TNA iMPACT 2011 05 05

Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: May 5th, 2011 (Taped: May 2nd)
Commentators: Mike Tenay & Taz

DARK MATCH: Douglas Williams defeated “Sterling” James Keenan
 
EARLIER: Before the taping began, Jesse Neal came out with the whole TNA Roster and sang the national anthem In remembrance of all the victims who suffered at the hands of the now dead  Osama Bin Laden.
 
VIDEO PACKAGE: The problems “The Network” have been giving Hulk Hogan and Immortal regarding the TNA World Title situation. They also recapped how A.J. Styles cost Bully-Ray and Immortal the title last week.

IN RING SEGMENT
Immortal ( Hulk Hogan & Abyss & Matt Hardy & Gunner & Murphy & Rob Terry) + Sting & Rob Van Dam + Al Snow & Simon Diamond & D’Lo Brown + Fortune ( A.J. Styles & Robert Roode & James Storm & Christopher Daniels & Kazarian): Immortal were already in the ring, Sting and Rob Van Dam were making their way down when the TNA Agents came down to separate them from Immortal. Hulk Hogan said Immortal could fight all night long but it was Sting and Rob Van Dam bringing the agents out to separate them. Hulk Hogan told Sting Immortal will beat them if he knows about the mystery Network opponent. Sting said he knows a lot and said next week “he I mean She” will be revealed. Hulk Hogan got pissed and Immortal jumped the agents, then Sting and RVD came in and Fortune ran down as well to save the day. Robert Roode got on the mic and called Hogan a coward and told Hogan to look at him and called him a son of a bitch. Robert Roode said he wasn’t here to talk about the makings of TNA by him and Fortune, not even the arrival of Hogan, Bischoff and Flair cashing in on their blood, sweat and tears. Roode said he thought Hogan was the inspiration when he was younger but they are two separate people Robert has pride and Hulk doesn’t. He busts his ass to give his children food and clothes, he is a blue-collar worker just like most of America and they earn their keep and Hulk Hogan has earned nothing (Not in TNA he hasn’t). Robert Roode said Hulk Hogan has raped and ruined TNA in the past eighteen months (very true),he crushes dreams, ruins peoples, cruses fans hope’s and said Hulk Hogan FIRED JAY LETHAL, a close friend of his. He did everything he asked for then was fired. Robert Roode said he was Bobby Roode who will stand up to Hulk Hogan and next week everything is going to change! Awesome promo by Robert Roode. Amazing.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Jeff & Karen Jarrett + Velvet Sky: Jeff and Karen Angle asked Velvet to get changed (in towls) and meet them in the ring for a offer she can’t refuse. Velvet teased they had feces dumped on them.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Sangriento on his way to the ring

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW
Matt Hardy: Matt said he is Cold Blood Matt Hardy and one half of the greatest  tag teams in history, no secret there. He said Mr. Roode needs to be taught a lesson and he will do that by phoning someone to challenge Beer Money for the Tag Titles at Sacrifice.  

SINGLES MATCH
Sangriento (Amazing Red under a mask) defeated Suicide: Sangriento is Amazing Red under a mask and TNA are copying WWE’s Sin Cara for some reason.  Amazing Red won with a diamond cutter after jumping from the middle rope.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Hulk Hogan & Eric Bischoff: Hulk Hogan said it felt great punching D’Lo Brown and will do it to the whole roster to find out the mystery network person. Eric asked Hulk if it could be Ric Flair but Hulk said he has a pint his pictures are everywhere but he has been to war with this guy and he is much dirtier than that. Eric said Flair tried to pull his eye’s out a few years ago (WCW). But didn’t feel it could be him. Hulk Hogan didn’t want it to be Flair and they will analyse the whole roster until they find the rat.

IN RING SEGMENT
Mexican America (Hernandez & Anarchia & Sarita & Rosita)  + Hector Guerrero & Willie Urbina + Ink. Inc ( Jesse Neal & Shannon Moore): The ring was decorated with all this Mexican stuff as its cene de Mexico day. Hernandez told them to drop the Mexican flag and along came confetti with it. He told all the gringos to salute there new flag. Anarchia just shouted some random stuff about the flag, the Mexican army and what not. Sarita invited the Spanish announcers into the ring and they brought along with them tequila! The girls started to flirt with the announcers. Anarchia said they have Hector Guerrero the best Hispanic wrestling family ever and then said why is Willie Urbina in the ring he is a dirty Puerto Rican. Sarita low-blowed him and Anarchia said they were purely Mexican, Hernandez called Hector a sell out and prepared them for a American burial until Ink Inc came out and cleaned house. Jesse Neal told them never to disrespect the American flag, get a greencard and let the door hit them on the way out.

TAG TEAM MATCHImmortal ( Bully-Ray & Gunner) and Fortune ( A.J. Styles & Christopher Daniels) fought to a no contest: Bully-Ray was preparing to use the chain when Tommy Dreamer came out and gave A.J. Styles a pile-driver. 

