January 8, 2006 – Albany, New York
NEW YEARS REVOLUTION QUICK & DIRTY RESULTS
SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT
Chavo Guerrero defeated Gene Snitsky:
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH
Ric Flair defeated Edge w/Lita by DQ to retain the WWE Intercontinental title: Lita was locked in the Figure-four when Edge whacked Ric Flair twice with the Money in the Bank briefcase for the DQ! After the match, Edge said he wasn’t interested in Ric Flair any more and had bigger things on his mind..
INTERVIEW: Todd Grisham interviewed Kurt Angle with Daivari. Angle said he hoped the U.S. loses the war in Iraq, and that France was the greatest country in the World. Angle said he doesn’t like black people and he would like to make Jesus Christ tap out. He is the king of cheap heat. Angle said he could say whatever he wanted and the people would still cheer for him!
WWE WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH
Trish Stratus defeated Mickie James to retain the WWE Women’s title: Trish Stratus had Mickie James in a headlock but had to break it when Mickie had her hand on Trish’s breast! Mickie James actually hit the Stratusfaction but failed to follow up and it cost her the victory.
INTERVIEW: Maria Kanellis tried to interview herself but the questions were too hard..
Jerry “The King” Lawler defeated Gregory Helms:
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Mickie James started hitting on Trish Stratus in the WWE.com Unlimited area..
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Viscera found Shelton Benjamin’s Mama bent over and wanted some action..
Triple H defeated The Big Show: The Big Show was wearing a thick cast on his wrist, which became split after smashing it on the ring post! Triple H managed to rip the cast off and spent several minutes viciously assaulting Big Show’s hand. The Big Show tried to go for the choke-slam but couldn’t do it, and then accidentally punched the referee. Triple H got a sledgehammer and charged at Big Show, who stopped HHH and smashed the handle with his hand. Triple H went to the floor and smashed The Big Show’s hand on the ring steps with a metal folding chair. Triple H used the broken sledgehammer to whack The Big Show and hit a weak-looking Pedigree for the victory.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Carlito Cool & Chris Masters agreed to work together in the Elimination Chamber..
Shelton Benjamin w/his Mama defeated Viscera: Mrs. Benjamin hit Viscera with her loaded purse, to help her baby boy win the match..
BRA & PANTIES GAUNTLET MATCH
Ashley Marraro beat Maria Kanellis and Candice Michelle and Torrie Wilson and Victoria: Maria stripped Candice to eliminate her. Maria stripped Torrie (New Theme Music) to eliminate her. Victoria stripped Maria to eliminate her. Mae Young and the Fabulous Moolah came out and made a mess of the match and then left. Mae Young stripped down to her bra and long-johns and then ripped Victoria’s shirt off. Ashley ran down and quickly ripped Victoria’s shorts off to win the match! In the tradition of all WWE sluts, Ashley stripped down to her bra & panties to celebrate her own victory.
ELIMINATION CHAMBER FOR THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
John Cena defeated Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle and Kane and Chris Masters and Carlito Cool to retain the WWE Championship: Shawn Michaels entered the Elimination Chamber first. John Cena entered the Elimination Chamber second. Carlito Cool entered the Elimination Chamber, followed next by Kurt Angle. Angle immediately German Suplexed everybody twice each!!! Chris Masters entered the Elimination Chamber and saved Carlito Cool from a double-team. Shawn Michaels eliminated Kurt Angle after a superkick! Kane entered the Elimination Chamber last. Chris Masters & Carlito Cool (formed an alliance) eliminated Kane! Chris Masters & Carlito Cool also eliminated Shawn Michaels together. Chris Masters DDT’d John Cena on the steel platform, busting Cena’s forehead open! Carlito eliminated Chris Masters when he double-crossed him with a surprise roll-up! Cena eliminated Carlito seconds later with a roll-up to win the match and retain his WWE Championship!
EVENT CONCLUSION: Vince McMahon came out and congratulated John Cena, but added that the night was not over for Cena. Vince McMahon announced that Edge had chosen to cash in his “Money in the Bank” title shot TONIGHT!
WWE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
Edge defeated John Cena to win the WWE Championship!: The crowd became unglued when Edge pinned John Cena in about two minutes after a pair of electric Spears!