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Shame On You Sid, Look What You've Done!
May 26, 2006 by Zach Urquhart

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My name is Zach Urquhart, and I am a first time columnist here, though I have written small articles for everything from school papers to promotional magazines to educational pamphlets in my days as a History major/English minor. That to say, this may be an awful article, but, I hope, it should at least be grammatically correct and highly readable.

Recently, I wrote an article for the Fan Jam section about The Great Khali, namely it focused on how bad his squashing of the Undertaker is for wrestling in general. Writing that small post, and reading it on Fan Jam, got me to thinking: There are too many successful wrestlers who are essentially large men that move like they have something up their butts. I do not say this to be crude, or for "shock-value;" rather, I use this phraseology because these are the only words that make sense in my mind.

Looking at pictures of wrestlers from back in the day (meaning the black and whites where you recognize the name, but not the face), there were a few main type of wrestler's bodies. There were, it seems, many men who were simply big and likely their wrestling genius was in the way they could pick up another man and slam him to the mat with authority. I am not looking down on this time of wrestling, but I will say I am glad to live now, where we get to see men jump of the top of steel cages, risking their body to electrify the crowd. Men like Sid, Khali, and others we'll get to soon are perfect wrestlers, had they been doing so in the 40's.

Wrestling has changed, good or bad, and it is a different athlete now that excites the fans. As soon as the early 1980's, before that I cannot attest, I was only a wee one, WWF Superstars began using the ropes as launching pads, making wrestling not just technical moves inside the square, but all over the arena. Nowadays, There are several types of wrestler: high flyers (Rey and most cruiserweights), technical masters (that still fly a lot i.e. Shawn Michaels), powerful but mobile workhorses (most champions are this type - think HHH, John Cena, Angle, etc), and powerful but less mobile monsters (Big Show for example). Even the Paul Wight's of the business can show a technical ability though (think Show vs. Kane a few weeks ago on RAW). While I loved watching Kane squash Trevor Murdoch the other night (did anyone else notice the orange on Kane's belly button - I think Murdoch's hair color rubbed off), I would not love it if that was all he could do. In this day of the business, there should be no room for the Great Khali's of the world, they are dull and the whole "I can beat up anybody" angle gets stale quickly.

I would like to place the blame for this problem squarely on one man's shoulders, I think he deserves it well enough: Shame on you Sid! Let us look past his annoying accent (I am a southerner myself, but unless it's part of his gimmick, I don't care to hear all that twang in his promos), his hair (seriously, the curly mullet/jerry curl does not work ever!), and his kicking out in a title fight against script. The fact is, Sid sucked as a wrestling personality. Around the same time as Sid, there was a man I would have believed as his brother named "Iron" Mike Sharpe (I remember him both with and without the nickname, I don't know when WWF gave it to him). Sharpe was what a man like himself should have been, a jobber. Using a big man that can't move very well as a jobber is great - a victory over him is "remarkable" because he is so big and powerful. Even having him win a match once a year makes sense, he's so big, he's bound to win once in a blue moon. But, having a man who can't really move around the ring with any flow or grace,(as they did with Sid) is disgusting.

It is certainly not all Sid's fault, he did not force them to push him, but for the sake of a great enterprise, he should have denied their push. The conversation could have gone something like this (I don't know who was in charge when he got his first push, so we'll use VM for the sake of argument):

VM: Sid good news!

Sid: You found a doctor to remove the stick from my ---!" Or, they decided to make a new line of haircare with my endorsement" Or, I get to move out of Hogan's basement"

VM: Uh...no...We decided we want to push you as a new bigtime champion!

Sid: But I move like a constipated duck. Is my new angle going to be me having hemorrhoids"

VM: Um, no, you're just going to power bomb your way to the top!

Sid: But the fans won't go for that, I suck!

VM: Nonsense! If I can later beat Stone Cold Steve Austin (the man has foreknowledge lets just pretend), surely a man of your size can beat the top dogs of the business.

