Editor’s note: some of the YouTube links have since been removed from YouTube…sorry about that!
Good morning/afternoon/evening everyone wherever you may be and welcome to the Women’s Wrestling Write-Up here at OnlineWorldOfWrestling.com. It’s Jack here once again bringing you the latest happenings from the delightful Divas and those naughty Knockouts. I swear these introductions are getting cheesier by the week but hey, alliteration for the win! This week, the Divas appeared on RAW and actually had a match, like OMG NO WAY whilst General Manager AJ donned her sharpest white suit and got stuck in on the job! Meanwhile, there was a tag match on NXT which may aswell have been billed as ‘Strange Bedfellows’ match. Finally, although there was no match on Smackdown, AJ appeared as Booker T’s special guest and we had a storyline building backstage segment. There was also some smaller tidbits including a Funkadactyl appearance, Aksana strutting her stuff and Vickie Guerrero appearing in a prominent in-ring segment, The Highlight Reel! As far as WWE goes, I think we’ve been treated well this week! Whilst all that was going on, IMPACT Wrestling featured a non-title match between Brooke/Miss Tessmacher and Gail Kim. Without further ado, stop your on-going search for Chyna’s dog, Hachie, and have a well-earned rest by sitting back, relaxing and reliving what happened this week!
This week’s ‘Opening Contest’ to set us off in the best possible way is Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel from Smackdown. The Jeritron 5000 has been upgraded to a 6000, (swanky, ey?), Y2J is officially back (we are mindless sycophants no more) and his first guest now that he has brought back the Ayatolla of Rock and Rolla? The Queen Diva and creator of the Excuse Me Mumba dance movement, Vickie Guerrero. What will Vickie have to say? Jericho’s walls have been crumbling as of late – will she be the set-up Dolph Ziggler is after? Let’s take a look!
My Thoughts: I often overlook Vickie on this column as tbh, she introduces Dolph and that’s about it but this week, she shone on the mic with Chris Jericho. Vickie’s character is great; she thinks that she is better and more important that what she actually is and it came across great when Jericho was hitting her with jokes back and forth. I loved her attempt at a walk-out with Jericho saying “Well get the hell out of here!” Vickie did her job as a manager excellently by putting Dolph over like he had invented the cure to all diseases or something and in my opinion; she is one of WWE’s Top 5 people on the mic. The OMG of the Week featured here aswell and I decided that Vickie and Jericho’s ‘Excuse Me’-off will be it! Jericho’s banter is always top notch and Vickie was gold, perhaps Golder than a London 2012 medal!
Next, its Midcard Mediocrity time and we are sticking with Smackdown. AJ made a surprise appearance as Booker T’s special guest. How did AJ get involved? Did she act a bit more Cray.J than she has since becoming RAW GM? Either way, we are about to be in the presence of A.Jesus so let’s bask in her messiah-ness!
My Thoughts: WWE definitely did the right thing by having AJ be more involved in this feud and appearing on Smackdown as tbh, she is the reason this feud started and the reason is continued and there really isn’t any point in it going on unless she is involved. WWE are doing a lot of feuds recently which lack a personable edge to them and are more about seeing two top stars battle it out with that factor being the only draw so to at least see an authority figure involved in this, it’s a bit different to the others. I could go on and on but this is a Women’s column and even though I once gave Kane, Torrie Wilson’s entrance on a WWE game, he’s not a Diva!
AJ acted a lot crazier tonight than others since she became GM and I was happy with that aswell. She seemingly isn’t losing her crazy side altogether which is very important as it keeps her character consistent. Her cheeky little wink to Kane to say “go get him baby” was awesome and that’s why we love AJ; every last detail is thought about by her and she executes them perfectly!
Smackdown had one last golden nugget of goodness (well more like a Bronze Nugget if those even exist) as two divas were involved in a backstage segment. Eve Torres tried last week to get a job on Booker T’s staff and it didn’t go as planned for her as the diva that ‘looks good to me’ as whilst she’s everything I want and everything I need, she didn’t get what she wanted. This week Eve hoped for second time lucky and arranged a meeting with Booker T. How did the meeting go? Will Eve pull Booker up on his “Golddigga” comment? Whilst I hum Kanye West and Jamie Fox’s classic track, take a look at what transpired.
My Thoughts: Well this was a really entertaining and interesting segment and whilst it wasn’t much, I’m interested in seeing where this goes as we haven’t really seen anything like this before where a job is on the line. Kaitlyn’s character is to me, better than her in-ring work so seeing her in a non-wrestling roll would be interesting and I’m glad that WWE has chosen to do something with her as she hasn’t been up to much as of late.
Eve perplexes me on the other hand as if she hates Teddy Long so much, why would she want to work underneath him? Some logical issues here but I guess it’s just because Eve craves power and as all WWE fans are 5 years old according them, that’s meant to be enough explanation for me! I am however looking forward to seeing these two square off for what I believe is the first time in singles competition. Eve tends to have nice chemistry with most in the ring and these two worked well when they appeared in the 6 Diva tag match at the last PPV. Hooray for a match on Smackdown for what seems like a lifetime!
Speaking of not being seen in a lifetime, the Divas haven’t featured in a match on RAW for even longer! However eternity ended this week as WWE seemingly listened to the #WeWantDivasWWE hashtag and we got a match. You might be shocked in thinking WWE could spare 3 minutes on a 3 hour broadcast for the Divas but miracles can happen and tonight we got proof in the form of Kelly Kelly vs. Eve.
