WWE Monday Night RAW
March 29, 2010 – Las Vegas, Nevada
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
IN THE RING
Batista + WWE champion John Cena + Jack Swagger: Batista said he knows all of those people expect him to come out and throw a fit about losing at WM, but he’s not going to give them the satisfaction. Batista said last night was a fluke! Batista said no one will remember WM in a month (Editor’s note: When was WrestleMania?). Batista said he’s entitled to a rematch, and he doesn’t care what happened last night, John Cena did not beat him! John Cena came out. Cena said there was still a lot of WM energy left in that building. Cena said going into WM was a guy in a leather vest who said John Cena couldn’t beat Batista, but he obviously missed WM because John Cena did beat Batista. Cena said if Batista really was the face of the company then last night the face of the company looked like crap right before Cena made him tap out. Cena said nobodies going to forget WM, and that the moments last forever. Cena said tonight Batista can make history, tonight Shawn Michaels will write the final chapter in his storybook career. Cena said as Shawn’s career ends, Batista can write a chapter in the dynasty of Batista by winning the WWE championship in a rematch on the most historic episode of RAW. Cena said this is usually the point where the other guy says not tonight. Cena asked Batista to do something different for once, and to give the fans what they want for once! Batista asked if the fans wanted to see that. Batista said not tonight and they began brawling! Batista left the ring fast, leaving Cena in there looking pumped up. Suddenly Jack Swagger ran up behind Cena and began smashing him with the MIIB briefcase! Swagger grabbed the mic and asked for the ref because he was cashing in his contract! Cena basically no sold the attack and got up fast, locking in the STF, so Swagger got out of there and waved off the match.
LEGENDS LUMBERJACK MATCH
Christian defeated Ted DiBiase Jr.: A bunch of legends including Ted DiBiase, IRS, Arn Anderson, Roddy Piper, Nick Bockwinkel, Pat Patterson, Sergeant Slaughter, Tony Garea, Ricky Steamboat, and Jerry “The King” Lawler joined in! Rob Corddry and Clark Duke from the movie Hot Tub Time Machine came out. They did an absolute horrible job. Clark said tonight’s main event is Batista & Swagger vs. Cena & Mystery partner. Rob said tonight there would be a special hot tub match, him and Clark vs. the WWE Diva’s and everyone is invited. Rob said he was just kidding they aren’t invited. Clark said the reason all those legends were out there was to have a legends lumberjack match since they were all big in the 80s and their crappy movie takes place in the 80s. Back from commercial the match had started with Christian in control. Ted reversed a backdrop into a kick, so Christian threw Ted out of the ring. The legends threw him right back in. They fought back and forth another minute or so before Ted countered a tornado DDT. A moment later Christian reversed a punch into an inverted DDT and followed up with a missile drop kick. Christian tried for killswitch but they both wound up falling out of the ring. Ted DiBiase Sr. pushed everyone away and they began fighting while Christian hit killswitch in the ring for the 3. Christian celebrated with the face legends after the match. Ted began arguing with his father in the ring and stormed away.
Rob Corddroy & Clark Duke + Santino Marella + Tiffany & Rosa Mendes & The Bella Twins (Nikki & Brie) : Rob & Clark were wearing bath robes talking about how awesome it was going to be. They said they took care of Craig Robinson, but what about John Cusack? Santino showed up dressed like John Cusack in a movie I can’t remember the name of holding a radio over his head and said he would take care of Cusack. Rob and Clark got in the hot tub with the Bella twins, Rosa Mendes, and Tiffany. They said whoever stayed in the hot tub the longest wins whatever they want. Rob & Clark got in and dimmed the lights and brought out champagne.
Triple H + Sheamus: Hunter said it was a surreal night, the end of an era. Hunter said he never thought it would end this way for Shawn. Hunter said he knew Shawn could beat Undertaker, he didn’t think this would happen. Hunter said it seems like just yesterday he’s walking in the door of the WWE and he’s looking at Shawn Michaels with his ridiculous clothing and hair, but they took on the world. Hunter said a lot of times all they had was each other, but they took on the world and fought everybody. Hunter said they have always fought with each other and against each other. Hunter said it used to be the Kliq, but when that ended it was him and Shawn. Hunter said if this is it, then he just wanted to come out there before everything else started tonight and his final goodbye happens. Hunter said there was something he’s always wanted to say to Shawn but never said it, but now he was going to. Sheamus ran up behind Hunter and hit him with a pipe!
