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WRESTLING COLUMNS

It's Time To Grow Up
A Message To Zach Gowen
November 15, 2003 - by Emer Prevost


W ell, everyone, get ready to hear about some more WWE litigation. According to various sources, Zach Gowen hasn't exactly won over any friends in the WWE locker room. In fact, he is so full of himself, that the rest of the guys backstage want him gone.

But, if Vince gives the former Tenacious Z the ax, then Zach will sue Vince for discrimination. It seems that Zach hasn't noticed that he was hired solely on the fact that he only has one leg. This kind of circus act is exactly what Vince was looking for to help spice up his ratings. This, of course, didn't lead to any ratings spike.

Now, how did this seemingly cool kid from Michigan turn into such a egotistical prick? Well, it goes like this. As soon as he was signed by the WWE, Zach was immediately thrown into angles involving Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper, Brock Lesnar, and of course, Hulk Hogan. So, now, Zach's ego began to grow like mold on month old cheese because he went from almost nothing (opening matches for TNA) to working with the SmackDown main eveners. Of course this would make anyone's head swell.


But, Zach's head grew too fast, and he found himself talking down to the likes of the Undertaker backstage. Now you see why everyone hates his guts now. Mr. Gowen thinks his King Turd because he was teamed with Hogan the second he entered the WWE.

Well, it's time for a news flash: Zach, you are nothing more than a one move wonder. You have to learn how to actually work with only one leg. You can't just hop around like a gimp, knock your opponent down, and then take an eternity to climb the ropes and hit your precious moonsault. That might have flown in the smaller companies you worked in. And, maybe Jerry Jarrett tolerated it. But, the WWE is the big leagues (not that I'm saying that TNA isn't the big leagues. The WWE is sadly, just a bigger league), and in order to make it, you need a few things, a good backstage manner, and respect for those who've been there before you. It's time to grow up and know your place.

When I first heard that Zach was in the WWE, I was happy about it. I never got to see him in TNA, and I wanted to see how a one legged man can operate in the ring. But, when I saw Zach Gowen doing his thing, I was bored to tears. He is the only worker I know of who has less moves than Nash or Goldberg, and that's pretty damn sad.

I know what you're gonna say, "He only has one leg. Cut him some slack". Bull. In the world of sports entertainment, you have to be able to roll with all the punches. If you stumble, often times, you will fall. You can't cut Gowen slack because he only has one leg. That is just excusing him for sucking so much ass in the ring.

Now, about his threats of litigation if he is fired, let me speak on that:

Now, when I was in high school, there was this one guy in my acting class. He had one arm, and was Asian. He felt that since he had two strikes against him (those are his words, not mine), he should be pampered and treated like royalty. I knocked that bitch a few rungs down when I told him that I will not give him respect he doesn't deserve. With that minor comment, he threatened to sue me for being a bigot. Not only did I laugh, but everyone in earshot laughed as well.

The same thing goes for Gowen. He thinks anyone is going to give a rat's ass if Vince fires him. And, to be honest, the only person who gives a rat's ass about that is Zach Gowen. Let's face it folks, Vince went to the sideshow, and he hired the wrong freak.

Sure, I'd feel sorry for myself if I only had one leg, but I wouldn't try to force respect from people because of it. Zach is just like that arrogant prick from high school. He wants respect that he hasn't earned. It doesn't get much simpler than that.

Before I get more dumbass e-mails, let me clarify a few things. No, I have never met Zach Gowen, and no, I don't really know how he is backstage. I get my info from the same places everyone else does, from all of those wrestling news sites that Triple H hates so much. The one's that take the mystique away from wrestling. The ones that talk about backstage fights, hirings and firings, and any other news that's fit to post.

To all the Zach Gowen fans (all seven of you). Sure, he was an inspirational story. Then, his ego grew to the size of Mexico. Then, it went from inspirational to another asshole trying to get something for nothing. He doesn't work, and he expects monstrous respect and high pay.

Now, my final words on this subject. Vince, do the world a favor, and fire Zach Gowan. He isn't worth the money you are spending on him. And, if he tries to sue you, just let the chips fall where they may. There is no judge in this country that will say you are in the wrong. You have a worker you hired because of a deformity, and he isn't working to keep his job.

Do the WWE a favor and at least throw the fans a bone here. You won't fire Goldberg, Michaels, or Triple H. At least fire this worthless waste of ring space.

by Emer Prevost


Mark Rose writes in with:
First of all Mr Provost I understand that you have your opinions of Zach Gowen but all I see in this article is a bunch of unproven garbage. You mention these magical sources you have that tell you about Zach's ego but yet they are never quoted and you don't credit them. I find it amusing because you mention them as if these allegations are all over the internet yet I've checked every wrestling website that I consider to be credible and haven't seen one mention of any of these Zach Gowen ego problems. Maybe you and your sources are correct but with the allegations you are making about Zach Gowen's character it would be nice to know it's based on some fact which you actually made seem rather dubious in a statement later on in your own article.