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Tommy Dreamer: Tommy Dreamer is pissed off.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Fortune ( A.J. Styles & Christopher Daniels & Kazarian): A.J. Styles, Daniels and Kazarain were discussing just what happened. They think it might be because of EV2.0 and dreamer did it on purpose. They want answers or Dreamer is getting beaten down.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Matt Hardy & Bully-Ray: Matt Hardy was on the phone, Bully-Ray told him to say hi to the mystery caller. Bully-Ray said he is going to enjoy toying with Dreamer because he is stupid.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Jeff & Karen Jarrett were on their way to the ring.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Velvet Sky on her way to the ring

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Winter & Angelina Love: Winter was feeding Angelina Love pills and talking about how they are connected (Is she a lesbian?)

IN RING SEGMENT
Jeff & Karen Jarrett + Velvet Sky + Angelina Love & Winter + Kurt Angle: Karen Jarrett told Velvet to get her skanky wannabe knockouts champion ass out now. Karen told Velvet every Knockout has been champion except her and she has been laying over for a long time. Karen said she will stop Kurt and Velvet’s relationship tonight. Velvet Sky told her she wasn’t the mistress and used a sarcastic tone  to make out Karen was dumb. Velvet told Karen she doesn’t sleep with top people in the company pointing at Karen and she will become Knockouts Champion. Karen said there is a 2 on 1 handicap match tonight with Velvet Sky to face Winter and Angelina Love. Suddenly Winter and a dazed Angelina Love came out and prepared a  assault until Kurt Angle came out. He promised the network nothing will happen until the main-event when it will be a 2 on 3 handicap match tonight! Velvet said after she deals with Morticia and her zombie freak, Karen Jarrett is next bitch!

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Eric Bischoff + Rob Terry & Murphy: Eric Bischoff is pissed Kurt Angle can make decisions, Murphy and Rob Terry asked if they should take care of him, in fact Bischoff booked a match between the two with the loser out of Immortal.

 BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Crimson looking for Samoa Joe with a sledge-hammer.

LOSER IS OUT OF IMMORTAL MATCH
“The Freak” Rob Terry defeated Murphy: Murphy will not be in Immortal no more.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Hulk Hogan & Eric Bischoff: Hulk Hogan said he can’t believe they are facing each other for a spot in Immortal. They were still discussing who it could be; even the referee’s names got a mention.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Mickie James defends her title tonight

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Crimson & Samoa Joe: Crimson warned Samoa Joe to stay out of his way. TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP
Mickie James defeated Miss Teesmocker to retain the title: They should of hyped this and kept for a PPV. Miss Teesmocker made a erotic entrance revealing a sweet ass, attire and rack. Mickie hit the jumping DDT for the win.

POST MATCH SEGMENT
Mickie James + Madison Rayne & Tara: Madison Rayne came out and said she will keep this nice and simple, mocking Mickie. She said she was the longest reigning title ever and wanted a rematch at Sacrifice. Mickie James accepted but said she had to put her hair on the line at Lockdown, what will Madison do? Madison said anything and Mickie James said Madison Rayne will be sacrificing Tara’s contract with her. Madison RAYNE screamed at Tara if that’s what she wanted and left, Tara mouthed “thank you” to Mickie James.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Brian Kendrick along with Generation Me and Amazing Red are pissed off and wanted answers.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Eric Bischoff + Brian Kendrick & Amazing Red & Generation Me ( Max & Jeremy Buck): Brian Kendrick wanted to know why they are not been giving a chance and wanted to know why Lethal got fired. Bischoff got pissed and threw coffee over Kendrick and told them to get the hell out or he will fire them. They walked away angrily.

COMMENTATORS BOOTH
Mike Tenay & Taz previewed next week’s iMPACT and the Sacrifice Main-Event.

PRE TAPED INTERVIEW
Rob Van Dam: He is ready to win the belt and in better shape than before ever.
Sting: Gave him the rematch because he never lost the belt and was screwed by Immortal.

THREE ON TWO INTER-GENDER HANDICAP TAG TEAM MATCH
Kurt Angle & Velvet Sky defeated Jeff Jarrett (w/ Karen Angle) & Winter & Angelina Love: Velvet pinned winter after a double DDT to both Love and Winter at the same time. Kurt Angle told Velvet to fulfill her dream to become Knockouts champion and the chosen one wasn’t Velvet Sky and she will kick Karen ass and it will be revealed next week, oh its real its damn real…bitch!

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Eric Bischoff & Hulk Hogan + Brian Kendrick & Amazing Red & Generation Me ( Max & Jeremy Buck): Eric Bischoff & Hulk Hogan discussed who “The Network” representative could be naming Ric Flair or even Vince Russo! Hogan went up to the car and it said “your next”, Hogan said Goldberg is coming and they drove away. It was the X-Division guys who warned them ,they giggled and laughed with Kendrick smoking some pot.