The Drunk Clown Reviews Summerslam
August 25, 2003 by Vito "The Drunk Clown"

The opening video set the tone for a big event to take place, but it looks as if that momentum will have to wait for a few matches...

World Tag Titles: La Resistance vs The Dudleyz

This really wasn't what I wanted to see open the card, in fact I would have liked to see it open Heat. Dupree's look reminds me a lot of the late British Bulldog, is it just me" There was really nothing of interest for the bulk of this match, but I will say it was a creative way to have Conway interfere. I think most fans are just bored by the ongoing title reign of La Resistance and their feud with the Dudleys.

Undertaker vs A-Train

Things just go from boring to awful. WWE really weren't being too careful spreading out these boring matches. Then again, they shouldn't be booking them! The ref did an impressive back flip off Taker's clothesline, but he kept recovering relatively fast. He must be SuperRef.

One thing that bothers me about the current generation of wrestlers is when they hold a chair with the flatter side facing them and think they actually have the fans fooled. You always know a Van Daminator or big boot is coming when they do that! They really need to think of a better way to do it. The match was as average as expected, but what was the deal with Sable's uncreative explanation for being at ringside" If she's a perk from Mr McMahon, wouldn't she at least attempt to help A-Train win" She did save him from a Last Ride that I'm sure would have been devastating and possible. Cole was pushing the point that Taker and Steph looked good out there together, so I'm guessing there's a mixed tag planned.

Eric Bischoff vs Shane McMahon

Whilst I'm nitpicking on obvious chair spots, what is the deal with people continue their mic work 3-5 seconds over the start of someone's entrance theme, only then to act as if they were just rudely interrupted" Shane's music had hit the second "here comes the money" before Bischoff acknowledged the music and stopped talking. That wouldn't matter, if he didn't act shocked at that moment too.

I had a grin that was touching my hairline when Coach was revealed as the attacker of Shane-O-Mac. Finally Coach is getting the heat he deserves. He's better than Jim Ross these days, whether that's a compliment or not! This match had very little action, but the story throughout it was entertaining and Shane gave us a crowd pleasing finish. Now Shane-O can move on to seeking vengeance on the big red machine.

United States Title - Fatal Four Way: Eddy Guerrero vs Tajiri vs Chris Benoit vs Rhyno

The new rule of all four men competing at once sounds considerably more exciting than the usual. It seemed Tajiri surprised a lot of the fans with his picture perfect German suplex on Benoit. I can't recall him using that on any non-cruiserweight competitors before, but I could be wrong. This match deserved a lot more time than it got, but it was awesome with what it was given. Tajiri really gave me a fright taking a shocking fall to the outside in the closing moments of the match and I really must check the news boards to check on his condition. Eddie Guerrero retains.

WWE Title: Kurt Angle vs Brock Lesnar

It was wise for these two to start off with a slower pace, really let the fans get into the match. It was effective too, as the fans responded enthusiastically to the action. Lesnar's stalling fisherman suplex was a feat. Then Lesnar outdoes himself with an F5 on one freakin' leg! Why do I get the feeling Lesnar makes (and wins) a lot of backstage bets" Perhaps Zach made this one with him. Sweat was running right down the faces of both men as they gave us near fall after near fall, putting together some exciting action. The finish was great, with a lot of potential for the feud to continue with Lesnar being even more out of control. The Angle Slam through the chair was absolutely brutal. I don't know what motivates McMahon, but looking at Shane, it must be in their blood.

Kane vs Rob Van Dam

Van Dam gave Kane a high crossbody over the ropes, taken straight out of Shane's playbook and very effective. Kane's botch off the top rope was hilarious, I was beside myself, but at the same time I felt so bad for Jacobs. It would have been humiliating and it takes away from the intense nature of the match. I felt this match fell a little flat. It told it's story of Van Dam throwing all he could at Kane and it not being enough, but it didn't tell that story in an enthralling way. Kane wins it cleanly, allowing him to move on to the hopeful Shane feud.

World Title Elimination Chamber - Triple H vs Randy Orton vs HBK vs Kevin Nash vs Goldberg vs Y2J

You can tell Goldberg is in a good mood when he busts into an impromptu break dance during his entrance. To Goldberg's credit, the fans were very into him on this night. It seemed as if this kind of match was made for the man. He had the crowd roaring in a frenzy as he drove Orton through the mat with a press slam-spinebuster, pressing Jericho over the ropes into the chains and spear Jericho through the glass. Michaels super kicked Diesel's title dreams away and I got flashbacks of Royal Rumble 1997.

Hunter getting super kicked straight back into his chamber was not only funny, but it gave him an excuse to keep out of action for a while longer. As soon as that happened Nash snapped and all hell broke loose. Orton is eliminated without having any contact with Hunter, which took away the interesting possibility of conflict between them, but it left Evolution in tact. Goldberg tore through the line-up, unfortunately including my hopeful tip of Chris Jericho. I wonder if he will ever again hold the gold. It's actually not very likely in my opinion. We can't be surprised that Hunter held on to the gold, but we can all at least be happy that it was handled well (unless you don't think it was...).

Over all i think the show lacked the sort of "magic" the bigger shows usually have (no matter what year it is), This year's SummerSlam reminded me of just another "other" PPV (backlash, judgement day).

I hope that with the episode of Raw i just finished watching, that the Raw crew can build some sort of a better product than what they had at the last "raw only" PPV , Tonights raw had nothing ver special about it at all, except they just came off the so called "summer spectacular" , i hope with some of the "mini episodes we seen tonight we will see some decent match come through the works for the "raw only" PPV, i would like to see some "lower than mid carders" get a spot on the PPV instead of worthless nimrod's like (orton, dudleys, booker, and a few others), but anyways raw completed did nothing for me on the "wait until next PPV" feeling, all it did for me was make me wait for the decent Smackdown that should come out of tomorrow night's taping (for all the dumb sheep out there it is taped on tuesday), Well, until the next time (which should be very soon, This has been great, see ya on the other side,

by Vito "the Drunk Clown"


If you have any comments, reactions, rebuttles or thoughts on this column, feel free to send them to the email below,
If your email is intelligently written, they will be posted underneath this messege..
We at OnlineWorldofWrestling want to promote all points of view, and that includes YOURS.

© 2015, Black Pants, Inc. All other trademarks are property of their respective holders.