My Thoughts: Whilst Kelly has been gone, the Divas division has been as dead as A.W’s WWE career (not making so many Millions of Dollars now, are we?) and it seems the K2 is the defibrillator to the heart of the Divas division. Shocking at 420!! No idea what that last sentence means, I’ve just heard it mentioned on medical dramas in the past. Kelly is back from hiatus (which hopefully didn’t involve any public bathroom sinks) and she is back with a bang! I have to say, I think this is the first match I’ve seen Kelly in where it felt longer than it actually was and it had a real feeling to it that it’s a match that when I’m bored on a lazy Sunday in years to come, I’ll actually remember this one and go back to it. Whilst Kelly’s comeback seemed a little rushed, I enjoyed the rest of the match. Eve was acting like Kelly was beneath her (insert your own innuendo) and I enjoyed that cowardly side to her performance. Kelly definitely brought her game though and whilst she is still arch-enemies with the ring ropes, her offence was slick and her Irish whip into the barrier with sick! Although it didn’t set-up any stories, this was a step in the right direction and fingers crossed that we will see something centered around the Divas Title next week.
Finally if you want some extra additional Diva sightings then I have some final mouth-watering portions of Diva goodness for you to get your teeth stuck into. The Funkadactyls saw Brodus Clay be assaulted on RAW, Aksana saw her boyfriend lose for the first time via pinfall to Christian and last week’s NXT match pitting Audrey Marie vs. Raquel Diaz was re-uploaded!
Cameron and Naomi: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYC7IaCN7-U
Audrey/Raquel (Skip to 3:45): http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xskxig_wwe-nxt-8-1-12-part-2-3-hq_sport?search_algo=2
What time is it? No, it’s not time for me to get a watch; it’s the dreaded DEATH SLOT time! Sadly, my favourite NXT Diva Paige is featured this week! As much as I show her favouritism at times, unfortunately I couldn’t be that bias today as although her performance was actually excellent, I wasn’t a fan of the work of everyone else. Paige teamed with Tamina Snuka (or Snooker as William Regal calls her) to team up against FCW Divas Champion Caylee Turner and Kaitlyn. They are incredibly random teams which unfortunately resulted in a hot mess. Let’s take a look.
My Thoughts: WHAT THE HELL was the idea behind this match? I am struggling to fathom who was Face and who was Heel and what I actually just watched! I don’t even think Byron Saxton knew, as he described Caylee as bubbly and then she was quite cold looking throughout the whole thing. The match wasn’t horrendous but there wasn’t much good about it either so I have a sort of, meh feeling about it all. The flow to the match was horrible and there were several times Paige and Caylee kept doing basic moves like snapmares and then going straight for a pin. Realistically, doing that wouldn’t score the win as the move wasn’t hard hitting enough nor was it a surprise factor. Some of Paige’s offence was good, especially her Fall Away Slam but other than that, the match didn’t click with me at all.
I’ve not seen much of Caylee in the ring due to her ring announcing all the time but it seems like she needs to get some more training in. She botched at one point and when I was watching her, I just wanted the match to end; it was as though she was making the match up on the spot. Also, much like some of her sister’s attires, WHAT THE HELL did she have on? I don’t normally pick up on this kind of thing but the colours and stuff reminded me of a mouldy giraffe.
From mouldy giraffes to the Main Event! Excellent Segway out of the way and we have a corker of a bout for this week’s Main Event. Brooke Tessmacher has been having an OK Knockouts Title reign so far and she’s got to face Madison Rayne this Sunday; and a win would continue her decent run of form. As for this week’s IMPACT though, she had to face the woman who she beat to win the belt, the Canadian Ninja, Gail Kim. Can Gail deliver a dose of KIMPACT to get the win and perhaps slot herself into this Sunday’s match or will Brooke Tess-Shock the life out of her foe to garner some momentum? Let’s dive right in!
My Thoughts: First off, I am in love with Gail Kim. I need to challenge her husband to cook-off or something. I make an excellent Casserole. Well I made one once. Anyway, the match was very good. The start was really exciting with Brooke not even able to complete her entrance yet this part of the encounter made the Champ look very savvy as she managed to avoid Gail’s attack and stick it to her briefly. Gail’s draping of Brooke across the middle rope and standing on her cockily was another highlight that was not only unique, but it also meant Gail could get her character across. Gail’s always being good at making lemonade of out lemons so good on her for doing it again. I really enjoyed the way Brooke won the match also. It’s always nice to see someone execute their finisher in a different way or through a counter and this was one of those moments.
The aftermath was interesting and I’m glad that Madison got a chance to be on TV this week and I loved Miss Tess’ reaction to the kiss. She was right, it is disgusting! There is a problem with this story however as Earl Hebner has showed blatant favouritism to Madison in recent weeks so he clearly wouldn’t be allowed to ref the match on Sunday, yet we all know that the way it’s going to end up. I personally see Madison winning the match thanks to Earl before Brooke Hogan comes down to reverse the decision and restart the match, which Tessmacher wins. We’ll see if I’m right next week.
Before I go for this week, I’d like to address some news that broke this weekend. I was going to submit this earlier but I’m glad I didn’t because I now have chance to discuss WWE’s release of Sofia Cortez. According to numerous online news sites, Sofia/Ivelisse was fired due to her behaviour and her attitude. Whether this is true or not, I’m really gutted to see WWE let her go. She had a unique look and I loved her finisher but sadly, something major has happened and WWE thought it was right to get rid of her. Good luck to Sofia in whatever she does next; I really hope we see her performing again soon! As much as she’s got a nice face, I’d personally like to see her in a mask!
Well that wraps things up for another week here on the Women’s Wrestling Write-Up. Next week, it’s confirmed that I will have Madison vs. Brooke to talk about and Eve vs. Kaitlyn and I’m sure there’ll be more than that – although knowing WWE’s booking of the Divas, I won’t count on it! See you soon people and thanks for reading!
— Jack White @Jack5326