Furthermore the arrogance you displayed in the latter part of your column was laughable. Presuming that every e-mail you get is a "dumbass e-mail" is an insult to anyone who had the misfortune of reading the trash you just posted on this site. And another thing assuming that your sources are the same as everyone's elses is just dead wrong and then you went on to contradict yourself saying how they are ruining wrestling.....yet you find yourself checking them out and using their material uncredited.

You used to write some good columns I really enjoyed the one about Brawl 4 All and the one about WOW. I don't know what happened to you but if you keep writing crap like this my only hope is that Brad comes to senses and doesn't post shit like this again.

And before you dismiss as one of these so-called "bleeding heart" types defending Zach Gowen because of his situation I don't even care for Zach Gowen. I just don't care for this article even more.
Brad adds:
Brad who? HAHA!
Jason Wheatley from Kokomo, Indiana said:
First of all, whether or not Gowen is acting this way is anyone's guess except for Gowen himself and those he works with within WWE. I feel that if Gowen is using his "disability" as a proverbial trump card, then it is a shame and he should be ashamed of himself. If this is the case, then it upsets me.

Secondly, I am someone who has a disability. I suffer from Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and am confined to a wheelchair. I hope to one day become a ring announcer for WWE. There is no way in hell that I would use my disability as a trump card just to get a job. I am one of those people that hate having people take pity on me and give me certain things. I also do not think that the world or anyone that lives in it owes me anything just because of my disability. I treat people the way as I would want them to treat me. I would not want the job of being a ring announcer handed to me due to my disability, but rather on my announcing abilities. I would not threaten a lawsuit to WWE if I wasn't hired, unless I had proof of it being discrimination over my disability. I would hope that if I were turned down that it would be due to my announcing abilities and not my disability.

My whole purpose of sending in my comments is to let Mr. Prevost know that not all folks with disabilities act this way, if Gowen does indeed act in such a manner. I am not saying that he is targeting all those with disabilities, however, I took that as an innuendo and had to respond. I would hope that he wouldn't consider this email as a "dumb ass" one.

Thanks very much for taking the time to read my comments. Keep up the great work on the OWW Website.
Brad Dykens points out:
I feel the need to explain something about Zach Gowen's "role" as a WWE Superstar. It was established from the very first meeting at WWE Headquarters that Zach Gowen would not be a 365 days per year worker.. It's all about marketing, and I would compare it to the way Vince McMahon Sr (and Jr. later on) originally promoted the Late Great Andre The Giant; Yes, he IS a novelty act, I'm not trying to be mean, but if Zach Gowen had both his legs he'd barely make it on the independant circuit. With that said, there is a way to properly market a novelty act to get the most "bang for your buck".. And that is moderation.. You can't put someone like Zach Gowen on TV every single week because he will (and did) get very very boring.. Just like Andre The Giant, when Andre made his rare appearances on TV, it was SPECIAL, you felt you were seeing something rare.. Zach Gowen will come back and he won't be so fresh in our minds, and we'll once again think "Wow this kid is really something else"..
Emer Prevost's defense (I didn't know she was 15!.... jk):
Well, I seem to have lit a fire here.

I would first like to apologize to all those with disabilities who I may have offended. I never intended for that to be my message. I was only talking about Zach's backstage actions (which I read about at WrestleZone.com) and used one bad experience to further my point.

Second, I have to apologize to all of Online World of Wrestling's loyal readers for my last few columns. They have been real shitpiles, and I will admit to that. Yes, I became a egotistical prick, and my work suffered because of it. Since reading these comments, I have reformed, and will go back to the way I used to write... just without the requisite typo in each column.

I hope that all who read this will forgive me for my actions. I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart, and I will try to keep my ego in check. All I ask is that if I send in another piece of shit like this last column, let me know.

Emer "Please Don't Call Me Mr." Prevost
Brian Bertrand writes:
Mr. Prevost, before you call this a dumbass e-mail I do hope you think this through. For one thing Mark is right. Just about everything you posted in this column is unproven and uncredited. To me, I think Zack is just plain frickin' boring and he's pretty much the personified example of a one-legged man in an ass whippin' contest and with him being in the ring is very pointless. My only hope for you, Mr. Prevost, is that I hope you didn't get any of this from WrestleZone because thats the worst.

His storylines with Hogan, Vince, Lesnar, AND Matt Hardy aren't even that memorable. But that doesn't make him an egotistical prick out of it. If Vince gives Gowen the ax then it'll be for a good damn reason just like almost everyone he's fired (with the exception to Bret Hart). It's just great to see a one-legged man in the WWE but when you look at the big picture, it doesn't really matter if he had one leg or two. He still would not make it in sports entertainment.
wrote:

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