HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
My Lockdown 2010 Predictions
Our resident philosopher, Jay Shannon, breaks out the crystal ball, tea leaves and lucky coin to try to figure out TNA’s All-Steel Cage Pay-per-view.
OK, I hate this Pay-per-view. The cage usually blocks a lot of the action and we are at the mercy of the camerament to shoot between the links to see the fighting. Wide-angle shots are pretty much out of the question. Grumble.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, let’s look at this Gimmick PPV. Some of the matches aren’t half bad. Some are completely awful.
Brian Kendrick and Homicide v Motor City Machine Guns
Prediction: This was a last minute addition by Dixie Carter. The Guns are still riding a pretty decent push, while Kendrick and Homicide are teetering on the brink of career oblivion, at least in TNA. This one will be pretty exciting but I think the Guns will “pull the trigger” and keep the winning streak going. Expect Homicide and Kendrick to have a falling out after the bell.
Predicted Winners: Chris Sabin and Alex Sheller (The Guns)
Predicted Grade: B+
Rob Van Dam v James Storm
(Lethal Lockdown Advantage Match)
Backstory: Storm smashed a beer bottle over RVD’s head, two weeks back. This past week, Storm blew one of the best fireballs this side of a KISS concert into Jeff Hardy’s face. Spike can show Deadliest Warriors and 1000 Ways to Die but it has to edit our a cool fireball. (Steps down off soapbox). Anyway, this match is an old-fashioned Captain’s Match (even though neither man is the team’s official captain). The winner of this battle will earn the “Man-Up” advantage in Lethal Lockdown.
Prediction: RVD is a far more experienced wrestler than Storm. RVD is a former ECW and WWE champ. RVD should make short work of “The Tennessee Cowboy”, which is exactly why he won’t. TNA has really pushed how Team Flair has been over-whelming Team Hogan. To really build up to a great Lethal Lockdown, Team Hogan just has to become the underdog team. Expect Storm to pull some dasterdly acts to steal the win and the advantage.
Predicted Winner: James Storm
Predicted Grade: C+
Kevin Nash v Eric Young
Backstory: Nash accepted Eric’s invitation to join the World Elite faction after the Main Event Mafia disbanded. When Hogan came in, Scott Hall and Sean “Syxx-Pac” followed. Nash tricked Eric by letting Hall and Waltman appear to beat the bejesus out of him. Eric came to the rescue, only to have Nash show that it was a ruse to get a match where Hall and Waltman could earn big money contracts with a win over him and Young. Eric came out on Impact and challenged Nash to this cage match.
Prediction: The Leader of the Pac isn’t about to go down to Eric Young. Not going to happen. Eric will be a great little scrapper that will rock Nash, early on. Nash will use his experience to eventually over-power Young and destroy him with the Jackknife Powerbomb. I thought Nash might do the swerve and put Eric in The Band but that would require much deeper thinking that the writer(s) use. Eric will probably come back and battle Nash, in future matches, but this one belongs to Nash.
Predicted Winner: Kevin Nash
Predicted Grade: C
Scott Hall and Sean Waltman v Team 3D
Backstory: The former nWo Wolfpac has reunited under the horrible team name of The Band. The trio have tried to make themselves look tough and vicious as they started their latest “reign of terror”. Brother Ray and Brother Devon have found themselves pushed out of the top tier and knocked down a notch or two in TNA’s Tag Team Pecking Order. Kevin Nash is tied up with Eric Young (see below) so Hall (who looks like an August, 1977 edition of Elvis) and Waltman (who just looks like Hell) get the duties of battling Team 3D.
Prediction: Hogan and Bischoff are running the show. Waltman, Nash and Hall have been permanently wedged up Hogan’s backside for more than a decade. The chances of Team 3D winning this one are about as likely as
the Dallas Cowboys moving back into Texas Stadium. Team 3D is going to have to work twice as hard as ever, just to make these pathetic, washed-up buffoons look decent.
Predicted Winners: Cheech and Chong…oops, sorry, Hall and Waltman
Predicted Grade: F-
The Beautiful People v Angelina Love and Tara
(All Knockout titles on the line)
Backstory: The Beautiful People (Lacey Von Erich, Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) won the Knockout Tag Titles after Awesome Kong left the company and the belts were forfeited. The BPs are able to invoke “The Freebird Rule” when it comes to any 2 of the 3 are able to defend the title. In this silly cage match, Angelina Love (who got the Knockout title in Crackerjack Box fashion) will join Tara to battle the BPs. Whichever team wins, gets all three titles.
