Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: July 29, 2010 (Taped: July 26th)
Commentators: Mike Tenay & Taz
[ REVIEWED BY NIKHIL KALHAN ]
EV 2.0 (Tommy Dreamer & Mick Foley & Raven & Stevie Richards & Rhino & Brother Devon) + Brother Ray + Taz + Hulk Hogan + Abyss & Janice + Dixie Carter: Tommy Dreamer opened the show and said the iMPACT Zone was loud tonight and the crowd will be ready for Hardcore Justice! Dreamer said due to legal problems with certain words in the alphabet, they will be now calling themselves EV 2.0! Tommy thanked Brother Devon for joining them but a certain angry man hasn’t joined them yet. Brother Devon took the mic and asked “Bubba” to come out, and he did. Bubba has a new tattoo on his right wrist. Devon wanted to put all there problems aside with Jesse Neal and join the ‘family’ because these guys were with them when they started and have been there since day one. (So the years of matches against one another mean nothing?) Devon asked the question “are you in or out?” Ray walked back up the ramp. Tommy Dreamer got the mic and explained that this was their last chance and see it as a example of Ray’s favourite band reuniting K.I.S.S! And let’s do it one more time for the fans. Mick Foley then spoke and said this PPV will be brilliant with or without Ray, however, it will be even better with Ray involved. Foley lectured Ray saying when you look back on your career with the mistakes you have made, not participating in this show this will be one big regret. Foley demanded that Ray come into the ring. Ray nodded his head in disapproval, but suddenly Taz got up from his seat and told him to join them. Ray stepped into the ring and asked Devon one question “are we going to light somebody on fire?” Devon grinned. Massive “EV 2.0” chants and Brother Ray said he is in and hugged Devon and the rest of the group. Hulk Hogan’s music played and he made his way to the ring. Hogan thanked them they are reuniting in TNA, but was upset that he didn’t know about the announcement beforehand and welcomed them to TNA. Hogan called them the nineties of what he was in the eighties, but he missed it, because during the 90’s while they were hardcore he had a black beard ruling his world (WCW/nWo reference, the good old days). Abyss then came out with Janice and told them “THEY” were not happy about this reunion and pissed-off, because it was not part of THEIR plan and “THEY” don’t blame Tommy Dreamer even though his end has come, not Mick Foley, not even Hulk Hogan, but Dixie Carter for this reunion. They showed Dixie on camera with a view of one of her boobs. Hogan interrupted and said Abyss should take the road and sit at a hospital to get his head checked out and treat Tommy with respect as he is a guest in TNA. Abyss said “THEY” have been given strict orders to take Tommy out tonight. Dreamer accepted the challenge for tonight, after Hogan refused at first.
Velvet Sky & Lacey Von Erich + Madison Rayne: Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich were arguing, when Madison Rayne walked in and said they should become BFFs again and why ruin everything as they have all the titles and run the division. Velvet Sky said it was Madison Rayne who ruined everything after she added another member of there group and her relationship with Sarita. Madison said Sarita was in a number one contender match tonight and she invited them to join them when they left last week. Madison apologized and wanted a truce. Velvet disapproved at first and then they hugged and made a truce.
#1 CONTENDERS MATCH FOR THE TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE
Angelina Love defeated Sarita: Angelina Love hit the Botox injection for the win and became the number one contender – she wants her title back!
Eric Young & Orlando Jordan: Eric wanted to have matching helmets for when they go to the ring, but Orlando Jordan said forget all that because they need to be ready for their tag match tonight. Eric said he was high on “rum candy” he brought in Canada and has been eating it all week. Eric said he is a bit messed up and has back-up for Orlando Jordan tonight and can’t wait to see him. Orlando Jordan finished up by saying “I thought I had problems”.
VIDEO SEGMENT: Eric Young’s strange behaviour was revealed after a bump on his head during a match on Xplosion against Suicide two weeks ago.
TAG TEAM MATCH
Ink Inc. (Jesse Neal & Shannon Moore) defeated Orlando Jordan & Eric Young w/Mannequin: Before the match, Orlando Jordan put chewing gum in his mouth then put it into So Cal Val’s mouth (she cringed and spit it out). Eric Young brought a manniquin to the ring and set it up in the corner. I cannot believe what they are doing to Eric Young. Ink Inc got the win after hitting the Mooregasm for the pin after Eric Young distracted his partner with the manniquin.
