January 30, 2009 – Indianapolis, Indiana
Announcers: Jim Ross & Tazz
IN THE RING
Matt Hardy: Matt Hardy heelishly walked to the ring wearing a black suit. He carried with him the steel chair he used to knock out his brother with at Royal Rumble. Matt set up the chair in the middle of the ring and sat down as the crowd booed. Matt explained that he no longer has to share the spotlight with his brother. Matt said tonight was his night, and said Jeff was at home and he was going to stay at home. They showed childhood photos of the Hardy boys on the big screen. Matt said he has always taken care of Jeff personally and professionally. Matt said people are blaming him for the spree of accidents, but claimed nobody could proove that he cause these accidents. Matt said what wasn’t an accident is what he did to Jeff at the Royal Rumble. Matt said with one shot from a steel chair, all the pain and suffering that Jeff put him through over the years was transfered right back to him. Matt said it was a burden of responsibility to take care of a brother like Jeff, who was no more than a constant mistake. Matt said he constantly had to cover for Jeff and spent too many nights worrying about Jeff. Matt said without him looking after him, Jeff Hardy won’t be able to survive. Matt said he has never been healthier or happier. Matt said if his success means Jeff’s destruction then so be it. Matt went on to blame the fans for his actions. He said for ten years he tried to get everyone to like him and make everybody happy, but it was never good enough. Matt said he has been a roll model, but all the fans cared about was the irresponsible screw-up known as Jeff Hardy. Matt said from now on the only person he cares about is HIM. Matt looked into the camera and sent a message to Jeff; there is no such thing any more as the Hardy Boyz. Matt said he no longer considers Jeff his partner, and he no longer considers him his brother. Ouch. Throughout this entire speech there was some creepy funeral parlor music playing on the sound system.
R-Truth defeated Brian Kendrick: The referee ejected big Ezekiel Jackson before the match and sent him backstage. R-Truth finished off The Kendrick rather quickly without having to worry about outside interference from Ezekiel..
Montel Vontavious Porter defeated Chavo Guerrero: MVP has most of his confidence back, after finally breaking his losing streak a few weeks ago. After the match, Tazz interviewed MVP and said he was ON A ROLL! MVP said he was back and he wants his United States championship back. MVP when he does he will be straight up BALLIN’!
HIGHLIGHT REEL: The Elimination Chamber..
Umaga defeated Jimmy Wang Yang: This was billed as Umaga’s return to SmackDown! (from injury). They plugged Umaga’s entrance music, which is available on “WWE the Music: Volume 9” – in stores now. Umaga has shaven most of his goatee off, and gains a small amount of weight. The crowd was really cheering for Umaga, and he was playing to the crowd too. This match reminded me of a 1986 Saturday morning WWF Superstars squash match!
ELIMINATION CHAMBER QUALIFYING MATCH
The Undertaker defeated Mark Henry w/Tony Atlas by Submission: The Undertaker went through Mark Henry quite easily to earn a spot in the SmackDown! Elimination chamber match at No Way Out.
HIGHLIGHT REEL: They showed clip of Mickey Rourke’s confrontation with Chris Jericho on Larry King Live – which may, or may not, lead to some kind of match at WrestleMania 25 in Houston.
IN THE RING
General Manager Vickie Guerrero + WWE Champion Edge + The Big Show: Vickie Guerrero enthusiastically, with 100% bias, introduced her husband, the brand new WWE champion, Edge – who has a DVD out called “Decade of Decadence.” Edge was beaming from ear to ear as he explained that he is usually happy to ignore the fans. Edge said he wanted to have an open conversation tonight, and talked about pleading his innocence in the Jeff Hardy accidents, but everybody called him a liar. Edge said a lot of people said he would not walk out of Royal Rumble as WWE champion, but each and every one of them were WRONG WRONG WRONG! Edge told the fans to stand up and instructed them to say “Edge, I’m sorry!” All he got was boos. Edge accepted their apologies. Edge said he was watching his DVD recently and realized he hasn’t done any seven second poses lately. Edge held up his WWE championship while sucking face with Vickie Guerrero. The Big Show interrupted this tender moment. Big Show is acting babyface gain for no obvious reason except that he’s getting tired of doing Vickie’s dirty work. Big Show lifted Vickie up in a hug and spun her around and around. Big Show reached out and stroked Edge’s championship, and he quickly pulled back and dragged Vickie out of the ring by the hand.
ELIMINATION CHAMBER QUALIFYING MATCH
The Big Show defeated Festus w/Jesse: Like anybody believed that they would put Festus in the Elimination Chamber match. Since WWE refuses to acknowledge it, I want to remind everyone that Jesse is the son of wrestling legend Terry Gordy. The Big Show defeated Festus with a knockout punch and then took out Jesse with a giant Choke-slam! The Big Show earns a spot in the SmackDown! Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out!
Eve Torres + Michelle McCool: Michelle McCool said she was surprised to see Eve, because she thought she had quit. Michelle said Eve got exactly what she deserved for provoking her. Eve hauled off and slammed Michelle accross the face!
ELIMINATION CHAMBER QUALIFYING 3-WAY
Triple H defeated Vladimir Kozlov and The Great Khali: Late in the match, Vladimir Kozlov stunned the Great Khali with a head-butt to the chest. Kozlov charged Triple H, but H ducked and sent Kozlov flying over the top rope. Triple H flattened Khali with the world’s sloppiest Pedigree for the win. Triple H earns a spot in the SmackDown! Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out!