The In-Stability Of Stables
July 11, 2003 - by Emer Prevost
Well, for those of you who haven't read my previous columns (and, if you
haven't, then what the hell have you been doing?), then you have no clue how
much I hate the WWE's lack of originality. But, my loyal readers know that the
WWE's sorrow becomes my next column. And, with Evolution making it's laps
swirling the toilet, then this topic is perfect.
One day (well, actually every day), while I was sitting in the Yahoo! WWF Chat
Rooms (yes, Yahoo is so lame that they still call it the WWF), and some putz (or
many morons) continue to think that if the WWE brings back some popular stables
of yesteryear, the company will be a much better place. There is always some
clown who thinks that the WWE's problems can be solved by bringing back
D-Generation X or the new World order. Well, if that were true, than I wouldn't
be writing about this matter. But, since bringing back an old stable is a
dumbass idea, I'll happily write about it.
For this column, I think that it would be the best course of action to just
simply describe the problems with bringing back most of the well known stables.
But, before we get to the old ones, let's look at some of the current WWE
stables (all three of them) and see where they have fallen...
Look at it, Randy Orton and Ric Flair have been lowered from members of a stable
to a tag team with the perks of being able to kiss the champs ass week in and
week out. Remember when all the nWo did was kiss Hogan's ass and beat down his
next challenging opponent? The same principal is being used here, and it's just
as lame. It isn't cool. It isn't even entertaining. It's just boring, plain
EVOLUTION - Like I said, I feel that Evolution is swirling down the drain. The
reason for this is that they went from the rumored resurrection of the IV
Horsemen, but quickly became a rebirth of the Natural Born Thrillaz. This can
be dubbed as "Jeff Hardy Syndrome" (read my "State Of RAW" article for the
joke), or JHS. This occurs when a wrestler or stable is bound for greatness,
but stumbles and lands on it's face just before getting to the top.
Once more, the WWE has a battle plan to get the fans to love the FBI. Rumors
are flying that the WWE is looking into signing former FBI big man Sal E.
Graziano. In this writer's opinion, nothing can save the FBI. Even getting Big
Vito (someone who really should come into the WWE) to join would be meaningless.
The WWE should just cut their losses here and start fresh, because this is one
horse who's head is already in bed (God, that has to be the worst Godfather
reference I have ever made).
THE FULL-BLOODED ITALIANS - This one is another stable that was supposed to buy
fame from an older stable. But, sadly, all we have here is a mockery of what
was once an entertaining stable. About the only think that these Goodfellas
wannabes have going for them is that they are feuding with the Undertaker.
Honestly, look at it. They have Nunzio (the only original member of the FBI)
being teamed with Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli (who is useless without Big Vito)
and Chuck Palumbo (who seems to be lost without Billy) pretending to be tough
guys. As you can see, I don't buy it. In fact, I haven't heard any positive
comments about this new rehash of the FBI, only that the fans wish it never
Let me explain. Sure, you can say that the fans loved them, but was there ever
a Dudley chant? No. But, the Dudleyz did use a lot of tables. And then, the
table chant was born. The Dudleyz were mostly drawing yawns until Bubba uttered
those famous words: ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "D-VON!!! GET THE TABLES!!!"
THE DUDLEY BOYZ - What can be said here that hasn't already been uttered by
fans. Most fans are sick of the Dudleyz. Think about it, they were once one of
the coolest stables in ECW (but, since there were very few stables, that's
understandable), amassing a slew of "brothers" and "cousins" (among them, Bubba
Ray, D-Von, Dances With Dudley, Dudley Dudley, Little Spike Dudley, Big Dick
Dudley, & Sign Guy Dudley, just to name a few). But, when they came to the WWE,
their numbers dwindled to a mere two (three after Spike joined later on). From
here, they never really got over with the fans.
In fact, if you look at it, most fans stopped caring about the Dudley Boyz a
while ago. Hell, they can barely be called a stable anymore. Spike is out
jobbing week after week to losers, while Bubba tries to get out of the mid-card.
D-Von just tags along with Bubba to remind the people that he's also a Dudley.
Well, now you have seen the current factions of the WWE. Now, who do the fans
want to join the company again?
The final return of DX was just to a way to swerve back into the Michaels/Trips
feud. So, it seems obvious that this is band who have played their last song.
Any attempt at bringing this team back will probably be heralded with boos and
flying garbage. There is absolutely no hope in bringing this once great stable
D-GENERATION X - Most of the sheep in the chat rooms clamor for the return of
DX. Now, I was a fan of them back in the day, but I don't want to see them come
back. The reason for this is the fact that they have been brought back so many
times it isn't funny.
Look, almost the day it died the first time, Triple H reformed the group. This
was the most popular set-up. But, over time, the team broke up and started
feuding with each other. This eventually led to a "Winner Wins The Right To The
Name D-Generation X" match pitting X-Pac and the Road Dogg against Mr. Ass and
Chyna. Most people don't remember this too much, mainly because it was
Then, months later, Vince was desperate for a storyline, so re once more dusted
off DX for another heel run. This time, DX was joined by Tori and were just
laughably bad. This new DX was a lot like those "Gilligan's Island" movies that
were made years after the show was done. Not funny or cool, just plain boring.
To put it bluntly, DX is DOA. Flat-lined. Game Over. Kaput. Pushing daisies. - I think you get the point.
If Vince didn't bring the Horsemen back when he first wanted to, what the hell
do you think is gonna make him do it now? Evolution was the last train leaving
Horsemen Territory. Besides, do we really want to see the legacy tainted
anymore than it already is?
