January 29, 2010 – Cincinnati, Ohio
Announcers: Jim Ross & Todd Grisham
[ REVIEWED BY SHANE ST. GERMAIN ]
IN THE RING
Unified Tag Team champions DX (Shawn Michaels & Triple H) + Rey Mysterio + Straight Edge Society (C.M. Punk & Luke Gallows & Serena) + Theodore Long: Before Hunter (Triple H) could say anything, Rey Mysterio came out! Rey told Shawn he respected him, but that he felt Shawn didn’t respect him. Rey said he has been watching RAW and that he has been hearing Shawn talking about winning the Rumble and facing Undertaker at WrestleMania. Rey asked Shawn if he really thinks Undertaker is going to retain on Sunday night and Shawn said that’s exactly what he thinks! Shawn said he wanted to know why Rey was out there getting in his face. Hunter told Rey to calm down, and that Hornswoggle wasn’t there for Rey to fight with so he should just run along. Rey asked him if he thought that was funny, and Rey said he’s going to do something neither of them could do at WrestleMania – he is going to beat The Undertaker! Shawn asked him what would happen if he (Rey) doesn’t make it to the Rumble, and Rey asked him what would happen if he (Shawn) didn’t make it to the Rumble! Rey said if there’s a problem they could take care of it in that ring tonight! The Straight Edge Society came out, complete with new bald female member Serena. Punk said that Rey has got to be high on some kind of illegal pharmaceutical substance; Punk said Rey is watching RAW, but he should try watching SmackDown!, because tonight the Straight Edge Society will become the first ever straight edge Unified tag team champions! Punk said he came out here with a purpose, to lead his crusade, and he has brought his disciples, Luke Gallows and Serena, with him. Hunter said he has been watching SmackDown!, and although he is relieved to know Punk is straight, he thinks no one gives a crap about his lifestyle! Punk said Hunter was looking at 3 people who do give a crap, and not to pretend like he knows anything about him, or straight edge. Hunter said he doesn’t get it; he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t smoke, he doesn’t do drugs, Hunter said he doesn’t either, but he doesn’t look like he has been on a weeklong crack binge with Amy Winehouse! (Editors note: A gay joke and a crack reference 10 minutes into a PG show). Hunter said Punk should have some pride, to pick himself up and clean himself off, shave the squirrel on his face! Hunter said Punk should also take a shower, because he doesn’t know if it’s him, lobotomy man or Brittney Spears, but one of them has a bad case of swamp butt! Punk asked if amateur comedy hour was over because he was out there to grab the tag titles – and then Theodore Long came out! Long told them things weren’t going down like that, because this is the WWE, and when opportunity knocks, things tend to change. Long said Punk and Gallows won’t be getting their tag team title match tonight! Punk freaked out, and Long said instead that they were going to do something a whole lot bigger. Long said tonight Rey Mysterio, will go one on one with Shawn Michaels! Long also said that since Punk is expecting to compete in a match tonight, he is going to go one on one with Triple H!
Triple H defeated C.M. Punk w/Luke Gallows & Serena by DQ: Triple H sent Shawn Michaels to the back, saying he could do it himself. Triple H started the match by getting Punk in a rest hold (Editors note: I guess all that talking tired him out). Punk got Hunter to the turnbuckle and began taking control, using kicks and isolating Hunter at the turnbuckle. Hunter went for the pedigree but Punk got out of the ring, so Hunter grabbed him by his hair and pulled him back in! Punk hit Hunter with a springboard clothesline as they went to commercial. Punk was still in control when SmackDown! returned. Punk got Hunter into a kind of modified triangle choke, and began elbowing him in the face! Punk nearly knocked Hunter out with a kick to the face after Hunter hit a big vertical suplex. Punk singed in the modified triangle choke again. Hunter regained control after a big spine buster! Hunter went on offense, including his signature knee to the face, but when he attempted the pedigree again, Punk reversed it into a backdrop! Punk knee’d Hunter in the face at the turnbuckle, but when he went for the follow up bulldog, Hunter reversed it! Hunter got Punk into the figure 4 leg lock. Serena distracted the referee while Gallows punched Hunter in the head! Punk went for the G2S but Hunter reversed it into another attempted pedigree and Serena ran into the ring and jumped on Hunters back, causing a DQ! Straight Edge Society beat up Hunter for a while, and Gallows pulled out the shaver! Before they could get a chance to Shawn ran in and threw Gallows over the top rope! Punk held Serena in front of him and slipped out of the ring. Serena stood there until Michaels set up for a superkick and she quickly jumped out of the ring. Hunter stomped a mudhole in the hair clippers, really showing it who the boss is.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: They showed Chris Jericho walking to the ring..
R-Truth defeated Chris Jericho: R-Truth started off in control, throwing Chris Jericho out of the ring fairly quickly, but Jericho took over when Truth jumped over the top rope and missed. When they came back from commercial Jericho was working on Truths ribs. Truth managed to take control again, and got a 2 after kicking Jericho in the face! Jericho went for the walls of Jericho but Truth reversed it! Jericho then went for the code breaker, and Truth revered that into a pin and got the 3!
Josh Mathews & Batista: Batista was dressed like a golfer and looked ridiculous for this interview. Josh asked Batista what his strategy was for the Rumble match. Batista said his strategy hasn’t changed at all, and that last week when he attacked Rey all he was doing was putting the spotlight back on himself. Batista said he was robbed out of his title and cheated out of his contender spot. Batista said all he was doing last week was making a statement that he is going to win the Royal Rumble, and win back whats rightfully his! Batista said if anyone gets in his way, including DX and John Cena, they’re going to get hurt!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: They showed John Morrison walking to the ring for his title shot, next!
