WOW Women Of Wrestling
Wow! That Sucked!
May 24, 2003 - by Emer Prevost
In fact, one might be compelled to think that McLane knew he was polishing turds
here and was hoping to get an audience solely on camp value. How do you think I
started watching it; the storylines? I think not. It was because I needed a
wrestlecrap fix at 11p.m. on a Saturday night, and I stumbled upon WOW. The
only reason I kept watching was to see how laughably bad it could get the next
week. And, each week was like a bad car wreck, you could only stare and you
couldn't look away. And most of the humor came from these nonsensical comic
book like characters that came to life in that ring with the lavender mat and
the white ropes and put fans to sleep weekly.
Picture it, California, the year 2000 (I would use the Wayback, but it's in the
shop after my last three articles), David McLane had a dream. His dream, to
make an all-female wrestling promotion. Well, he did make the promotion, but it
wasn't at all good. In fact, in certain cases, it was so bad, it was funny.
The Women Of Wrestling (WOW) promotion had everything needed to be a syndicated
wrestling company: ring, arena, Lee Marshall on commentary, writers, wrestlers,
guard rails, referees, and a stage. But, the talent wasn't all that good and
the writing was a joke.
I guess that the wrestlers weren't that bad, it was just that they were all
saddled with such terrible characters and gimmicks that they would make the Repo
Man, Bastion Booger, Shockmaster, and even Oz look like great characters in
Come on, how can someone think that a Xena superfan (Tanja, Warrior Woman), a
schizophrenic (Jacklyn Hyde), a hick (Becky, The Farmer's Daughter), a woman
banned from the WNBA for excessive violence (Slam Dunk), cheerleaders (Randi Rah
Rah & Patti Pep of Team Spirit), a cowgirl (Bronco Billie) or a dancer turned
secret agent (Jane Blond) be a good idea?
These are just some of the bad characters that WOW churned out every week. Most
of the names were just stupid puns. Besides Jacklyn Hyde, there were three tag
teams that were full of rotten puns and lack of talent.
We had Caged Heat, which consisted of ex-cons Loca, Vendetta (so far, so good),
and Delta Lotta Pain. I kid you not, there is a character named Delta Lotta
Pain. These characters were as close to Nailz clones as you can get. And, to
make things worse, Loca was your stereotypical Latina fighter with a fiery
temper. Not much is known about Vendetta, because she was with the company all
of a few months, then WOW shut their doors.
Among the other characters, we had Wendi Wheels (a wrestling racecar driver...
de-ja-vu), Jungle Grrrl (from the African jungles, and yes that is Grrrl with no
i and three r's), the Disciplinarian (a wrestler from the board of education...
de-ja-vu again), "The Total Athlete" Roxy Powers (if you need help figuring out
the "inspiration" for this reject, then stop reading, you are beyond help),
"Hammerin'" Heather Steele (a female Tim Allen [insert feminine grunting]), and
Lana Star (a rising Hollywood star). Like I said, most of these characters
weren't winners from the word go. No matter what David McLane could have tried,
no one was really going to look at these shallow, 2D characters as anything more
than a joke.
The second team is Harley's Angels (a stupid enough name to begin with), which
consisted of Charlie Davidson (dear God, it's almost painful writing a name that
damn stupid) and EZ Rider (not nearly as painful to write, but painful none the
less). Harley's Angels were joined by WOWs top heel, Thug. I'll cover Thug a
And finally, there was Law & Order, which was a team of female Big Bossman
wannabes named Nicky Law and Christy Order (thus the name Law & Order). Again,
I really don't know much about Law & Order, because they came in really close to
The biggest feud in WOW history was between Selina Majors and Thug. I guess
that McLane knew that the only way to get the seats to fill would be to get some
established female talent. Nothing gets more established than Rockin' Robin
(Selina Majors) and Peggy Lee Leather (Thug). Well, okay, so Robin isn't really
a great star and Peggy is from one of McLane's other failed all women's
promotions (POWW, which somehow stands for Powerful Women Of Wrestling), but I
don't think WOW could get anyone better.
