January 11, 2010 – Minneapolis, Minnesota Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler [ REVIEWED BY SHANE St. GERMAIN ]
IN THE RING Mike Tyson + WWE champion Sheamus + Randy Orton + John Cena + Kofi Kingston: The show started with “The Baddest Man in the Planet” Mike Tyson entering the ring. Tyson said it was great being back to Monday Night Raw! He said the last time he was there, it was a memorable experience and they showed a video package chronicling the last time Tyson was involved with WWE. The fans shouted “You screwed Shawn” and Tyson seemed to approve. He started to say something else, but WWE champion Sheamus interrupted him. Sheamus entered the ring and asked if they really announced Tyson as one of the most iconic sports figures in the 20th century. Sheamus said he was nothing but a washed up ex-champion, and that he (Sheamus) was THE WWE champion, making HIM the baddest man on the planet! Tyson moved his head forward, causing Sheamus to jump back like a child (Mike Tyson is intimidating, but Sheamus is much bigger and in way better shape). Sheamus dared him to try it again but Randy Orton interrupted. Orton said he wasn’t interested in creating a sports center moment, he was interested in the WWE title! He said Sheamus doesn’t have an opponent, so Tyson should make him the #1 contender, and that he should do it soon! John Cena interrupted next, and said hey to everyone! Cena said he was there to see Mike Tyson, and he was there for the WWE championship. He impersonated Sheamus a bit, and reminded him that last time they fought Sheamus lost! He said he’s beaten everyone there, including Mike Tyson in the old NES classic Mike Tyson’s Punch Out! He said if anyone deserves a title shot it’s him, and once again they were interrupted, this time by Kofi Kingston (Someone I’d like to see fight for the title). Orton asked him what he was doing there, stating that he lost to him last week and wasn’t a part of the discussion. Kofi said he was right, but that he was there because Cena and Orton have each been the WWE champion before, but he never has even had a match. He paused for some “Cena sucks!” chants and Cena told him not to pay any attention to them. Kofi restated that he was there, because he wants his shot, his chance at the WWE title, and that he would not take no for an answer! Sheamus said he had a simple way of solving the problem, took another shot at Mike Tyson, and said he wanted the rumble off since Tyson was allowed months in between title defenses. He said if they wanted title shots they should earn them at the rumble. Tyson told Sheamus never to compare them, and that they would have a triple threat match for the #1 contenders match to face Sheamus at the rumble, tonight!
DIVAS TITLE TOURNAMENT 1st ROUND MATCH Alicia Fox defeated Kelly Kelly: Alicia Fox started by punching Kelly right in the face and throwing her around by her hair, eventually taking her down in a headlock while Kelly screamed like crazy. Kelly eventually got some offense in, including a cross body block and her signature head scissors take down and a kick to the face. Alicia hit a powerbomb a few moments later and won to advance in the tournament! (Kelly jumped right onto her shoulders)
FIESTA BOWL: WWE showed clips from the fiesta bowl, and comments from people praising John Cena.
TAG TEAM MATCH Legacy (Ted DiBiase Jr. & Cody Rhodes) defeated Mark Henry & Evan Bourne: Legacy cut a promo before the match talking about how they were two of the last four people in the rumble last year. Cody said left year it was Randy Orton’s turn. Ted said this year it was his turn, and said it was funny how Cody always said he had movie star good looks, while Ted was an actual movie star. Ted said “The Marine 2” surpassed “The Marine” in every way and Cody replied “my 5th grade graduation video surpassed the original Marine!” Cody asked him what his point was, and Ted said he would be the one winning the rumble this year (which doesn’t explain why he had to mention his movie) before they were interrupted by Mark Henry’s entrance music….. Evan Bourne started off against Ted. Bourne was in control for the opening minutes until Ted drop kicked him out of the ring. Cody beat up on Bourne a bit outside of the ring before he finally got back in. Legacy isolated Bourne from Henry until Bourne hit a nice kick on Cody and managed to get the hot tag. Henry knocked Legacy around a bit and hit Cody with a gorilla press slam before tagging back to Bourne. Bourne went for Air Bourne but Ted saved Cody. Legacy got the win a few moments later when Henry was knocked out of the ring by Ted, Ted was kicked in the head by Bourne, and Bourne backed into a Crossroads from Cody!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT DX (Shawn Michaels & Triple H): Triple H asked if Shawn really wanted to do this tonight? Triple H said making peace with Bret Hart was one thing, but Mike Tyson? Tyson’s insane! Shawn said he saw Tyson’s documentary and thought he was a changed man, and was going to prove it later tonight!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT Shawn Michaels & Mike Tyson + Chris Jericho: Shawn Michaels said it felt good to get closure with Bret Hart last week after all those years, and that he wanted to get the same thing with Tyson, and he forgave him for knocking him out at WrestleMania 14. Tyson said that was wonderful, but there’s one little problem, he enjoyed knocking him out! Tyson said he didn’t regret it at all, and wouldn’t mind doing it again! Jericho showed up and said him and Tyson were not so different, and that he was allowed on the show because he had formed a friendship with Tyson! He said Tyson made a match tonight, and that if Jericho won, he could have a free pass to stay on any show, as long as he wants! Michaels asked what the match was, and Tyson said it was “DX vs. Chris Jericho… and Mike Tyson!!!” Michaels said it was fine because he still owes Tyson one. Michaels left while Jericho and Tyson joked around a bit.