Ric Flair & Fortune (A.J. Styles & Frankie Kazarian) & Beer Money Inc. ( Robert Roode & James Storm) + Kurt Angle: Ric Flair was joined by the first two members of Fortune as well as Beer Money. Flair said “he felt excitement in the air, woooo!” Flair explained to Jay Lethal he was a God and genius and said in all of his contracts he signs there is always a rematch clause so next week on iMPACT he and Lethal were going to have a street fight and he was prepared to sweat and bleed next week “my smallest black brother be ready, *looks at everyone* that’s right my smallest black brother, you have the nature boy in a street fight woo,wooo,wooo”. Ric Flair changed topic and talked about ‘Fortune’ and introduced the newest members Beer Money Inc.. Flair called them the real muscle of TNA and said girls, after the matches, they are a handful. Robert Roode took the mic and said it was a honor to join but it was just a matter of time because they are the greatest faction in the business today and without the greatest tag team in the business today, it wouldn’t be the same. Roode said they will defeat the Motor City Machine Guns tonight in a steel cage for the third week in a row and become, “how fitting the four time woo, four time wooo, four time, wooo” world tag team champions!” Flair took the mic and said now lets talk about the new Global champion A.J. Styles, of course with a assist from Kazarian. Styles allowed Kazarian to say a few words (cutting an Arn Anderson-style promo). Kazarian said “what you see is not a bunch of angry rookies” (Shot at the WWE/Nexus angle). Kazarian called themselves the greatest faction ever in the TNA Galaxy (shot at the WWE universe). Styles took the mic and said do you know why we are the best, because Ric Flair deserves the best, respect and out of this respect, he will give credibility to this title and defend it any country around the whole world. Styles renamed it the “Television Title,” because the Global never drew ratings and Fortune does. Styles explained he will defend it every week on TV and PPV starting next week for the Televsion title against Rob Terry if he can get past Kazarian tonight. Flair finished up by saying, girls Fortune will be at the hotel all night long and they have the game, between the age of 18-28 they will be there all night long and Fortune are the greatest thing going today!!!! “WOOOOOO” Kurt Angle’s music suddenly hit. Angle was happy A.J. would honor his title but he also has a commitment, which would mean winning the TNA title and A.J. was next on his list and “it’s real, it’s damn real”!!
TNA TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH – BEST OF 5 SERIES (MATCH #3) [STEEL CAGE MATCH]
The Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) defeated Beer Money Inc. ( Robert Roode & James Storm): This was a must win match for the Guns and they achieved it! The Machine Guns came in from behind and did a double cross body on new members of Fortune to start the match. Sabin threw Roode in the steel cage and he was busted pretty bad. Beer Money dominated Alex Shelley for a while and then finally got the hot tag to Chris Sabin who started to clear house. Great match that pumped the crowd and then Sabin off the top of the cage hit a double cross-body onto Beer Money!!! James Storm tried to hit Sabin with the beer bottle but he moved and hit Roode,then the Guns hit the frog splash/neck breaker combination for the win.2-1 The Guns are back in it, what a match!!!! Ultimate X next week!!
Matt Morgan + Mr. Anderson + Jeff Hardy + Gunner & Murphy + Al Snow & D’Lo Brown & Pat Keeney: Mr. Anderson’s music hit but Matt Morgan came out instead. Morgan asked for the microphone to be lowered down but it did not come, so he started shouting at the guy who lowers it down and eventually he got it. Morgan copied Anderson’s intro and said “he is near 8ft tall, weighed at 384 ¼ pounds, he hails from the mean streets of Fairfield Connecticut he is the DNA of TNA,MVP Of Spike TV, The Blue-Print Matt Morgan…..”wait for it”….Morgan. The Real Mr. Anderson came out to the stage and got his mic and said “that’s how easy it was” and did it again. Anderson came to the ring to get a bit closer. Morgan said this mic left Anderson in a pool of blood last week ( No blood whatsoever). Morgan mocked Anderson pushing him to hit him on the chin, Anderson low blowed Morgan and started to hammer away on Morgan, Morgan reversed it and started to take control and choked Anderson with the mic. Jeff Hardy’s music hit and he came to the rescue and started to attack Morgan, then two security guys came out and one chucked Hardy out of the ring and blocked Anderson from getting to Morgan and were being quite physical to the wrestlers. The Road agents, D’Lo Brown, Al Snow, and Pat Keeney, came down and gave the riot act to the guards.
