ECW (1/3) Extreme Exam!

HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
ECW (1/3) Extreme Exam!
Our resident philosopher looks at an action packed hour of ECW.

ECW unveiled Sheamus‘s replacement on the roster. (He’s a transplant from TNA by way of FCW). William Regal also made another bid to earn a title shot.

This Week’s Episode: Sharp as an Archer’s arrow

The show opened with highlights of Christian v Yoshi Tatsu, from last week. Tatsu really came close to taking the title. The match was filled with great moves and the crowd was on their feet for the whole match. After the match, William Regal had Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson take out Christian.

Speaking of Christian, the champ stormed down to the ring. He was not a happy camper. He didn’t even recognize his fans, like he normally would. he called for the stick. Christian demanded that Regal come to the ring, immediately. Regal made Christian wait. Christian decided to go looking for the leader of the Ruthless Roundtable. He was stopped by Tiffany, ECW’s General Manager. She strolled down to the ring as her annoying music blared. Tiffany said she owed Christian an apology. Tiffany wanted to handle this situation, since Regal’s actions were because she wouldn’t give him a title shot. Tiffany tried to explain that if Christian gave Regal a title shot, he would be playing into Regal’s hands. Christian said he didn’t care.

Regal, Kozlov and Jackson then strolled from the back. Christian urged Regal to come to the ring. Regal wanted to know why he should give Christian what he wanted? Regal wanted to know if Christian would put the ECW title on the line. Christian was ready to scrap his other match to face Regal. Christian reminded Tiffany that he was in the same arena where he won his first ECW title. Regal refused to face Christian, right then. Regal said he would only face Christian, on his terms. Regal wanted to face Christian, next week, in England. Christian said he would see “Bill” in England, next week. Tiffany said Kozlov and Jackson would be banned from ringside. Tiffany then told Regal he would fight, next. Christian waited in the ring. He drilled Regal with a Baseball Slide Dropkick to the chest. ECW went to break.

Regal was nursing a sore neck as ECW returned. His opponent was Goldust. The Bizarre One got a huge pop as he arrived.

William Regal d Goldust

Goldust danced around to throw Regal off his game. The two locked up and moved to the ropes. Goldust and Regal exchanged fists, with Goldust coming out on top. The two fought out to the floor, where Goldust dropped Regal. They got back in the ring and punched away. Regal threw Goldust to the outside and they started fighting on the floor, again. Goldust rolled Regal into the ring and hit an Atomic Drop. Goldust mounted the turnbuckles and punched away. regal came back and threw Goldust into the corner and punched away. Regal Irish Whipped Goldust to the corner and hit a Fore-arm Shiver to drop Goldust. Regal slapped on a Rear Chin Lock. Goldust turned and got to his feet. he punched at the ribs and hit the Goldustin Uppercut. He hit Running Clotheslines on Regal but ate a boot. Goldust hit a weak Powerslam. Goldust nailed a Bulldog and went for a Splash. When he missed, Regal nailed the Knee Trembler to take the win.

Grade: B-

Jay’s Thoughts: ECW goes to England, next week? I smell a serious title switch. It could open the door for Yoshi Tatsu to follow up with a title shot to gain his first gold.

Rosa Mendes chatted with Zack Ryder. Zack was smitten with the lovely Latina. ECW went to break.

Rosa was introduced as the guest ring announcer. Rosa rambled about practicing her ring announce duties. She called out Zack Ryder, after a cameraman told her to get on with it. Rosa was absolutely gorgeous, other than her legs are way too thin. She then introduced Shelton Benjamin

Shelton Benjamin d Zack Ryder

The Finish:

Shelton got to his feet but Zack used a Back Heel Trip to take Shelton back down. Shelton worked over the ribs to get free. The two got into a slugfest. Shelton came out on top in that little exchange. Shelton with the Back Body Drop and an Irish Whip. Shelton nailed the Stinger Splash and sent Zack to the ropes. Zack got a shot in on Shelton but then fell victim to the Belly to Belly Overhead Suplex. They ended up on the floor, again. Zack flipped Shelton into the ring but stopped to stare at Rosa. That let Shelton hit Paydirt on the distracted Zack Ryder.

Grade: B

Jay’s Thoughts: I have to think this match was a thank you to Shelton for making Sheamus look good in the last few weeks. I’m hoping he finally gets brought up to championship matches.

