October 16, 2003
Cincinatti, Ohio
Announcers: Michael Cole & Tazz

    • A-Train defeated Orlando Jordan..
    • Ultimo Dragon defeated Joey Matthews..
    • Matt Hardy defeated Sho Funaki..

  2. IN THE RING: Kurt Angle (pretending to be John Cena) + Mini-Kurt Angle + John Cena..
    • Kurt Angle comes out to John Cena's "thug" music and dressed in John Cena "thug" outfit..
    • Kurt Angle cuts a promo in "thug" form, poking fun at John Cena's obsession with other men's balls..
    • Kurt Angle's music hits and John Cena send out a midget dressed as Kurt Angle (hilarious)..
    • Mini-Kurt walks up to Kurt Angle's crotch and Kurt Angle (still acting like John Cena) talks down to him..
    • Mini-Kurt grabs the microphone and says "John Cena... you are a wiener!"
    • Mini-Kurt starts a chant "When I say Cena, you say wiener!" -- crowd: "wiender!"
    • Kurt Angle (as John Cena) charges mini-Kurt, who trips him and pits the ankle lock on Kurt Angle..
    • Editor's Note: Just so you know Kurt Angle set this all up and he and the midget are in cahoots..
    • John Cena's music hits and John Cena comes out to the ring to get in Kurt Angle's face!
    • Mini-Kurt gives John Cena a low-blow, and then the real Kurt gave him an angle slam!

  3. MATCH: Chris Benoit vs Doug Basham w/Danny Basham..
    • Chris Benoit tried a suicide dive onto both Basham Brothers, but missed and hit the floor..
    • Doug Basham pulled the old fasioned switcheroo tactic with Danny Basham sliding into the ring..
    • Chris Benoit fought back anyway and made Danny Basham tap out to the crippler crossface..
    • A-Train (pink slip this guy) attacks Chris Benoit from behind as five referee run down to pull them apart..

  4. TAPED INTERVIEW: Michael Cole & Stephanie McMahon..
    • Stephanie gives what is supposed to be candid comments about why her father is forcing a match between the two..
    • Stephanie says that she hopes tonight is not her last night appearing on Smackdown!..
    • Stephanie says that her father has banned her from Smackdown! tonight just to rub it in her face..
    • Stephanie says that she's always grown up in the McMahon Family, where all dirty laundry is aired in public..
    • Stephanie says that she loves the business and wanted to be in it to be closer to her family..
    • Stephanie says she doesn't know what she'd do if she is forced to leave Smackdown!..
    • Stephanie also says she doesn't know what the WWE would be like without Vince McMahon..
    • Stephanie says her mother has been so great standing up for her in her corner against her father..
    • Stephanie says she has probably been spoiled and always got anything she wanted as a child..
    • Stephanie says that as far as work ethic goes, she has worked hard to get to her position in the company..
    • Stephanie admits that there are parts of her father in her (que the tears) and says she doesn't want to be feared..
    • Stephanie goes for the oscar and breaks out in tears, saying she didn't think it would ever come to this..
    • Stephanie (balling profusely) said she never thought her father would put his hands on her like he has..
    • Stephanie says that if her father every goes through with this match, they'll never have a relationship again..
    • Stephanie says if she ever gets married "again" (eeeeerrr) or have a baby, her father won't be a part of it..
    • Stephanie says she does still love her father, but she doesn't like him (worst tearjob ever)..

  5. BACKSTAGE: Nidia & Jamie Noble + Tajiri + Vince McMahon..
    • Nidia says it's disgusting what Vince McMahon is doing to Stephanie and says she hopes Steph wins at No Mercy..
    • Jamie Noble says that he thinks Smackdown! without Vince McMahon sounds good to him..
    • Tajiri, who overheard the whole conversation, ran off to tattle on the pair to Vince McMahon..
    • Vince McMahon sets up a match between Jamie Noble & Tajiri to take care of Jamie Noble..

  6. NON-TITLE MATCH: Tajiri (CW Champ) vs Jamie Noble w/Nidia..
    • Jamie Noble becomes the very first person to ever block Tajiri's springboard elbow..
    • Tajiri brought the Cruiserweight title into the ring, and Nidia tried to pulled it away from him..
    • Tajiri spewed a dark green mist into Nidia's face, causing her to scream out loud..
    • The match was abandoned and ruled a no-contest, I guess, win/loss is not important in the WWE any more..
    • After the commercial, Nidia is still having a panic attack as she is getting looked over by WWE trainers..

