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WRESTLING COLUMNS

Thoughts of An Enforcer (3rd Edition)
May 14, 2003 - by "Enforcer" Steve Anderson

AAlrighty then all you illiterate, wish there was really such a thing as a "Smark", Jeff Hardy sexual orientation wanna-be, I.Q. size lower than Mr. Potatohead morons, are we ready to talk about PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING? Well then for the very few who are capable of enough to even understand the words that I've written here in the column today, let's talk wrestling!

Well I know the website says, "Online World of Wrestling", but as difficult as this might be for many of you to swallow, outside of professional wrestling, I do have a life in the outside world far away from the internet with recording a weekly television show. That's right, I said a T.V. show! Not only do I have the intellectual capacity that the majority of you unfortunately lack to make in the world of tomorrow, but I've also got the rugged good looks of a billion actors! Watch out Crock, there's a new star rolling into town bitch! So as I was saying to you, there's more to my life than just sitting on the internet whacking off to pictures of old ladies!

Well enough said about that. What I want to talk about is something that really threw me for a loop when I heard of it. This is something I honestly thought could never happen again. The WW..."E"...As you see I still hate that initial...but we will see the return of the Intercontinental Championship. Now of course for most of you who have only been watching wrestling for a short time, you're wondering what exactly is the big damn deal about the Intercontinental Championship?! Well for you uneducated and so-called "Smarks"...God I hate that word...Let me bring you to speed. The Intercontinental Championship has been a huge part of the WW..."E"...Damn I hate saying that...but it's been a monumental piece of history within World Wrestling since its creation brought in part by the late Vincent McMahon Sr. Many whom have gone on to become World Champion were at one time an Intercontinental Champion. Why World Wrestling would actually allow some shit-for-brain to throw it into the garbage is far beyond me. Many sources including himself in an off record interview stated he was "...too good for the Intercontinental Championship!" which resulted in the Worlds Championship being put on the waist of what I'd like to ON THE RECORD refer to as a "Locker Room Cock Jobber" we've all known and loved...Yeah Right...named HHH. If you cannot add what three "H's" stand for, it's Triple H. For what seems like a decade now, we've seen this hemoroid on television along with his new ventrilquist dummy in the better form of sixteen time World Champion, Ric Flair, walk to the ring with "Penetration" Triple H basically just about get ready to drop on all fours and blow the man by saying, "You're the champ...Whoooooo!" I mean what in the hell is this shit?! Well anyways, about the Intercontinental Championship, this is a belt that has brought many in World Wrestling to the top. As of right now, I don't know who is to be credited for the return of the Intercontinental Championship, but Kudos to them!

Does this mean that they'll grow some balls and just drop the "World Championship" off of RAW programming? Course not! But what joy it would be if you shit for brained idiots would recognize that you're minds have been turned into mush and that what you're watching isn't professional wrestling. Well all I can say is that I'll be watching the PPV this weekend with my friends in anticipation to see just whom will walk away with the Intercontinental Championship. I know that this battle royale is open to all whom have held the championship. It is a crying shame that my personal pick for whom is best to represent the championship will not be at this PPV and that man is none other than one of my heros, William Regal. Oh I can imagine how you're sitting there pissing in your Depends and saying, "He sucks!" and "Blow it out your ass!" Well like it or not, the man can WRESTLE and if I was calling the shots, that would be your Intercontinental Champion. Well I'm going to call it a day here at OnlineWorldofWrestling.com but before I go, be sure to visit http://ch14.homestead.com to see this show in which I'm THE STAR! That's right. Well it's co-hosted with these two lug-nut knuckle heads who think they're the stars, but really we all know that I make the show what it's all about! Anyways, send them some fan mail and you can at least tell them you're having their baby or something! Oh if you send fan mail, at least send VanBeckum some love letters telling how you want to have his baby or something. Stroke his ego! Just don't tell him I sent ya'. What it would mean if his heart was broken that someone didn't really want to have sex with him. I'm only kidding! God am I an ass or what?!? Well visit that link. Well I got women to do and places to see! Until next time it's off to the bar. Shaboooooooooom Daddy!


wrote:

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