10 DIVA TAG TEAM MATCH
Eve Torres & Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim & Mickie James & Beth Phoenix defeated Vickie Guerrero & Maryse Ouellet & Alicia Fox & Michelle McCool & Layla El: Eve rolled up Maryse and the match was over in about 4 seconds. After the match the Face Divas knocked the heel divas out of the ring and celebrated.
IN THE RING
Bret “The Hitman” Hart + Unified Tag Team champions ShowMiz (Mike “The Miz” Mizanin & The Big Show): Bret said he wanted to take this opportunity to congratulate Shawn on his storybook career. Bret said nobody knows better than he does that Shawn is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, and he wants to wish Shawn the best in his future. Bret said when he came back to the WWE it was Shawn who said good things would happen, and he was right. Bret said he finally found the closure he was looking for, and it was a great feeling to beat up Vince. Bret said the entire Hart family beat Vince. Bret said upstairs in heaven he can feel his passed on family members sending high fives because it’s a great time for the Hart family. The fans chanted “Owen” and Bret revealed a shirt of him and Owen that he was wearing. Bret said he never thought he would leave the WWE with a bad taste in his mouth, and the only taste he has in his mouth now is joy and satisfaction. Bret said he wanted to thank all the fans, and the last 3 months has been a great ride. ShowMiz came out. Miz said Bret comes back and beats Vince in a glorified 25 on 1 handicap match and is actually proud of that? Miz said Bret is a thief, him coming back and giving his closure has robbed Miz of his time. Miz said for months he has had to hear about Bret and Vince screwing each other, and he’s sick of it. Miz said he’s the most glorified champion in the WWE and that if anyone should get to talk about themselves it’s Miz. Miz said last night in his very first WM match, he won, which means he is 17 wins away from tying Taker. Bret laughed. Miz said not to laugh because he was awesome, but Bret was another word, overrated! Miz said Bret’s entire family is overrated. Miz said Bret is the most overrated there is, was, and ever will be. Miz told Bret to get out of his ring before his fist gives Bret’s face closure. Bret said if Miz wants him to leave, to make him! Big Show pulled Miz back and walked up to Bret. The Hart Dynasty came out! They had pink and white on as opposed to black and pink, probably meaning a face turn. ShowMiz started to leave. Bret told them to take on Hart Dynasty so they can embarrass ShowMiz like they embarrassed Vince. Miz and Show began arguing but finally decided to wrestle them.
NON (UNIFIED TAG TEAM) TITLE MATCH
The Hart Dynasty (David Hart Smith & Tyson Kidd w/Natalya Niedhart & Bret Hart) defeated Unified Tag Team champions ShowMiz (Mike “The Miz” Mizanin & The Big Show) by countout : Back from commercial the match had started and David had Miz in a standing vertical suplex. David clotheslined Miz out of the ring and flung Tyson onto Miz! Miz tagged Show in who easily threw Tyson around. Miz tagged back in and quickly tagged Show back in as soon as Tyson took control. Show locked in a sleeper and Miz tagged himself back in. Tyson got the hot tag to David who easily took down Miz with clotheslines and a powerslam. They hit the Hart attack and Tyson locked in the sharpshooter. Show pulled Miz out of the ring and they left.
Rob Corddroy & Clark Duke & The Bella Twins (Nikki & Brie) & Tiffany & Rosa Mendes + Craig Robinson + Mark Henry + Hornswoggle: Rob said this was an intense match and the Divas looked bored. Rob suggested the started gyrating which freaked Tiffany and Rosa out of the hot tub. Craig appeared on the video screen and said someone switched his tickets. Craig said he was still a guest host and told the Bella’s they could get out of the hot tub. Craig said it was time for them to get a new opponent, Mark Henry! Mark got in the hot tub in nothing but a red speedo and I died a little inside. Rob said something bit him and Hornswoggle came out from the hot tub.