  7. IN THE RING: Jamie Noble + Brock Lesnar..
    • Jamie Noble marches back to the ring and grabs the microphone..
    • Jamie Noble says that if Nidia doesn't recover from this he will hunt him down and punish him..
    • Jamie Noble calls Tajiri out, no response, so he leaves to go find him backstage..
    • Instead, Brock Lesnar attacks Jamie Noble on the stage, and drags him to ringside..
    • Brock Lesnar demolishes Jamie Noble, ramming him into the ringpost..
    • Vince McMahon & Sable come down and Vince McMahon shakes Brock Lesnar's hand..

  8. IN THE RING: Vince McMahon & Sable..
    • Vince McMahon says he watched Stephanie's "Academy Award Winning Performance" earlier..
    • Vince McMahon says that if you truely care for someone, you will hurt them badly..
    • Vince McMahon talks out of his ass for the next few unbearable minutes..
    • Sable gets the mic and gives another pathetic performance that wouldn't even impress a porn director..
    • Sable finishes off by giving Vince McMahon a dirty slutty kiss..
    • Nothing else happened, that's it.. Ultimo Dragon is stuck on Velocity and we get to watch this crap!

  9. NON TITLE MATCH: Eddie Guerrero (US Champ) vs Rhyno..
    • Rhyno tried to use the US title belt as a weapon, but the referee pulled it away from him..
    • Eddie Guerrero went for a frog-splash, but Rhyno lifted his knees and caught Eddie in the mid-section!
    • Eddie Guerrero stole the timekeepers metal hammer, and put it inside his boot..
    • The referee got distracted, and Eddie Guerrero tossed the hammer at Rhyno..
    • The referee turned around and saw Rhyno with the hammer and took it away from him..
    • Eddie Guerrero picked up the US title belt and whacked Rhyno with it for the victory!
    • After the match, The Big Show ambushed Eddie Guerrero as he was backing out in his low-rider..
    • The Big Show knocked out Eddie Guerrero and then smashed the hell out of all the windows and headlights..
    • The Big Show tossed Eddie Guerrero onto the already shattered windsheild, lacerating Eddie 's back!
    • The Big Show then power-bombed Eddie Guerrero on the hood of the low-rider!
    • The Big Show then chokeslammed Eddie Guerrero on the top of the vehicle leaving him a bloody mess..

  10. MAIN EVENT: Rey Mysterio vs Johnny Stamboli (wow what a main event!)..
    • Referee Brian Hebner ejects Nunzio & Chuck Palumbo from ringside before the match started..
    • Rey Mysteri won after the 619 and West Coast Pop..

  11. BACKSTAGE: Shannon Moore / Funaki / Orlando Jordan + Matt Hardy + John Heidenreich..
    • The 'smackdown! extras' are watching as Eddie Guerrero's low-ride is being towed away..
    • Matt Hardy comes up to Shannon Moore and gives him a gift -- a framed poster of Matt Hardy..
    • John Heidenreich shows up and asks Matt Hardy to give his tape to Stephanie McMahon..
    • Matt Hardy says that Stephanie McMahon probably won't be General Manager after Sunday..
    • Matt Hardy says he'll make sure it gets where it should go, but throws it in the garbage when John leaves..

  12. INTERVIEW: Michael Cole & The Undertaker + Brock Lesnar..
    • The Undertaker explains the rules of a "Biker Chain" match, saying there will be no rules..
    • The Undertaker says that there will be a chain hanging above the ring, and if you get it, you can use it..
    • The Undertaker says he hopes Stephanie beats Vince at No Mercy
    • Editor's Note: The Undertaker had to say that in case people started to think the WWE title match was important..
    • Brock Lesnar attacked The Undertaker from behind, wrapped the chain around his neck and dragged him away!!

  13. ON STAGE: Brock Lesnar & The Undertaker..
    • Brock Lesnar & The Undertaker brawl on the stage and down the ramp and into the ring..
    • Brock Lesnar continues to drag The Undertaker around by the neck..
    • Brock Lesnar drapped the chain over the ringpost and hung Undertaker from it!
    • The Undertaker kicked Brock Lesnar in the face and got loose..
    • The Undertaker reversed an F5 and wrapped the chain around Brock's neck..
    • Brock Lesnar slows Undertaker down with a low-blow!
    • The Undertaker gave Brock Lesnar a chokeslam in the middle of the ring and chases Brock Lesnar out of the ring!

  14. Smackdown! goes OFF THE AIR....

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