April 20, 2017
Orlando, FL (Impact Zone)
Commentary: Jeremy Borash & Da Pope
Results by: Gerald Bocook of Wrestleview.com
We open to a memoriam of Matt Anoa’i.
In the back, Earlier Today, Cowboy James Storm arrives at the Impact Zone. He’ll challenge Walking Armegeddon for the World Heavyweight Championship tonight! We then get a video package of James Storm winning the World Heavyweight Championship for the first time. Tonight, he’ll get a chance to become a two-time Champion. The video package than shows recent developments in the world of Impact, including the return of Magnus, the arrival of Alberto El Patron, Champion-of-all-things Lashley, the destruction of the DCC, X-Division Champion Trevor Lee, but the main story of the package is James Storm vs Lashley.
Live in the Impact Zone, Jeremy Borash greets us to tell us that all the Championships in Impact will be defended tonight. Two guys are already in the ring, but he says their names too quick for me to catch. Sirens and helicopter sounds signal the arrival of the Latin-American Exchange. Guess it doesn’t matter what their names are, eh?
World Tag Team Championship Match
LAX (Santana and Ortiz) w/ Homicide, Konnan and Diamante vs. Joel Coleman and Jake Holmes
Joel Coleman and Jakes Holmes, I think are their names. One is the guy that got wrecked by Josh Barnett a few weeks ago, if I recall correctly. Santana and Coleman start. Coleman flexes and eggs Santana on. Santana charges with an elbow, whipe Coleman to the ropes and hammers him down. Front facelock, tag out to Ortiz.
Irishi whip into Ortiz and some impressive tag team moves from the LAX, including an enzuigiri into a back suplex. Ortiz elbows Holmes down and then hammers at Coleman. Vertical suplex, Ortiz off the top with a cross body. Covers; one, two– broken by Holmes.
Stomps at Coleman, another tag. Coleman fights off the double team Tags in to Holmes.
Santana charges, elbowed down. Holmes in, throws Ortiz down. Holmes with an Irish whip reversal, Ortiz gets his feet up and kicks Santana away, and Santana drops Holmes with a cutter! Santana drops down and Ortiz charges, hopping off Santana and hitting a flying cannonball onto Holmes in the corner! Santana dropkicks Coleman off the apron, Ortiz picks Holmes up for a powerbomb, Santana off the top with a seated senton! Street Sweeper! Holmes is covered; one, two, three!!
Winners and STILL Impact World Tag Team Champions: LAX (Street Sweeper)
Konnan gets on the mic and says that he’s here to take power from the good ol’ boys. He introduces Homicide, the notorious 187. Diamante checks hos; you act like a ho, you get checked. And the World Tag Team Champions, Ortiz and Santana, who are going to unleash violence like never before. Konnan calls the Impact Zone “Houston” before correcting himself. The lights go out and Decay makes their way to the ring! They start brawling! Abyss is whipping Ortiz and Steve is on Santana, throwing him into a chair! It takes Homicide, Ortiz, and Konnan to start getting the btter of Abyss! Ortiz gets a chokeslam! Konnan gets hammered down. Santana takes Abyss down outta nowhere with a dropkick off the top! Steve hammers away at Santana, wrapping him in the ropes and biting him! They cut away to commercial!
— Commercial break —
The brawl continued during the break, and saw Santana flip over the top rope into Decay and a bunch of security! They’re all cleaned up now, though, just in time for Karen Jarrett to make her way to the ring. She grabs a ring and says the Impact Zone is on fire tonight. Tonight is a momentous occasion for Impact. Since the ownership change, they’ve been retooling things to make Impact the best it can be. They are #MakeImpactGreat. She says she’s the co-founder of Global Force Wrestling and says that the two promotions have merged. They’re creating working relationships with promotions all across the world. Tonight is a Night of Champions. The Knockouts Championship will be defended against ODB. The X-Division Championship will be defended against Andrew Everett. And the World Heavyweight Championship will be defended against “One of the toughest men this business has ever produced,” Cowboy James Storm. She says she wants to bring someone out, but Sonjay Dutt comes out! He’s wearing day clothes and a ball cap, so not ready for in-ring action. Karen seems overjoyed. “Welcome back!” chant! Dutt and Jarrett hug.
