WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE TABLES MATCH Evolution (Ric Flair & Batista) defeated The Dudley Boyz (Bubba & D-Von) to retain the World Tag Team titles: The Coach left the announce position and ran down to the ring, but got the Wassup Drop from the Dudleyz! Batista put D-Von through a table to end a bad bad baaad match.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT John Cena + Rob Van Dam: John Cena did a rap about winning the Royal Rumble. Rob Van Dam stepped in and finished the rap with his initials — R.. V…D!
WWE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH Rey Mysterio defeated Jamie Noble w/Nidia to retain the WWE Cruiserweight title: Rey Mysterio won in about three minutes after Nidia accidentally tripped her boyfriend Jamie Noble. After the match, Jamie Noble argued with Nidia as Rey Mysterio celebrated in the ring.
FAMILY FEUD MATCH Eddie Guerrero defeated Chavo Guerrero w/Chavo Classic: Eddie Guerrero pinned his nephew Chavo (Jr.) after a frog-splash! Eddie Guerrero then low-blowed his brother Chavo (Sr.) and tied him to the ropes with his tie! Eddie then assulted Chavo (Jr.) until he started bleeding.
INTERVIEW Chris Benoit + Evolution (Ric Flair & Randy Orton & Batista): Chris Benoit talked about having to go through 29 men (he’s #1) to win the Royal Rumble. Ric Flair got in Benoit’s face, saying that everyone knows he can’t win the “big one”.
WWE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH Brock Lesnar defeated Hardcore Holly to retain the WWE Heavyweight title: The match lasted about six minutes.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE LAST MAN STANDING MATCH World Heavyweight champion Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels ended in a draw: Shawn Michaels tried a moonsault on Triple H outside the ring, but ended up crashing through the Announce Table! Michaels later hit his elbow drop and went for the superkick, but HHH dropped to his knees and low-blowed HBK (something he learned from Ric Flair)! Triple H hit a Pedigree late in the match, but Shawn Michaels got up after a nine count! Michaels connected with a desperation superkick, and both men were down for the 10 count! The match was ruled a draw and both men were bleeding heavily — the fans booed the finish. Both wrestlers were stretchered out of the ring, but Shawn Michaels got off and walked out on his own.
IN THE RING Eric Bischoff + Paul Heyman + Stone Cold Steve Austin: RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff came out and bragged about the RAW roster being superior to the SmackDown! roster. SmackDown! General Manager Paul Heyman then came out and engaged in an interesting catfight situation, before… Stone Cold Steve Austin then hit the ring and said Eric Bischoff & Paul Heyman are wasting everybodies time acting like jackasses! Steve Austin said he only wanted to know “who started it?” Paul Heyman begged for his life, and Steve Austin delivered a stunner to Eric Bischoff! Austin shared a few beers with Paul Heyman before delivering a stunner to HIM as well!
LOCKER ROOM SEGMENT Terri & Bill Goldberg + Brock Lesnar: Bill Goldberg talked about how he’ll enter at #30 and win the Rumble and go on to headline WrestleMania. EDITOR’S NOTE: Why would a babyface be proud of doing things the “easy way,” that’s a heel characteristic… Brock Lesnar stepped in and said Terri should be interviewing the WWE Champion, and not Bill Goldberg. Lesnar & Goldberg engaged in an interesting confrontation (possibly building towards WrestleMania?)
ON COMMENTARY: Jim Ross reluctantly admitted to Tazz that Mick Foley was a coward for not showing up!
ROYAL RUMBLE Chris Benoit last eliminated the Big Show to win the 2004 Royal Rumble!: At #13, The Undertaker’s old BONG audio hit on the sound system and took Kane out of his game and led to Booker eliminating him. At #19, Kurt Angle (the man who guaranteed a victory, and dedicated it to the armed forces) came out. At #20, Chris Benoit, Randy Orton and Kurt Angle were left in the ring! At #21, Test’s music hit and he didn’t make it to the ring, because he was attacked backstage! ~~~Backstage, Steve Austin ordered an unknown wrestler to GO TO THE RING, because they’re the new #21! Mick Foley hit the ring (replacing Test) and eliminated Randy Orton and himself in the process. Randy Orton went on to brutally assult Mick Foley with a steel chair after their eliminations. At #22, Chris Benoit, Kurt Angle and Christian were left in the ring. At #24, Big Show came out and Jim Ross remembered Big John Studd, saying those “big guys” have an advantage. At #25, Chris Jericho eliminated his ‘little buddy’ Christian. At #30, Bill Goldberg came out and eliminated Nunzio, Billy Gunn and Charlie Haas. FINAL SEVEN: Chris Benoit, Kurt Angle, Big Show, Chris Jericho, John Cena, Rob Van Dam and Bill Goldberg. Brock Lesnar ran down and planted Bill Goldberg with a big F5! Kurt Angle tossed Goldberg out! The Big Show dumped both Rob Van Dam and John Cena over the top rope — Cena landed bad and may have suffered a leg injury. FINAL FOUR: Chris Benoit, The Big Show, Chris Jericho, and Kurt Angle. The Big Show choke-slammed Chris Jericho over the top rope to eliminate him! The dominant Big Show eliminated Kurt Angle next. FINAL TWO: Chris Benoit and the Big Show. Chris Benoit eventually powered the Big Show over the top rope to win the Royal Rumble and the right to headline WrestleMania 20!!
AFTER THE SHOW: After the cameras went down, Stone Cold Steve Austin came to the ring and hugged and congratulated Chris Benoit. Steve Austin then shared a few beers with Chris Benoit (wonder if this is a hint that Benoit will jump to RAW?)
ORDER OF ENTRY
Rhyno Matt Hardy
Ernest “The Cat” Miller
Mick Foley (sub for Test)
The Big Show
Rob Van Dam
ORDER OF ELIMINATION
Bradshaw by Chris Benoit (at #5)
Tajiri by Rhyno (at #6)
Mark Henry by Chris Benoit (at #6)
Hurricane by Matt Morgan (at #10)
Scott Steiner by Booker T (at #11)
Kane by Booker T (at #13)
Spike Dudley never made it (at #13)
Rhyno by Chris Benoit (at #14)
Matt Hardy by Rene Dupre (at #15)
Rene Dupre by Rikishi (at #15)
Matt Morgan by Chris Benoit (at #16)
Rikishi by Randy Orton (at #16)
Booker T by Randy Orton (at #16)
A-Train by Chris Benoit (at #17)
Shelton Benjamin by Randy Orton (at #17)
Ernest Miller by Randy Orton (at #18)
Rico by Randy Orton (at #20)
Randy Orton by Mick Foley (at #21)
Mick Foley by himself (at #21)
Christian by Chris Jericho (at #26)
Charlie Haas by Bill Goldberg (at #30)
Billy Gunn by Bill Goldberg (at #30)
Nunzio by Bill Goldberg (at #30)
Bill Goldberg by Kurt Angle
John Cena by The Big Show
Rob Van Dam by The Big Show
Chris Jericho by The Big Show
Kurt Angle by The Big Show
The Big Show by Chris Benoit! WINNER: Chris Benoit!!
Most Eliminations (thanks to Rob for sending these stats)
Chris Benoit – 6 (Bradshaw, Mark Henry, Rhyno, Matt Morgan, A-Train, The Big Show).
Randy Orton – 5 (Rikishi, Booker T, Shelton Benjamin, Ernest Miller, Rico).
The Big Show – 4 (John Cena, Rob Van Dam, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle).
Bill Goldberg – 3 (Charlie Haas, Billy Gunn, Nunzio).