TNA IMPACT Wrestling
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: December 5, 2013
Commentators: Mike Tenay and Taz
After a creepy, sci-fi-esque opening video about how AJ Styles’ absence from TNA led to the creation of the tournament and one man’s chance to become the new TNA World Champion, we head to the ring as Kurt Angle comes out and tells everyone how thankful he is for TNA and the support of the fans. The World Title tournament is his path to prove he’s still the greatest in the world, and Austin Aries gave him one hell of a fight in the first round, but now he’s up against someone much closer to home. Angle calls Magnus out to the ring, and Magnus enters as we see a video of last week when Magnus’ knee injury forced him out of the eight man elimination match. Angle wants to know what happened last week when Magnus left him high and dry against four wrestlers, but Magnus says he has more respect for Angle than anyone else in the business. He got the crap kicked out of him in a Falls Count Anywhere match against Samoa Joe, but still decided to fight by Angle’s side. He hurt his knee and it went out, and there’s nothing he could do about that, and he had to make a decision in the heat of the moment. Angle says that champions fight hurt, and it’s no secret that he fights all the way to the end, so his question to Magnus is whether he has the heart of a champion. Magnus says he’ll make it crystal clear to Angle that he has heart and hunger to be the best, go through Angle and whoever else he has to in order to become the TNA World Champion for the very first time, and he’ll prove it tonight. Angle says everyone knows they’re friends, but Magnus is in the way of his destiny, and so are Roode and Hardy, and if Magnus wants to be the World Champion, he has to go through Angle.
Bobby Roode’s music hits and he comes out to the top of the ramp and says he understands the hunger and heart it takes to be a World Champion. He had the heart and hunger to be a champion when he faced Angle at Bound For Glory 2011, but he didn’t get the job done because you need a killer instinct to become a World Champion: the same instinct that Bobby Roode possesses, the instinct he needed to smash a beer bottle over his best friend’s head to become champion, and speaking of James Storm, we all saw what he did to him in the first round of the tournament. He’s facing Jeff Hardy in a tables match later tonight, and after seeing what he did to Storm, imagine what he’s going to do to Hardy. Angle knows what he’s capable of, and as far as he’s concerned, Magnus will never, EVER be a World Champion.
Now Jeff Hardy comes out and, yep, he has a mic too. He drags a table behind him down the ramp and tells Roode that to get to the title, he has to go through him in a Tables Match, but all he has to do is put Roode through a table. That sounds like the same thing to me, but we go to commercial before I get a chance to ponder further on that.
World Title Tournament Quarterfinals/Tables Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode
They go at it right from the bell and Roode beats Hardy down, but Hardy comes back with a flying clothesline and the double legdrop to the ding ding. Hardy leapfrogs Roode and dropkicks him in the back, then goes out to the floor, wastes time high fiving fans instead of trying to win, and folds up a table, taking long enough that I’m starting to suspect he took so long so Roode can recover and baseball slide the table in his face. Hardy puts the table on the apron and Roode baseball slides it in his face, then rams Hardy’s face into the apron and rolls him into the ring. Roode brings a table in, smartly stomps on Hardy’s chest to slow him down, and then places the table upright in the corner. Now he’s wasting time by staring at all the fans chanting for Hardy, but comes out on top of a fast exchange and turns Hardy inside out with a clothesline. Hardy goes for the Whisper in the Wind, but Roode moves out of the way and Hardy comes inches away from hitting the table on the way down. The fans are chanting for Hardy as Roode picks him up in a fireman’s carry, but Hardy wiggles free and lands on the apron. Roode goes out after him and they battle back and forth on the ring apron, precariously balanced above a table that they both end up going through simultaneously after losing their balance. The referee looks stunned, and we’ll find out his decision after this commercial break!
We’re back and the match is continuing, as Senior Referee Earl Hebner came out and consulted with the referees and determined that the match should continue until we have a winner. Roode snaps Hardy down with a spinebuster, then stands a table up in the corner and picks Hardy up in another fireman’s carry. Hardy slips out and hits the Twist of Fate, and Roode stumbles backward onto the table, so Hardy quickly goes to the top for the Swanton. Roode rolls off the table and onto the mat, but Hardy Swantons him anyway. Hardy puts Roode on top of the corner and drags the table over to him, then goes up and tries to superplex Roode. Roode holds on and picks Hardy up for a vertical suplex, but drops him on his ding ding on the top rope. That looked like it hurt. Roode goes out to the apron, stands in front of a table, and tries to suplex Hardy onto it. Hardy blocks and dropkicks Roode off the apron and through the table to advance.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
This was an excellent match! Jeff Hardy is in the finals, and will now face the winner of the Angle-Magnus match later on tonight.