Sid: Well, I guess if you say so. I mean, it's pretty amazing for me to go from coffee guy to champ in only a few months. Well, do I have to cut my amazing hair"!

VM: No, the people love it! You look like a blonde Chia Pet!

(Days Later) Sid: Boss, I can't do it, the people deserve someone who can go thirty minutes without a booze break. I owe it to the people Boss, I won't be champ...

(Sid is fired, moving back to New Mexico to undergo nuclear testing, but the people never have to deal with him holding a gold belt)

Seriously, what would have been wrong with that" Well, thanks to Sid, now we have more of the same. The most obvious example is Khali - who was great as a big scary guy in The Longest Yard, but not so much as being able to beat Taker so badly. Khali would be great as a bodyguard type, or an enforcer for MNM or something. The problem is that by "killing" Taker (and Rey for that matter), SmackDown! is almost stuck making him the next champ. We know nobody wants that, so the WWE really stuck themselves in the foot by giving him such success so quickly.

Another example used to be Snitsky, but with Goldie and the whole foot thing, they're at least doing something with his character. I thought it was funny when he referred to killing Kane's fetus the other night (almost like in Pulp Fiction where the caf� scenes don't match). But he is improving for sure. WWE did well with him too, in that his big start was in feuding with Kane - a great athlete, wrestler, but not a top star in the rankings. Unlike Khali, they started Snitsky off with a manageable challenge in Kane, instead of Orton/HHH/Shawn Michaels.

There are examples, too, of the company giving these putzes success and prestige, then realizing their error and fixing the problem. This happened with Tyson Tomko. He started as more of a bodyguard type with Christian which made sense. (Keep in mind, I am not trying to say there is no place for big men that can't move in the business at all, just not as successful singles competitors) But then he started getting a little success on his own, and that was a big mistake. Yes, he was big, and the tattoes looked cool, but he did not move like an athlete. Luckily, they have realized their error here, and he is gone!

Another prime example is Crush aka Bryan Adams. Luckily, the WWF and WCW never really let him break out as a success. At one point though, before the nWo got tiers, which he was on the bottom of, it seemed he'd be another big man without any talent, but with gold and success far from due his ability. I also remember Giant Gonzales, a huge flop. I think WWE did well in seeing his lack of potential quickly, but they did start him by feuding with Taker. He won his first match with him, but only because he cheated (chloroform). The WWE saw the error and had him lose shortly after, and he never go any steam from there.

There have been countless examples of big, immobile men coming into the WCW or WWE, getting a little room, and flopping. But every now and then, the company makes a mistake, such as with Sid and Khali. I know there are more examples out there, but I didn't realize how long this would get quickly, so I should end now. Please feel free to comment, just don't outright disagree with me, that's disrespectful.

by Zach Urquhart ..

Sam wrote:
Whilst it is true that wrestling has become more entertaining in respect of high flyers and death-defying moves, you still need the big guys to be there to be goliath to the high flying David. Lots of highflyers jumping around the ring would become stale, you need big guys in there to every once in a while take these guys down a peg or two to help build stories. Some have been truly awful (Adam Bomb anyone") the same can be said for high flyers as well (K Kwick anyone"). Wrestling needs characters from all backgrounds and sizes. Andre the giant was not the most agile man in the business, but he is one of the most famous stars of wrestling. There have been too many 'bodyguard' beginnings for big wrestlers (Tyson Tomko, Luther Reigns,Diesel and Virgil (oh dear, how did he slip in there")) there does need to be a new angle to introduce the behemoths. Kahli's is poorly done agreed, as he demolished stars any heavyweight has beaten, nothing special at all. The greatest big star to truly make it is undertaker. He is big, and to begin with he was a slow moving wrestler with very little moves and beat up nobody's, using psychological means to defeat his opponents before the match. He has become more mobile over the years, but in the beginning when he was the slow stalking lumbering deadman, he was at his best. Big stars are needed, and they do need to be brickhouses and demolish opponents without breaking into a sweat, because of this it leads into classic matches of all time, ... Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan Wrestling (or well JR) needs the following phrase, it sums up wrestling, our hopes for the underdog...