Dutt says it feels great to be back in the Impact Zone. He introduces himself as the original playa from the Himalaya. He said he helped become a pioneer of the X-Division. Week in, week out, he and a group of ridiculously talented men made the X-Division a cornerstone of the company. He suggests making the X-Division Championship match the main event. And a triple threat, with Sonjay Dutt added in! Sonjay Dutt wants to become X-Division Champion for the first time. Andrew Everett interrupts and comes down looking peeved.
Everett says he respects Dutt as a pioneer, but Shane Helms has been trying to pull the rug under Everett’s feet for weeks. With all due respect, Lee and the Championship are his and his alone. Lee comes out with Helms, and Helms goes off saying “hell, no.” Helms asks who the three losers in the ring are. If there’s a conversation about the X-Division Champion, Helms is the guy to talk to. Helms says that Dutt is the comeback that nobody asked for. Here’s a concept for Sonjay to wrestle with; if Sonjay was here for years, and never won a Championship, maybe he sucks. Helms tells Karen that he runs the X-Division. This brings out Bruce Prichard.
Prichard says he’s been listening to everyone in the back. He says Helms doesn’t run a damn thing around here. Prichard says Dutt has a hell of an idea making the X-Division Championship match the main event. Prichard says that Lee’ll defend the Championship against Andrew Everett and Sonjay Dutt, but that still leaves three corners in the six-sided ring empty. He’s going to go find three more X-Division wrestlers to fill those corners! Lee goes after Everett and Helms attacks Dutt! Lee goes to assault Dutt but Everett kicks Lee back, and Dutt kicks Lee out of the ring! Dutt and Everett both grab for the X-Division Championship and start to argue!
VOW reintroduces Crimson, Anthony Mayweather, and he talks about not having a father figure in his life and that making him the man he is today. He talks about his life, his son, and needing to make something of himself. Next Week, VOW.
— Commercial break —
Quick promo for the One Night Only: Victory Road Knockouts Knockdown PPV.
Back in the Impact Zone, ODB is heading down the ramp for her shot at Rosemary and the Knockouts Championship. Will ODB become a five-time Knocked-Up Champion?
Rosemary (c) vs. ODB
Bell rings and Rosemary charges. ODB moves out of the way and fires away with elbows and punches. ODB to the ropes, discus elbow! ODB charges Rosemary in the corner, big splash, Rosemary up on ODB’s shoulders, but Rosemary escapes out of the ring! ODB follows, but Rosemary rolls back in. She goes to elbow drop ODB when she rolls in, but ODB slips back out and Rosemary hits air! ODB grabs Rosemary out by her legs and faceplants her on the outside! ODB tries to suplex Rosemary on the entrance ramp, but Rosemary escapes and lariats ODB down! Rosemary grabs ODB by the hair and rolls her in ghe ring, She mounts and fires down elbows, yelling at the referee when he tries to intervene. ODB in the corner and Rosemary chops her throat, heads across the ring and charges with a flying forearm! Captured suplex from Rosemary! Rosemary heads up top, ODB gets to her feet, Rosemary leaps off– dropkicked is ducked by ODB! Rosemary charges, ODB snatches her up and hits a fallaway slam! Shoulder tackles from ODB take Rosemary down, ODB up on the ropes and slams Rosemary’s head on the top turnbuckle repeatedly, Thesz press off the top! One, tw– kickout!
Rosemary shoves ODB into the corner, charges, ODB out of the way and Rosemary drops! ODB goes for the bronco buster but Rosemary gets a boot up, pulls ODB up– Red Wedding!! Rosemary covers; one, two, three!!
Winner and STILL Impact Knockouts Champion by pinfall: Rosemary (Red Wedding)
Rosemary gloats for a moment before exiting the ring. At the announce booth, Borash runs down the remaining Championship matches. We see ‘Swoggle slapping hands with fans. He high-fives Borash and ignores Pope, then taunts Rockstar Spud. Borash informs us that Decay will challenge LAX for the Tag Team Championship next week.
— Commercial break —
McKenzie Mitchell is in the back, wanting to find out who the other participants in tonight’s main event will be. Jarrett and Pritchard come out and Pritchard lets McKenzie know that Suicide will be participating. Pritchard says the others will be announced in due time. Sienna confronts Jarrett about GFW “guys” in the back, but there aren’t any Women. Where’s the Women’s Champion? Jarrett says she’ll be here, and Sienna better be ready. Sienna storms off.