Time for Impact365, as Ethan Carter III gets his makeup applied and says he’s challenging a TNA legend this week.
Also on Impact365, Aunt Dee is in her office and got a letter saying that she’s finally getting her belt back. She gave AJ one week to give it back, and she’s sorry they had to get lawyers involved, but she’s down to her final four and one of those men will need that beautiful belt of hers to put around his waist. She thanks AJ for finally playing ball with er and says she’ll see him this Thursday!
Ethan Carter III comes out, says he’s faced a litany of competition since his arrival, including legends and international superstars, but there is one man who has been in the ring with the likes of Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan (HEY DON’T SAY HIS NAME!!!), Bret Hart…basically, all the guys who were stars for WWE. So tonight, his handpicked opponent is…Earl Hebner! Earl looks at Carter like he has six heads and snatches the microphone out of his hands. He says he’s not a wrestler, he’s a referee, and this is not happening tonight. Carter says he’s right, he’s a referee, a subordinate, and he represents the 99%, but Ethan is in the 1% and is the nephew of the owner of this company. Hebner also doesn’t have to worry because he has a specially picked referee, and Rockstar Spud brings Earl’s son Brian out to officiate. Carter tells Earl that he’s going to lie down, he’s going to cover him, and this mediocre son who followed in his footsteps is going to count to 3. The Hebners are obviously unhappy about this, but Carter tells Earl to lie down. The fans chant no, so Carter tells him again to lie down and gives him an angry face. Earl starts to lie down, but gets back up, so Carter orders him to lie down and says that if he doesn’t get on the ground of his own free will, he’ll put him in the ground forever. Earl finally lies down, so Carter tells Brian that unless the Hebners want a very light Christmas, to ring the bell right now.
Ethan Carter III vs. Earl Hebner
Carter kneels down and puts his finger on Earl’s chest and tells Brian to count. Brian doesn’t want to do it, so Carter yells at him again to count, and Brian tells his dad that he’s sorry before counting to three.
Winner: Ethan Carter III
Carter tells Brian to roll his dad out of the ring, and poor Brian is forced to comply, then Carter orders Brian to raise his hand, which Brian reluctantly does. Great segment that really got Carter over as a jerk.
We go to a video package looking at the history of Bad Influence, Eric Young, Joseph Park, and Abyss, then its back to Impact365 where Daniels and Kazarian say they got some great pictures on their last road trip, and wait till the fans see what they brought back. Will we find out the truth about Joseph Park tonight?
Earlier this week, Sam Shaw took Christy Hemme out to a fancy dinner, but when she went to the bathroom, he grabbed the waiter and yanked him right up in his face and said he saw the way he was looking at his girl, and if he does it again, he’s going to rip his eyes out. He lets the poor waiter go, then turns sane again as Christy gets back from taking a leak and whisks her out of the restaurant.
We look at another video package of Dixie Carter losing her mind as AJ Styles is traveling the world defending his version of the TNA World Title. Dixie Carter is backstage and gets pissed off when someone delivers flowers and tells them to get lost and not come back without her belt.
Sting is backstage, and he’s…WALKING! We’ll find out what he wants later tonight!
Dixie Carter is backstage with several members of the TNA roster, and she’s sorry she couldn’t put them all in the World Title Tournament, but it is the holiday season and she has something else in mind…FEAST OR FIRED! NOOO, NOT THIS STUPID GIMMICK AGAIN! Argh…the dumbest match ever returns next week.
Bad Influence comes out to the ring and Daniels says they got a lot of heat for what they did to Joseph Park, and the fans really have their ovaries in a twist, but they know the truth about Joseph Park and they’re ready to share it right now. Joseph Park comes out, waving at the crowd on his way down, and tells Daniels and Kazarian that they need to stop. The crowd chants for Joseph, and he thanks them, but tells Daniels and Kazarian that they’ve won. They accomplished what they wanted to, and they were right: maybe Joseph Park never should have been in Impact Wrestling, and he really is just an attorney. Kazarian says it’s funny that he brings up the attorney part because they have some information in this here envelope. Park tears the envelope apart, but Kazarian says it doesn’t matter because he gave a copy of the contents of the envelope to the guys in the truck, and those contents are going up on the screen right now…COURTESY OF IMPACT365!
