Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: April 28, 2011 (Taped: April 19th)
Commentators: Mike Tenay & Taz
[ REVIEWED BY NIKHIL KALHAN ]
DARK MATCH: Sarita defeated Melanie Cruz
VIDEO PACKAGE: Highlights from last week’s iMPACT when Jeff Jarrett crowned Karen Angle as the “Queen Of the Mountain” and Kurt Angle’s threat of a secret mistress of his waiting to beat Karen Jarrett. Sting telling Hogan he is facing Rob Van Dam at Sacrifice and Hulk Hogan getting angry with “The Network” interfering in his business.
IN THE RING
TNA Knockouts + Jeff & Karen Jarrett + Angelina Love & Winter: The Ring was filled with all the Knockouts: Madison Rayne, Tara( looked lovely and was wearing a sexy outfit), Miss Tessmacher, Velvet Sky, Sarita, Rosita and two ladies from make-up and catering. Jeff and Karen Jarrett holding a umbrella in case more faeces falls on them. Karen Jarrett said they are out here to find the “mystery slut” Kurt Angle has hired and all the woman are suspects. Karen focused on this lady from catering who Karen accused of eyeing him for years by giving him first class service. The lady said she was doing her job and cooks for 50 other wrestlers and left. Karen had parting words for that her “Taco Tuesday sucked”. Karen focused on Jolene who does make up and called her a slut. She said she has been watching her as well the last few years, six years she has watched her grab Kurt Angle’s body the last six years, but it was her job and what she is paid to do. Karen focused on “Good old funbags herself” Miss Tessmacher herself, Karen said her and Kurt Angle arrived at the same time, Miss Tessmacher said she was here to earn her paycheck unlike some people. Karen said she also saw them at the gym together but Miss Tessmacher said there were 25 other stars there as well. She dropped her glasses on purpose and showed of her gorgeous ass to Jarrett who looked in disgust while Karen got jealous. Karen focused now on “rice and beans, the burrito sisters, hot and spicy”. Karen accused them of being there mistress because Kurt Angle is a American hero, Sarita told her to get her head out of ass because they are Mexican America and want nothing to do with any of these gringos. Karen Angle moved onto Madison Rayne and Tara as they were both TNA Champions, she accused of them riding together with Kurt Angle, Madison said Tara was a filthy slut and wouldn’t be surprised if she laid one for a Olympic gold medallist, Tara got pissed and spat her chewing gum at Madison Rayne and left. Madison Rayne told Karen Angle to keep her eye on Tara because she could even sleep with Jeff Jarrett. Last but not least Karen Angle called Velvet a slut and told her she would lay down for Kurt ( I know I would), Velvet got pissed and was about to slap Karen when Jarrett blocked her but she slapped him and attacked Karen Angle until Angelina Love came out with Winter and attacked her.
Angelina Love (w/ Winter) defeated Velvet Sky by chokeout: Angelina Love just destroyed her for five minutes and Winter gave her “break it” sign and she choked poor Velvet out.
Mr. Anderson arrived in a new car and said he wanted his title shot!
Matt Morgan was ranting backstage looking for Scott Steiner because he has waited too long for his first TNA title reign and no one will ruin it for him.
IN RING SEGMENT
Christy Hemme + Mexican America(Hernandez & Anarchia & Sarita & Rosita): Christy Hemme introduced Mexican America who made their way to the ring and the cameras showed Willy Urbina and Hector Guerrero who looked happy about this movement. The Mexican flag dropped and Anarchia said the Americans (Gringo’s) will respect the Mexican flag and they showed the Spanish commentators saluting the flag.
Anarchia ( w/Hernandez & Sarita & Rosita) defeated Chris Sabin: Sabin blew his knee early on and Anarchia rolled up a small package for the win. A post match beating was about to happen when the returning Alex Shelly ran down to save his partner.
