January 29, 2006 – Miami, Florida
ROYAL RUMBLE QUICK & DIRTY RESULTS
SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT:
CRUISERWEIGHT OPEN INVITATIONAL
Gregory Helms defeated Kid Kash and Jamie Noble and Nunzio and Paul London and Sho Funaki to win the WWE Cruiserweight title: RAW’s Gregory Helms was eligible to participate since it was open to all former Cruiserweight Champions.. Paul London did a Shooting Star Press off the top rope to the outside but completely missed everybody! Gregory Helms pinned Sho Funaki after a Shining Wizard to capture the WWE Cruiserweight title! Editor’s Note: So twice now, RAW guys have jumped ship to capture SmackDown! championships. The other being Kurt Angle’s recent title victory.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Theodore Long said he was there to supervise the drawing of the Royal Rumble numbers.. Vince McMahon said he already had enough help, in the form of Torrie Wilson, Candice Michelle and Victoria.. Randy Orton came in and picked out his number and seemed to be very happy with what he pulled.. Triple H came in and exchanged words with Randy Orton and picked his number, but wasn’t so happy!
Mickie James defeated Ashley Massaro: Trish Stratus was the special guest referee for this match. Backstage before the match, Mickie James pulled Trish Stratus aside to tell her that she loved her. Awkward moment. Trish Stratus showed no favourtism towards either of the girls, who fought relentlessly. Mickie James pulled the tights to power-bomb Ashley Massaro out of the corner to score the pin! Trish Stratus counted 1…. 2…. and then hestitated before counting 3! Mickie James kept trying to hug Trish Stratus but she pushed her off on each attempt. Awkward!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Torrie Wilson, Candice Michelle, and Victoria were showing Vince “I Write My Own Scripts, Thank you” McMahon their tatoos. The Big Show came in and said he had tatoos but Vince didn’t care, and The Big Show proceeded to pick his number. Rey Mysterio picked a bad number and played it off as Eddie Guerrero playing a joke on him….
The Boogeyman defeated John Bradshaw Layfield w/Jillian Hall: The Boogeyman pinned Jillian Hall down on the mat and spit worms from his mouth onto her chest and face. This was an absolutely terrible match; The Boogeyman won with a Pump Handle Slam and pinned JBL..
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Vince McMahon thought Candice Michelle gropped him but it turned out to be Shelton Benjamin’s Mama.. Shelton Benjamin kissed his Mama for luck picked his number and promised to eliminate Shawn Michaels.. Melina Perez came in asked Vince McMahon for a favor, then Mercury & Nitro picked their numbers and were satisfied. Vince “I Write My Own Scripts, Thank You” McMahon then sat on the couch and snuggled with the divas (Torrie, Candice, & Victoria)..
ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH
Rey Mysterio last eliminated Randy Orton to win the Royal Rumble to earn a main event at WrestleMania 22!!!!!: As Lilian Garcia was introducing the Royal Rumble stipulations, the Spirit Squad came out and did a special Rumble cheer! The crowd booed the Spirit Squad heavily, then they left and Lilian Garcia continued her announcing duties. Michael Cole (SD!) and Jerry Lawler (RAW) did commentary | It should have been Joey Styles & Tazz dammit! Triple H (#1) and Rey Mysterio (#2) were the first two entrants, Rey Mysterio drove a low-rider to the ring in honor of Eddie Guerrero. The Coach (#7) came out and was eliminated by The Big Show after only a few seconds in the ring!! Bobby Lashley (#9) was heavily featured and got power-moves over on both the Big Show and Kane.. Bobby Lashley eliminated Sylvan (possibly injured) but then turned around and got double choke-slammed! Kane & Big Show eliminated Lashley, then fought eachother, but Triple H snuck in and dumped them both out! Booker T (#13) came out with a confident look on his face but was eliminated by Chris Benoit within seconds! Tatanka (#15) was the first surprise entrant, looking to be in great shape, representing RAW, I assume.. At the half way mark, Triple H (#1) and Rey Mysterio (#2) were still going strong in the Rumble. Rob Van Dam (#20) came out and performed a flurry of moves on the 10 wrestlers still in the Rumble. Chavo Guerrero (#22) came out as the fans chanted “Eddie! Eddie!” and tried a frog splash but HHH dumped him out. Shawn Michaels (#25) came out and everyone went after him, trying to eliminate him to make Vince McMahon happy. Viscera (#27) came out wearing purple pajama, and Michael Cole commented that he wore those colors before (as Mabel). Chris Masters & Carlito Cool teamed up to eliminate Viscera, but then Carlito double-crossed Chris Masters! Shawn Michaels eliminated MNM (Murcury & Nitro) and Shelton Benjamin — which caused Vince McMahon to come down to the ring. Shane McMahon snuck in from behind and tossed Shawn Michaels over the top rope to eliminate him! The Final Four were Triple H (#1), Rey Mysterio (#2), Rob Van Dam (#20) and Randy Orton (#30).. Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam formed a brief alliance, until Rey inadvertantly eliminated Rob Van Dam. Triple H & Randy Orton formed a brief alliance, but Rey fought back and hit a double 619! Rey Mysterio dug down deep and eliminated Triple H — who pulled Rey out and threw him into the steps in a fit of anger! Mysterio wrestled Cruiserweight-style, nearly getting eliminated numerous times, but hanging on! Randy Orton thought he had the match wrapped up but Rey flung Orton over the top rope to WIN!! Rey Mysterio had dedicated the match to Eddie Guerrero and he celebrated by pointing towards the heavens! Backstage after the match; Dean Malenko, Chris Benoit, and Chavo Guerrero congratulated Rey Mysterio just before Edge showed up. Edge w/Lita told Rey Mysterio not to think about using the loop-hole that Chris Benoit used two years ago.