Daniels and Kazarian are at the offices of Park, Park & Park, and they wanted to check in and see if he’s washed the blood out of his hair since he hasn’t seen them since they did what they did to him. They have the receptionist show him into Park’s office, which is completely empty without even a law degree on the wall. He asks the receptionist why the office is empty, and she says it’s because Dr. Cruskel moved out about a month ago. Daniels asks what happened to Park, Park & Park, and she looks them up and sees they used to be here, but they moved out like thirteen years ago. Turns out that Park, Park & Park closed down thirteen years ago, so they ask Park what he’s been doing for thirteen years? Pro bono work for the homeless? Park stops to think about it, and asks Daniels and Kazarian…as human beings…to please leave him alone. Daniels blocks him from leaving as Kazarian says they won’t let it go, because they’ve called him a lot of things, but now (he spits in Park’s face) they can also call him a liar. Daniels kicks Park in the ding ding and they put the boots to him, but Eric Young runs out to make the save and Bad Influence bails out. EY says we’re all tired of the bullying, but he has a bit of advice: if they keep knocking on the devil’s door, eventually, the devil is going to answer. Young challenges them to a tag match next week: Eric Young & Joseph Park against Bad Influence. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m actually looking forward to that!
Sting is backstage with Magnus and says he’s got another big one in front of him tonight, and he’s come a long way. Magnus says the Main Event Mafia is on the shelf, but he still appreciates everything Sting did for him. Sting brings up the entitlement thing, and Magnus says it’s just people talking and asks if he should think about it, and Sting says not to worry about it, and to go out there and tear it up.
Rockstar Spud is backstage and finds out the delivery man is here, and he sends his flunky to go meet him.
TNA World Tag Team Champions The Bromans vs. James Storm and Gunner
I don’t believe the title is on the line here, but you can bet I’ll delete all this if it turns out I’m wrong! Storm and Gunner manhandle Jessie as Tenay confirms that this is indeed non-title, then Robbie tags in and gets his ass handed to him as well. It’s got to be really distracting for Zema Ion to keep doing that stupid horn while they’re trying to wrestle, but it doesn’t slow Gunner down a bit as he continues tearing Jessie apart with chops and forearms. Robbie finally nails Gunner from behind and allows Jessie to take control with a dropkick before covering for 2. Jessie beats Gunner down in the corner, but Gunner comes back with a fallaway slam and makes the tag to Storm, who comes in and cleans house on Jessie with a series of clotheslines and forearms. Storm hits a running neckbreaker and then dumps Robbie out to the floor when he tries to sneak in. Storm hits Closing Time, hits the Last Call, and makes a cover, but the referee gets distracted by a skirmish that breaks out when Robbie spits Storm’s beer in Gunner’s face. Gunner takes Robbie down and hammers him with right hands, then shoves the referee across the ring when he tries to separate them.
Winners: The Bromans by DQ
Rockstar Spud blocks Sting from getting into Kurt Angle’s dressing room and asks him who he is and what his relationship with Angle is and what he wants to talk to him about. Sting introduces himself and says Spud probably heard his records, and Spud finally recognizes him as the guy who blew his chance to get into the tournament. Spud says that Dixie Carter would like to kindly ask him to leave, and Sting says that if she wants him to leave, she can kindly come ask him herself. Spud hears in his earpiece that the delivery guy is here and goes to meet him, and Sting yells “WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND HERE??” and then leaves without going in to see Kurt, which was the whole reason he showed up to begin with.
Back to MORE Impact365 as Gail Kim is making out with her husband, who looks like 35 years older than her. Gail has been dominating everyone she’s stepped in the ring with, and her husband says that when they find someone who has a chance of beating his wife, to bring them, otherwise stop wasting their time.
Time for MORE from Impact365, as Chris Sabin is sitting in a chair saying that he hit rock bottom after losing to Jeff Hardy in the opening round of the tournament, but YOU (ostensibly referring to Velvet Sky, who is doing her hair in the mirror he has the camera pointed at) helped him find his way. Velvet bounces and gets all “oh SWEETY!” on him, but he picks up his X Division Title belt that he apparently was really talking to.
