December 13, 2010 – New Orleans, LA THE WWE SLAMMY AWARDS 2010! Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler & C.M. Punk
ON STAGE – SLAMMY AWARD PRESENTATION (SHOCKER OF THE YEAR) David Arquette + Nexus leader Wade Barrett: Ring announcer Jason Roberts introduced the first Slammy presenter, former WCW World Heavyweight champion, David Arquette, whose appearance went over worse than Dennis Miller. He was there to present the awards for Shocker of the Year! The nominees were; 1) The Miz cashes in Money in the Bank, 2) The Nexus debuts and destroys the RAW set, 3) Paul Bearer turns on the Undertaker, 4) Randy Orton punt kicks Chris Jericho…… The award goes to, the debut of Nexus! Wade Barrett came out to accept the award on behalf of the Nexus. Barrett said the Nexus wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for him winning NXT season 1 and bringing the rest of them to RAW with him. Barrett said he was the only one who has the power to rehire John Cena. Barrett said the rest of Nexus have informed him that if he fails to rehire Cena tonight then he will be kicked out of the group – the group which he created. Barrett said he hasn’t made a decision yet but will make up his mind by the end of the night. Barrett promised that he would be creating more shocking moments in the near future in the WWE. An email came in from the Anonymous General Manager, and it was read by Michael “AND I QUOTE” Cole.. The G.M. booked Barrett in a match against SmackDown!’s Big Show – right now! Big Show came out and grabbed Barrett’s Slammy award and lured him to the ring with it.
SINGLES MATCH The Big Show defeated Wade Barrett: A few minutes into the match, after taking a vicious beating, Wade Barrett grabbed his Slammy Award and walked out on the match
ON STAGE – SLAMMY AWARD PRESENTATION (DESPICABLE ME AWARD) Kelly Kelly & Tyson Kidd (w/Jackson Andrews) + C.M. Punk: Kelly read a bunch of big words off the script. Tyson Kidd introduced his new bodyguard, Jackson Andrews. Tyson then made fun of Kelly’s lack of intelligence. Kelly congratulated Tyson on talking more tonight than his entire WWE career. The nominees were; 1) Drew McIntyre‘s treatment of Theodore Long, 2) Kane burying the Undertaker Alive, 3) Mr. McMahon screws Bret again, 4) C.M. Punk spoils Rey Mysterio’s daughter’s birthday… The award goes to, C.M. Punk! Wow that would have been my last choice. I think Rey’s daughter should get the award for being such a good little actress. Punk hugged Michael Cole and celebrated. Punk said this proves that if you work hard and believe in yourself, you can make all your dreams come true. Punk explained that he did what he did to Rey Mysterio because he wronged him. Punk said backstage there is another individual who has wronged him, and wanted him to know that some day he will get his revenge (he’s most likely talking about Daniel Bryan). Punk said if you think what he did to Rey was despicable, then you haven’t seen anything yet!
ON STAGE – SLAMMY AWARD (GUEST STAR SHINING MOMENT OF THE YEAR) Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov + Pee Wee Herman (via sattelite): Santonio jokingly remembered the time Vladimir Kozlov was humiliated by the cast of McGruber. Kozlov implied that he would crush Santino if he announced McGruber the winners of the award. Santino apologized and kissed Kozlov. The nominees were; 1) Mike Tyson knocking out Chris Jericho, 2) Pee Wee Herman punks out the Miz, 3) Wayne Brady gets RKO’d by Randy Orton, 4) William Shatner singing WWE Superstar Entrance themes…. And the award goes to PEE WEE HERMAN! They showed a video of Pee Wee Herman accepting his Slammy Award.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT The Nexus (Wade Barrett & David Otunga & Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel & Husky Harris & Michael McGillicutty): The rest of Nexus wanted to know what Wade Barrett’s decision was going to be. Barrett didn’t say anything. David Otunga was the spokesperson for the group, and he said wrestling Big Show didn’t do anything for Wade’s singles career. Barrett thanked Otunga for opening his eyes, and now he knows exactly what he’s going to do.
