TNA iMPACT – 2008 07 17

TNA iMPACT

Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: July 17, 2008 (Taped: July 15)

IN THE RING
Booker T & Sharmell + Jim Cornette + Samoa Joe: Booker T came out recapped his controversial victory over Samoa Joe at Victory Road and proclaimed himself the TNA World Heavyweight title. Jim Cornette came out and ordered Booker T to give the TNA World championship back to Samoa Joe. Cornette said that Booker T would have to win it from Samoa Joe at Hard Justice. Samoa Joe came out to the ring in a suit and confronted Booker T. Booker T said Samoa Joe can’t beat him, and confidently held the TNA belt out. Joe did not take the belt, because he has never taken a hand-out from a Punk and never will. Joe said Booker T can hold onto the belt as a reminder of what he is going to do to him at Hard Justice. Joe said when he is done with Booker T he will get his revenge on Sting!

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW
Lauren & Beer Money (Robert Roode & James Storm w/Jackie Moore): Robert Roode and James Storm were still hurting from their loss in the Fans Revenge Lumberjack Strap match at Victory Road. Roode said they were going to get their revenge by whipping some random fans with leather straps tonight!

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW
Jeremy Borash & Kaz (Frankie Kazarian): Kaz said that he let down every X-Division wrestler who has stepped into a TNA ring and now he has to erase that.

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH
Petey Williams w/Rhaka Khan defeated Kaz to retain the TNA X-Division title: Kaz continues to be very disappointed with himself.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW
Jeremy Borash & Eric Young: Eric Young told Jeremy Borash that tonight was the top secret meeting of the Prince Justice Brotherhood. Eric told JB not to tell anybody, but promised to report back to him afterwards.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW
Jeremy Borash & Samoa Joe + Kevin Nash: Jeremy Borash asked if it was true what people were saying about Sting. Kevin Nash came in and said he never doubted that Joe could beat Booker T, but he wanted to motivate him. Nash said Joe is the best in the game, and praised Joe’s fighting ability. Joe said he didn’t beat Booker T, even after throwing everything at him. Joe started to doubt himself, and Nash told him that’s what Booker T wants. Nash said Booker T did not win that match, Joe won the match. Joe said he knows who walked out with the belt, and it wasn’t him. Nash concluded, “when a man stops believing in himself, he’s got nothing left.”

IN THE PRODUCTION TRUCK
Beer Money (Robert Roode & James Storm): Cameras found Roode and Storm whipping random members of the production staff with leather belts, and then started whipping the camera which was filming them.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW
Jeremy Borash & Sting & Sting & Sting: Jeremy Borash was in the parking lot to greet Sting, but three guys (Kurt Angle & Team 3-D) stepped out of the limousine wearing Sting masks. What the hell?

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Jeremy Borash & Super Eric & Curry Man & Shark Boy: Jeremy Borash found the “Prince Justice Brotherhood” gathering. Super Eric denied knowing who Eric Young was. Super Eric said they were they there to discuss how to eliminate the filth in TNA. Super Eric said he had to go drain the Super Hero Gun, and Shark Boy explained to Curry Man that Eric had to go take a piss. Suddenly, Robert Roode and James Storm showed up and started whipping Curry Man and Shark Boy with leather straps!

EDITOR’S NOTES
From Brad Dykens to Dixie Carter, Jeff Jarrett, Terry Taylor, and everybody else in TNA: Screw off with all the stupid backstage bullshit and you might be able to break a 1.0 rating one of these days! Eight none-wrestling segments to one wrestling match is absolutely TERRIBLE production. Get a damn clue, people! Seriously your show reeking of utter death right now! Here’s some free advice; If you open your show with an in-ring talking segment, FINE, but follow that up with a hot match – NOT three more lame backstage segments, a five minute match, and four more backstage segments! You expect fans to get hooked on your product when you present a show like this?!?!? There’s a very good an obvious reason your rating hasn’t budged in three years. HELLO, MCFLY!

SINGLES MATCH
Matt Morgan defeated Jimmy Rave w/Christy Hemme in 2 minutes: After the match, Lance Hoyt challenged Matt Morgan to a match on the spot.

SINGLES MATCH
Matt Morgan defeated Lance Hoyt w/Christy Hemme in 3 minutes:

ANOTHER BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Jeremy Borash & Jim Cornette & The TNA Knockouts: Jim Cornette tried to calm the rowdy Knockouts down. Cornette announced a 10-girl Knockout Gauntlet match where the winner will face Taylor Wilde next week for the TNA Knockout’s title. The room cleared out and a grinning Tracy Brooks suggested that it might be a good time for Cornette to take her up on her offer.

TALK SEGMENT PREVIEW
Karen Angle: Oh great, Karen Angle is getting her own Talk Show segment on iMPACT. Just what the show needs, another lame talking segment that nobody cares about and takes away from actual in-ring wrestling on a wrestling program.

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS
Lauren & Beer Money (Robert Roode & James Storm): Robert Roode & James Storm left the building and started whipping random “fans” in the area.