TNA Knockouts Champion Gail Kim vs. Laura Dennis in a non-title match
Gail starts beating the crap out of Dennis as soon as she gets in the ring, unloading with kicks and forearms and gets a hangman’s neckbreaker for 2. Gail hits a leaping clothesline in the corner and then pie faces Dennis before unloading with more forearms. Gail points at the audience and tells Dennis to tell them who’s the best and then smacks her in the face, but that fires Dennis up and she starts going to town on Gail, unloading with several shots and getting a 2 count before charging her in the corner…and running right into Gail’s boot. Gail quickly hits Eat DaFeet and covers for 3.
Winner: Gail Kim
Tapa picks Dennis up so Gail can hit Eat DaFeet again, then she gets right in Dennis’ face and gives her the business before Tapa picks Dennis back up and sets up for her finish, but ODB runs out and actually cleans house, laying Gail out before clotheslining Tapa out to the floor. Tapa gets ODB by the neck, but Gail backs her off and they head up the ramp as ODB breaks out the flask.
Kurt Angle and Brutus Magnus are backstage, and they’re…WALKING! They’ll face off in the second semifinal match…NEXT!
Dixie is backstage and is thrilled at Spud’s news that the package is here, and tells him to bring it to her right now.
IT’S MAIN EVENT TIME!
TNA World Title Tournament Semifinals/Last Man Standing: Brutus Magnus vs. Kurt Angle
They do a feeling out process to start with neither man getting a clear advantage until Magnus takes Angle down to the mat with a cross armbreaker. Angle tries to reverse to the anklelock, but Magnus slips away and backs to the corner. They come back out to the center and Magnus locks Angle down with a side headlock, holding onto it even when Angle tries to get out with a suplex. Angle finally gets free and pops Magnus up with an overhead release suplex and backs off so the referee can count. Magnus obviously gets up well before 10, and he quickly turns the tables by hitting Angle with the Marufuji clothesline. Magnus escapes a Hacker Slam attempt and they wipe each other out with a double clothesline. The referee counts, but both make it up before 10 and now Magnus drops Angle with a clothesline while staying on his own feet this time. Angle gets up a little more slowly than last time, so Magnus unloads with right hands and winds up trading blows with Angle as we go to commercial.
Before we get back to the match, we go backstage to Dixie Carter as she receives the package from Rockstar Spud. She says this should be a lesson that when something isn’t going your way, you just put your foot down and get what you want.
We go back to the ring as Magnus plants Angle with a Snowplow, but Angle is up quickly and pops Magnus over with rolling German suplexes. Magnus makes it up at 7, so Angle spears Magnus and both men go tumbling out to the floor and the count starts again. Magnus gets up to the apron and Angle tries to German suplex him off, but Magnus throws elbows into Angle’s face until he falls off and seems to knock his head on the foot of the guardrail on his way down. Magnus sees an opportunity and drills Angle with a Cactus elbow off the apron, then rolls him inside and goes for his usual top rope elbow drop. Angle pops up and overhead superplexes Magnus, who looks down and out as the referee starts counting, but Magnus barely makes it up at 10. Angle snap suplexes Magnus and goes up for the moonsault that he hits once every seven years, and he misses it when Magnus rolls out of the way. Magnus catches Angle with the Boss Man Slam, then goes up top and hits the flying elbow and backs off so the referee can count. Angle doesn’t move until 8, but somehow pulls himself up just before 10 and charges at Magnus, who sidesteps Angle and sends him careening into the referee. Brian Hebner is down and out as Angle hits the Hacker Slam, but Bobby Roode runs in and nails Angle with a Northern lariat, then suplexes Angle on his head and bails out as the referee comes to. He starts counting and Magnus just barely makes it to his feet before 10 to win the match.
Winner: Brutus Magnus
Magnus collapses again as soon as the bell rings and is suspiciously unable to help his buddy Kurt as Roode runs in and starts unloading on him with right hands. Jeff Hardy runs in and chases Roode off, then goes face to face with Magnus. They have a stare down before shaking hands as they will now face off in the finals of the tournament in two weeks.
We go backstage to Dixie Carter and Rockstar Spud, and Dixie is glowing as she tells Spud that she’s going to teach him so much about this business, and then shoves him out of the way to open up the box herself. She stops and just stares as she takes out a replica toy belt, and throws a fit over AJ making a fool of her again.