WWE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
John Cena defeated Edge w/Lita to recapture the WWE Championship!: A mysterious metal scaffold was lowered from the ceiling and used for John Cena’s entrance (waste of money). Cena hit the FU on Edge, and then made Edge tap out to the STF-U to recapture the WWE Championship! After the match, Edge took physical exception to Todd Grisham calling Edge a “transitional champion.” “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan showed up and said he has something to say to Lita —— Hoooooooooooooooo!!!
Josh Matthews & Kurt Angle: Kurt Angle said if that “little bastard” Daivari interfered he’ll take him out!
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
Kurt Angle defeated Mark Henry w/Daivari to retain the World Heavyweight title: Horrible match, which is rare for Kurt Angle.. After the match, the lights went out and The Undertaker made his appearance and starred down at Kurt Angle. The Undertaker raised his arms and fireworks went off over Kurt Angle’s head! Lightning then struck the corner posts of the ring, and the ring collapsed under Kurt Angle’s feet. Tazz shouted “HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!” and Kurt Angle looked freaked out and paranoid……..
|ORDER OF ENTRY
Triple H (RAW)
Rey Mysterio (SD!)
Simon Dean (SD!)
Ric Flair (RAW)
The Big Show (RAW)
The Coach (RAW)
Bobby Lashley (SD!)
Carlito Cool (RAW)
Chris Benoit (SD!)
Booker T (SD!)
Joey Mercury (SD!)
Johnny Nitro (SD!)
Trevor Murdoch (RAW)
Eugene Dinsmore (RAW)
Road Warrior Animal (SD!)
Rob Van Dam (RAW)
Orlando Jordan (SD!)
Chavo Guerrero (RAW)
Matt Hardy (SD!)
Super Crazy (SD!)
Shawn Michaels (RAW)
Chris Masters (RAW)
Shelton Benjamin (RAW)
Randy Orton (SD!)
|ORDER OF ELIMINATION
Simon Dean by Rey Mysterio (at #3)
Psicosis by Rey Mysterio (at #4)
Ric Flair by Triple H (at #5)
The Coach by The Big Show (at #7)
Sylvan by Kane & Big Show (at #10)
Bobby Lashley by Kane & Big Show (at #10)
The Big Show by Triple H (at #10)
Kane by Triple H (at #10)
Booker T by Chris Benoit (at #13)
Animal by Rob Van Dam (at #20)
Chavo Guerrero by Triple H (at #22)
Tatanka by MNM (at #23)
Trevor Murdoch by Shawn Michaels (at #25)
Matt Hardy by Viscera (at #27)
Eugene by Chris Benoit (at #28)
Super Crazy by Rey Mysterio (at #29)
Chris Benoit by Randy Orton (at #30)
Viscera by Chris Masters & Carlito
Chris Masters by Carlito Cool
Goldust by Rob Van Dam
Orlando Jordan by Randy Orton
Joey Mercury by Shawn Michaels
Johnny Nitro by Shawn Michaels
Shelton Benjamin by Shawn Michaels
Shawn Michaels by Shane McMahon
Carlito Cool by Rob Van Dam
Rob Van Dam by Rey Mysterio
Triple H by Rey Mysterio
Randy Orton by Rey Mysterio
WINNER: Rey Mysterio!!