Recap video of Laurel/Braxton and the whole foofarah, leading to the debut of Kongo Kong and Sienna and Laurel’s assault on Allie.
In the ring, a guy named Chris Silvio is waiting in the ring. Kongo Kong makes his way to the ring, accompanied by a still-wasted Laurel van Ness, KM, and Sienna. Laurel keeps trying to hand KM her shows, and KM just doesn’t care and drops them. Sienna keeps doing this pinkie thing.
Kongo Kong vs. Chris Silvio
Kong charges Silvio and splashes him in the corner before beiling him across the ring. Silvio tries to get some punches in, hits the ropes, but Kongo splashes him in the ropes and hip tosses him. Silvio in the corner, Kongo with the cannonball in the corner. Kong drags him to the middle of the ring, heads up top, huge splash to Silvio! Silvio is convulsing! Kong covers; one, two, three!
Winner by pinfall: Kongo Kong (Top-Rope Splash)
In the back, James Storm says he feels pretty good, but ask Lashley. Storm says he knows that Lashley wakes up at night thinking about James Storm. Lashley thinks he’s the best wrestler in this company, but James Storm knows he is. James Storm says that Lashley is only about eight inches tall when he’s lying on his damn back. And when he’s down there, all he’ll hear is “Sorry ‘bout your damn luck!” Storm’s gotta go; he has a World Championship to win.
— Commercial break —
Interview with Alberto El Patron, who’s out of the country. El Patron says that if Storm wins, they’re going to have a hell of a match. If Lashley wins, he’s just going to kick Lashley’s ass because Lashley stole something from him. Alberto will be Impact Wrestling Champion.
Backstage with McKenzie is Magnus, the GFW Champion. Magnus says he came back to help out an old friend. But he heard this rumor that Alberto El PAtorn was staking claim to World Championship #1 Contender. Magnus has a problem with that; what has El Patron done to earn that right? Nothing. Magnus says he’s GFW Champion, and that’s a golden ticket. He got the pin in the eight-man tag. He’s the next in the line. He’s going to watch this match.
James Storm comes to the Impact Zone. His video wall is messed up. He has a six-pack of bottles with him, but only five of them make the way to the ringside area. Only three make it to the ring after he drops one off for Da Pope. Lashley is out next, followed by Josh Mathews. Mathews exits the ring and heads over to the announce table. Mathews says that he’s here because someone had to save this show. Borash makes introductions before returning to the announce booth. Mathews insults everyone and it’s painful to listen to. “Mathews Sucks” chants for this main event.
World Championship Match
Lashley (c) w/ Josh Mathews vs. “Cowboy” James Storm
Bell rings and both men circle. Tie-up, Lashley shoves Storm into the corner. Ref forces a break and both men stand face-to-face. Tip-up, Lashley in the corner and the crowd is chanting “Josh is boring.” Both competitors face-to-face and start shoving. Storm ducks a punch and elbows away at Lashley. Storm hits the ropes, Lashley lariats him down! Lsshley spears Storm in the corner! Lashley neckbreaker to Storm. Lashley stomps at Storm. Lashley tosses Storm over the ropes, but Storm holds on, flips back in, lariats Lashley down, splash in the corner, clothesline over the top! Lashley on the floor, taking his time getting in. Storm follows, but Lashley fights him off, throwing him into the guard rail! Ethan Carter III is down at the ring, and he yells at Josh Mathews as Mathews tries to hand Lashley a beer bottle to bash Storm as the crowd chants “Thank you Ethan!” Storm and Lashley fight around the ring and Lashley suplexes Storm on the top of the steel steps! Lashley punches Storm on the stairs.
— Commercial break —
Elbow drop from Lashley to a downed Storm. Cover; one, two– kickout.
Lashley pulls Storm up and chokes him against the middle rope before crossfacing the challenger. Lashley chokes Storm with his boot. Storm up and Lashley punches him down. Cover; one, two– kickout.
Rear sleeper from Lashley but Storm fights off, shoves Lashley to the ropes and applies a sleeper of his own! Lashley throws Storm out of it, shoves Storm to the ropes, huge tilt-a-whirl slam! Lashley covers; one, two, th– kickout!
