Hall of Shame – WWE 2003

WWE 2003 – A Year of Shame:
To follow up 2002 WWE Year of Shame, we will follow the year 2003 as it goes and add to the Shame as it happens.. The crap tends to come through and a quick pace so keep checking back for updates..

RAW X Anniversary Show: The McMahons presented a special 10th RAW Anniversary Show on January 11, 2003.. For months they hyped numerous “surprise” appearances by former WWE superstars, and heavily hinted the return of Stone Cold Steve Austin.. However, when the night finally arrived, fans were treated to a lame awards ceremony, no surprise appearances, and huge teases of a Steve Austin return.. This blantant false advertising made for a horribly disappointing evening for fans who were left with a bad taste in their mouths..
Al Wilson & Dawn Marie: This one had trouble written all over it but they still shoved it down our throats for three weeks in a row.. First they got engaged, then they got married (in their underwear), then they had their honeymoon, Al subsequently died from too much sex, and then they presented a funeral packed with horrible performances by Dawn Marie & Torrie Wilson.. Thankfully the WWE learned how to properly bury its own crap..
[Hall OWW Shame Inductee]
Martin Luther King Day: The WWE should be ashamed of themselves for insulting their entire audience, but perhaps the single thing that is worse is when it targets a specific portion of our society.. This was the case when WWE RAW happened to fall on Martin Luther King Day.. DLo Brown brought out his new manage, Teddy Long (former referee), who proceeded to cut a promo on the late Dr Martin Luther King.. This is surprising since Teddy Long is known to be very proud of his african heritage.. This clearly shows how forceful the hand of the bookers are in the WWE..
Big Poppa Chump: Scott Steiner prooved himself as the “Kevin Nash” of 2003, exposing himself as the years biggest dissappointment and most obvious waste of money.. Steiner was given two World title shots at two consecutive pay per views and registered two of the worst matches of recent memory in the entire company.. By Wrestlemanie, “Big Poppa Pump” was buried in the roster and left out of the line-up..
Girls Gone Wild – The Bigger Slut Challenge: In the “time-honored-tradition” of the WWE’s false advertising policy, fans had GGW teases shoved down their throats for a about a month in some strange cross-promotional deal.. In return, the WWE sent three of their divas (and one big goof named Test) to the event with the possibility of them “Going Wild”.. In a last ditch effort to pursuad fans to buy the GGW PPV, Dawn Marie exposed her breasts to a live Smackdown! audience, but the fans at home were treated with a strategically placed ring rope.. Yeah it looked good, but as I’ll explain in the next addition, wrestling and porn don’t mix.. By the way, there was no Diva went “wild” as suggested in various ads for the pay per view..
Hi I’m Torrie, A Playboy Reject: Vince McMahon (WWE) and Hugh Hephner (Playboy) will go down as two of the leading factors in the ultimate demoralization of America.. A very lucrative relationship has grown here and I’m not sure who got the best of it.. It seems whenever Vince McMahon sends one of his divas to the Playboy Mansion, they’re departure from the company is almost emminant.. Sable & Chyna both exited McMahonland shortly after their magazine appearances with aspirations of making it in Hollwood.. Torrie Wilson’s recent pictorial follows this same pattern.. The thing about it is this, the picture’s are kind of disappointing.. Torrie is beautiful and all, but she comes off as a Playboy reject..

If there actually are any WWE employees out there reading this, please I cannot stress this enough; I LOVE WRESTLING, and YES, I LOVE PORN TOO, but please don’t mix them? You’ll ruin them both!