SINGLES MATCH Cody Rhodes defeated “The World’s Strongest Man” Mark Henry: The announcers talked about Cody Rhodes spending the day at the spa and then called his victory an upset.
ON STAGE – SLAMMY AWARD PRESENT (HOLY SH*T MOVE OF THE YEAR) Jerry “The King” Lawler + Vickie Guerrero: The King made a perverted joke and Vickie told him to get on with it. Vickie got a good laugh remembering when Michael Cole cost the King a WWE championship. The King made some more jokes at the expense of Vickie Guerrero. The nominees were; 1) John Morrison jumps off a scaffold at Hell in a Cell, 2) Kofi Kingston does the Boom-drop off a ladder at Money in the Bank, 3) John Cena FU’s Batista off the set through the stage, 4) Randy Orton catches Evan Bourne in an Air Bourne and connects with an RKO… And the awards goes to, John Cena! Wade Barrett came out and grabbed the Slammy and walked to the ring.
IN THE RING Wade Barrett + John Cena + Nexus (David Otunga & Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel & Husky Harris & Michael McGillicutty): Wade Barrett said the whole world is hanging on his every word because they all want to know if he was going to rehire John Cena. Barrett teased his decision until the crowd broke out in chants for Cena. Barrett said he wanted to announce his decision straight to John Cena, so he told him to come to the ring right now! Cena came out of the audience as if he was sitting there all night. Barrett told Cena to keep his distance or he’ll never get rehired. Barrett said his decision affects Cena, himself, and Nexus. Suddenly the Nexus walked down and surrounded the ring. Cena took off his shirt and was ready to fight all of them. There was a long boring pause before Barrett announced that Cena was officially rehired, but on two conditions. 1) Cena agrees to face him at TLC in a Chair match, and 2) Cena agrees to go one-on-one with David Otunga TONIGHT! Cena was more than happy to agree to both conditions, but Otunga looked a little caught off guard. Barrett left the ring and the other five members of Nexus jumped in and attacked Cena. Barrett grabbed a chair and re-entered the ring so he could bash Cena with it over and over. Where are all of Cena’s friends now?
ON STAGE – SLAMMY AWARD (WWE UNIVERSE FAN REACTION OF THE YEAR) David Arquette + Angry Miz Girl + Mike “The Miz” Mizanin & Alex Riley: David Arquette came back out to put the building to sleep, plugging his new theatre or some crap like that. He either had Laryngitis or was putting on a cliche heel voice to sound more cool (but had the opposite effect). The nominees are… 1) Weird kid reacting to John Cena joining Nexus, 2) Loser crying when Shawn Michaels’ career ended, 3) Dumb-struck moron, 4) Angry Miz Girl reacting to Miz becoming WWE champion… And the award goes to, Angry Miz Girl! They actually flew the Angry Miz Girl (Kaylee) to the show to accept the award. She thanked her dad for taking her to RAW and her sister for standing up for her. The Miz (w/Alex Riley) interrupted and got down on one knee in front of Kaylee. Miz talked down to Kaylee and asked if he could look at her Slammy. He took it out of her hands and said he should keep it for safe keeping. Miz wanted Kaylee to show him the face that won her the Slammy. Miz gave the Slammy to Alex Riley and poor Kaylee had to walk off stage. Miz, Riley, and David Arquette walked to the ring as Miz bragged about being a Grand Slam Champion. Miz told everyone to tune in to the TLC PPV and watch him put Randy Orton through a table. The Anonymous General Manager sent in an email, which was read by Michael “AND I QUOTE” Cole. The G.M. said both Miz & Orton will face former champions tonight.
NON (WWE CHAMPIONSHIP) TITLE MATCH Mike “The Miz” Mizanin (w/Alex Riley & David Arquette) defeated Rey Mysterio: Midway through the match, Alberto Del Rio walked out to ringside to keep an eye on the match. Alex Riley distracted the referee so that Del Rio could trip Mysterio and allow the Miz to pick up the tainted victory! Mysterio got up and chased Del Rio up the ramp behind the curtain. Another email came in from the General Manager, who booked Randy Orton vs. Alex Riley & David Arquette later!
