March 8, 2010 – Portland, Oregon Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
IN THE RING The Undertaker + Shawn Michaels: Taker said last week was symbolic for what Shawn Michaels’ has become, since he became number 17 in the 17-0 undefeated WrestleMania streak. The fans chanted 18-0! Taker said Shawn Michaels’ life has a dark cloud that hovers above him, unable to be shaken. Taker said Shawn Michaels obsession with shaking away this cloud will cause him to pay the ultimate price, his storied career! Taker said Shawn needs to understand that after WrestleMania there will be no tomorrows, there will be no celebrations, there will be no sense of triumph, there will be no victory for Shawn, only that same dark cloud that will hover above his head for the rest of his life. Taker said saying this brings him no joy, but the fact is, in 3 weeks Shawn Michaels’ career will “rest in…” Shawn’s music cut Taker off! Shawn came down to the ring and said Taker doesn’t get to finish his line tonight because he hasn’t earned that right. Shawn said that dark cloud has hung over his head following him everywhere. Shawn said last week he went to bed full of rage, woke up in the morning, and the cloud was gone! Shawn said he had an epiphany. Shawn said the reason he cost Taker the World heavyweight championship at the chamber was because he had no choice. Shawn said last week Taker interfered in his match, but he didn’t have to! Shawn said it occurred to him that for the first time ever in Takers cold black heart, exists fear! Taker said if he was Shawn, he would choose his next words very carefully. Shawn yelled fear! Shawn said Taker is the only one who knows how close Shawn came to ending it all for him last year (Editor’s note: or anyone who watched the PPV). Shawn said that’s why Taker asked him to put his career on the line, he thought Shawn would say no, but he didn’t! Shawn said this has been his life for over 25 years and he wouldn’t risk everything if he didn’t think he could beat him! Shawn said no one lives a perfect life, nothing lasts forever. Shawn said at WrestleMania he’s going to prove it. Taker said he can’t tell if he is looking at a man who just exudes all this confidence, or if he’s looking at a man full of pitiful desperation! Shawn said he’s not desperate, last year he’d have taken anything to have his hand raised in victory, even DQ or count out, but not this year. Shawn said this year too much is on the line, so he’s proposing a no DQ no countout match (Editor’s note: or just no DQ, because it’s the same thing!). Shawn said the only way to win this match is by pin fall or submission. Taker said so it shall be, Shawn has chosen his own demise. Taker said he can look into Shawn’s eyes, and he sees the fire, he sees the passion, he sees the will, he can look into Shawn’s soul and can see that Shawn honestly thinks he can defeat Taker at WrestleMania. Taker said this is what makes Shawn the showstopper, the main eventer, Mr.WrestleMania, but not this year! Taker said in his opinion, Shawn may be the greatest that ever stepped foot in this ring, but on March 28th, Taker will open up the gates of hell and he will unleash a fury that no mortal man has ever seen, to make sure that Shawn’s career is over! Shawn said Taker can keep telling himself that, after WrestleMania, that dark cloud is going to come back, but this time it will be hanging over Taker! Shawn said that dark cloud will follow him everywhere, and inside that cloud will be an image that will haunt him for the rest of his life. Shawn said the image will be of Shawn Michaels defeating him and ending his undefeated streak!
6 DIVA TAG TEAM MATCH Eve Torres & Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim defeated Maryse Ouellet & Katie Lea Burchill & Alicia Fox: Gail and Alicia started off. Gail quickly took control but walked into a big boot after knocking Katie Lea off the apron. Maryse tagged in but Gail got the tag to Eve. Eve hit a couple of drop kicks on Maryse and a running senton before getting a 2. Katie and Alicia hit the ring and attacked Eve so Kelly and Gail knocked them both out of the ring. Maryse ran into an elbow and submitted after Eve locked in an arm bar from the top turnbuckle!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT Criss Angel & Hornswoggle + The Bella Twins (Nikki & Brie) + Jillian Hall: Criss was having a conversation with Hornswoggle about his show when the herpes twins walked in. The Bella Twins asked if they could be assistants for the night. Criss said he doesn’t use twins. The Bella Twins asked for a demonstration so he put a string in his mouth and pulled it out of his eye. Jillian came in and said she wanted to be his assistant, and could even sing his introduction. Criss said he heard about her singing and snapped his finger, causing her to lose her voice!