IN THE RING
John Morrison: John Morrison said unlike Drew McIntyre, he wasn’t hand picked by the brass in the back and pedigreed into their corporate champion. Morrison said he saw Drew drop the IC title on the floor an hour after winning it so he could give his Irish buddy Sheamus a chest bump, which shows to him that Drew has no idea what that title means. Morrison said Drew is talented, but he doesn’t appreciate what he has because he likes to take shortcuts. Morrison said Drew doesn’t like to play by the rules, but tonight, there are no rules. Morrison said Drew can’t cheat and can’t run, or get counted out. Morrison said he was going to pullback Drew’s corporate table cloth, and show him that if he wants to be a champion, he has to fight for it like everyone else!
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE NO-DQ MATCH
Drew McIntyre defeated John Morrison to retain the WWE Intercontinental title: John Morrison knocked Drew McIntyre out of the ring fairly quickly, but Drew attacked him with a kendo stick when Morrison went after him! Drew tried to run away a minute later so Morrison kicked him in the temple! Drew tried to hit Morrison with the belt but Morrison kicked Drew in the midsection. Drew took control after some vicious shots to Morrison and posed with the IC title as they went to commercial. When the show returned Drew had Morrison in a cross face chicken wing type hold. Morrison went for his springboard kick but Drew pushed him out of the ring! Drew tried to throw the steel steps at Morrison but he ducked it, so Drew clotheslined him over the barricade! Morrison took control, threw Drew over the barricade, and then jumped over it and hit a clothesline on Drew! Morrison started using the kendo stick on Drew, so Drew thumbed him in the eye to take control. Drew tried to use the kendo stick but Morrison reversed it into an arm drag onto the steel steps! Morrison threw Drew in the ring but only got a 2. Morrison went for starship pain but Drew brought his knees up. Drew hit his butterfly DDT onto the IC title for the win!
IN THE RING
WWE Women’s champion Michelle McCool + Layla El: Michelle McCool told everyone to listen, because said she did all of her fans a favor last week by sending Piggy James back to the barnyard for good. Michelle said Mickie would be gone forever and said not to be upset because Mickie’s home where she belongs now. Michelle said if your anything like her, not that you can be, because she’s flawless, she said if anyone could imagine being like her, she can’t stop smiling about last week! They showed a video recap of Michelle, Beth and Layla torturing Mickie last week. Michelle said Mickie James’ career was over. Michelle said she didn’t mean to upset the fans, but that she would be upset too if she didn’t get to see herself defend the title against Piggy James at the Royal Rumble. Michelle said she was a fighting champion, and being a fighting champion, she had an idea. Michelle said if there are any girls in the back who think they can take the title away from here, to come out and try it, right there, right now! Mickie James’ music hit, but it was Layla in a fat suit. Layla (pretending to be Mickie) said last week she couldn’t stop crying because she didn’t get enough cake. Layla said if Michelle thinks she’s going to cheat her out of her title shot to make her first in line for all the buffets across the country, she’s sadly mistaken. Michelle said she thought it would make her happy. Layla said she’s starving, and Michelle told the people in the back to get her a pizza. Layla said she lost 5 pounds in the last week, and Michelle said she must be lying. Michelle helped Layla into the ring while the fans chanted boring and booed. The bell rung for some reason and a match started.
WWE WOMENS TITLE MATCH
Michelle McCool defeated Piggy James (Layla in a fat suit) to retain the WWE Women’s title: When the match started Layla was chasing Michelle around outside the ring still pretending to be Piggy in a fat suit. Michelle taunted her with a doughnut the whole time. Michelle knocked Layla over and got the 3 to retain her championship. Layla acted like a turtle trying to get up after the match while Matt Striker laughed like an idiot.
VIDEO PACKAGE: They showed highlights of previous Royal Rumble matches and facts..
Shawn Michaels + Batista + Triple H: They showed Shawn Michaels walking towards the ring but Batista cut him off. Batista said he didn’t care about Shawn’s obsession with Undertaker, and to stay out of his face at the Rumble. Shawn said he always thought Batista was over-rated! Batista started to say “oh, well maybe I should…” but Triple H cut him off by saying “maybe I should what?”! Shawn walked off while Hunter and Batista stared each other down. Hunter asked if Batista had anything to say to him, and Batista left.
Shawn Michaels defeated Rey Mysterio by DQ: This was a very athletic match. Early in the match, Rey was using his speed but Shawn slid him out of the ring, tried to baseball slide into him, but Rey got back in the ring. Rey hit a big headscissors take down and went for the 619 early on, but Shawn escaped from the ring. Rey went for another 619 but Shawn got out of the way and went for a sweet chin music but Rey ducked it! Rey pulled Shawn over the top rope with a headscissors as they went to commercial. Rey worked on Shawn’s left leg a lot. Rey got his right knee caught up in the turnbuckle when he went to the top rope but Shawn slapped his leg away. Shawn hooked in a modified figure 4 Indian deathlock ( as Matt Striker put it) onto Rey, but Rey got to the ropes. They fought back and forth for around 6 minutes, reversing a lot of moves. Shawn put his knees up when Rey went for a splash. Shawn climbed up to the top rope and hit his elbow drop. Shawn went for the sweet chin music again but Rey roundhouse kicked him into the ropes and hit the 619! Rey went for the west coast pop but Shawn got up and hit the sweet chin music! They were both laid out for a long time, and right when Shawn got up Batista hit the ring and speared him! Batista hit the spinebuster on Rey, went for a Batista bomb on Shawn, but Triple H ran down to the ring! Triple H hit a spinebuster on Batista, and then clotheslined Batista over the top rope, going with him! Shawn and Rey began getting up and the lights went out, when they came back on Undertaker was in the ring! Undertaker hit a double chokeslam, and his pyro and music played as the show ended!