ON STAGE – SLAMMY AWARD (“OH SNAP” MELTDOWN OF THE YEAR) Edge + Christian: Edge said Kane was supposed to be his co-presenter, but he is busy having a meltdown of his own right now. Edge assured Kane that he would forget about Paul Bearer after he beats him for the World Heavyweight title at TLC. Edge said he needed a co-presenter that he’s comfortable with; one that he knows well and that he’s had chemistry with over the years. Christian came out and joined Edge on the stage. We’re supposed for forget that last time they were together they had unresolved issued on SmackDown!. Christian said he hopes Alberto Del Rio wins the award tonight because his peeps haven’t forgotten that Alberto was the reason he is on the shelf with an injury. The nominees are; 1) Big Show destroys Jack Swagger’s memoribilia, 2) Alberto Del Rio assaults Rey Mysterio, 3) Edge attacks the Anonymous General Manager’s computer, 4) Batista goes nuts and QUITS…. And the award goes to, Edge (for destroying the RAW G.M. Computer). Edge was thankful but he’s always been calm and rational. Edge started to lose his cool talking about a General Manager who “hides behind a computer.” Christian got an email on his phone from the Anonymous General Manager but he said he was just kidding and was trying to cut the tension. Edge said things change in the WWE all the time, but there was one thing that has remained the same, AND I QUOTE, Michael Cole is STILL A MASSIVE TOOL!
GRUDGE MATCH King Sheamus vs. John Morrison ended in a Double DQ: The match lasted only a few seconds until the referee was accidentally knocked down and he quickly threw the match out. An email came in from the Anonymous General Manager, which was read by Michael “AND I QUOTE” Cole. The G.M. booked both men in a #1 Contenders ladder match at the TLC PPV! Sheamus attacked Morrison and was upset about the decision. Sheamus shoved a ladder into Morrison’s ribs and then continued the assault. Sheamus picked up Morrison and launched him over the top rope onto the ladder!
ON STAGE – SLAMMY AWARD (KNUCKLEHEAD MOMENT OF THE YEAR) William Regal & JTG + LayCool (Michelle McCool & Layla El): JTG did his stupid “yoyoyoyoyo” gimmick as William Regal watched on with disgust. The nominees were; C.M. Punk gets unmasked by the Big Show, 2) Mae Young punks out LayCool, 3) Beth Phoenix eliminates The Great Khali from the Royal Rumble, 4) Santino & Vladimir Kozlov in a dance-off….. The award goes to “LayCool beating Mae Young” – well at least that’s what JTG said. LayCool (Michelle McCool & Layla El) came out and happily accepted the award in annoying fashion. Isn’t this award kinda like winning the Darwin award?
SLAMMY AWARD (DIVA OF THE YEAR) – DIVAS BATTLE ROYAL Michelle McCool defeated Layla El and Natalya Neidhart and Beth Phoenix and Maryse Ouellet and Melina Perez and Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres and Alicia Fox and Gail Kim and Rosa Mendes and Tamina and Nikki Bella and Brie Bella and Kaitlyn (NXT) : All of the Divas immediately ganged up on Michelle McCool & Layla El but couldn’t eliminate them. Kaitlyn was eliminated first by Tamina. Rosa was eliminated by Tamina. Tamina was eliminated by The Bella Twins. One of the Bellas were eliminated by Eve. Eve was eliminated by Alicia. The other Bella was eliminated. The announcers were ignoring the action in the ring. Maryse was eliminated. Kelly was eliminated. I may have missed a few eliminations. Melina was eliminated by Beth. Layla was eliminated by Beth. Beth was eliminated by Michelle. Gail Kim & Alicia Fox was eliminated by Natalya. Natalya was eliminated by Michelle McCool! Michelle McCool is the 2010 Diva of the Year!!! Now both members of LayCool have a Slammy. An email came in from the Anonymous General Manager, which was read by Michael “AND I QUOTE” Cole. The G.M. booked Michelle McCool & Layla El vs. Beth Phoenix & Natalya Neidhart in the “first ever” Divas Tag Team Tables Match!