The other characters in the company had real bland, generic names like Riot,
Danger, Poison, Phantom, and Ice Cold. Like the unoriginality of the names,
these characters really didn't do much in WOW history, except Ice Cold, who lost
a hair vs. hair match with Lana Star and wrestled WOWs last months balder than a
What's worse than the names of the characters was the name of the finishing
moves. Sure, they all were WWE standards, but the WOW names for them were
terrible. Like Thug's Last Call was a Vader Bomb, and the Disciplinarian's
Final Exam was a Pedigree. In fact, you would see a lot of really great moves,
just with horrid names. Terri Gold (the WOW Champ) had a moonsault that she
called the Perfect 10. Caged Heat utilized a 3D and called it Capital
Punishment. Caged Heat also used the Hart Foundation's old Hart Attack move and
called it the Drive-By. Oh, and there was also Selina Majors' Stunner and Slam
Dunk's Chokeslam, so it seems that decent names do spring up, just not often.
Speaking of Selina Majors...
It all started with the first show, when Thug and Harley's Angels attacked
Selina Majors. Selina had to heal from the "extremely serious" knee injury, and
was back in a few weeks. She wanted to get to Thug, but that didn't happen
soon. First, Majors had to fight EZ Rider and Charlie Davidson in matches.
Mind you, these matches were mind numbingly bad, so you can imagine how two
weeks in a row headlined by Selina Majors against any one member of Harley's
Angels. Anyway, Selina finally got her shot at Thug, in a cage match, at the
WOW pay-per-view, "WOW Unleashed".
Now, is seems as if David McLane and the WOW brain trust opted to make it an old
school WCW Thunderdome cage (Jesus, don't these people have any friggin'
imagination?). But, you really didn't have time to take in that it was a
Thunderdome cage, because the match was over in under 15 minutes (in fact, it
was barely 10 minutes).
Believe it or not, but the Selina/Thug feud was the only one that WOW actually
got to finish before closing the doors after only six months. But, in all
honesty, the company lasted about three months too long. The matches from the
first three months were laughable, but not horrid. But, those next three months
looked like reruns (I checked, WOW never got to show reruns), which made the
matches change from laughable to painful to watch. Take it from someone who sat
through the crap for about four months.
That cage match is really the only thing that the PPV had going. The rest of
the matches were terrible (like Jane Blond vs. Tanja, Warrior Woman. How can a
match between two actual jobbers be on a PPV? I'm asking you, really.), and not
really all that interesting. The only other things of note about Unleashed was
the debut of Caged Heat's Vendetta, as well as Law & Order. We also learned
that the Disciplinarian bought Bronco Billie's ranch (which really sucks for
Billie, because she hailed from "The Ranch", like WCW's Shark hailed from "The
Great Barrier Reef").
About a month after the Unleashed atrocity, WOW officially shut down, leaving
David McLane with three failed women's promotions (POWW, GLOW, and WOW), and
probably the hopes of starting a fourth. Hell, GLOW was almost a success, so
there's still hope.
Well, folks, if you really need to get it out of your system, go ahead and hunt
down some of these turds and watch them. You will see after one episode that
WOW Women Of Wrestling was almost as bad as David Arquette as WCW World
Champion, but it lasted about five months longer.
by Emer Prevost
Jason Kreitzer wrote:
In Emer Prevost's column "WOW! That Sucked!" he incorrectly stated that Selina Majors and Rockin' Robin were the same person. They are not. Selina's more famous ring alias is Bambi.
Chris Darnings wrote:
In Emer Prevost's column: Wow! That Sucked, he stated that Jacklyn Hyde was a bad gimmick because it was a schizophrenic. I mean wasn't that Victoria's original WWE gimmick too? This gimmick was when Victoria was the most over BTW. The same could be said for Mickie James.
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