IN THE RING Unified Tag Team champions ShowMiz (The Big Show & WWE United States champion Mike “The Miz” Mizanin) + John Morrison & R-Truth: Miz said last week on SmackDown! John Morrison and R-Truth earned the right to face them for the unified tag team championships at WrestleMania. Miz said not since the British bulldog and Lex Luger have joined forces has a tag team with such little credibility been given such a great opportunity. Miz said it’s an insult to them and that they would rather face the Bushwhackers. Miz said shame on the WWE Superstars for not having the talent and credibility for not having the talent to be worthy adversaries. Miz said shame on the WWE Universe for not realizing what’s standing before them. Miz said they are walking miracles, precious commodities, endangered species. Miz said to look at them, to get a good hard look, because they are the last truly great tag team in the WWE.
NON (UNIFIED TAG TEAM) TITLE TAG MATCH Unified Tag Team champions ShowMiz (The Big Show & WWE United States champion Mike “The Miz” Mizanin) vs. John Morrison & R-Truth went to a no contest: 5 seconds into the match Truth and Morrison knocked ShowMiz out of the ring and attacked them both, causing the referee to ring the bell. Morrison & Truth hit a double baseball slide on Miz and a double DDT on Big Show. Morrison grabbed a microphone and said they just showed ShowMiz how real they could get. Truth said that is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!
BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW Josh Mathews & John Cena: Josh asked Cena what his thoughts were on being left completely speechless last week. Cena said what Batista said is correct, he can’t defeat him. Cena said he hasn’t beat him, Batista has broken his neck and taken his championship and virtually left him for dead. Cena said there’s not much of an argument, Batista has his number, and the only thing he can do is go out there and beat him. Josh asked Cena if he anticipated Batista getting involved in his match tonight. Cena said he’s counting on it!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT Criss Angel & Evan Bourne + Skip Sheffield & William Regal: Evan was thanking Criss for giving him a MIIB qualifying match against William Regal. Skip came in with a piece of yellow paper and said hey to Evan when William Regal walked in and told him to be quiet. William said he would see Evan in the ring. Evan said he’d be there, waiting for him and his lavender. Skip told Criss he was a huge fan and was wondering if he would show him a mind trick. William said Skip gets excited over automatic water dispensers at the airport! Criss told William to write down a number and he would guess what it is. William wrote down the number 56 and Criss figured it out. Skip freaked out and told William he owes him a CD.
2 ON 1 HANDICAP MATCH Legacy (Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Jr.) defeated Randy Orton: Randy Orton ran down the ramp and attacked Legacy during their entrance! Randy knocked them both down with punches and kicks and followed up by entering the ring and waiting for them! Back from commercial the match started. Randy easily had Cody’s number so Cody tagged in Ted. Ted tagged Cody back in and leveled Randy with a cheap shot while Cody distracted the ref. Randy back dropped Cody out of the ring and caught Ted trying to sneak up on him. Back from commercial Randy was still in control. Ted managed to pull Randy out of the ring and level him with a drop kick. Legacy began dominating Randy, making frequent tags and doing lots of double teaming. Randy managed to hulk up late in the match, hitting several powerslams and an inverted DDT on Ted. Randy got ready for the RKO but Cody grabbed his legs, Randy kicked him away and backed into the dream street from Ted! Ted got the 3.
BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW Josh Mathews & WWE champion Dave Batista: Josh asked Batista on his thoughts about what John Cena said earlier about him running in on his match with Vince. Batista said he thinks Cena has never dealt with anyone like him and it’s messing him up a little bit. Batista said this has nothing to do with him and Cena, it has to do with Cena and Vince. Batista said he gives Josh his word that he will not get involved in that match tonight, and that if Josh sees Cena to tell him good luck, it seems like he could use a confidence booth.