Paul and Katie Lea Burchill waited in the ring for The Hurricane. Hurricane’s cool intro ran and the Emerald Knight same tot he ring with his new green and black kendo stick. Hurricane got a Halloween shot at Katie Lea. Paul was tired of the fraud that Hurricane put over on the fans. Hurricane said the fans loved to fly and “chicks dig super-hero types”. Paul had a proposal to end it all. If Paul wins, Hurricane will unmask. If Hurricane wins, Paul and Katie Lea will leave ECW. Hurricane accepted with a modified Green Lantern rhyme.

Jay’s Thoughts: So where will the Burchills go when they lose? (Which they will).

In the back, Tony Atlas and Abraham Washington grumbled about William Regal tearing up his Rent-a-Center furniture, last week. They started talking about the new set they waned from Tiffany. The newest ECW superstar, Vance Archer (Lance Hoyt/Rock), walked past Washington and Atlas. Tiffany said Archer was “intense”.

The Raw Rebound looked at all the fun and silliness of the Osbournes on Raw. They brought out Great Khali for a segment called Raw’s Got Talent. Chris Masters flexing pecs thing was the funniest darn thing I have seen on wrestling in years. My daughter, Jess, was impressed.

Vance Archer d Logan Jones

Vance grinned/smirked at his victim. Archer shoved Logan out of the ring. Jones, like Triple H, was trained by the late, great Killer Kowalski. It didn’t help him much against Vance. Vance slapped Logan and then hit a Rolling Hip Toss/Slam combo. Vance took the win with a Inverted Powerspin DDT (The Final Touch).

Grade: Big D, actually a solid B

Jay’s Thoughts: The long hair did wonders for Lance/Vance. He sure as heck ain’t no pretty boy. I hope he doesn’t get lost in the shuffle like he did in TNA, but I kind of expect it to happen.

The main event was next. Kozlov and Jackson would face Christian and Yoshi.

The Ruthless Roundtable waited in the ring for the ECW champ and the Japanese Superstar. Christian came out, wearing his title belt. This time, he showed love to his “peeps”. Christian waited at the base of the ring for his partner, Yoshi.

Christian and Yoshi Tatsu d Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson

The Finish:

Kozlov with the Locked Arm Headbutt. Kozlov with the Belly to Belly Suplex. Jackson tagged back in and pounded the ribs. Jackson slapped on a different version of the Double Underhook. Jackson pounded Yoshi in the back of the head. Jackson threw Yoshi into the corner but missed the Splash. Yoshi crawled to his corner and brought in Captain Charisma. Christian went after Kozlov with hard fists to the head. Kozlov Irish Whipped Christian to the corner but ate a boot on the run-in. Christian with the Morningstar (Flying European Uppercut off the middle ropes). Christian Dropkicked Jackson off the apron. Christian scampered up the turnbuckles but got caught. Kozlov threw Christian into the ring. Kozlov with a Gut Wrench into a Body Vise. Christian slipped free and put Kozlov down with the Slop Drop. Jackson prevented the pin. Yoshi rushed in and joined Christian in an attack on Jackson. They flipped him out of the ring and to the floor. Yoshi then hit a Flying Crossbody over the top rope, onto Jackson. Back in the ring, Kozlov used a Fallaway Slam on Christian. Kozlov missed a Charge into the corner. Christian went to the corner for a Tornado DDT. Christian pulled the KillSwitch to take the win for the team.

Grade: B

William Regal rushed the ring and tried to Pearl Harbor Christian. It led to a serious slugfest between the two. Jackson then jumped Christian from behind. Jackson stomped on Christian. Christian was dragged into the ring post. His ribs hit the steel. Regal then locked in the Regal Stretch, on the floor. Regal shrieked like a Banshee as he twisted the ECW Champ’s body.

Jay’s Thoughts: Did ECW just kill all possible momentum with Kozlov and Jackson? Those two powerhouses were upstaged by a team that is almost half their size. This is why Kozlov bombed over on Smackdown. To think, I was looking forward to Kozlov/Jackson v JeriShow. Never mind.

Final Grade: B

Final Thoughts: So Regal gets yet another shot at the title. Tyler Reks is still MIA. Sheamus leaves and Archer becomes teh latest Goldberg wannabe. Yes, it’s pretty much status quo in the Land of Make Believe err.. Extreme.I’m wondering how ECW will get left out of Survivor Series. It’s going to happen. I’d just about bet the farm on it.

— Jay Shannon
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(11/4/09)