"It's the unstoppable object versus the immovable wall"

John wrote:
Big men have flopped, but there have also been many successes. Big Show was WCW World Heavyweight Champion in his 1st year. He was a big monster, who could throw dropkicks and also could give a technical exhibition. He was no flop at all. Kane is definitely no flop. He flies off the top rope every match. He is also great with storylines. Now, He's a freakin movie star! Undertaker has been the biggest star forever. Really, it's that simple. He's very entertaining and he's just the Phenom. Those are just a few that come to mind. Your column was good.

John Faria wrote:
Very valid, interesting column. How do you think Andre The Giant would go over in toady's WWE" Being big and immobile is one thing, but Andre was a true biological giant. Sad to say, but I think Andre would be more of a David Vs Goliath mid-card angle, with the smaller embarrassing the giant. Times have changed, I am just glad Andre was in the right place at the right time.

Christopher Powell wrote: Very funny article, I thoroughly enjoyed it. You're right, man, that Khali dude does walk like someone shoved a stick where the sun don't shine. All in all, a great article. (I did notice what happened with Murdoch's hair. Didn't he used to be blond")

"The Real Wrestling God" Kenny C. wrote:
I just want to add another name to the list of big men who get a push (or multiple pushes in some cases) and that name would have to be the monsterous disaster in Mark Henry. Another case where some 400+ pound meathead is given a push (repeatedly) while others like Carlito, RVD and Christian, before he went to TNA, are left in the wasteland known as the mid-card.

DonPhilip...outta GeR RRmoney ;) wrote:
no reply on this undoubtedly interesting article so far as i see. well beyond question this is really an issue that often comes to mind when thinking about wrestling and it's athletes. "is bigger better"" in some ways i absolutely agree with what is written down in this article, but i think that large sized wrestlers in general are bashed a bit too much in it. thati s why because i think, that on every wrestling event there ever was, is, and will be, a good mixture on the card is what it should be as for a fans interests. that means that also high flyers, great technicians as well as oversized powerhouses should be presented in each of their personal best ways. well i mean, just think of it, watching a chris benoit performing his german suplex&nb! sp;series, or trying to follow rey`s actions inside the squared circle while he moves quick as a lightning through the scene is truly great and i guess that none of us ever want to miss those things. but let's be honest, what would a COMPLETE wrestling event be like, without any of those big man, tossing other men`s bodies around as if they were nothing but a peanut to them!" it is simply that "wow effect" that is needed, which is delivered by men like khali just by looking at him.

without all of those gigantic men, to some, wrestling could seem as if anybody of us could step into the ring just by having some experiences in any athletic sports or martial arts.

looking closer at how some of them were and still are portrayed in current storylines, such as khali having an almost "warm up win" on a true legend like the undertaker, is truly questionable, but that is lack of adequate booking.

but to keep this one right here on the topic, wrestli! ng must have it's khalis, big shows ect. !

Tunza Fun wrote:
In response to the comment about Tyson Tomko, he ASKED for his release so he could go to Japan and attempt to learn different styles to become a better wrestler.

Billy Bob wrote:
OK i'm not going to outright disagree with you because you do make a good point. However, you have to realize one thing which im sure you already do, in wrestling size matters. Is Sid wrestlings biggest bufoon" Yes. Can Sid work a halfway decent match" Not on this planet. But Sid has a great monster look and he went far in the business because monsters always work. I remember one of things that got me into wrestling was Giant Gonzales. Well maybe it wasn't just him that got me into it but I remember watching a clip from Wrestlemania and seeing fight The Undertaker, all I could say was wow. Wrestling promotions usually want that larger than life feel and guys like Sid and Gonzales gave them that. Do these men deserve to be in the hall of fame" No. But with a great monster look your bound to go far in the wrestling business. Thats just my opinion, great column though.

