WWE SMACKDOWN! RESULTS
October 16, 2003|
Announcers: Michael Cole & Tazz
- VELOCITY TAPING:
- A-Train defeated Orlando Jordan..
- Ultimo Dragon defeated Joey Matthews..
- Matt Hardy defeated Sho Funaki..
- IN THE RING: Kurt Angle (pretending to be John Cena) + Mini-Kurt Angle + John Cena..
- Kurt Angle comes out to John Cena's "thug" music and dressed in John Cena "thug" outfit..
- Kurt Angle cuts a promo in "thug" form, poking fun at John Cena's obsession with other men's balls..
- Kurt Angle's music hits and John Cena send out a midget dressed as Kurt Angle (hilarious)..
- Mini-Kurt walks up to Kurt Angle's crotch and Kurt Angle (still acting like John Cena) talks down to him..
- Mini-Kurt grabs the microphone and says "John Cena... you are a wiener!"
- Mini-Kurt starts a chant "When I say Cena, you say wiener!" -- crowd: "wiender!"
- Kurt Angle (as John Cena) charges mini-Kurt, who trips him and pits the ankle lock on Kurt Angle..
- Editor's Note: Just so you know Kurt Angle set this all up and he and the midget are in cahoots..
- John Cena's music hits and John Cena comes out to the ring to get in Kurt Angle's face!
- Mini-Kurt gives John Cena a low-blow, and then the real Kurt gave him an angle slam!
- MATCH: Chris Benoit vs Doug Basham w/Danny Basham..
- Chris Benoit tried a suicide dive onto both Basham Brothers, but missed and hit the floor..
- Doug Basham pulled the old fasioned switcheroo tactic with Danny Basham sliding into the ring..
- Chris Benoit fought back anyway and made Danny Basham tap out to the crippler crossface..
- A-Train (pink slip this guy) attacks Chris Benoit from behind as five referee run down to pull them apart..
- TAPED INTERVIEW: Michael Cole & Stephanie McMahon..
- Stephanie gives what is supposed to be candid comments about why her father is forcing a match between the two..
- Stephanie says that she hopes tonight is not her last night appearing on Smackdown!..
- Stephanie says that her father has banned her from Smackdown! tonight just to rub it in her face..
- Stephanie says that she's always grown up in the McMahon Family, where all dirty laundry is aired in public..
- Stephanie says that she loves the business and wanted to be in it to be closer to her family..
- Stephanie says she doesn't know what she'd do if she is forced to leave Smackdown!..
- Stephanie also says she doesn't know what the WWE would be like without Vince McMahon..
- Stephanie says her mother has been so great standing up for her in her corner against her father..
- Stephanie says she has probably been spoiled and always got anything she wanted as a child..
- Stephanie says that as far as work ethic goes, she has worked hard to get to her position in the company..
- Stephanie admits that there are parts of her father in her (que the tears) and says she doesn't want to be feared..
- Stephanie goes for the oscar and breaks out in tears, saying she didn't think it would ever come to this..
- Stephanie (balling profusely) said she never thought her father would put his hands on her like he has..
- Stephanie says that if her father every goes through with this match, they'll never have a relationship again..
- Stephanie says if she ever gets married "again" (eeeeerrr) or have a baby, her father won't be a part of it..
- Stephanie says she does still love her father, but she doesn't like him (worst tearjob ever)..
- BACKSTAGE: Nidia & Jamie Noble + Tajiri + Vince McMahon..
- Nidia says it's disgusting what Vince McMahon is doing to Stephanie and says she hopes Steph wins at No Mercy..
- Jamie Noble says that he thinks Smackdown! without Vince McMahon sounds good to him..
- Tajiri, who overheard the whole conversation, ran off to tattle on the pair to Vince McMahon..
- Vince McMahon sets up a match between Jamie Noble & Tajiri to take care of Jamie Noble..
- NON-TITLE MATCH: Tajiri (CW Champ) vs Jamie Noble w/Nidia..
- Jamie Noble becomes the very first person to ever block Tajiri's springboard elbow..
- Tajiri brought the Cruiserweight title into the ring, and Nidia tried to pulled it away from him..
- Tajiri spewed a dark green mist into Nidia's face, causing her to scream out loud..
- The match was abandoned and ruled a no-contest, I guess, win/loss is not important in the WWE any more..
- After the commercial, Nidia is still having a panic attack as she is getting looked over by WWE trainers..
