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HALL "OWW" SHAME

Al Wilson:
This one smelt from the beginning.. I almost feel stupid for inducting this one into the Hall "OWW" Shame, because usually these columns are entertaining.. That's what's so bad about this particular entry.. It spanned a bunch of weeks, and nobody within the company had any instinct whatsoever that people would hate it.. However, every single fan who watched it knew.. What ever happened to trying to get ratings from good storylines as opposed to the train wreck effect.. The little ratings that WCW got in its final year were only there because there was a small group of fans addicted to the train wreck that was WCW.. Fans didn't tune it to watch the talent, they tuned in to watch how bad the damage would be this week.. But the trick here is that the 'train wreck' demographic is significantly smaller than the good wrestling fans demographic.. The truth is, people will get bored at looking at wreckage, but if you give us something cool to look at, we won't be able to look away.. I wish the WWE would learn this lesson.. I'd just like to say, they couldn't have picked a less charasmatic person to play the part of Al Wilson.. Who the hell did he blackmail to get this job?

I'll skip the buildup for this one and just lay you out with the three knockout punches.. First we were treated with the first ever wedding on network television between two people in their underwear (I bet it wasn't), sure, Dawn looked good, but how can you feel arroused with you have that icky feeling of SHAME in the bottom of your gut.. In Al's defense, he sure does look in excellent shape for a dinosaur.. Anyway, the wedding went off without a hitch, which has got to be some kind of record on its own.. Al was clearly stuffed, and probably should have given Triple H tips..
Of course, where there is a wedding, there will always be a honeymoon.. Who gives a rats ass of this has absolutely nothing to do with wrestling! We're gonna show it anyway! Without boring you with all the wore out details, basically, Dawn Marie is one insatiable bitch, and rode all a little too much and sent him into a coma.. Haha, wait, it's not over yet..
I sure hope oscar wasn't watching Smackdown! this week.. You know, I spend a lot of time sticking up for the wrestling business, to people who think the atheletes that participate in the WWE may not be oscaresk performers but most of them do a pretty damn good job portraying their personalities and emotions.. This was just horrible, if there was any chance of Torrie Wilson or Dawn Marie pursuing an acting career sometime in the future, this segment crushed those dreams.. Dawn Marie mourned for her dead husbund, while her chest nearly fell out of her skirt.. Torrie Wilson showed up and was blamed for her father's death.. Oh my god (Where is Joey Styles when you need him? Probably not watching Smackdown!).. Dawn picked up a lamp and smashed it over Torrie's head, but I think if you play the tape in slow motion, the lamp actually breaks before it hits her head..
And so concludes one of the most horrible moments in the history of wrestling.. Or so I hope it's concluded, probably not.. We have a ground-breaking Step-Daughter vs Step-Mother match at Royal Rumble to look forward to.. You can't help but feel ashamed to be a wrestling fan when the WWE does crap like this.. I guess it could be worse, Dawn could have had sex with Al's corpse, wait a minute, we did that already..



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