TAG TEAM MATCH
John Cena & Randy Orton defeated Jack Swagger & Batista: Swagger said before the match that it smelled like money in the bank. Swagger said he told everyone he was going to win MIIB and that when he wants something; he is the odds on favorite to get it. Swagger said earlier tonight he was just messing with Cena. Swagger said when he really cashes it in, he is the odds on favorite to walk away with the WWE championship. Randy Orton turned out to be the mystery partner! Batista and Cena started off but Batista tagged in Swagger immediately. Cena hit a vertical suplex and tagged in Orton, who began stomping on Swagger. Orton got ready for the RKO but Swagger slid out of the ring. Back from commercial Swagger had a reverse bear hug of sorts on Cena. Swagger hit a belly to back suplex for 2, followed by the running middle rope splash. Batista tagged in and began beating on the downed Cena. Cena tried to hulk up but ran into a spine buster. Batista got ready for the Batista bomb but Cena reversed it into a backdrop and got the hot tag to Orton. Orton hit a powerslam on Swagger, followed by the inverted backbreaker. Randy hit the RKO on Batista, followed by another on Swagger for the win.
SHAWN MICHAELS FAREWELL
Shawn Michaels + The Undertaker + Triple H: The Undertaker came out before Shawn could say anything, tipped his hat, and left. Shawn said he doesn’t really know what to say. He said when he was 19 he started wrestling, at 23 he started coming in to everyone’s homes every week, and the idea of now being 44 and not coming into their homes every week is going to be a little tough to get used to. Shawn said he appreciates everyone saying thank you, but he has to say thank you. Shawn said they all may not understand this, but for the longest time, this ring and all of them was the only thing Shawn had in his life. Shawn said it was the only place where he ever felt good about himself, and night in and night out they were the only ones in the world that made him like himself. Shawn said he would like to thank so many people but he’s so afraid about doing it out of fear he’ll forget somebody. Shawn said he’s got to thank Hunter for being his friend when no one else in the world wanted to touch him. Shawn said a lot of people didn’t like him many years ago but Hunter never once left his side. Shawn said in this line of work it’s tough to have real friendships, but he thanks Hunter for the real friendship he’s shared with him for the last years. Shawn said there’s a whole lot of people in the trucks out back, and the people holding the camera, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and the greatest announcer of all time Jim Ross he wants to thank. Shawn said he wants to thank all of them because they always made him look way better than he really was and he appreciates it. Shawn said there was a crazy red haired kid from Stanford he needs to thank named Adam, who puts together a lot of the videos they see. Shawn thanked Adam for making him look like a superstar. Shawn said he knows how a lot of people feel about career ending matches and he knows there are a lot of people who are going to be skeptical of his decision, but Shawn doesn’t want to go back on his word to them and The Undertaker. Shawn said for 20+ years he has done his best to be open book in front of them because it’s easier for him to be who he is. Shawn said he wants to honor his word to them and Taker, so he’s going to do everything in his power to make sure he never has another match. Shawn said he needs to thank Bret Hart. Shawn said he cannot tell them how much he drove Bret crazy back in the 90s. Shawn said Bret’s had every right to say bad things about Shawn. Shawn said he needs to thank Bret for forgiving him, understand, accepting, and believing that Shawn knew he had made mistakes, was changed, and would honor his friendship if he gave that opportunity back to him. Shawn brought of Vince McMahon. Shawn said he honestly doesn’t know if he’ll get in trouble for mentioning Vince, but it’s his farewell speech and he’ll mention Vince if he wants. Shawn said there’s absolutely no way he could ever work for anyone else. Shawn said a guy he drove crazier then Bret Hart was Vince. Shawn said he knows that Vince gave him the opportunity to do what he wants to do, but he has to thank Vince for helping Shawn not making bigger mistakes than he has already made. Shawn said he was on a crash course going nowhere and if it wasn’t for Vince keeping him on course, he wouldn’t be there today. Shawn said last but not least there are the fans. Shawn said he has got to travel all over the world, he has got to meet millions of people, he has got to listen to each and every one of them for the majority of his life, he has spent more of his adult life with them than his adult family, and he thanks them all so much for giving him the honor and privilege to show off in front of them every night. Shawn said he thanks his lord and savior Jesus Christ for saving him. Shawn thanked his family. Shawn said this is how we started, and this is how it’s going to end, ladies and gentlemen, the Heart Break Kid Shawn Michaels has left the building. Segment ended with Triple H coming out and hugging Shawn.
BONUS DARK MATCH
Edge defeated World Heavyweight champion Chris Jericho by DQ: After the match, Jericho beat the crap out of Edge until Triple H made the save and did a super-kick (tribute to Shawn Michaels)..