WWE RAW – January 9, 2012 – Corpus Christi, Texas
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
[ REVIEWED BY BRAD DYKENS ]
IN THE RING
Kane + John Cena: Kane spoke about how he embraces hate, and how the fans are in denial. Kane said everybody can’t stand their spouse, dispise their jobs, and think their kids are disappointments. Kane said everybody lives their lives with PURE HATE – but they don’t embrace it. Kane said John Cena represents HOPE and SUCCESS – all the things the people aspire to achive but cannot. Kane said what they should be seeing is their own failures. Kane said it should anger people, and it does. Kane said when they say CENA SUCKS it really means they SUCK. Kane said they think of themselves as decent human beings but they are all LIARS! Kane said cheering for an underdog doesn’t make them good people. Kane said the people made Zack Ryder a star, but that proves nothing! Kane said he was seconds away from dragging Ryder down to the depths of hell, but Cena stopped it. Kane said Cena only delayed the enevitable, because he ALWAYS GETS WHAT HE WANTS! Kane said he wants consequenses for refusing to embrace hate! John Cena came out for a fight with Kane. Cena knocked Kane out of the ring and they battled through the arena and out the back door to the loading ramp. Cena got his hands on a tire iron and bashed Kane’s knee. Kane knocked Cena into a pile of garbage and then disappeared. Cena got up wondering where Kane went.
SMACKDOWN! TAG TEAM MATCH
Sheamus & Santino Marella defeated Wade Barrett & Jinder Mahal:
John Laurinaitis & David Otunga + The Miz: The Miz again wanted to know why JL wasn’t doing anything about R-Truth attacking him twice. JL said he had a lot on his plate. Miz wanted a private security force to protect him. JL said he was not Little Jimmy, he was Big Johnny (then grins). Miz walked away.
HALL OF FAME ANNOUNCEMENT: EDGE!!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Cameras caught the Miz trying to convince Mason Ryan into being his bodyguard but he walked away..
Zack Ryder & Eve Torres + Kane: Eve asked Zack if he was okay after being attacked by Kane last week. Zack wanted to go out with Eve tonight, right now. Eve agreed, but he had to wait until after her match with Beth Phoenix. Eve walked away and Zack looked over his shoulder and then walked off. Kane was seen coming out of a closet in the background.
NON (WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT) TITLE MATCH
World Heavyweight champion Daniel Bryan defeated Kofi Kingston: After the match, the Big Show came out to confront Daniel Bryan. Bryan said he hated how the World title match ended, and the title is too important to end in a DQ. Bryan said he was a fighting champion and would give Big Show a rematch any time. Big Show said he talked to Teddy Long and their rematch would be on SmackDown!, and it would be a No-DQ No Countout match. They shook on it, but Bryan looked nervous.
VIDEO RECAP: Royal Rumble 1994 (winners Bret Hart & Lex Luger)
Brodus Clay defeated Curt Hawkins: Ring announcer Jason Roberts did an elaborate introduction for Brodus Clay, who didn’t come out as a “monster,” but instead came out as a fat version of Flash Funk (complete with two Flash dancers). Seriously? WrestleCrap lives.
Zack Ryder: Zack was randomly brushing his teeth (I guess for his date with Eve) and giving himself a pep talk. He got nervous and looked over his shoulder before running out of the room.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Cameras caught the Miz trying to convince Primo & Epico into being his bodyguards but Rosa Mendes yelled at him and they walked off.. WWE champion C.M. Punk walked by and looked at the Miz and laughed.
NON (WWE CHAMPIONSHIP) TITLE MATCH
WWE champion C.M. Punk defeated Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger): John Laurinaitis, who will referee the Punk vs. Ziggler match at Royal Rumble, was at ringside to watch the match. Swagger’s job was to soften up Punk for Ziggler at the PPV. The finish was weird as Swagger kicked out but the referee counted three. Punk winning means Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger are banned from ringside for the title match at the Rumble. John Laurinaitis raised Punk’s arm in victory.
Zack Ryder & John Cena: Cena said Ryder passed the Miz on the top followed WWE Superstars on Twitter. Cena gave Ryder a pep talk and walked off.
The Bella Twins: The Bellas were griping about Stacy Keibler (who has been gaining fame for dating George Clooney). Ricardo Rodriguez showed up and asked why the Bellas called him there all the way from Mexico. The Bellas had a message for Alberto Del Rio. Miz came in and said the message can wait. Miz said Ricardo is going to march out to the ring and say the most offensive thing he can think of to draw out R-Truth, and if it doesn’t happen he will make Ricardo join Alberto on the disabled list. Ricardo changed his mind and invited the Bellas to join him in the ring. They said ABSOLUTELY NOT. Ricardo reluctantly went out to do Miz’s dirty work.
HALL OF FAME ANNOUNCEMENT: The IV Horsemen!!
IN THE RING
Ricardo Rodriguez + R-Truth + The Miz: Ricardo nervously called out R-Truth, throwing out some desperate insults about his mother and odour. Truth came out smelling himself and wanted to know why Ricardo was trying to pick a fight with him. Truth said he was not a bad man, he is a GOOD R-TRUTH! Truth said Little Jimmy told him he should let Ricardo go. Truth asked the fans if he should let Ricardo go, and they yelled NO! Truth said Little Jimmy wants him to turn Ricardo into a human pinata. Ricardo bugged out like a little cock-a-roach. Truth wanted Ricardo to sing a song. He did it after some convincing. Truth wanted to hear it again, but Ricardo instinctfully slapped the microphone out of his hand. Truth knocked Ricardo down and then the Miz attacked Truth from behind! Miz continued to assault Truth in the ring. Truth fought back and Miz ran away through the audience.
IN THE RING
Chris Jericho: They are saying Jericho claimed to be too emotional last week to talk so this week he is going to speak to the fans. Jericho came out again and milked the reaction like he did last week. He got emotional and started to cry. He got out of the ring and sobbed his way backstage without saying a word for the second week in a row. Where the heck are they going with this? I think we’re being set up.
VIDEO RECAP: Royal Rumble 1998 (winner Stone Cold Steve Austin)
WWE DIVAS MATCH
Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix: Eve came out for her match, and then Kane’s music hit. Zack Ryder ran out and grabbed Eve’s hand and dragged her backstage to safety.
Zack Ryder & Eve Torres: Zack put Eve in his car and then realize the tire was flat. Zack told her to stay in the car and started changing the tire himself! After the commercial, Zack was finishing up as Eve yelled “hurry!”
John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero) ended in a No Contest: John Cena was about to win when the big screen showed Kane attacking Ryder in the parking lot. Kane choke-slammed Ryder off the loading dock. Cena saw this and was concerned. He tried to leave but Dolph put him in the sleeper. Cena rammed him into the ring steps and then ran out of the building, where he was ambushed by Kane! Kane soffocated Cena and the show went off the air.