Christy Hemme & The Enigmatic Assholes (Mr. Anderson & Jeff Hardy): Mr. Anderson called the security guys has-beens and challenged them to a match tonight.
“The Freak” Rob Terry defeated (Frankie) Kazarian w/ A.J. Styles: One minute match and Kazarian loses! Andrew Thomas sent A.J. Styles to the back. Before being sent back, Styles spat at Rob Terry. Big Rob won the match with the freak-buster.
THREE-ON-TWO HANDICAP MATCH
The Enigmatic Assholes (Mr. Anderson & Jeff Hardy) defeated Matt Morgan & TNA Security (Gunner & Murphy): These security guys have wrestling backgrounds as they are known as Mikal Judas & Phil Shatter on the independent circuit. Morgan left the match and Anderson hit the Mic Check and the swanton bomb for the win.
Christy Hemme & Hulk Hogan: Christy Hemme caught up to Hogan before he left for a meeting in New York City.Christy wanted a few hints regarding Eric Bischoffs big announcement,he said you have heard a few bits and bobs,but Eric will explain it all and when he returns next week he has a lot to say about it.
Eric Bischoff & Miss Tessmocker + Abyss & Janice + Rob Van Dam + TNA Road Agents (Pat Kenney & D’Lo Brown & Al Snow) + Tommy Dreamer: Eric Bischoff & Miss Tessmocker were in the ring. Eric asked for a pen and Tessmocker pulled one out of her cleavage. Eric said to put down August 12th, 9PM eastern, because Dixie Carter motivated himself to do the right thing such as bringing back the man he fired, Mick Foley, and he was wrong. So TNA management needed to raise the bar and spoke with Spike executives and they will be giving the fans Pay Per View matches on free TV! Eric told everyone to thank Dixie and everyone did with a loud roar. Abyss’ music hit and he came out. Abyss took Eric’s mic and said “THEY” have a blueprint and this consists of Abyss to main event that special night and it needs to include a fifteen foot ladder, Rob Van Dam, and Janice. What they will do is hang Janice 15 feet over the ring and have the most extreme match ever. Abyss said the end will come when Abyss retrieves Janice and rip RVD’s flesh off his ass. Abyss said “THEY” have said only Eric Bischoff can make this happen. Bischoff agreed to the match after some intimidation from Abyss. Abyss told Eric he made a wise choice, but Janice remembered Bischoff bitch slapping Abyss a few weeks ago and now he will find out what a bitch really does. Abyss stalked Bischoff until Rob Van Dam made the save with a chair and he threw the chair smacking Abyss on the head and hit a van daminator, then hit a dropkick/chair combo. RVD tried to jump on Abyss but the monster moved and he hit the guardrail. Abyss went crazy and tried to go after Dixie Carter but she moved, suddenly the three road agents: Pat Keaney, D’Lo Brown, and Al Snow, came down with chairs to protect Rob Van Dam from further punishment. Al Snow grabbed Janice. Tommy Dreamer came out for the main event and Snow handed Janice to him as he entered the ring for his match with Abyss.
HARDCORE RULES/NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH
Abyss defeated Tommy Dreamer: Weapons used included cookie sheets, trashcans, trashcan lids, kendo sticks, steel chairs, and barbed wire boards. Abyss was hanging from the turnbuckle and Dreamer did that dropkick trashcan onto Abyss. Abyss got the win after a chokeslam onto the barbed wire board. Tommy Dreamer could not even move so why make him wrestle? After the match, Abyss threatened to do more damage, but Raven came out to put a stop to it. However, Raven suddenly smashed Tommy Dreamer with a chair then did the Raven effect!! He licked him and made it clear their issues from years ago were NOT OVER!
EDITOR’S NOTES: This is my last iMPACT review for two weeks as I will be on holiday in Orlando, Florida. If you haven’t seen a picture of me before, check out my facebook and try to spot me in the crowd for the PPV and the two tapings which follow!