Lashley does that jumping butt smash thing, still don’t know what to call that. Lashley pulls Storm up and rolls him, hits the ropes, but Storm is up and lariats Lashley! Charges Lashley in the corner, tosses over the top ropes, Enzuigiri from Storm staggers Lashley! Storm back in, hits the ropes, neckbreaker! Cover; one, two, th– kickout!
Storm whips Lashley to the corner, charges, Lashley gets a boot up! Storm with an enzuigiri! Storm heads up, front facelock, trying for a superplex but Lashley shoves him away. Lashley up on the top, but Storm charges and a throwing overhead suplex sends Lashley flying! Storm hits the top, jumping elbow drop! Storm covers; one, two, th– kickout!!
Storm with a lungblower to Lashley! Lashley staggers up, Storm goes for the Last Call but Lashley catches the leg and elbows Storm in the head! Storm catches Lashley off guard, powerbomb from Storm! Cover; one, two, thr– kickout!
Storm rolls Lashley up; one, two– kickout!!
Lashley with a kick to the gut and picks Storm up; Dominator! Cover; one, two, thre– kickout!
Lashley heads outside and starts digging under the apron. Lashley grabs a chair from ringside and takes it in the ring. Lashley swings, Storm ducks, and the chair hits the top rope and rebounds into Lashley’s face! Storm covers; one, two, thre– kickout!!
Lashley shoves Storm into the ref! Storm with a Last Call! Storm with a second Last Call! Storm covers, but the ref is down! Storm gets up and kicks the chair out of the ring after a moment. Storm exits the ring and grabs a beer from the announce table, taking a swig before reentering the ring. EC3 slides in and grabs the bottle, smashing Storm in the head with the bottle! He shrugs and exits the ring. Lashley stalks Storm, hits the ropes, Spear! Lashley covers, and the referee takes a long moment to make the count; one, two, three!
Winner and STILL Impact World Heavyweight Champion by pinfall: Lashley (Spear)
Mathews and Borash argue over who brought what in the ring. Lashley exits the ring and slaps hands with some fans.
In the back, Dutch Mantell is exiting the office when McKenzie Mitchell who the other competitors in the main event will be. Mantell says the fifth man is, I think his name is Desmond Xavier. Mantell says that if you’ve never heard of him, you’ll know him by the end of the match. The sixth competitor will be announced when he arrives in the Impact Zone.
— Commercial break —
We get a video package of Chris Adonis attacking Impact Grand Champion Moose at Border City Wrestling, putting Moose in the Adonis-lock and taking Moose out. In the back, Moose is with McKenzie. He issues a challenge to Adonis. Adonis pops up and says that Moose assaulted him, breaking his arm. Adonis says that it’s convenient that Moose wants to challenge him now, but while he won’t be ready, he knows someone that will be. Davey Richards attacks Moose from behind!
Josh Mathews is still on commentary. No, please, no.
X-Division hype reel.
Sonjay Dutt is heading to the ring. Dezmond Xavier is called the “Kardiac Kid”. There’s an “Andrew Everett is my dad!” sign in the crowd. Trevor Lee and Shane Helms are out fifth. The sixth competitor is… Oooh, I can’t handle the antici–
— Commercial break —
It’s Low-Ki!!!! HOLY CRAP, SON!! Low-Ki is cosplaying as Hitman’s Agent 47, though. Why?
X Division Championship Match
Trevor Lee (c) vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Suicide vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Andrew Everett vs. Low-Ki
Bell rings and Everett charges Lee. They fall outside and Low-Ki combats Xavier, Dutt, and Suicide. Suicide whips Ki to the corner and Ki handstand dropkicks Suicide. Lee charges Ki from behind and smashes him in the corner. Lee whips Suicide, but Suicide pulls him into an Octopus hold! Xavier charges, Suicide kicks him in the face and puts him in the Octopus hold! Everett charges and Xavier and and Suicide back body drop him! Dutt with a tornado DDT on Xavier but only after kicking all the other competitors!
Huge chain of quick pins between all the competitors before a six-man dueling dropkick. Lee starts shoving and pie-facing everyone. Lee starts back elbowing everyone as they charge, but they all dropkick Lee down and send him outside! In the ring, Xavier and Ki battle, Xavier whips Ki to the ropes but he jumps through and kicks Suicide on the outside! Lee on the apron and kicks Low-Ki’s head off! Dezmond does some crazy stuff flipping over Dutt and Low-Ki, ending with him doing a cartwheel handspring over the top rope onto the outside into Lee, Dutt, Suicide, and Everett after he did a backflip over a charging Low-Ki while in the corner!