Predictions: There are so many ways this could go, and all of them are seriously bad. 1. Love turns on Tara and keeps her title, rejoining the Beautiful People (this one is the least damaging to the Knockout division). 2. Love and Tara take the tag belts and try to get along while defending (crappy, rehash writing). 3. Lacey Von Erich invokes the Freebird Rule, jumps in and pins Love…becoming the (gasp in horror) Knockout World Champion! That last one just makes my brain ache in pain. Knowing the sub-par writing that has become standard in TNA, I’m expecting Love to do the turn and rejoin her old companions. One bright ray of sunshine, maybe Lacey will get booted and have to head to Mexico to actually learn How to wrestle.
Predicted Winner: No Contest
Predicted Grade: D, make that DD
Kazarian v Shannon Moore v Douglas Williams
(Triple Threat X-Division Title)
Backstory: The Doctor of Dilligaf, Moore, invaded TNA, along with the rest of the Hogan hangers-on. He’s back to his Prince of Punk persona, complete with goofy spiked mohawk ala 1982. Kazarian has finally ditched the skull mask and such that he donned as Suicide and decided to get back at what he does best. Williams has tried to break out of his Lance Storm-like personality and become a blue blood.
Prediction: This one is going to steal the show. Despite Williams’ call to cut out the “circus atmosphere”, there are going to be more flips and twists than a whole troupe of trapeze artists. Somehow, I expect Williams to squeak past this craziness and retain his title. Kazarian seems on the verge of a major heel turn and this could be the catalyst that launches it. I expect Williams to move on to his next challenge, while Kazarian and Moore feud for the next few PPVs.
Predicted Winner: Douglas Williams
Predicted Grade: A
Kurt Angle v Mr. Anderson
Backstory: Kurt gets all patriotic cause some military widow/girlfriend/whatever gives him an over-sized dog tag as some kind of talisman for his new-found Americanism. Yawn. Mr. Anderson comes out and tells Angle to get over it. The fight was on. They’ve had a few prelim skirmishes but this one is supposed to be the final war. Anderson goes in with the advantage of holding the key to the cage door.
Prediction: I’m not sure what TNA is wanting to do with these two. If they really want to push Anderson, he needs to win this one. If they want to help bring Angle back up from the hole that he dug himself into, he needs to win it. This one calls for the Fitzgerald’s Hotel and Casino Memorial Lucky Coin. I’m going to go with Angle to continue his rise back to prominence.
Predicted Winner: Kurt Angle
Predicted Grade: B
Team Hogan (Abyss, Jeff Jarrett, Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy) v Team Flair (Sting, Desmond Wolfe, James Storm and Robert Roode)
Backstory: Abyss became Hogan’s protege when Hulk gave his Hall of Fame ring to Abyss. Flair had a hissy fit about the disgrace of giving something so valuable to a goof like Abyss. That started the war. Flair brought out Sting to go after Abyss. Abyss countered with Jarrett. RVD, Jeff Hardy and Beer Money were tossed in to flesh out the War Games-like scenario. Team Hogan has been getting constantly beaten down by Flair’s Forces for weeks. Abyss was hit by a car. Hardy took the fireball to the face. RVD got cracked in the skull with a beer bottle.
Prediction: This is all going to come down to Eric Bischoff. They have so hinted that he is about to stab Hogan in the back. Bischoff will show up, near the end of the match, and somehow screw over Hogan’s forces. There are a lot of rumors that Hogan and Bischoff might face off at Slammiversary.
Predicted Winners: Team Flair (by underhanded means)
Predicted Grade: C
A.J. Styles v D’Angelo “The Pope” Dinero
(TNA World Heavyweight Title)
Backstory: Dinero won the Eight Card Stud Tourney to win this title shot. Styles has taken every cheap shot he could to destroy “The Pope”. Pope actually injured his leg, a few weeks back. Styles will have Ric Flair in his corner.
Prediction: Pope is great but I doubt that TNA is ready to put the belt on Pope. Styles is getting pushed as “the New Dirtiest Player in the Game”, so i can only expect sneaky stuff to go on. Styles needs to face both Abyss and Jeff Jarrett while still the champ.
Predicted Winner: A.J. Styles
Predicted Grade: A-
Final Grade: B+
Final Thoughts: This PPV is going to be mediocre, at best. Slammiversary is TNA’s Wrestlemania, so they are going to play it safe. The X-Division stars are going to be the saving grace on this semi-turkey. Expect Bischoff to pull some tricks and show his hand as Hogan’s enemy, instead of his ally. I don’t expect much from this one.