- IN THE RING: Jamie Noble + Brock Lesnar..
- Jamie Noble marches back to the ring and grabs the microphone..
- Jamie Noble says that if Nidia doesn't recover from this he will hunt him down and punish him..
- Jamie Noble calls Tajiri out, no response, so he leaves to go find him backstage..
- Instead, Brock Lesnar attacks Jamie Noble on the stage, and drags him to ringside..
- Brock Lesnar demolishes Jamie Noble, ramming him into the ringpost..
- Vince McMahon & Sable come down and Vince McMahon shakes Brock Lesnar's hand..
- IN THE RING: Vince McMahon & Sable..
- Vince McMahon says he watched Stephanie's "Academy Award Winning Performance" earlier..
- Vince McMahon says that if you truely care for someone, you will hurt them badly..
- Vince McMahon talks out of his ass for the next few unbearable minutes..
- Sable gets the mic and gives another pathetic performance that wouldn't even impress a porn director..
- Sable finishes off by giving Vince McMahon a dirty slutty kiss..
- Nothing else happened, that's it.. Ultimo Dragon is stuck on Velocity and we get to watch this crap!
- NON TITLE MATCH: Eddie Guerrero (US Champ) vs Rhyno..
- Rhyno tried to use the US title belt as a weapon, but the referee pulled it away from him..
- Eddie Guerrero went for a frog-splash, but Rhyno lifted his knees and caught Eddie in the mid-section!
- Eddie Guerrero stole the timekeepers metal hammer, and put it inside his boot..
- The referee got distracted, and Eddie Guerrero tossed the hammer at Rhyno..
- The referee turned around and saw Rhyno with the hammer and took it away from him..
- Eddie Guerrero picked up the US title belt and whacked Rhyno with it for the victory!
- After the match, The Big Show ambushed Eddie Guerrero as he was backing out in his low-rider..
- The Big Show knocked out Eddie Guerrero and then smashed the hell out of all the windows and headlights..
- The Big Show tossed Eddie Guerrero onto the already shattered windsheild, lacerating Eddie 's back!
- The Big Show then power-bombed Eddie Guerrero on the hood of the low-rider!
- The Big Show then chokeslammed Eddie Guerrero on the top of the vehicle leaving him a bloody mess..
- MAIN EVENT: Rey Mysterio vs Johnny Stamboli (wow what a main event!)..
- Referee Brian Hebner ejects Nunzio & Chuck Palumbo from ringside before the match started..
- Rey Mysteri won after the 619 and West Coast Pop..
- BACKSTAGE: Shannon Moore / Funaki / Orlando Jordan + Matt Hardy + John Heidenreich..
- The 'smackdown! extras' are watching as Eddie Guerrero's low-ride is being towed away..
- Matt Hardy comes up to Shannon Moore and gives him a gift -- a framed poster of Matt Hardy..
- John Heidenreich shows up and asks Matt Hardy to give his tape to Stephanie McMahon..
- Matt Hardy says that Stephanie McMahon probably won't be General Manager after Sunday..
- Matt Hardy says he'll make sure it gets where it should go, but throws it in the garbage when John leaves..
- INTERVIEW: Michael Cole & The Undertaker + Brock Lesnar..
- The Undertaker explains the rules of a "Biker Chain" match, saying there will be no rules..
- The Undertaker says that there will be a chain hanging above the ring, and if you get it, you can use it..
- The Undertaker says he hopes Stephanie beats Vince at No Mercy
- Editor's Note: The Undertaker had to say that in case people started to think the WWE title match was important..
- Brock Lesnar attacked The Undertaker from behind, wrapped the chain around his neck and dragged him away!!
- ON STAGE: Brock Lesnar & The Undertaker..
- Brock Lesnar & The Undertaker brawl on the stage and down the ramp and into the ring..
- Brock Lesnar continues to drag The Undertaker around by the neck..
- Brock Lesnar drapped the chain over the ringpost and hung Undertaker from it!
- The Undertaker kicked Brock Lesnar in the face and got loose..
- The Undertaker reversed an F5 and wrapped the chain around Brock's neck..
- Brock Lesnar slows Undertaker down with a low-blow!
- The Undertaker gave Brock Lesnar a chokeslam in the middle of the ring and chases Brock Lesnar out of the ring!
- Smackdown! goes OFF THE AIR....
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