— Commercial break —
Back to the action, and Trevor Lee catches and enzuigiri from Everett on the apron. Everett springboards in, but Lee moves out of the way, Everett hits the ropes and Lee with a leaping double stomp to Everett. Lee covers; one, two– kickout.
Dezmond in, but Lee quickly tosses him right back out. Lee with a hard whip to Everett, throwing him into the corner. Lee punches Everett away but Everett comes back with a punch before Lee gouges the eyes. Suicide on the apron but Lee kicks him down. Xavier back on the apron and Lee throws him right back out again. Lee chokes Everett with his boot before chopping Everett. The commentators say that Sonjay Dutt might not return to the ring and his right eye is swelled shut. In the ring, dropkick from Lee to Everett. Cover; one, two– kickout.
Low-Ki gets dumped from the apron again as Lee chokes Everett against the rope. Xavier back in and Lee kicks him in the gut before throwing him out again. Mathews threatens us by saying he’ll be back at the booth next week. He says he left, but now he’s back. Oh, god, no. In the ring, Lee kicks Everett down and covers; one, two– kickout.
Lee with a rear chinlock and grinds his fist against Everett’s head. Irish whip, Everett ducks a clothesline and connects with a handspring elbow! Low-Ki is in, and Lee tosses Everett out before tossing Ki out! Xavier back in, and Lee with a huge beil! Suicide in and he chops Lee in the corner before Lee rakes Suicide’s eyes! Everett in, and another huge beil! Lee celebrates in the center of the ring! Lee stalks Everett before kicking Xavier out of the ring. Lee charges, Everett leapfrogs, Pele kick! Low-Ki lariats, Everett ducks, Pele kick! Sonjay Dutt with superkicks to Ki and Xavier!
Collision Course! Two-count with Low-Ki breaks it up with a double stomp! Low-Ki gets dumped out of the ring, Lee charges Suicide in the ropes and Suicide ducks, Low-Ki kicks Everett in the head! Ki back in and Sonjay Dutt off the top to Ki! Cover; one, two– kickout!
Sonjay grabs Ki, but Suicide breaks it up and tosses Dutt out. Suicide goes to toss Everett, but Everett tosses Suicide to the apron. Suicide kicks Everett away and then a Suicide Plunge into Lee, Ki, and Xavier! Everett is alone in the ring, and he springboard Shooting Star Presses into the whole group of competitors! I think Lee was out of the way, though! Everett grabs Suicide and tosses him back into the ring. Everett climbs up the corner, but Xavier cuts him off! Xavier is up top but Everett tries to stop him! Everett tries to Super Frankendriver Dezmond, but Xavier lands on his feet! Everett ducks an attack and hits the Frankendriver! Frankendriver on Trevor Lee!
Warrior’s Way from Low-Ki to Trevor Lee! Ki covers; one, two, three!!
Winner and NEW X Division Champion by pinfall: Low-Ki (Warrior’s Way)
Josh Mathews berates Jeremy Borash for applauding Low-Ki for winning and then puts himself over as an X-Division competitor. Mathews gets in the face of Borash and Pope, insulting both men, and Pope tells Mathews to go to hell before walking off. Mathews eggs Borash on and Borash slugs Mathews, knocking his headset off of him! We go to the end of the show as the referee raises Low-Ki’s hand in victory on the entrance ramp.
1) LAX def Joel Coleman and Jake Holmes to retain World Tag Team Championships
2) Rosemary def ODB to retain Knockouts Championship
3) Kongo Kong def Chris Silvio
4) Lashley def James Storm to retain World Heavyweight Championship
5) Low-Ki won a Six-Pack Challenge to become X-Division Champion
– Decay challenges LAX for the World Tag Team Championship
– Moose defends the Impact Grand Championship against Angelina Love’s Davey Richards
– I guess Josh Mathews is already back? Hooray.
And that was Impact! Don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comments below, or find me on Twitter @TheGREATMoto and let me know how happy you were for that seventy minutes that Josh Mathews was off the announce team! I’ll see you all next week.