"

JBL defends his WWE title against John Cena at WrestleMania 21. I will tell you straight out, I hate JBL as the champion. His 10 month reign has gone on way too long and in my opinion is SmackDown!'s biggest detriment. Hopefully, the powers that be will see fit to give the Doctor of Thuganomics Thursday's biggest prize. Match wise, I don't think this will be anything special.

On the RAW side, HHH vs. Batista for the World Title is charged with emotion. The tension between these two superstars has been building for months. Batista has showed his dominance over HHH in recent weeks. But you have to believe the Cerebral Assassin will have a plan to tranquilize the Animal. This will be intense. Hard hitting and unstoppable.

Well it looks like WrestleMania will be a great show!

by Paul Jordan ..


HirokishuKeita wrote:
Nice column, slightly stale though, just sounds like a little commercial from a fan. -|- I agree with your comment about the first match. Rather than wasting our time with Eddie/Mysterio against each other, have the two defend the titles and lose them against either the Bashams or Haas/Holly so the two can face off at the next ppv. -|- The Women's title match has gotten a little decent. With Christy learning how to wrestle, she could surprise us with a few moves. However if she wins without cheating.. it's a dud. -|- As for the Sumo match, what you just said is perfect example at how Americans don't like a little different culture. If this match goes on as a shoot (rather than scripted) then it could be interesting and surprisingly short. I watched some sumo matches before and they can get interesting. However, a loss can hurt either contender's career. -|- The Shawn/Angle match. Perfectly said, nothing more needed. -|- The six man ladder match has me slightly ticked. I still say they should have removed Benjamin and add in Snitsky so Benjamin can defend his title against Hassan. Other than that, this match has a promise to be electrifying. -|- The Undertaker/Orton match.. very tense subject and should be an exciting match. You said it perfectly when stating, "The ultimate clash of two different eras in sports entertainment." -|- The JBL/Cena match is a promised dud. I personally enjoy JBL as a champion and thought he's been entertaining, but I agree it's time for him to lose it. I hated how they chose Cena, but however it is understandable they chose Cena. The overall public enjoy watching the Doctor of Thuganomics and I admit, it's a smart move to push him. The reason this match will be a dud, however, is the skill of the two. Cena isn't used to getting beaten around in the ring so he's going to dominate the match while JBL has to rely on his dirty tactics. However Cena's not going to fall for any of them and everything JBL tries to put over ends up failing. That gets boring after weeks of watching tht happen, admit it, last Smackdown was the only time JBL got the better of Cena. Cena becoming champion is a smart move to keep fans interested, but a disappointment for those expecting an exciting and suspensful match. -|- The Batista/Trips match has one word written on it... classic. If played right this match can go on as the second or third best match of the night. Batista has raw power while Trips has clever tactics. Of course, a WM won't be complete without a swerve so watch out for the Naitch to choose a side during this match. -|- I give this blockbuster hit a total of 8.5 out of 10 possible stars. What will the real outcome be" LEts find out.
Brendan R. wrote:
To start off I think Eddie versus Mysterio will be a pretty good match but they're the tag champs. So i agree with you they should defend the titles in some match like them versus The bashams and Holly and Haas.

As for the womens title match WWE is going to let someone like you said "greener than a garden salad" fight Trish. Well the womens division has never been made to be an attraction by WWE. So it doesn't surprise me that they Christy be in that match just because she won a stupid diva search contest where they wern't even looking for athletes but girls that could be put in playboy to fight Trish. So the match should be bad and bore the audience but maybe some day WWE can finally make something out of the womens division if they get athletes and not sluts but the chances of that look pretty slim.

Akebono versus Big Show, well I think this is a big waste of time. This is something i'd want to see on SD! during a time where they weren't going to have any matches in the first place. I'd want to see it but when i watch wrestling i don't want drama or something like this type of match thing to take up the wrestling time. I like drama and a match like Akebono versus Big Show but I wouldn't choose it over the wrestling any day. Also what makes me mad is that WWE has talent like Willaim Regal and they arn't doing anything with them except putting them on Heat (I personally like Heat because I watch wrestling whenever wherever I can but alot of people dont). Him and Tajiri are great in the ring but WWE isn't doing anything with them on Raw where they'd get the most exposure to fans. So simply this match shouldn't be at Wrestle Mania.

Now Shawn VS. Kurt that should be a good match both of these guys are good in the ring especially Angle. I thought this and the money in the bank match sounded the best for the show but the only thing that made me not anticipate this match as much was the fact that i don't like Michaels. Just put that aside for a minute actually pretend I like Michaels I still wouldn't anticipate this match as much only because Michaels has been using people as stepping stones all his career. He says he's been making stars but how can you make someone if you beat them in the fued like how he beat Christian in there short fued. My brothers say Shawn lost the feud with Edge because he lost at the Rumble but he wanted to protect his spot so he beats him in a street fight soon after on a Raw. So thats what I was wondering if he'd beat Kurt to protect his spot. HEY i don't care if he wins, it matters how he wins. If he just beats angle no really problem I'll be pissed but if he beats him and they both fought super hard and it seems like he had to really go out to beat him so his not hurting Angles spot them I don't care. Even if it hurt his spot alittle i wouldn't care but don't beat Angle and make him seem like he doesn't compare to HBK.

As for the 6 man Money in the bank ladder match it should be good. If they hit some good spots and do them at the right times it should be a good match. I just dont like the name "MONEY IN THE BANK" but it should be a good match.

Randy Orton versus the Undertaker while the outcome was obvious. I wanted to see this match but Taker is past his prime and needs to start making stars with the next generation. Sam problem with him as HBK Taker beat Luther he Heidenreich when he fueded with them which isn't helping anyone Taker has secured his spot and Wrestlemania legacy he can start making new stars. Orton still in my opinion has not reached his prime and I think the match should be good. So I want to see it but Take now needs to step down his time is done.

Alot of people are looking foreward to seeing the Pipers Pit segment. I like Piper and hate Austin but both have had many moments that I'll never forget. The reason I'm not looking foreward to this is because I can just guess what is going to happen. Piper and Austin are going to exchange words than stunners and beer for everyone. While I was right and wrong, there were Stunners and Beer but there was also Carlito coming out and I pictured him doing the Stunner then drinking beer which he did, but he had a beer with Piper before the Stunner. So i was right and wrong but everyone new something like that was going to happen some how so it was not shocking or anything. So during this time they could of had a match maybe not a long one but it'd be better than this.

While on the topic of non-match Wrestlemania things I don't understand why Hogan and Hassan didn't have an actual match they just brawled. All over various sites they new Higan would have some Wrestlemania role with Hassan but it could have been better if they had a match. OH I know why they didn't have a match because Hogan is such a crappy wrestler it'd make Hassan look bad even thogh he's good LOL. Hogan only can do a few moves and puching is one of them.

The Cena Match should be average nothing special. Thats all I really have to say for that one. Surprisingly because i loathe Cena.

As for the main event I still don't think this match was as hyped as it could have been. The match should be average but I know what well happen for whoever wins. Well since Batista actually did win I'll say what I know will happen now In a Month or maybe two months (I dont think it'll even be 2 months), HHH will win the title back because he has a good backstage voice he'll just make WWE give him his tittle back.

Now I haven't seen WrestleMania yet (I don't have a satelite or box) because i wasn't allowed to go to the theatre and see it, or even buy it on the computer. So I just know who won and some details. After I see the whole event which should be soon I may change some of what i wrote or confirm some of what i wrote. So anyway this is just my opinion on this years WrestleMania.
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