Bill Goldturd: Anybody that has a shred of respect for the Wrestling business left in them knows what Bill Goldberg means to Wrestling in the long run. Yeah the guy may look like a million bucks, but he sure ain’t worth the couple million they’re probably paying him.. This piece of trash needs a two year stint in “titan training” jobbing to the Disciples of Synn in Ohio Valley Wrestling.. Don’t they remember the ho-bags they hired this time last year? Scott Hall (where is he?), Kevin Nash (what have you done for me lately?) and Hulk Hogan (the exception to every rule).. Forget for a moment all the obvious in-ring issues involved with this idiot, then realize the mayhem he will create backstage.. A locker room will never react positively to a new guy walking it and getting paid more money for doing less work. The one good thing about Bill Goldberg having a limited schedule is that it lowers the chances of him injuring a LEGITIMATE worker who actually cares about his job.. Do you think Billy does it for the fans? No, little Billy does it to line is big wallet.. And little Billy Goldberg is a BIG PIECE OF CRAP!
[More Goldberg Opinion]
The Great Debate: The WWE has never missed an opportunity to exploit something in the real world.. Hell, nothing is off limits, necrophelia, sex, spousal abuse, death, marriage, birth, and yes even wars.. Wars which claimed the REAL LIFE lives of hundreds of Soldiers around the world.. What makes things worse is when their exploitation is lame and boring.. With that said, it wasn’t the exploitation that was so shameful, it was the performance.. Scott Steiner has gone from challenging for the World title, to feuding with Tough Enough “losers” in about a months time.. Although Chris Nowinski is a fine future talent and probably has well educated views on the subject, Scott Steiner’s opinion couldn’t be more worthless to wrestling fans watching around the Globe..
Cyber Surveys: I’ve come to the conclusion that when it comes to anything that goes on in the WWE, it revolves around $MONEY$. They’re continously looking for news places to stick an advertisement or commercial for either their own product or another product desperate enough to sponsor their crap. It really surprises me that they haven’t tatooed Stacker 2 advertisements on Torrie Wilsons breasts yet (oh shit, Howard if you’re reading this, I was just kidding).. ANYWAY, we shouldn’t be surprised that they came up with a way to get fans to hit their website. Everybody knows WWE.COM polls are rigged anyway, but they started announcing survey’s at the beginning of RAW, and announcing the results later, and it usually ended up being a complete senseless swerve, or the obvious choice, like Mick Foley being the referee for Hell in a Cell..
The Jobification of Lance Storm: It all started at a RAW that I personally attended in Halifax, Nova Scotia on May 5, 2003.. Lance Storm came out proudly waving his Canadian Flag, while announcers tried to pass it off as “sucking up” as opposed to “patriotism” as they call it when Undertaker does it.. Lance Storm was booked to get squashed by Booker T that night.. Then Lance Storm was written into a boring Goldberg angle, where he supposedly tried to run Goldberg down with a car, but it wasn’t even his idea! So Lance Storm got squashed by Goldberg and then cowardly ratted on the true cultrit, Chris Jericho.. Since then Lance Storm has jobbed to Scott Steiner on HEAT, and Test on RAW.. Lance Storm is one of the top 5 workers on the payroll! How could he get over? Dawn Marie ain’t doing anything right now, is she?

The Jobification of Lance Storm II: Literally the day after I posted the first JoLS paragraph I was shocked to tune in to RAW and see one of my favorite wrestlers completely SHIT ON by WWE writers and brainless fans.. Lance Storm came out on RAW against developmental talent Lance Cade, but instead of putting on a wrestling clinic for the kindergarden fans in attendance, RAW GM Steve Austin came out to the stage and encouraged the crowd to chant “BORING! BORING!” towards Lance Storm.. How is this productive? You’re encouraging the fans to disrespect your talent like that? And they know that the fans will always catch on to anything the almighty Stone Cold says (WHAT?) and soon you will see all the technical wrestlers getting BORING chants at WWE events.. That has to be the most insulting thing for a wrestler!

