Shannon: The ECW (10/28) Extreme Examination!

HeadLocker — Jay Shannon

The ECW (10/28) Extreme Examination!

Our resident philosopher, Jay Shannon, looks at all the action and adventure for this week’s Tuesday Night Delight, ECW

Welcome to the Halloween week edition of ECW. Matt Hardy is still the ECW champ after facing Evan Bourner at Cyber Sunday. Tonight, ECW presented two matches and one of the most pathetic wastes of TV time in years.

The show began with an In Memory of…SD Jones. I want to send out my sympathies to the families of both S.D. Jones and Lia Maivia. Both wrestling legends passed away, last week. They will be missed, but never forgotten. May your souls fly to your next reality on the most gentle of breezes.

Teddy Long came out dressed as the guy from Anchorman. Teddy-Ron Burgendy-Long ran down the show and then had fun with Hornswoggle, who messed with the teleprompter.

ECW came from the home of Rey Mysterio, San Diego, California. Evan Bourne came out for a six-man tag match. Evan had an absolutely fantastic match with Rey Mysterio on Raw and came within inches of taking the ECW title on Cyber Sunday. Matt Hardy joined the man he faced on Sunday in the opening battle. Their partner was the Irish brawler, Finlay.

The heels team began their entrances. Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely were the first two to make it to the ring. Bam and Chavo have been having issues over the weeks. The final member of the sextet was Mark Henry. He had Tony Atlas at his side.

Chavo Guerrero, Bam Neely and Mark Henry d Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy & Finlay

Earlier in the match, Evan hurt his left leg doing a high-risk flip over the ropes. He battled for awhile, with his leg getting focused on. Eventually, he tagged out and sat out the majority of the rest of the match. The final moments of the match was quite chaotic.

Hornswoggle scampered into the ring and gnawed on the over-sized thigh of Mark Henry. While the ref scooted the diminutive dynamo out of the ring, Finlay sneaked in and walloped Henry with the shillelagh. Tony Atlas reached through the ropes and grabbed the ankle of Finlay. As he dragged the Irishman from the ring, Hornswoggle dove through the ropes with his Low-pe Con Hilo (I love that name).

Chavo took in the chaos and rushed around to the corner. He climbed onto the apron and then up the ropes. Matt Hardy tried to attack Chavo, only to get slapped in the face by Chavo. Matt fell backwards onto the canvas. Chavo nailed the Frog Splash to take the win.

Grade: A-

Jay’s Thoughts: I’m concerned that Evan made have done some serious damage to the left leg and/or ankle. Evan’s in the middle of a fantastic push and it would be a true tragedy if Evan ended up on the shelf. I have a feeling that Bam is about to undergo a major Face Turn. His issues with Chavo are going to explode. Mark Henry and Finlay has slid back into mid-card Hell.

ECW came back with a replay of the John Cena “growing up” video that debuted on Raw, last night. Cena is coming back at Survivor Series. I’m concerned that he’s rushing back into the ring wars a little too quickly. Some of the early Cena clips when he was The Prototype reminded me of the Blade Runners era of Sting‘s career.

The show then flashed back to Todd Grisham interviewing Jack Swagger from last week. Swagger showed major disrespect for Tommy Dreamer by saying “Tommy Who?” when Grisham asked Swagger about the pending feud with Dreamer. Lena then talked with Tommy in the back. Tommy told her that this week was the 19th anniversary of Tommy’s first wrestling match (Happy Anniversary to the greatest wrestler in the industry today). Tommy talked about all the injuries that he’s gone through over the years. Tommy said that it wasn’t about wins or losses, it was about the love of the sport. Tommy asked Jack how he would feel if Tommy beat him.

ECW ran a promo for the Halloween edition of Smackdown. Undertaker is bringing back the legendary Casket Match. The only question is…Who gets buried?

The crowd went wild as the Hardcore Icon, Tommy Dreamer made his entrance. Striker promo’d the new Smackdown v Raw 2009. I have SvR 06, 07, and 08. Each year, the game has gotten better. No reason to think that this year won’t continue the tradition. Jack Swagger then well…swaggered to the ring . he had that Lance Von Erich grin just flowing as he looked at Tommy.

Jack Swagger d Tommy Dreamer

Tommy really looked good in this match. He looked credible in the battle, while not over-shadowing the semi-rookie. The finishing moments of the mat disappointed the crowd. Jack went for his Gut Wrench Powerbomb, but Tommy countered into a Jackknife Bridging Pin. Jack got free and managed to hand Tommy the Anniversary Present of a loss by way of the Gut Wrench Powerbomb.

Grade: B+

Jay’s Thoughts: I would have liked to have seen Tommy take the win. However, Tommy is always the professional. He knew that he needed to lose to help push the younger Swagger. I applaud Tommy for being a true professional.

ECW ended the show with another horrible episode of the Dirt Sheet. I have to be real careful when I type that so I don’t slip and mistype my true name for it. Miz and Morrison ran a silly promo video that ridiculed both Triple H and Shawn. They then trotted out two imitators. Miz and Morrison wasted time doing a lame humiliation routine on the two men. Miz and Morrison hit their finishers on the phony DXers to end the show.

Grade: F- (F for Freaking Stupid Waste of Time)

Jay’s Thoughts: I absolutely hate the Dirt Sheet segments. They are boring and unfunny. Morrison’s 1960’s Hippie Rants are, at best, lame. Miz is somewhat decent on the stick, but the material he’s been given is sub-par. It’s bad enough when ECW opens the show with this garbage, but closing the show with it is just criminal. Someone really should lose their job over this train wreck of a segment. It might have been salvaged if the real D-X had showed up and dumped the Nickolodeon-esque Green Slime on the two (well, four) men in the ring.

Final Grade: D (that end segment really destroyed the whole show)

Final Thoughts: Like I said, someone really should lose their job over tonight’s horrid show. Dreamer and Swagger did a good job. The six-man was pretty well pulled off. The show might have received an A- or B+ if they had left out that mess at the end. I can only hope that D-X trashes Miz and Morrison on Monday to shut them up. Please, I beg the writers, take the microphones from Miz and Morrison and hide them. Another few episodes of the Dirt Sheet and Sci-fi will be running re-runs of Star Trek: The Next Generation at 9 P.M. on Tuesdays.

— Jay Shannon
The [email protected]
(10/29/2008)