WWE RAW 2009 07 13

July 13, 2009 – Orlando, Florida
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler

DARK MATCH: Sheamus O’Shaunessy defeated Drew McIntyre..

IN THE RING
Triple H “guest host” Seth Green + WWE champion Randy Orton: Triple H said a month ago Donald Trump bought Monday Night RAW, but seven days later Vince McMahon bought it back for double the price. Triple H talked about the celebrity guest host every week, and introduced Hollywood actor Seth Green. Actually Triple H introduced him as “my friend” Seth Green. Yeah, right! Seth Green is a huge WWE fan and has been seen on TV and Video Tape when he was a kid. Green enjoyed his entrance “welcome to the jungle” and bounced around the ring. Green said he was thrilled to be hosting WWE RAW! Green quickly booked a six diva summer swimsuit spectacular (in the spirit of athletic competition). Triple H said he liked the outside-the-box thinking on Robot Chicken. Triple H plugged the season premiere of of Robot Chicken, and showed a clip which featured the Triple H getting beaten up by Dakota Fanning in one of the sketches. Green said HHH has experience with getting beaten by whiney little girls like Randy Orton. HHH said Randy Orton and Dakota Fanning have something in common – neither one of them have male genitalia.. WWE champion Randy Orton came out and said he has something that HHH doesn’t – and that’s the WWE championship. Orton scolded Seth Green for taking shots at him, and reminded him that he has an anger issue. HHH suggested that Green book HHH vs. Orton in the main event. HHH threatened to drop Orton right now. Orton said he had nothing to say to HHH or Seth Green and began to back off. Orton asked why Seth Green is even there on RAW, and said someone might mistake him for a real man. Green announced his main event of Randy Orton and the Legacy vs. Triple H & John Cena & himself! Orton left the ring with a grin on his face, and HHH looked concerned about Greens decision to get in the ring tonight!

SIX DIVA SUMMER SWIMSUIT SPECTACULAR
Maryse Ouellet & Rosa Mendes & Alicia Fox defeated Mickie James & Gail Kim & Kelly Kelly: They joked that this was in the spirit of athletic competition, but it ended up being legitimately agressive. Maryse pinned Mickie after jamming her head first into the corner post..

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Seth Green & Chris Jericho: Chris Jericho said that Seth Green is making a mochary of the WWE by coming here tonight. Jericho said Green should be catering to him – the WWE’s top star. They plugged some Robot Chicken stuff, and Green said if Jericho is going to be negative then maybe he should leave the building. Jericho said he had something to say tonight and told Green to stay out of his business!

IN THE RING
Primo Colon + Mike “The Miz” Mizanin: Primo Colon came out and called out his brother Carlito, but he got the Miz instead. The Miz said Carlito must have had something more important to do.. The Miz said Carlito is OUT and the Miz is IN!

SINGLES MATCH
Mike “The Miz” Mizanin defeated Primo Colon: Midway through the match, Carlito showed up and distracted Primo – allowing the Miz to score the victory! The Miz celebrated and left the ring. Carlito got in the ring and took a bite from his apple and spit it in his little brothers face!

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Seth Green & Hornswoggle + The Big Show: Seth Green put Hornswoggle in a rematch with Chavo Guerrero with Chavo’s arm tied behind his back.. Hornswoggle seemed to like that idea and ran off! The Big Show came in and put his hand on Seth Green’s shoulder. Green asked if Big Show had any advice for him. Big Show told him to watch his match tonight and see what happens to wrestlers who are Green’s size. Big Show said if Green wants advice it will cost him.. ONE MILLION DOLLARS! (doing the Austin Powers joke).

SINGLES MATCH
Jack Swagger defeated Montel Vontavious Porter:

RINGSIDE ANNOUNCEMENT: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler talked about Edge’s injury (torn achilles) and showed graphic photos of the surgery at the hands of Dr. James Andrews. They said that Edge could be out of action for up to a year and could be a career ending injury..

