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WWE RAW RESULTS

March 13, 2006
Beaumont, Texas
Announcers: Joey Styles & Jerry Lawler & The Coach


  1. INTERNET HEAT TAPINGS:
    • Test defeated Val Venis in a dark match..
    • Eugene Dinsmore defeated Lance Cade..
    • Matt Striker defeated Chris Valenzuela..
    • Viscera defeated Rob Conway..
    • Chavo Guerrero defeated Tyson Tomko..

  2. IN THE RING: Vince McMcMahon & Shane McMahon + Shawn Michaels..
    • Vince & Shane McMahon came out with a team of security and a doctor and bragged about what they did last week..
    • Vince McMahon called out Shawn Michaels and forced him to take a public urine test (right there in the ring)..
    • Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon made fun of the situation with "Just Say No To Drugs" speeches to the camera..
    • Shawn Michaels peed in a cup while Vince McMahon warned that he'd be fired if he tested positive for any drugs..
    • Vince McMahon said if Shawn Michaels is a junkie then he'd forfeit both his SNME match and WrestleMania match..
    • Shawn Michaels said it was better to be pissed off, than pissed on, and threw the cup of urine onto the McMahons!
    • Vince took a fit and booked a Texas Tornado Steel Cage match between Shawn Michaels & The Spirit Squad!

  3. WOMANS TITLE MATCH: Trish Stratus defeated Victoria w/Candice Michelle to retain..
    • Candice Michelle distracted the referee and Victoria went for a backbreaker on Trish Stratus..
    • Torrie Wilson showed up and kicked Victoria in the stomach and helped Trish Stratus win the match!
    • Victoria got on the microphone and vowed to make Torrie Wilson pay for what she did!

  4. MATCH: Edge w/Lita defeated Goldust.....
    • For some stupid reason, the host of Nashville Star "Cowboy Troy" was there and joined commentary..
    • The Coach introduced a special moch video package covering all of Mick Foley's WrestleMania loses..
    • Goldust was setting for Shattered Dreams but was distracted by Lita and Edge then speared Goldust!
    • Edge w/Lita said he would be the star of WrestleMania and showed a 'trailor' featuring his WM highlights..
    • Edge said that Mick Foley will just add to his legacy, and says he'll interview Mick Foley on SNME....

  5. BACKSTAGE: Maria Kanellis & Trish Stratus + Torrie Wilson..
    • Maria Kanellis & Trish Stratus did a lame not-so-subtle infomercial for the Boflex Extreme 2 system..
    • Trish Stratus then found Torrie Wilson laid out in her dressing room with Candice's Playboy on her chest..

  6. ANNOUNCEMENT: The legendary Verne Gagne will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame on April 1 in Chicago!

  7. IN THE RING: The Coach + Triple H + John Cena + Kane & The Big Show + Carlito & Chris Masters..
    • Editor's Note: apparently Triple H is the only guy in WWE who actually has to sign contracts for matches..
    • Triple H immediately praised John Cena for giving The Big Show an F-U last week saying he was impressed..
    • Triple H cut a long boring slow-paced promo that put me to sleep but somehow made John Cena laugh.....
    • Kane & The Big Show came out to the stage and Triple H got a sledgehammer out from under the table...
    • Carlito Cool & Chris Masters attacked The Big Show & Kane from behind and started a huge brawl...
    • Vince McMahon (who hasn't changed his urine-soaked shirt yet) came on the big screen and booked a 6-MAN!

  8. 4-on-1 TEXAS TORNADO CAGE MATCH: The Spirit Squad (Kenny, Johnny, Nicky & Mikey) defeated Shawn Michaels..
    • Shawn Michaels put up a good fight for a few seconds but was quickly over-powered and dominated..
    • Shawn Michaels took a beating and then miraculously fought back and took down all four Spirit Squad guys..
    • Shawn Michaels tried to leave through the door but Mitch slammed the door on Shawn Michaels' face!
    • Shane McMahon attacked Shawn Michaels and put one of the Squad members on Michaels for the 1-2-3..
    • Shane McMahon releatedly launched Shawn Michaels into the Cage, busting Michaels' forehead open!
    • Shawn McMahon ordered the Cage to be raised and then gave the bloody Shawn Michaels a Van-terminator!!
    • Joey Styles (probably forced) had to say "I've seen this before but I've never seen it live!" -- which is SUCH BULLSHIT!..

  9. INTERVIEW: Todd Grisham & Trish Stratus + Mickie James..
    • Trish Stratus said Torrie Wilson suffered a concussion and won't be able to compete at SNME this Saturday..
    • Mickie James showed up and tried to make up with Trish Stratus and asked to be her partner at SNME..
    • Mickie James said after they win their match they can go their separate ways --- I promise :)

  10. BACKSTAGE: Vince McMahon + Shane McMahon..
    • Vince McMahon said he was bringing back a Kiss My Ass Club member to call Saturday Night's Main Event..
    • Shane McMahon said if Jim Ross doesn't call his match right he'll leave him a bloody mess just like HBK..

  11. INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH: Shelton Benjamin defeated Rob Van Dam..
    • Shelton Benjamin said his Mama wasn't there tonight because she was having heart surgery and blamed Ric Flair!
    • Shelton Benjamin pinned Rob Van Dam while holding the ropes for leverage -- to retain his Intercontinental title..
    • Ric Flair, who had joined commentary, jumped in the ring and tried to explain what happened to Rob Van Dam..

  12. MAIN EVENT: John Cena & Kane & The Big Show vs Triple H & Chris Masters & Carlito Cool..
    • John Cena and Triple H were tagged in at the same time, but Triple H quickly tagged out to Carlito..
    • The Big Show & Kane were going to finish off Triple H with a double choke slam from hell..
    • Carlito Cool & Chris Masters whacked Kane & The Big Show with chairs and they all ran backstage..
    • John Cena and Triple H circled eachother in the ring until SD!'s Randy Orton ran in and RKO'd John Cena!

  13. And that's a wrap folks..


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