Bobby314 wrote:
This is the most ill informed article I think I have read yet...How in the world can you say that Sid is to blame for your disdain for large wrestlers" Do you think he has a factory where he builds them, and distributes them across the world to annoy you" And do you realize that there was pro wrestling before Sid stepped into the ring for the first time" O and by the way, do you know why Sid was given his first real push, (in WCW, by the way, not WWF) in 1990". Well, do you" Obviously not. It was because the fans were cheering their lungs out for him everytime he stepped into the arena. O my god, the promoters listened to the fans, and gave them what they wanted...how dare they!!!! And what is this garbage about shooting in title matches. Are you refering to the Hulk v Sid match at WM VIII" Because if you are, 1) it wasn't a title match, and 2) he kicked out of the leg drop to buy some time for Papa Shango, who missed his cue to get to the ring and break up the pinfall. Got to do your homework. As for your concerns about The Great Khali, he isn't going to be the World Champion...he is here as fodder for someone, and if it isn't 'Taker, than it's Batista or maybe Bobby Lashely. He will serve a huge purpose to someone on the roster. There is a huge market for giant wrestlers such as Khali, and Gonzalaz, or Andre or Big John Studd, or Big Show, and it has nothing to do with "work rate"...it has to do with selling tickets. I have two kids, and do you know who they think is the most awesome wrestler is right now" Great Khali. Yep, they are mightily impressed with his size, and couldn't give a shit less about his inability to throw a dropkick or how immobile he is...they just know he's really, really big. And that is sometimes all you need. Disrespectful or not, I couldn't disagree with you more.

D Cardosa wrote:
I think you have a point. Instead of just letting big guys demolish their opponents you should let them show off their technical/ring prowess if they have any. They should also push guys who can move and entertain. Such examples lie with Batista, Umaga, and Bobby Lashley. Batista can crush his opponents but he can move around the ring and can really sell a feud. Also he really makes his opponents look good in the ring. Umaga, if no one noticed is Ed Fatu the same guy who played Jamal but for a big guy he can really manuever in the ring and is pretty inovative in the ring. Also his character Umaga is great. He has a funny manager and is really entertaining. (Although if Umaga allowed Ric Flair to work a bit more it would have seemed better for his ability.) In Lashley's case like they say Hard Hitting and Soft spoken and that is a great persona and his ameteur background tells us he can get it done. but by being Hard Hitting and Soft Spoken we just want wait to see his mike skills develop and has us coming back for more. That is just my opinion on the Sid article.

Zach Urquhart (Original Author) wrote: I want to respond to a few of you that hit my article, both good and bad...

First, in case you couldn't tell from the faux conversation b/t sid and VM, this was meant to be humourous first, and insightful second...that being said, i did not mean to imply that I saw no place for large men at all - like the big show, kane etc. rather, i just don't like seeing the ones with no mobility on the highest pedestals...

as far as Andre the Giant...i was wondering the same thing john...I think b/c, as someone metioned, he is so freakishly huge, I think he would have worked well still now, but it might be best for him that he was wrestling back then...we may never know...

Dio wrote:
I think you have a point. Instead of just letting big guys demolish their opponents you should let them show off their technical/ring prowess if they have any. They should also push guys who can move and entertain. Such examples lie with Batista, Umaga, and Bobby Lashley. Batista can crush his opponents but he can move around the ring and can really sell a feud. Also he really makes his opponents look good in the ring. Umaga, if no one noticed is Ed Fatu the same guy who played Jamal but for a big guy he can really manuever in the ring and is pretty inovative in the ring. Also his character Umaga is great. He has a funny manager and is really entertaining. (Although if Umaga allowed Ric Flair to work a bit more it would have seemed better for his ability.) In Lashley's case like they say Hard Hitting and Soft spoken and that is a great persona and his ameteur background tells us he can get it done. but by being Hard Hitting and Soft Spoken we just want wait to see his mike skills develop and has us coming back for more. That is just my opinion on the Sid article.

wrote:

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