The Hipocrite Prosititute: Sable made her return to the WWE a few months ago and I don’t know why she hasn’t made it into the hall of shame yet but she fell right into it this week! From the day Sable walked back into the WWE spotlight the writers have been cleverly making her look like a complete floozy.. This woman SUED the WWF for 10 million dollars in a sexual harassment lawsuit a few years back! She hasn’t wrestled yet, all her storylines revolve around her being a SLUT! This makes her a complete hiprocrite; She has kissed Torrie, shown her breasts to Torrie, flashed Mr. America in front of a live crowd, let Zack Gowan touch her boob, straddled Vince McMahon on a desk, what the hell am I watching??? I’m sure Vince McMahon locks himself in his office at night and laughs his ass off, reveling in his successful manipulation of this brainless piece of meat.. How many men can say they were sued for sexual harassment, and then paid his acusser money to molest him on camera in front of millions of HIS fans.. Who looks bad here? Rena Mero wake up and get a CLUE! You just divorced the only person in your life with a BRAIN (Marc Mero)! But if you’re happy contributing to demoralization of America, then buy yourself another diamond necklace and pray that the degenerates you’re helping to create don’t rape and buglarize your skanky ass!
The Pie Eating Contest: Since when are Beavis & Butthead writing WWE programming?? What the holy hell! I guess since the only demographic actually EXPANDING in America is the redneck demographic, they felt the need to cater to them! In case you do have a few brain cells left and decided NOT to purchase BAD BLOOD, I will lay it out for you.. It was Steve Austin vs Eric Bischoff in what was billed as a Redneck Triathalon.. The entire thing was pointless and retarded but the second event, a Pie Eating Contest, was downright ridulous.. They marched Mae Young out to the ring with a thong to act as “PIE” for the contest.. For those of you who aren’t aware of what PIE actually represents, I’ll spare you further details..
The Sleepover: While NWA TNA is coming up with original and entertaining ideas for their gimmick matches, the WWE just cannot seem to hit on anything good. They recently went with an “Indecent Proposal” storyline where Billy Gunn took on Jamie Noble, and if Noble won, he’d get to “sleep with” Torrie Wilson. This, of course, led to multiple lame skits shown during the two hour time period on Thursday night Smackdown!. (Un)fortunately, the whole thing got worse when Nidia & Billy Gunn both showed up and joined in the fun, and they all ended up snuggling eachother under the covers of the hotel bed..
Too Much Coach: The month of September saw the rise of the Coach character.. After months of speculation that Coach would turn heel and join Theodore Long’s stable, he did turn heel, but instead he became an ass-kissing assistant to General Manager Eric Bischoff — Add to that, he is feuding with RAW announcer Jim Ross, which is leading to a bigger feud including Jerry Lawler and Al Snow over the rights to be RAW broadcasters.. I can tell that Jonathan Coachman is a really nice guy, but he just doesn’t have that je ne c’est qua that makes for an entertaining character in sports entertainment. I’ll give him his props, he’s a decent announcer, but a b-show announcer, he doesn’t have the spice to elevate a show to the level it should be at..
Toasted Testicles: I must admit, I’m somewhat conflicted about putting this into the WWE Hall of Shame because I actually did enjoy it.. I mean, I’ve accepted that WWE is going to dish out moderate portions of soap opera bullshit — But I’m much happier seeing this kind of stuff as opposed to things like Al Wilson’s funeral, Torrie/Dawn Marie lesbian angle, and especially necrophelia — Well just to catch you up, on an episode of RAW, Kane attacked Shane McMahon from behind and handcuffed his wrists to the ring post and proceeded to douse him with water — After this, Kane placed a couple of jumper cables on Shane’s crotch and, yes, sent an electrical shock through Shane McMahon’s testicles..
No Drinky You Stinky: Nobody ever accused Vince McMahon of being a good influence! It’s the subtle things is life that influence the youth of the world. Today’s “youth” are nailed with “subtleties” every single day of their lives, and for those of which who tune into WWE programming, I pray for you! On an edition of RAW in October, in an attempt to get Stone Cold over as a crazy lunitic drunk with power, he gave Stacy Keibler a vicious stunner after she said “no” to sharing beer with him.. What a wonderful messege to send to the youngsters, if you don’t drink this, I’m gonna hurt you, cause you’re not cool with me! Where is CM Punk when you frickin need him!
A Decade of diSTINKtion: God made the rivers, God man the lakes, God made mark Henry — Well, we all make mistakes! I certainly hope Vince McMahon learned his lesson about hiring untrained muscleheads to 10 year garanteed contracts, which is what Vince McMahon did with Mark Henry in 1996! I can’t remember one entertaining moment in Mark Henry’s 8 year career in the WWE and his recent angle/storyline is the worst of them all! Okay let’s think harder, he was a ‘good guy olympian’, he was in ‘the nation’, he teamed with dlo and ivory, he fell in love with Chyna, he got oral sex from a shemale, he had sex with mae young, got her pregnant, had a toughman gimmick and performed rigged exhibitions, now he’s one of Theodore’s thugs..