IN THE RING Triple H + Sheamus: Hunter said he respects what Sheamus did last week. Hunter said if that was him and some guy had just beat him up in the Elimination Chamber, pinned him, took away his WWE championship, concussed him, and humiliated him he would want to make a statement too! Sheamus came out. Sheamus said he wasn’t making a statement, but he’ll make one at WrestleMania, if Hunter has the guts! Hunter said Sheamus has had a hell of a first year, ending careers, becoming WWE champion, maybe the best first year in the history of the business (Editor’s note: I guess they forget about Brock Lesnar). Hunter said Sheamus has never been to the big dance, WrestleMania. Hunter said he knows as well as Sheamus does that until he makes a name for himself at WrestleMania all his other accomplishments mean absolutely nothing. Hunter said years ago Hunter was in the same place as Sheamus, he was on a rocket ship to the top undefeated, so he jumped on the biggest dog he could find at WrestleMania (The Ultimate Warrior), he was going to make a name for himself and etch himself into the foundation of the WWE. Hunter said he got crushed! Hunter said after he went into a pit of obscurity, and he had to scratch and claw his way out of that hole before he became THE guy who everyone wanted to wrestle at WM to make a name for themselves on. Hunter said over the years a lot of guys have tried, and a few succeeded, and the ones who did had their careers take off to a level they could have never dreamed of, like John Cena, and Batista. Hunter said that’s the short list, the long list is the guys who failed. Hunter said the guys who failed went back down to a pit of obscurity, to being just a footnote in the history of the WWE. Hunter said Sheamus is going to have to be willing to lay it all on the line, all or nothing, for just one shot at being immortal at WrestleMania, or being nothing. Hunter said it’s a lot to think about, before Sheamus takes that gamble he had better be sure! Sheamus backed up and then tried to jump Hunter but Hunter easily knocked him out of the ring! Sheamus pulled Hunter out of the ring but missed the bicycle kick and got clotheslined over the barricade. Sheamus tried to walk away but Hunter jumped on his back and took him down. Sheamus threw Hunter back into the ring and ran right into a spine buster! Sheamus ran off after that.
POINTLESS SEGMENT Santino Marella & Criss Angel: Santino introduced himself to Criss, and said he came from a long line of magical people, including Ralph Macchio who made Karate kid and then disappeared! Santino made a couple more jokes. Santino did the cutting your thumb off hand trick, and asked Criss to do something better. Criss showed him 4 empty cups and told Santino to hide a sharp knife under any one of the cups. Criss told Santino to put a hand on his shoulder so he could read his muscles. Criss crushed three of the cups with his hand while Santino freaked out.
MONEY IN THE BANK QUALIFYING MATCH Evan Bourne defeated William Regal w/Skip Sheffield to qualify: Christian was on commentary with Heath Slater standing behind him. Regal quickly took control of Evan and Christian was shown with Heath standing behind him clearly checking his watch. Regal hit a butterfly suplex for 2, followed by a huge T-bone suplex. Regal tried for the knee trembler but Evan countered with a knee of his own, followed by the shooting star press for the 3!
NO DQ HANDICAP GAUNTLET MATCH Vince McMahon with help from Vladimir Kozlov & Drew McIntyre & Jack Swagger & Mark Henry & Batista defeated John Cena: Criss Angel was out to ring announce for the match. Criss said he was honored to be there and announced Cena and Vince to the ring. Vince grabbed the mic and said he knew Bret was watching. Vince said to enjoy this match, and no disrespect to Criss Angel, but the result of this match won’t be an illusion. Vince said the reality is Cena will be defeated, and it’s no ordinary match, it’s a gauntlet match. Vince announced Vladimir Kozlov to the ring as Cena’s first opponent! Vladimir took control with a powerslam and nailed the urinage. Vince pinned Cena but only got a 2! Drew McIntyre ran down to the ring! Drew hit the mic check and tagged in Vince. Vince once again only got a 2, then called Jack Swagger down to the ring. Back from commercial Cena was in the middle of hitting the 5 knuckle shuffle on Swagger. Cena nearly hit Swagger with the Attitude adjustment but Swagger got out of it. Swagger hit the middle rope splash twice and tagged in Vince, who only got a 2. Vince called a reluctant looking Mark Henry down to the ring. Vince forced Mark to give Cena a worlds strongest slam, and then got a 2! Vince grabbed the mic and said it was now a no DQ handicap gauntlet match! Vince brought a ring bell into the ring and Mark tried to stop him from using it so Vince gave it to Mark. Mark said no and walked right into a spear from Batista! Kofi Kingston ran down to the ring to try and help Cena but quickly got taken down with a big powerbomb. Cena hulked up and tried for the attitude adjustment on Vince but Batista hit a huge spear followed by the Batista bomb so Vince could get the 3! Show ended with Batista raising his arms over Cena.