THE FOUR HORSEMEN - Another favorite of the sheep. But, this one is an even
worse idea to bring back.
Just as a little piece of trivia, Evolution was originally supposed to be the
latest incarnation of the Four Horsemen. The thing that none of the pinheads
in the chat rooms seem to grasp is that the Horsemen have gone through their
paces enough times. They have had more member changes than KISS (I'm a huge
KISS fan, so trust me when I say that they have seen many members), and most of
the fans demanding the Horsemen's return only want it for Flair and Arn.
Don't get me wrong, the Four Horsemen were legends. But, I feel that the group
was officially dead when Curt Hennig turned on the Horsemen after Arn Anderson
had given him "his spot" on the team. Soon, the Horsemen were officially a
rotting deer on the highway when Steve "Mongo" McMichael joined. I swear,
nothing says 'dead and buried' like Mongo on your team. Just ask the Packers or
See, Goldberg, the Four Horsemen have a legacy. Ric Flair has a legacy. What
you have is a soiled conscience for destroying another wrestler's legacy. That
being Bret Hart. For shame, you bald headed prick!
Sorry, had to get that out. I'm better now. Where was I? Oh yeah, the next
Soon, the nWo would get some new management in Jeff Jarrett. Along with nWo
regulars Nash, Hall, and Scott Steiner, as well as the Harris Twins and Bret
Hart, the Black & Silver was, in my opinion, the lamest WCW incarnation of the
new World order, period. The only memorable thing that came out of this rotten
rehash was Double J's silver guitars, which he still uses to this day.
THE NEW WORLD ORDER - Ah, the nWo. The one stable that has been remade so many
times that it is just boring even thinking about it anymore. I feel that anyone
who wants the new World order back in any capacity should be drug out into rush
hour traffic and disemboweled with a dull butter knife. It doesn't get any
worse than this.
Alright, so the nWo was cool the first two years or so, but no stable (excluding
the Four Horsemen) can last forever. Soon, there were two groups of the nWo.
We had nWo Hollywood (Black & White) and the nWo Wolfpac (Red & Black). While
this lead to some decent feuding between the two factions, that was about the
only real thing WCW had going for them at the time (thus the reason the WCW/nWo
PPV titles lasted for a while). Soon, two factions remained, but now we had the
Black & White (or, the B team) and the Black & Red (yes, the Wolfpac was dead,
but the colors stayed for Hogan & Nash's new team).
Now, Black & Red died fast. But, the Black & White lasted a little while
longer. WCW milked all the "leadership fighting" between the B&W members until
they could milk no more. Sadly, Stevie Ray, Vincent, and all their nWo B&W
buddies died a slow death career wise.
But, the lamest was yet to come. When Vincent Kennedy McMahon was in desperate
need to bring in something "like-fresh", he turned to the group that almost
killed his competition. Bringing back Hall, Nash, and Hogan, the nWo faced it's
lamest time ever. Bringing back The Big Show and X-Pac to the fold, signing up
Stevie Ray's brother, Booker T., as well as bringing in Ric Flair and Shawn
Michaels, we saw the most slapped together group of the nWo since the Black &
Nothing with the newest nWo seemed to click with fans. When the nostalgia wore
off, fans still had to suffer with this boring team.
So, like I said before, anyone who wants the nWo back should be drug out into
rush hour traffic and disemboweled with a dull butter knife. Only masochists
would want to suffer through more nWo nonsense after the crap that came after
the first group seven years ago.
Now, I know that most fans do have nostalgic moments and would love to see their
favorite wrestlers, tag teams, or stables come back for one more glorious run.
The problem with picking one of the above mentioned stables, is that they have
had their one more glorious run, and many more after that.
Sadly, wrestling fans, we will never see another stable like the original DX or
one of the original Horsemen lineups. That kind of talent is either dead, stuck
in the mid card where the WWE never bothers to look, are in indy promotions that
the WWE never looks at, or have been retired for years. So, we do have our
Now, to show that I'm not that much of an @$$hole (I was told this in many nasty
e-mails regarding my last article), I'm going to tear into a stable that I would
like to see come back. See, the fantasies can come from more than the annoying
But, have no fear, the WWE saw a near return of the Dangerous Alliance. Paul
Heyman returned to his Paul E. Dangerously, the agent ways, signing Brock
Lesnar, The Big Show, Kurt Angle, and Team Angle. If the Big Show would have
been excluded, this would have made an awesome Dangerous Alliance. But, knowing
Vince's bookers, they'd probably mess that up, too.
THE DANGEROUS ALLIANCE - Well, Paul E. Dangerously had himself a real winning
team with the original Dangerous Alliance in 1992, honestly. He had "Stunning"
Steve Austin, "Ravishing" Rick Rude, "The Crusher" Larry Zbyszko, "Beautiful"
Bobby Eaton, and "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson. This team dominated WCW while the
Horsemen were in one of their dormant periods. They even had great feuds with
Sting, Ricky Steamboat, and The Steiner Brothers. What could have happened to
make such a winning team fall?
Well, nothing really. The team disbanded after about a year and a half. But,
the Dangerous Alliance wasn't really dead.
Late into their run, the dying ECW (which was owned by Paul E. Dangerously,
technically) saw a new Dangerous Alliance, now managed by Lou E. Dangerously.
Among the memorable members of this new DA were Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger.
Sadly, this forgettable Dangerous Alliance died when ECW died. Most ECW fans
have blocked this horrid memory (as well as most of ECW's "TNN Period") from
In fact, I think that any attempt to remake the Dangerous Alliance might have
Rick Rude turning in his grave. And we don't want that happening, now do we?
by Emer Prevost
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