January 25, 2010 – Columbus, OH Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler [ REVIEWED BY SHANE St. GERMAIN ]
IN THE RING Unified Tag Team champions DX (Shawn Michaels & Triple H): DX did their normal overly long entrance. Hunter (Triple H) asked if everyone was ready, then asked Shawn where Hornswoggle was. Shawn said he sent Hornswoggle home (Editors note: Thank god) and the fans booed in response (even though 90% of people hate Hornswoggle). Shawn said this was serious (still angry about being thrown out of the ring last week by Hunter). Hunter asked if they had to go over this again. Shawn said he wanted to know why Hunter can’t understand the position he is in. Shawn said if he wins the Rumble he gets a guaranteed shot at Undertaker at WrestleMania XVI. Shawn asked if it was too much to ask for. Hunter said it was too much to ask. Hunter said for the last 6 months they’ve been running around making people laugh, but now it’s Rumble time. Hunter said the Rumble was about getting a shot at the championship and being at WrestleMania. Hunter said it should be everyone in the company’s goal, Hunter said he knows how badly Shawn wants the Undertaker, but Hunter really wants the title shot. Hunter said they could work together at the Rumble and throw all 28 other guys out, but at the end of it all it will be those 2, and Hunter said if he has to step on Shawn’s dream to get to his, then that will be exactly what he will do! Shawn said he understood. Legacy then came out so the tag match could get started.
NON (UNIFIED TAG TEAM) TITLE MATCH Unified Tag Team champions DX (Shawn Michaels & Triple H) defeated Legacy (Ted DiBiase Jr. & Cody Rhodes): Hunter started against Cody. Hunter went for the pedigree early but Ted pulled Cody out of the ring. They went to commercial break. When they came back Hunter got the hot tag to Shawn and Jerry Lawler said that one of the guest hosts, James Roday, wouldn’t be there tonight. Shawn went for the elbow drop but Cody slid out of the ring while Ted distracted Shawn, Shawn then jumped onto both of them! When Shawn was getting back in the ring Cody hit him with a big neckbreaker! Legacy beat up on Shawn for a bit, isolating him from Hunter. Cody knocked Hunter off the apron and was met with a big backdrop from Shawn! Shawn made it to the corner but Hunter wasn’t there and Cody got the tag to Ted. Ted tried to set up the dream street but Shawn got out of it, kicked Ted in the mid section and got the hot tag to Hunter! Hunter beat on Legacy and went for the pedigree again but Shawn tagged himself in. Hunter began staring him down and Cody pushed Hunter into Shawn! Shawn hit the sweet chin music on Ted and Triple H hit the devastating forearm on Cody (made that name up for it) and Shawn got the 3! DX shook each others hands afterwards and then posed with the titles they never defend.
IN THE RING Montel Vontavious Porter + WWE United States champion Mike “The Miz” Mizanin : MVP said before his match with Big Show he has something to say to The Miz. MVP said that Miz is the U.S Champion, but MVP is the contender! MVP said that he could continue hiding behind guest hosts, The Big show, and he can keep running his mouth but he can’t keep running away. MVP said eventually Miz will have to defend the title against him, and when he does, MVP will win, making him 3 time United States champion because MVP is straight up Ballin! The Miz came out and said he had no idea what straight up ballin means, Miz asked if it was a euphemism for some criminal act he may have picked up when he was behind bars! Miz said he was straight up shocked, because MVP has been incarcerated, yet the fans all accept him! Miz said for some strange reason, the fans can’t stand him (Miz). Miz said he is treated like an outcast, yet when MVP was getting mug shots, Miz was the star on numerous reality TV shows. Miz said while MVP was making license plates, Miz was becoming a bigger star than anyone in that arena! Miz said maybe that’s why no one likes him. MVP said the reason everyone dislikes him is because he is a jackass. MVP said Miz is not, and will never be a bar. MVP said coincidently, if Miz went to prison he wouldn’t be disliked at all, he would have lots of friends! (Editors note: They can’t show blood, but they can make gay jokes on PG TV?). MVP said it made him wonder what type of relationship The Miz and Big Show really have! Miz said he was the United States champion and would love nothing more then to defend his title match against MVP right now. MVP asked why he didn’t, and Miz said he had a friend who wants to make a statement before the Royal Rumble match. Miz told MVP to enjoy his match with the Big Show while Miz enjoys being United States champion, because he is The Miz, and he is awesome!
