CHYNA: If They Only Knew

by Chyna

Description: Chyna was nothing before she came to the WWF. Then she became Chyna, a phenomenon in wrestling, breaking down walls by wrestling men on a regular basis. Perhaps Chyna's most shocking accomplishment was posing for playboy and putting the airbrush technician's kids through college. Sometimes in life, when you have nothing, and then suddenly you have everything, it messes with your head. Well, Joanie Laurer's head became messed up, and too big for her own good.

It is with great sympathy that I say that Joanie "Chyna" Laurer is a very miserable person. This book was sad. She talks about herself like she is the equivalent of Hulk Hogan. I guess if you look at how her life has been on a constant downward spiral ever since leaving the WWE you can't help but feel bad for her. From failing on TV, to failing in movies, to failing in music, she has resorted to selling a sex tape with her and Sean Waltman. This is a true example of someone who obviously needs help.

Rating: 1 out of 10. Horrible book. Horrible person.

Reviewed by Brad Dykens on January 30, 2005.

Joe L. wrote his review: I have never seen such egotism and self-centered indulgence throughout my entire life. Hulk Hogan's book is one-sided drivel? He ought to check out Chyna's travesty of an autobiography and take note on how his behavior could come back to bite him in the ass. Miserable, pitiful, incoherent and shameful to read, Chyna's "autobiography" is an embarrassment of fabricated lies, bloated narcissism, vicious ramblings and constant yelling, yelling, yelling. No one should even think of touching this book. If you were expecting a Mick Foley-style profile, then look someplace else. The language in this book is simply a trainwreck, filled with profanity-laden statements and bitter speeches that contradict truth from fiction.

For example, Chyna's criticism of her trainer Killer Kowalski as being "overprotective" and holding them back before they reach their pinnacle is simply pathetic, given the man's reputation. And when she takes stabs at Diane Keaton, Goldberg, Sable, Matthew Broderick, among others, she comes across as a jaded high school bully than a person trying to tell a story. This isn't a story of human triumph; it is an ego-ridden fairy tale with Chyna arrogantly exclaiming "ME, ME, ME, IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!!"

Let me just point out that Chyna's rise in the WWF cannot be denied as she reached spots that most female wrestlers would never achieve. But when success comes and she expects everything to work the way she wants it to work, terrible results will follow. This is one of them. In the end after reading this book, you'd have to wonder if Chyna knew the difference between common sense and ignorance and what she was getting herself into.

No? Ah, Chyna, if only you knew.

Rating: Strongest recommendation to avoid at all costs.

Jesse Lee wrote his review: Horrible book. Brad Dykens and Joe L. couldn't have described any better. If you're a fan of Chyna (which basically means you're a casual fan who hasn't watched wrestling since 1999), then avoid this book at all costs... I'm afraid the mental and emotional depression would somehow go from the book and to the reader. Personally, I stopped reading after the first chapter. I then proceeded to use the soft-cover book as a target for sighting in my gun. Rating? Should be destroyed.

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