RINGSIDE Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler: Michael Cole acted like an overexcited 5 year old about getting to watch Tyson enter a ring for the first time in 5 years (even though Mike Tyson HAS been in a ring since then, WWE writes their own history), before Lawler told him to calm down and a recap of RAW last week involving Hart, Michaels, and McMahon was shown.
IN THE RING Jack Swagger + Santino Marella: Jack Swagger said “news flash! News flash!” and that he was not only going to win the royal rumble, but go on to win the title at WrestleMania! He said he didn’t get to compete in the rumble last year because he was defending his ECW world title. Swagger issued an all American American challenge (an over the top rope challenge) and pleaded for someone, anyone, to come down and face him before Santino appeared! Santino said this was embarrassing, because he was about to go out and issue the “All Italian, Italian” challenge! He said he had a solution, that he was going to drop Swagger like a bicycle with no kickstand!
ALL AMERICAN AMERICAN/ITALIAN ITALIAN OVER-THE-TOP-ROPE CHALLENGE Santino Marella defeated Jack Swagger: Jack Swagger threw Santino around the ring a bit, and hit a splash, before attempting to throw Santino over the top rope. Santino reversed it, causing Swagger to topple over, making Santino the winner!
TRIPLE THREAT #1 CONTENDERS MATCH Randy Orton defeated John Cena and Kofi Kingston to become the new #1 contender!: Kofi and Cena started by double teaming Orton, before Orton retreated to outside. Cena threw him back in and the double teaming resumed until Kofi threw Orton back out. Kofi and Cena were about to start fighting each other when Sheamus came out on top of the stage, distracting them long enough for Orton to attack them both! When the match returned from the commercial break, Orton had Kofi in a headlock while Cena was outside the ring trying to recover from being knocked off the apron into the announcers table. Orton nailed his signature DDT on Cena when he got back on the apron, and was immediately hit with a cross body block from Kofi. Cena hulked up but lost his momentum running into the ring post, and Kofi nearly got the three with the S.O.S. Cena got the STF locked in on Kofi, but Kofi held on until Orton broke it up. Cena hit a few shoulder block’s on Orton, followed by the 5 knuckle shuffle! He went for the Attitude Adjustment but Kofi saved Orton and hit Cena with the Boomdrop! He nailed his Trouble in Paradise on Cena, knocking him out of the ring. Legacy came to ringside and Cody kicked the steps into Cena and distracted the referee while Ted attacked Kofi! Orton then nailed the RKO for the win, he will now face Sheamus for the WWE title at the Royal Rumble! Legacy and Sheamus stare each other down after the match.
BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW Josh Mathews & Mike Tyson + Hornswoggle: Josh asked Mike Tyson what he was planning on doing to Triple H and Shawn Michaels but Hornswoggle interrupted. Tyson knelt beside him and made some ridiculous threats involving shoving his fingers up Hornswoggle’s nostrils tearing out his brains, wrapping them up in newspaper, and smashing it against the window like silly putty!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT/IN THE RING WWE United States champion Mike “The Miz” Mizanin + Montel Vontavious Porter: The Miz said when he first came to WWE, no one respected him, not the fans, not the superstars! He said no one could stand him and that everyone made his life a living hell, and that in the locker room he got kicked out for spilling some crumbs, causing a 6 month ban from the locker room. He said he would walk the halls and see superstars like JBL, and that he would make fun of him constantly. He said everyone wanted him to quit, but that he used the negativity as fuel, to become the star he is today! He began walking towards the ring mid promo. He said he now doesn’t even go in that locker room, because he has his own locker room just for him! He said the regular locker room is for the Evan Bourne’s, and the MVPs, the same MVP who has a title shot against him! He said MVP earned the right to be on a list of people publicly humiliated by him. He said MVP doesn’t deserve a title shot against him, and that if it was up to him MVP would still be in jail, because he doesn’t believe in giving second chances. He said he would rather people hate him for who he is, than love him for who he’s not. He said HE is the reason people watch RAW, not MVP. He said you could put diamonds on a dog, but it’s still a mutt! He said everyone will respect him, because “I’M THE MIZ, AND I’M AWESOME”!!! MVP came out on stage, and said everyone in the WWE universe knows his past, and that he’s never hidden it or ignored it. He said he embraced it, because he doesn’t want people making the same mistakes he did, and that he shouldn’t have to apologize for wearing expensive clothing and attire because he’s worked hard for it. He worked hard to get back into society, he worked hard to be accepted by the WWE universe, and he worked hard to be able to call himself a superstar, in this circus known as the WWE. He also said they are all animals in that universe, but that he’s no mutt. MVP got in the ring and began undressing. He said that as far as animals go in the circus, he’s a tiger, and The Miz is a monkey flinging poop! The Miz did his “really?” routine, before saying that if he was a monkey flinging poop, he wanted to fling some at MVPs lips so he could taste what was coming out of him. MVP said maybe The Miz thinks he’s tamed because he dresses well and earned the respect of the fans. He talked more about his prison time, and how he lived with other animals and fought with other animals you’ve only seen on TV, but he’s the animal who survived. He dared The Miz to open up the cage and find out how tame he really is! Miz and MVP fought for a bit before MVP kicked him right in the side of the head, sending him out of the ring!
DIVAS TITLE TOURNAMENT 1ST ROUND MATCH Eve Torres defeated Katie Lea to advance!: Maryse was on commentary for the match and called Michael Cole a “vintage nerd,” talked about the participants in the tournament, and her relationship with The Miz. This was a short back and forth match which saw both girls getting in some offense before Eve Torres won with a quick school girl roll up!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT Carlito & Gail Kim + Vince McMahon: Carlito asked Gail Kim if she would go out with him after he wins the royal rumble, and McMahon interrupted by walking by (pointless to have Gail and Carlito there).
IN THE RING Vince McMahon: Mr. McMahon started out by denying rumors about hiring extra security to prevent Bret Hart from being there tonight, and that Bret Hart was not there because he’s intimidated. He said Bret screwed Bret back in Montréal, but that last week, he screwed Bret! He said Bret wanted to play nice and put closure, but that McMahon doesn’t play nice, he doesn’t forgive, and doesn’t forget. A “Boring!” chant broke out in the crowd and it seemed like Vince hesitated for a second. He said closure, was Bret laying there writhing in pain because of him, and that if he really wants closure, he will never be seen in the WWE again! The fans didn’t like this.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT Mike Tyson & Chris Jericho: Chris Jericho was helping Mike Tyson train for their match next!
TAG TEAM MATCH Unified Tag Team champions DX (Shawn Michaels & Triple H) defeated Mike Tyson & Chris Jericho: DX cut a promo before the match doing their regular “are you ready?” routine. Shawn said “I am ready, Undertaker, I’m ready for an answer”! He said next week on RAW he wanted an answer regarding whether he would face him in a rematch at WrestleMania XVI! Tyson wasn’t even dressed in any form of wrestling gear for the match. Tyson started off against Michaels. They grappled, and Tyson over-powered him several times (Which is silly considering Shawn is in much better shape and a lot bigger than Tyson) before Michaels tagged out to Hunter. He managed to overpower Triple H too, which is ludicrous, before tagging out to Jericho. DX quickly got the upper hand on Jericho (The 2 big pro wrestlers have trouble with a retired boxer, but when it comes to one of the best wrestlers in the company there’s no problems getting the upper hand; WWE uses logic). Jericho tagged Tyson back in and Hornswoggle came down to the ring dressed like Evander Holyfield. He distracted Jericho while Tyson took off his shirt, revealing a DX shirt! Tyson punched Jericho in the face, giving DX the win!!! Triple H brought Mike Tyson’s son into the ring for the post match celebration.