Scott Steiner + Matt Morgan: Scott Steiner was playing golf inside his lockeroom, but missed the ball and threw the plastic club, he got pissed off and called Matt Morgan out and told the cameraman to find him. Matt Morgan was near and Steiner popped out of the curtain threw some confetti, Morgan went through the curtain Steiner attacked him from behind a brawl ensured. Steiner attacked him and talking trash until Morgan reversed it and beat him up, with Steiner trying to apologies. Morgan left Steiner laying backstage.
Sting was in the car park and destroyed Mr. Andersons windshield of his car and left his bat inside.
TNA TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
Gunner defeated Christopher Daniels to retain the TNA Television Title: Great match, Daniels went for a splash but hit the ring-post Gunner hit the F5 for the pin-fall.
Sting on his way to the ring.
IN RING SEGMENT
Sting + Mr. Anderson + Rob Van Dam + Hulk Hogan + Bully-Ray: Sting said he wanted to get rid off Hogan and Bischoff, but Mr. Anderson is always in his way derailing him and he should check his windshields as well, Mr Anderson came out. Mr. Anderson accused Sting of breaking the windows and Sting kept denying it, Anderson said what about the camera footage, Sting said no then asked one more time and Sting said yes it was him. Mr Anderson said he will get it replaced biatch! Mr. Anderson said lets finish this off tonight, until RVD came out and told Sting to shut up Mr. Anderson up, Sting said him versus Mr. Anderson tonight for the title. Hulk Hogan came out and booked a triple threat title match with Bully-Ray as the 3rd opponent who came out and signaled Sting’s belt.
Samoa Joe: Samoa Joe said Crimson was impressive and undefeated, but no one will make a impact like Joe did when he debuted in TNA and he will ruin this streak.
Samoe Joe & Crimson fought to a no contest: Abyss attacked Crimson outside and had a staredown with Samoa Joe who left him to it. Abyss beat Crimson and left him laying with the black-hole slam.
Mr. Anderson: Mr. Anderson is pissed because he wants a one on one match.
Mickie James was on her way to the ring.
Kurt Angle: Kurt Angle said Karen is making a complete ass of herself and you may just find his new “Miss Angle” next week, Karen prepare to shit her pants oh its real its damn real!
IN RING SEGMENT
Mickie James: Mickie looking stunning as usual is the first ever WWE Woman’s, WWE Divas and TNA Knockouts Champion. Mickie said when she started of in the business she wanted to go down as one of the best female wrestlers of all time. She is dedicating her title to the fans who made wrestlers and knockouts dreams come true, she loves us and thanks them.
Bully-Ray & Abyss: Bully-Ray was talking to Abyss and imaging himself being TNA World Champion and it would piss the wrestling fans off. He would trade his 23 tag team title reigns for one TNA World Heavyweight Championship also because he had to team with a slacker, all he has to do is beat a asshole and a man with paint on his face.
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE
“The Icon” Sting defeated Bully-Ray and Mr. Anderson to retain the TNA Heavyweight title: The referee was knocked out, Bully-Ray decided to use the pipe and hit Sting with it in the gut. Suddenly A.J Styles came out and hit Bully-Ray with a pele, then Sting used the pipe to smack Bully-Ray on the head and got the pin fall!
Bully-Ray: Bully-Ray said he should be TNA Champion, it wasn’t a four way and A.J. Styles had no business in the match whatsoever, he goes so what if he put him through the table, he got his revenge at Lockdown and now cost him the title. Bully-Ray said he warned A.J. Styles not to come next week because he has been with allot badass men then a kid like A.J. Styles. He is a warrior and warmed A.J. not to mess with this 300pound bear
A.J. Styles: A.J. Styles said he had to provide food for his family and no one could take him out
Scott Steiner: Scott Steiner said he took out Matt Morgan again tonight and warned him he is a dead SOB next week on iMPACT.
Jeff & Karen Jarrett: They were worried that there is a hit out on Karen and its none of the TNA hoes.
Velvet Sky: Velvet Sky said how Karen dare call her a hoe and she does not need a man. She said she needs time to re-gather her thoughts after what just happened.
Jeff & Karen Jarrett: They were still worried, Karen said she has no enemy’s and everyone is jealous of her. Jeff Jarrett said it was a bluff.