IN-RING SEGMENT (CAUSE THAT’S WHAT THIS SHOW NEEDS)
Kurt Angle & Team 3-D (dressed as Sting): Kurt Angle said they were there to welcome Sting into their fraternity. Kurt said Sting finally showed his true colors at Victory Road and the people want to know why. Kurt said Sting is sick of the young punks who have no respect for the business. A.J. Styles (with Christian Cage & Rhino) came out and said he trusts Sting and says he must have had a good reason for doing what he did at Victory Road. Styles challenged Kurt Angle & Team 3-D to a rematch. Brother Ray said Styles was a little man in a grown man’s business, Rhino has no brains, and Christian’s ego is bigger than Awesome Kong’s toilet seat (that’s not cool). Brother Ray accepted the challenge for a rematch at Hard Justice. Christian Cage cut in and said the match wouldn’t take place at Hard Justice, it would take place next week on iMPACT and it would be a five table elimination match!

TNA KNOCKOUTS GAUNTLET #1 CONTENDERS MATCH
Won by Velvet Sky: The match starts with two, with a new entrant every sixty seconds. Eliminations occur when a Knockout is thrown over the top rope to the floor. Gail Kim and Jackie Moore started the match. Angelina Love entered next (#3). Salinas entered next (#4), Velvet Sky entered next (#5), Roxxi Laveaux entered next (#6), Salinas was eliminated, Rhaka Khan entered next (#7), Tracy Brooks entered next (#8), Christy Hemme entered next (#9), ODB was the final entrant (#10). Rhaka Khan was eliminated. Christy Hemme was eliminated. Tracy Brooks was eliminated. ODB was eliminated. Roxxi Laveaux was eliminated. Jackie Moore was eliminated. Final 3: Gail Kim, Angelina Love, & Velvet Sky….. Angelina Love was eliminated. Velvet Sky defeated Gail Kim by pinfall in the finals to earn a TNA Knockout’s title shot next week!

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW
Jeremy Borash & Booker T & Sharmell: Jeremy Borash said Booker T was allowed to pick his own opponent and stipulation tonight. Booker T said he was giving Consequences Creed a shot at the TNA World Heavyweight title. Booker T called 911 and requested an ambulance to come to the iMPACT Zone tonight. Booker T announced that the match would be a stretcher match!

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW
Jeremy Borash & “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal & So-Cal Val: Jay Lethal cut a promo on Sonjay Dutt, but So-Cal Val mysteriously stuck up for Dutt and said Lethal was being way too hard on him..

TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
Sonjay Dutt defeated Eric Young and Johnny Devine: After the match, Jay Lethal attacked Sonjay Dutt for a few moments before Johnny Devine jumped in to help Dutt double-team Lethal. Lethal recovered and tossed Devine out of the ring and started to assault Dutt! So-Cal Val ran down to try to stop Lethal from hurting Dutt. Lethal was about to whack Dutt with a chair, but Val pulled the chair away. Val convinced Lethal to stop, then she turned her back. Dutt picked up the chair, whacked the ring post, and tossed the chair to Lethal. Dutt then acted as if Lethal had smashed him with the chair, and Val aggressively scolded Lethal for being an animal! Dutt grinned.

IN-RING SEGMENT (YUP, ANOTHER ONE)
Beer Money (Robert Roode & James Storm): Robert Roode scolded the fans for laughing at them when they were whipped like dogs at Victory Road. Roode and Storm threatened to whip random fans from the crowd. Roode and Storm pulled a fan, who was obviously not a real fan, out of the front row and started whipping him mercilessly with leather straps. TNA Agent’s Pat Kenney and Scott D’Amore tried to reason with Roode and Storm but they got whipped too. Roode and Storm then went after Hector Guerrero and whipped him repeatedly with the straps and beat the living crap out of him. They hand-cuffed Guerrero to the ring and started whipping his bare back with the leather. Finally LAX (Homicide & Hernandez) ran down to chase the heels away from the ring. What took so long.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW (MORE USELESS TALKING)
Jeremy Borash & Kurt Angle & Team 3-D & Tomko: None of this matters, except Kurt Angle said that Sting would be in their corner next week.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW
Lauren & Consequences Creed: A pumped up Consequences Creed said that this was just the opportunity he was looking for. This poor hyper challenger has no idea what he’s in store for.

STRETCHER MATCH
Booker T w/Sharmell defeated Consequences Creed: After the match, Booker T tried to put Consequences Creed into an ambulance. Samoa Joe jumped out of the ambulance and threw Booker T inside! The ambulance drove off with Booker T inside, and Joe caught Sharmell as she attempted to whack him with a black baseball bat. Joe screamed, “who gave you this?” but Sharmell ran off after the ambulance calling out for her husband.

EDITOR’S NOTE
From Brad Dykens: I apologize to my readers for inserting my personal opinions into this recap of TNA iMPACT but I sick and tired of watching this show week after week and seeing the same simple bonehead mistakes being made by the so-called genius’s who are in charge of creative. Do you need a clue? Your ratings SUCK. Frickin’ change!