SINGLES MATCH The Big Show defeated Montel Vontavious Porter: The Big Show squashed MVP in less then a minute. MVP got in his big boot at the corner at the end, but then ran right into a chokeslam! Miz ran down to the ring after the match and posed.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT Legacy (Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Jr.) + Randy Orton: Ted was sitting on a bench in the locker room while Cody paced back and forth angrily. Cody said that last week he didn’t know where Teds head was at, but as for tonight, Cody thanked Ted for sparing him a kick. Ted got up in Cody’s face but Randy Orton ran in and broke it up. Orton said the last few months they have all had tension between them. Orton said after some miracle they all got back on the same page, but then Legacy goes and loses to DX. Randy said last week Sheamus jumped him from behind but his back up was in the locker room arguing! Randy said he has waited an extremely long time for John Cena to lose the title (Editors note: John Cena held the title for like 34 days) so he could become champion again, but he needs Legacy to get it together. Randy said that when it comes to the Rumble match they need to accept that only one of them can win, but when it comes to Randy’s title match with Sheamus, he will win! Randy said he can do it with, or without, Legacy.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT John Cena & Dule Hill + WWE United States champion The Miz: John Cena said that people were talking about the season premiere of Psych starring himself, Dule Hill, and James Roday! Cena asked where James was, and Dule said James had to get an emergency appendectomy! Cena said that was a nothing operation, but that he has actually had one himself, so Cena felt for the guy. Cena said he remembered filming Psych and it was fun (he said a lot more then fun but I think fun sums it up okay). Cena said tonight was Dule’s night, and to make it his night. Cena left and Dule started talking to himself like a hyperactive little kid when The Miz came in! The Miz said he couldn’t believe Psych would waste their time with Cena, when they could have him. The Miz said he had to Google Dule’s name to find out who he was (ouch?). Miz tried talking down to Dule Hill but Dule cut him off and told Miz to listen! Dule said he was setting a match for Miz tonight! Miz tried doing his “really?” crap but Dule told him he didn’t like two year old bits from SNL! Dule left Miz standing alone.
IN THE RING Maryse Ouellet + Dule Hill: Maryse grabbed the microphone before the match and laughed. She said that the other Divas in the tournament were wasting their time. She started talking in French when pyro went off! Maryse looked like she crapped in her shorts and it showed Dule Hill at the pyrotechnics booth freaking out about how awesome that was! Maryse yelled at Dule and said he was disrespectful. Dule said it was an accident and apologized. Maryse said she didn’t accept his apology and that he was a loser, she started yelling in French at him when Eve Torres came out so the match could get started.
DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMI FINAL MATCH Maryse Ouellet defeated Eve Torres: Eve started off in control, but Maryse rolled out of the way when Eve went for a moonsault! Maryse went for the French kiss but Eve reversed it into a northern lights suplex! Maryse got up, kicked Eve in the midsection, and hit the French kiss for the 3, advancing to the finals of the tournament!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: They showed Vince McMahon walking to the ring..
IN THE RING Vince McMahon + John Cena: They showed a video from last week of Undertaker calling Vince a coward. Vince said if The Undertaker were there tonight he would invite him into the ring and he would look Undertaker square in the eye and dare him to call him a coward! Vince said that his son in law Hunter suggested that if Vince didn’t bring Bret back the fans might consider him a coward! Vince said nothing could be further from the truth, there is no good reason to bring Bret back. Vince said Economics 101, you buy low you sell high. Vince said he sold Bret down the river to WCW and Bret was never heard from again! Vince said people had forgotten about Bret Hart until Shawn coerced him to bring Bret back. Vince asked if there was a reason to bring Bret back again and the fans chanted “we want Bret”. Vince said they better be careful what they wish for. Vince said Bret will never again appear in the WWE! Vince said he is a business man, and he does what is right for the business. The fans booed and Vince said they must be smarter and know more about business than him. Vince said the whole arena must be full of Billionaires. Vince said he wanted to find out how smart the fans are and he left the ring. Vince asked one fan why they should bring Bret back and the fan said he thinks Bret will take Vince down in the ring! Vince jumped the barricade and started asking fans if they thought he was afraid of Bret and some good reasons to bring Bret back to the WWE. One kid said “because hes awesome” and Vince smiled at him like the kid was a moron, and Vince randomly asked some kid how he was doing without waiting for a response, but other then that nothing worth mentioning. Vince had some trouble getting back over the barricade, and then reentered the ring. Vince said he hadn’t heard one good business reason to bring Bret back. Vince said he built an empire, and there is no reason to bring Bret back because Bred is a part of the past. Vince said he is concerned with the present and the future, not some footnote from the past! Vince got ready to leave but Cena came out! Vince said that if Cena was out there to change his mind to not even think about it. Cena said he is not out there to change his mind, and that he has never had a problem with Vince in the past, until Vince said Bret was a used up piece of gum out of flavor that needs to be thrown away. Cena said a couple of months ago Vince treated Roddy Piper like he was nothing. John congratulated Vince on being successful and said he even had an ugly purple jacket to prove it. Vince said it was better than the orange crap John wears! John said Vince had a lot of help building that empire, and he hates how Vince thinks the wrestlers are nothing more than commodities that when they hit their expiration date they’re done. Vince said he had no idea what Cena was talking about. John said the reason people don’t respect Vince because all Vince cares about is lining his pockets and serving his ego. John said it’s a damn shame that when a guy like Bret has done so much Vince decides he can’t do anything anymore and serves his ego by bringing Bret on the show so he can kick him in the gut! John said Vince isn’t a coward, he is pathetic! John said next week Vince will bring Bret into RAW, because Bret deserves a chance to confront him face to face. John said if Vince doesn’t bring him, than Vince will prove that none of the WWE Universe are anything to Vince but commodities to line his wallet and serve his ego. John said to mark August 24 2035 on the calendar. John said he figures by then he will be a chewed up piece of gum that’s lost his flavor. John said on that date he will find Vince and lift him out of his wheelchair, and knock his teeth out! John said this was a situation where Vince needed to do the right thing. Vince yelled for him to stop, and said for everyone to listen. Vince said he’ll invite Bret back for next week! Vince said since John needed to make his present felt, he wanted to put John in a match that night with the WWE Champion Sheamus!