IN THE RING
Chris Jericho + Mark Henry: Chris Jericho said for the first time in WWE history that the Unified Tag Team titles are held by one man. Jericho said he should have known better than to select a frail and unreliable tag team partner like Edge. Jericho said Edge was the weak link of the team and he (Jericho) should not be punished. Jericho said he cannot defend the titles against Legacy by himself at Night of Champions. Jericho said the hipocrites (fans) think that he should be stripped of the championships. Jericho said he was too smart for that, and brought out a contract that says if Edge was injured that he would legally be allowed to choose a partner and remain champion. Jericho said he knew Edge was unreliable. Jericho said he would choose a partner at Night of Champions and just like him he will be a truthful, honest, and just man. Mark Henry came out smiling and stood in front of Jericho, who said Henry was exactly the type of partner he had in mind. Henry put his arm around Jericho and said they could do unbelievable things! Henry said he didn’t come out there to be Jericho’s partner. Suddenly the smile left Henry’s face and he said, “I came out here to be your opponent!” Henry clotheslined Jericho and ripped the expensive suit off of his body! Henry stomped Jericho and head-butted him! A referee showed up and a match got started..

SINGLES MATCH
“World’s Strongest Man” Mark Henry defeated Chris Jericho by Countout: Chris Jericho circled the ring, not wanting to get into the ring with the World’s Strongest Man. Viewers were told that the match was booked by Seth Green. Jericho finally got in the ring and took a beating before bailing out of the ring and getting himself intentionally counted out..

SINGLES REMATCH
Hornswoggle defeated Chavo Guerrero with a small package: Chavo Guerrero was ordered by Seth Green to compete with one arm tied behind his back!

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Randy Orton & Ted DiBiase Jr. + Cody Rhodes: Randy Orton praised Ted DiBiase Jr. for slapping his father in the face last week. Ted Jr. said his dad never wanted him to be in Legacy, but wanted him to be a carbon copy of him. Cody Rhodes came in and he heard his father, Dusty Rhodes, was going to be the guest host next week. Orton told Rhodes & DiBiase not to touch Seth Green tonight with orders of “save him for me.”

SINGLES MATCH
The Big Show defeated Evan Bourne by submission: WWE United States champion Kofi Kingston joined Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler on commentary for the match.. Seth Green was shown watching backstage and started to realize it may not be a good idea to get in the ring tonight. The Big Show destroyed Evan Bourne with a crazy-stiff Spear and made him submit to the Collosal Clutch! Big Show refused to break the hold until Kofi Kingston jumped in and knocked Big Show out of the ring! Kofi Kingston vs. The Big Show on WWE Superstars this week..

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT
Seth Green & Santino Marella + Triple H & John Cena: Santino was shown playing with himself backstage (making his action figure make out with a Diva action figure). Seth Green was sitting there watching and getting creeped out by what he was seeing. Triple H & John Cena showed up and Santino took off with his action figures. Seth Green said he was in over his head and admitted that it might have been a big mistake. Cena gave him a pep talk and HHH encouraged him to stay close to him. Cena told Green to follow him and he’ll take care of him. HHH and Cena started bickering over who would watch Green’s back – and then they both walked off..

MAIN EVENT
John Cena & Triple H & Seth Green defeated Legacy (Randy Orton & Ted DiBiase Jr. & Cody Rhodes): Midway through the match, Seth Green tagged in and punched Cody Rhodes in the face! Green then ran away and escaped the wrath of Rhodes. Near the end of the match, Randy Orton went to pin Triple H after an RKO but Seth Green jumped in to break it up! Orton went after Green and threatened to kick him in the head, but Cena got up and tackled Orton! There was some instant chaos and the match was thrown out. HHH brought the sledgehammer into the ring and had a tense altercation after he nearly hit Cena with the weapon. The crowd started chanting “Seth! Seth! Seth!” and HHH & Cena raised his arms to celebrate!