SINGLES MATCH Edge defeated Jack Swagger with a spear:
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT Mike “The Miz” Mizanin & Alex Riley + David Arquette: Alex Riley voiced his concern about teaming with David Arquette. The Miz said not to worry because he would be out there with them. David Arquette came in all pumped up and compared himself to the Miz. Riley said that Randy Orton was unpredictable.
ON STAGE – SLAMMY AWARD (WWE MOMENT OF THE YEAR) The Big Show + Shawn Michaels (big screen): The Big Show talked about Hulk Hogan slamming Andre The Giant, Jimmy Snuka jumping off a steel cage, and the birth of Austin 3:16. The nominees were; 1) The “Free or Fired” match at Survivor Series, 2) Sheamus attacks Triple H during a tribute to Shawn Michaels, 3) the Super-sized Spear (Edge vs. Jericho), 4) Streak vs. Career (The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels)… And the winner is, no surprise, Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker! They showed a message from Shawn Michaels (taped at the Tribute to the Troops event). Michaels joked that he was at an undisclosed location so that the WWE doesn’t try to comvince him to come back. Michaels graciously accepted the award and said it was a wonderful ride, but he doesn’t miss it – however, he does miss the fans. Nice one.
HANDICAP MATCH Randy Orton defeated Alex Riley & David Arquette w/Mike “The Miz” Mizanin: Alex Riley wrestled the whole match and David Arquette stood on the apron the whole time looking like an idiot. Orton won with an RKO, but the Miz immediately attacked him with the Money in the Bank briefcase! The Miz slid a table into the ring and David Arquette set it up for him. Together, Miz & Arquette tried to suplex Orton through the table, but Orton escaped. Orton went after Miz but Arquette broke it up. Miz jumped out of the ring but Arquette couldn’t escape. Orton proceeded to power-bomb Arquette through the table!!!
ON STAGE – SLAMMY AWARD (“AND I QUOTE” LINE OF THE YEAR) Michael Cole: They showed a highlight reel of entertaining quotes throughout 2010 in the WWE, from pretty much everyone in the WWE. Of course, Michael Cole announced himself as the winner because he is the voice of the WWE. Cole said he didn’t expect this, but pulled out a speech from his pocket. Cole said he was humbled by the award despite the fact that he deserves it. Cole thanked all the Cole-miners and also thanked the Miz before he was cut off by bumper music.
ON STAGE – SLAMMY AWARD (WWE SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR) Theodore Long + John Cena: The nominees were; 1) Edge, 2) The Miz, 3) Kane, 4) John Cena, 5) Rey Mysterio, 6) Randy Orton…. And the winner IS, as voted by the WWE Universe, JOHN CENA! Cena came out looking like a guy who didn’t get beat up by six guys earlier. Cena thanked the fans for not giving up on him. Cena said it was amazing because up until an hour ago he didn’t have a job. Cena talked about his year, and the joy of tailgating with the WWE Universe. Cena said the things that have happened to him have been his own fault, but he is now back full-time on RAW, and will continue to be a man of his word. Cena said he has taken out every member of the Nexus except two; David Otunga & Wade Barrett. Cena said tonight David Otunga will GET HURT and that will leave just one! Barrett said this Sunday at TLC every once of angry he has will be unleashed on Wade Barrett!
GRUDGE MATCH John Cena defeated Nexus member David “A-List” Otunga: Before the match, Nexus came out to the stage and Wade Barrett showed the video of what happened earlier tonight when Barrett rehired Cena and the Nexus destroyed him. Otunga bumped forarms with all members of the Nexus except Barrett before heading to the ring to face Cena. Otunga looked back to the stage and watched each member of Nexus walk out on him one at a time. Wade Barrett took a seat on the stage to watch the match. Otunga was left in the ring to deal with the wrath of John Cena! The finish saw Cena force Otunga to tap out with the STF. After the match, Cena grabbed a chair and repeatedly smashed Otunga with it! Barrett just watched from the stage holding his own chair. Cena lined up Otunga for one last chairshot and then pounded him! Barrett held up his chair on stage acknowledging Cena’s aggression.