NON (WWE UNITED STATES) TITLE MATCH Kofi Kingston defeated WWE United States champion Mike “The Miz” Mizanin: They started out with some grappling and running around. Miz stopped Kofi’s thunder fairly quickly with a kick to the face. Miz got him in a sleeperhold and Kofi nearly got out but Miz grabbed his dreadlocks and slammed him down! A minute later MVP’s music hit distracting Miz. Miz walked right into the trouble in paradise, giving Kofi the 3! MVP came out and stared at Miz.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT Carlito Colon & Dule Hill + Production Guy: Carlito and Dule snuck into the production truck. Dule said the pyro thing was a mistake and he didn’t mean to scare Maryse. Carlito said they were both professionals and that Dule should have found him and he could have shown Dule around and kept him safe. The production guy said this was where they made all the match up graphics and Dule asked him to bring up Carlitos. Dule asked if a graphic would come up if he pressed any button and the guy said yes. Carlito said Dule should put him in a title match but Dule said instead he would punch in a random code and whoever came up Carlito would face them! Carlito said he needed to stretch and get in his gear but then Kelly Kellys graphic came up and Carlito stopped whining. Carlito said it was a great selection and that Dule was the best guest host of all time. Carlito said he was going to get ready.
IN THE RING Carlito Colon + Kelly Kelly + Santino Marella + Jack Swagger: Carlito was still in his street clothes. Kelly came down to the ring reluctantly but before she could get to the ring Santinos music hit! Santino told Kelly not to take another step. Santino plugged the best of Raw 2009 DVD and said that he was in it looking like a stupido! Santino said he was going to start 2010 by doing something spectacular. Santino said he would take Kellys place, win the match, go on to win the rumble, and then go onto WrestleMania! Jack Swagger ran up behind him and started beating Santino up! He put Santino in the ring and then threw him over the top rope. He slammed Santino into the ring post face first and started doing push ups next to him! He posed a bit more while the announcers acted like Santino got killed.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT John Cena & Dule Hill + James Roday (over speakerphone) + Alicia Fox: John said he didn’t know Dule was going to blow the place up! John talked more about Psych and said he wished Roday was better. John had him on speakerphone and they talked back and forth a bit. I couldn’t really understand him because the speakerphone sucked but he did call Sheamus the love child of Bezerker and carrot top! Alicia Fox came in and asked if Dule was the psychic on Psych. Alicia asked if Dule was the psychic on Psych and he said yes, and then hung up the phone before Roday could protest. Alicia asked if Dule could predict the outcome of her match, and Dule said he could see a Fox standing victorious. Dule said he would be ringside as her good luck charm. Alicia said Dule better be right, and then left. Dule asked what she meant and Cena said it might mean that if Dule’s wrong Alicia will get Mark Henry to rip out his appendix!
DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMI-FINAL MATCH Gail Kim defeated Alicia Fox w/Dule Hill: Dule was on commentary for the match. Gail botched a reverse frankensteiner early in the match. Alicia worked on Gail for a bit but Gail dodged a kick and hit a powerslam for 2! Gail hit her weird finisher kick to the face thing for the 3! Gail is now in the finals! Alicia got up in Dules face out of the ring and smacked him hard across the face before leaving.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: They showed WWE champion Sheamus walking to the ring for his match next!
NON (WWE CHAMPIONSHIP) TITLE MATCH WWE champion Sheamus defeated John Cena by Disqualification: They did some grappling at the beginning until Cena hit his running bulldog. Sheamus tried to fight back but got hit with a fishermans suplex. Sheamus took control for a while, irish whipping Cena hard into the turnbuckle and then knocking him out of the ring. Cena got back in and almost got the attitude adjustment but Sheamus reversed it into a DDT! Sheamus hit a powerslam but only got a 2. Sheamus nearly got the STF but Sheamus countered it. Cena rolled out of the ring and Sheamus Irish whipped him into the steel steps! Cena nearly got counted out but hulked up and ran to the ring at the last second! Cena hit the 5 knuckle shuffle but then Sheamus reversed another attitude adjustment attempt. Sheamus went for the bicycle kick but Cena got his leg and tried to go for the STF but Sheamus made it to the rope. Sheamus rolled out of the ring and Cena went after him and walked right into a bicycle kick! Cena was about to be counted out when Randy Orton hit the ring and nailed the RKO on Sheamus. Randy got Cena set up for the rope DDT but Cena reversed it into an attitude adjustment! Cena posed until the show ended.